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Quotes / Yes-Man

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"I don't need no fucking man servant
Trying to follow me around and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of 'em ain't even funny"
Eminem, "Beautiful"

Picard: I can only guess that he does not see—or he does not wish to see—the truth, and he is being insulated against that truth by those who love him most.
Riker: Someone has to confront him.
Picard: Not a task that I'm looking forward to.
Riker: I don't understand this! Everyone is protecting Sarek: his wife, Mendrossen, even you!

Sir Humphrey: I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.
Jim Hacker: Are you trying to say "Happy Christmas," Humphrey?
Sir Humphrey: Yes, Minister.
Yes, Minister, "Party Games" (the Christmas Special)

Det. Amy Santiago: Captain, I hate to be harsh, but I think these drills are slightly unnecessary, possibly, although you are the boss and your judgement is impeccable, so I guess what I am trying to say is thank you.
Det. Rosa Diaz: I agree. With the stuff about the drills, not the spineless ass-kissing.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Undercover"

Ser Davos Seaworth: Pylos is the least of it. The letter...What did your lords make of it, I wonder?
Stannis Baratheon: Celtigar pronounced it admirable. If I had showed him the contents of my privy, he would declare that admirable as well.

Roderick Allingham: News from the police, Ma'am. Apparently they sighted the Doctor and his friends being taken away by the United Front.
Sherilyn Harper: Well now...
Roderick Allingham: Indeed, Ma'am.
Sherilyn Harper: Interesting...
Roderick Allingham: My very thought.
Sherilyn Harper: Roderick, could you kindly not start agreeing until after I've said something?

Lord Edmund Blackadder: E: Your Majesty. I seek your permission to wed.
Queenie: So I hear. Melchie, what do you think of all this?
Lord Melchett: Oh, but I must confess madam, that I'm astonished that Blackadder could possibly have eyes for any other woman than your self.
Queenie: Good point! Though slightly grovelly.

Boss Baby: This is my team? A muscle-head, a bunch of yes-men, and a doodler?
Triplet 1: Exactly!
Triplet 2: Affirmative!
Triplet 3: Good call, B.B.!

Silas Scruemall: But wait, Biffie. We all know that if we bring these women to audition under those circumstances, they'll all be sexy.
A Yes Man 1: Yes sir, Mr. Scruemall!
A Yes Man 2: Isn't that we wanted, Mr. Scruemall?
A Yes Man 3: Bravo, Mr. Scruemall!

"Parker, what do you think? Your staff just follows you around and says 'right'. Just like a regular parrot."
Ellen Ripley, Alien

    Real life 
"It’s better to have been conventionally wrong than unconventionally right."

"Putin loved his pet Chihuahua so much he let it sit in his presidential chair from 2008 to 2012 and even pretended that little Dmitri was actually in charge."

"“Smokey” Joe Barton is the Republican Representative from Texas's sixth district...Barton’s intertwinement with the oil industry is so intense that his declarations in relation to the BP oil spill (that is, his apology to BP) had to be denied even by BP’s own questionably competent Tony Hayward."

"If you quietly accept and go along no matter what your feelings are, ultimately you internalize what you're saying, because it's too hard to believe one thing and say another. I can see it very strikingly in my own background. Go to any elite university and you are usually speaking to very disciplined people, people who have been selected for obedience. And that makes sense. If you've resisted the temptation to tell the teacher, 'You're an asshole,' which maybe he or she is, and if you don't say, 'That's idiotic,' when you get a stupid assignment, you will gradually pass through the required filters. You will end up at a good college and eventually with a good job."
Noam Chomsky

"'What did you do during the campaign?' This is the code of the samurai, not the intellectual, and it privileges the campaign loyalist over the expert."
The Federalist, "The Death of Expertise"

Boy, that sums up everything, doesn't it? Look at Princeton Boy sitting there, just waiting to have a shoebox filled with oily diarrhea handed to him... You could replace him with a Dustbuster. It doesn't matter. No matter who you are, you don't get a war room phone. You sit on your hands and you smile like a fool.
Drew McGary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Dallas Cowboys

"You know what stinks? Lawler used to be really cool...Now? Now he’s the commentary equivalent of the radio “hole” that just laughs at everything that’s said, even when it’s not funny and maybe not even meant to be.

From being the King of Memphis to Robin Quivers. Lovely."

"There’s a huge clue in the book The Man who Heard Voices, which is devoted to the production of Lady in the Water. It’s clear that the author is wildly in love with Night, and makes no attempt to hide it. The way he plays with his buttons at the dinner table, the ease of those three-pointers he sinks at weekly basketball games with his buddies, and even his unusually long earlobes; the author can’t shut up about how bathed in ethereal light M. Night is, even when he’s squatting down and birthing some plops."

"Dr. Karasu acknowledged that he was not immune from taking satisfaction in the success and fame of his patients. 'Wealthy people bring about a degree of awe, even in their therapists sometimes...It’s King Ludwig Syndrome. In the 19th century, Bernhard von Gudden was the psychiatrist for the Bavarian royal family and began to treat King Ludwig II, who was psychotic. In the end, the two of them drowned in a boat. So I teach my people who are treating wealthy people, ‘Don’t get in your patients’ boats.’'"

"Look at it like this. I’m Churchill. Brad [Torgersen] is FDR. We wound up on the same side as Stalin."
Larry Correia on white supremacist Theodore Beale

"One does not simply “wind up” allied to Josef Stalin. This is a process that requires some effort. It is a process during which one is afforded many opportunities to stop and say “wait a moment, I seem to be allying with Josef Stalin, maybe I should reconsider my life choices.”"
El Sandifer, "Guided By the Beauty of Their Weapons"

"Okay, look. The thing you need to understand about Trump, in order to make the last few weeks and the next several months make any sense at all, is that he has been surrounded for pretty much his entire adult life by people whose job it is to tell him everything he says, thinks and does is brilliant. If there was ever a point where he had any self-awareness, it withered and died decades ago."
John Seavey,


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