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Funny / Wicked

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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

For the books see here.

Wicked (the musical)

  • Glinda's Moment of Awesome
    Glinda: You heard me! (while gesturing arms to spell C-P-T-V-T) Captivity!
  • Another point for her would be:
    Galinda: And [Fiyero’s] been thinking, which really worries me.
    • Which is followed by:
      Fiyero: Uh, listen, I've been thinking...
      Elphaba: Yes, I've heard.
  • Damn near everything said by G(a)linda because it was written for Kristin Chenoweth and she's always adorably hilarious. Such as the following:
    Galinda: Doctor Dillamond, why do you keep talking to us about the past? You're supposed to be teaching us history.
    (Everyone, especially Elphaba, give her a long look.)
  • The following exchange between Elphie and Glinda that leads to a Catfight:
    Glinda: What exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that filthy old thing!?
    Elphaba: Well we can't all come and go by bubble! Whose invention was that? The Wizard's? Of course. Even if it wasn't, I'm sure he'd still take credit for it.
    Glinda: Well, a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we?
    Elphaba: Oh ho. Now wait just a clock tick! I know that it is difficult for that blissful blonde brain of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually choose someone like me! But it's happened, it's real, and you can wave that ridiculous little wand of yours all you want, you can't change it! He doesn't belong to you, he doesn't love you, and he never did! He loves me!
    (Glinda smacks Elpheba)
    Elphaba:...AHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!! Feel better now?
    Glinda: Yes I do!
    Elphaba: Good. (smacks Glinda) So do I!
    (Cat Fight ensues, complete with Glinda swinging her wand around like a weapon until the Ozian guards break it up)
    • Especially hilarious when watching the original cast with Kristin Chenoweth's Glinda as Kristin is the tiniest of people (she's 4ft11in, so already short compared to the 5ft4in Idina Menzel) ... who is whirling her staff around like a weapon.
    • Ginna Claire Mason makes pew pew pew noises like a Star Wars blaster while Glinda is swinging her wand.
    • Willemijn Verkaik ends her witch cackle with a whistling noise that sounds like a dolphin.
  • A few seconds later, Fiyero literally (at least in some productions) comes swinging onto the scene, screaming "LET THE GREEN GIRL GO!". He's swinging on a vine in a cornfield. Even Glinda's confused by this.
  • In some productions, Fiyero is apparently short on rifles, so his bluff-threat of Glinda is done with... a broomstick.
  • Galinda says "Something's wrong...I didn't get my way..." before nearly fainting.
  • "It's SHOES, Elphaba. Let GO, already." Considering how dark the scene is, and what it's regarding... absolutely HILARIOUS!
    • In some adaptations, Glinda does actually just say 'Let it go!' in this scene. It's even more hilarious with the Frozen parallels in place.
    • And for further hilarity, Savannah Stevenson actually turned that part into a Shout-Out to Frozen by singing the line. This was during Willemijn Verkaik's final matinee - she voiced Elsa in the German and Dutch dubs.
  • This line:
    Galinda: Now, let's tell each other a secret that we've never told anyone before! Fiyero and I are getting married!(in some productions, proceeds to slam her face into her pillow and scream very loudly)
    Elphaba: He's asked you already?
    Galinda: (gleefully) Oh, he doesn't know yet!
  • From the song "What Is This Feeling?":
    Both: There's been some confusion
    Over rooming here at Shiz:
    Elphaba: But of course, I'll care for Nessa.
    Galinda: But of course, I'll rise above it.
    Both: For I know that's how you'd want me to respond.
    (Spoken:) Yes
    There's been some confusion
    For you see, my roommate is—
    Galinda: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe—
    Elphaba: Blonde.
    • Also, the opening from "What Is This Feeling?"
    Galinda: (bubbly) Dearest darling Momsie and Popsicle...
    Elphaba: (deadpan) Dear father...
  • Almost the entirety of "Popular". "La la, laa-aa, laaaaa!" For certain the moment when Galinda tries to use her new wand to turn Elphaba's frock into a "pretty ball gown".
    Galinda: *ahem* (in a lilting, fairy-like voice) Ball gown. *nothing happens* *ahem* (In a decidedly LESS fairy-like voice) BALL GOWN!!!(shakes wand) "Is this thing on?" (tosses wand aside) "Wear the frock, it's pretty!"
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  • This little gem:
    Fiyero: You think I'm really stupid, don't you?
    Elphaba: No, not really stupid.
  • Nessa's hand gestures (indicating shortness) when mentioning Boq during "Dancing Through Life".
  • During Popular: "Toss-toss". This usually leads to Corpsing from both actresses.
    • In addition to this, in Kristin Chenoweth's final performance as Glinda, she throws in a little surprise for everyone, including most of the backstage crew, in the form of a book called "How to be Popular"! She had Idina Menzel in stitches, and somehow managed to keep a straight face through it all! Can be seen here.
      • In said book that Kristin bought out, Glinda has a top ten list of how to help Elphaba, which includes showering "Elphie, every day, shower [...] perhaps some of that green will come off", putting on deodorant "deodorant - no-one likes a stinky witch", fixing the hair "We'll get to that", clean underclothes "that's all I'm gonna say!", and posture, bed making, broom straightening and a beautiful smile.
  • Glinda introducing herself to the Wizard.
    Glinda: My name is Glinda, the "uh" is silent.
    (Wizard gives an extremely bewildered look)
  • This little gem, which doubles as a Take That!:
    Wizard: Where I come from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. *Beat* We call it history.
  • When you put "Defying Gravity" through Google Translate, you get "Ignoring Gravity".
  • Kyle Dean Massey tells the story of one incident while playing Fiyero where a touring production of Wicked had done something that accidentally left either oil or grease on the floor. Unfortunately during the scene where Fiyero and Elphaba run into the field after rescuing the Lion Cub, Kyle slipped, crashed, and the cage broke open displaying the mangled puppet to the audience. The funny part? The slip happened between two very specific lines, and Kyle couldn't think of anything else to say other than the scripted line.
    Elphaba: Don't shake him!
    (Fiyero crashes and breaks open the cage)
    Fiyero: I'm not.
  • In the intro of the stage production, Glinda repeatedly tries to float away in her bubble (which is of course physically suspended from the ceiling of the stage by some means or another), only for the Ozians to ask her yet another question, forcing her to come back down. Finally, someone asks her if it's true she and the Wicked Witch were friends. After a long Beat, Glinda motions for the stage hands to lower her back down yet again.
  • This little Shout-Out:
    Nessarose: Mmm... What's in the punch?
    Boq: Lemons and melons and pears.
    Nessarose: Oh my!
    • Similarly, this when Elphie arrives at the Governor's office to see Nessarose.
    Nessarose: What are you doing here?
    Elphaba: Well, there's no place like home.
    Nessarose: (to Boq as he's trying to leave) Did you really think I'd let you leave me here flat!?
  • Fiyero delivers this weird little gem:
    Fiyero: There's no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
  • Elphaba's little "Boo!" at the end of "What Is This Feeling?", and Galinda's shriek.
  • The Wizard makes his machine do a really funny jaw drop and eyebrow raise when he accidentally acts intimidating towards Elphaba and Galinda, only for them to reveal themselves.
  • From the German-language production in Stuttgart: the scene where Fiyero laughs at Elphaba for having been Galinda-fied. Doesn't sound remarkable? Well. When Fiyero - the ultra-masculine Mark Seibert - imitates the "TOSS TOSS!", the sound that came out of his mouth is so high he legitimately sounds like a girl. Like Galinda. Enjoy. Plus, the full-body fling, in comparison to his much more restrained colleagues (Anton Zetterholm, for example).
  • Glinda distracts from Fiyero's doubts about people's beliefs about Elphaba, or the Wicked Witch...
    Fiyero: Do you hear that? Water will melt her? People are so empty-headed, they'll believe anything. (stalks off)
    Glinda: Fiyero! Oh, yes. Thanks plenty, dearest. He's gone to fetch me a refreshment. He's so thoughtful that way! That's why I couldn't be happier...'
  • "The Wizard and I" contains some lines that are clearly intended as ironically amusing, given what we're told at the beginning of the play and what we likely already know coming in...
    I know - it sounds truly crazy
    And true, the vision's hazy
    But I swear, someday there'll be
    A celebration throughout Oz
    That's all to do with me!
    And I'll stand there with the Wizard
    Feeling things I've never felt
    And though I'd never show it
    I'll be so happy, I could melt!
  • This entire conversation.
    Fiyero: Why is it that every time I see you you’re causing some sort of commotion?
    Elphaba: I don’t cause commotions, I am one!
    Fiyero: That’s for sure.
    Elphaba: So you think I should just keep my mouth shut, is that what you’re saying?!
    Fiyero: No! What I’m saying—
    Elphaba: Do you think I want to be this way? Do you think I want to care this much?
    Fiyero: Look, all I meant was—
    Elphaba: Do you think I don’t know how easier my life would be if I didn’t?
    Fiyero: Do you ever let anybody else talk?
    Elphaba: Oh, sorry. (Fiyero tries to speak again, gets interrupted by Elphaba) But can I say one more thing?