Quotes about Magikarp
"In the distant past, it was somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today."
"Famous for being very unreliable. It can be found swimming in seas, lakes, rivers and shallow puddles."
"Whoever its opponent, and however horrible the attack it receives, all it does is Splash around."
"An underpowered, pathetic Pokémon. It may jump high on rare occasions, but never more than seven feet."
"For no reason, it jumps and splashes about, making it easy for predators like Pidgeotto to catch it mid-jump."
"This weak and pathetic Pokémon gets easily pushed along rivers when there are strong currents."
"Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it."
"Magikarp is virtually useless in battle as it can only splash around. As a result, it is considered to be weak. However, it is actually a very hardy Pokémon that can survive in any body of water no matter how polluted it is."
"It is virtually worthless in terms of both power and speed. It is the most weak and pathetic Pokémon in the world."
"Its swimming muscles are weak, so it is easily washed away by currents. In places where water pools, you can see many Magikarp deposited there by the flow."
"It is said to be the world's weakest Pokémon. No one knows why it has managed to survive."
"It is unable to swim against even slow-moving currents. It always splashes about for some reason."
"A Magikarp living for many years can leap a mountain using Splash. The move remains useless, though."
"Although weak and helpless, this Pokémon is incredibly fertile. They exist in such multitudes, you'll soon grow tired of seeing them."
"Its reckless leaps make it easy pickings for predators. On the bright side, many Pokémon enjoy longer life spans, thanks to Magikarp."
"In the distant past, they were fairly strong, but they have become gradually weaker over time."
"Thanks to their strong hold on life, dirty water doesn't bother them at all. They live in waters all over the world!"
Quotes about Other Joke Characters
This is my moment! Vive la France!
All of my training has led to this chance
I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet
"Simply put, this is one hulking and fancy piece of machinery that has no business on the track. All the more reason to have it in Forza Motorsport 6 we say."
— Forza Motorsport 6's description of the 2013 Cadillac XTS Limousine
"Conceptualized in retaliation of SNK's blatant ripoff of Capcom's chacters, Dan Hibiki was always meant to be a complete joke."
"Some graduate from the Academy through the trials of steel and will. Others accidentally wandered into the graduation ceremony on the way to the family farm. Guess which category you fall into."
Touristmans class description, Dungeonmans