Quotes about Magikarp
"In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today."
"Famous for being very unreliable. It can be found swimming in seas, lakes, rivers and shallow puddles."
"Whoever its opponent, and however horrible the attack it receives, all it does is Splash around."
"An underpowered, pathetic Pokémon. It may jump high on rare occasions, but never more than seven feet."
"For no reason, it jumps and splashes about, making it easy for predators like Pidgeotto to catch it mid-jump."
"This weak and pathetic Pokémon gets easily pushed along rivers when there are strong currents."
"Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it."
"Magikarp is virtually useless in battle as it can only splash around. As a result, it is considered to be weak. However, it is actually a very hardy Pokémon that can survive in any body of water no matter how polluted it is."
"It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world."
"Its swimming muscles are weak, so it is easily washed away by currents. In places where water pools, you can see many Magikarp deposited there by the flow."
"It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive."
"It is unable to swim against even slow-moving currents. It always splashes about for some reason."
"A Magikarp living for many years can leap a mountain using Splash. The move remains useless, though."
"Although weak and helpless, this Pokémon is incredibly fertile. They exist in such multitudes, you'll soon grow tired of seeing them."
"Its reckless leaps make it easy pickings for predators. On the bright side, many Pokémon enjoy longer life spans, thanks to Magikarp."
"In the distant past, they were fairly strong, but they have become gradually weaker over time."
"Thanks to their strong hold on life, dirty water doesn't bother them at all. They live in waters all over the world!"
"A feeble, pitiful imbecile of a Pokémon that is nonetheless very hardy. Unperturbed by turbid water, it can be found living in all sorts of places."
"Magikarp appears to be only capable of flopping about helplessly."
"He thinks he is king of PokéPark, but all he does is Splash."
—The PokéPark Pad on Magikarp, PokéPark 2: Wonders Beyond
"Wherever there's a body of water, odds are you'll also find Magikarp. All it does is flop around, so it seems kinda weak, but it may in fact be hardier than it looks!"
—The Photodex on Magikarp, New Pokémon Snap
"Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. Magikarp can live in the dirtiest of water. It jumps very well and can evolve into Gyarados."
"Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. Because all Magikarp seem to do is splash around, some consider them weak, but they're actually a hardy Pokémon that can survive in water no matter how dirty it is."
"Magikarp, the Fish Pokémon. A Water type. With neither strength nor speed, Magikarp is thought to be the weakest Pokémon of all."
Quotes about Other Joke Characters
Oops! You nearly chose to play as Claptrap. Close one! I know you didn't mean that! You didn't... did you?
>Yes
Hold on, you've met Claptrap, right? Annoyingly cheerful and talks a lot. You sure about this?
>Yes
Seriously? Claptrap?! You've heard about his weird Action Skill, right? This is really, REALLY what you want?
This is my moment! Vive la France!
All of my training has led to this chance
I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet
I did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet!
— StarBomb, Glass Joe's Title Fight
"Simply put, this is one hulking and fancy piece of machinery that has no business on the track. All the more reason to have it in Forza Motorsport 6 we say."
— Forza Motorsport 6's description of the 2013 Cadillac XTS Limousine
"Conceptualized in retaliation of SNK's blatant ripoff of Capcom's chacters, Dan Hibiki was always meant to be a complete joke."
"Some graduate from the Academy through the trials of steel and will. Others accidentally wandered into the graduation ceremony on the way to the family farm. Guess which category you fall into."
Touristmans class description, Dungeonmans
"Magma Rager?! Why would you play this card?"
— Arch-Thief Rafaam, Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft
Johnny: Amy, Robotnik, and Eggrobo— they are all just pure shit, and the less I say about the Tails Doll, the better.
Tails Doll: I heard that.
Johnny: Yeah, and I'll fuckin' say it again! YOU SUCK!
Tails Doll: I heard that.
Johnny: Yeah, and I'll fuckin' say it again! YOU SUCK!
— SomecallmeJohnny reviewing Sonic R
Tumblr user: Could we please get an explanation on Zephyr Spirit? I get that bad cards have to exist but this one's so bad I think a lot of people's first impression was to assume it was a typo! What gives??
Mark Rosewater: Every once in a while we want a creature so bad even the beginners get it’s bad.
? I get that bad cards have to exist but this one's so bad I think a lot of people's first impression was to assume it was a typo! What gives?? Mark Rosewater: Every once in a while we want a creature so bad even the beginners get it’s bad.
— A Tumblr query for the head designer of Magic: The Gathering
for the head designer of Magic: The Gathering