- In "The Fall," Ryan Hardy's efforts to wind up Paul and Jacob are rather darkly hilarious.Ryan: Go ahead. The second you get within two feet of me, I'll just snap your neck and crack your spine.Paul: And I'll shoot you dead!Ryan: And his spine will be cracked.Paul: And you'll be dead!Ryan: And his spine will be cracked.
- In "Welcome Home", after Ryan is told to step back from the case by Donovan, he goes to the other room, where Weston asks him what's going on.Ryan: Nobody likes me.Ryan: I was joking.
"Look, I'm sorry your mother isn't here. She was meant to be; that was the plan, but then things just went a little... [*incredibly embarrassed look*] awry."[later] "But in the meantime, I hope that you will... you will give me a chance to prove that I am not a horrible man and that I have the ability to be a rather cool and fun guy, er, dad."
- Joe Carroll, Serial Killer, Big Bad, Manipulative Bastard, Chessmaster par excellence...and Bumbling Dad.
- Amanda's reaction to Ryan Hardy's objection that the Claire Matthews she is holding hostage isn't the REAL Claire Matthews.
- This exchange from "Whips And Regret"Debra: So, are you an alcoholic, or just a problem drinker?Ryan: Yes.
- Another cult member tries to comfort Roderick after he's chewed out by Joe. Roderick doesn't respond well, and the two end up holding each other at gunpoint. The other man explains he just wanted to make a friend and leaves. Roderick's reaction, in which he goes from laughing hysterically to nearly sobbing, is quite funny. He then hits a guy who saw the whole thing, only to immediately apologize and make sure he's okay.
- This moment from "The Curse". Roderick, after stopping Claire from killing Emma, makes a great facial expression of Nothing To See Here to the other Carollism followers.
- Whenever Claire openly mocks Joe's career as a novelist. What's even funnier is how angry it makes Joe, who usually displays Nerves of Steel.Claire: You're a brilliant teacher, Joe, it's just a shame it never translated to your writing.
- In the middle of a home invasion, Claire assures Joe he can trust her with her hands untied. Joe is skeptical, considering the last time he trusted her she stabbed him in the gut several times, but relents. As soon as he turns his back on her, she breaks a wine bottle over his head, stabs him in his first knife wound with a fork, kicks him in the face, and helps the couple he captured to escape.
- Joe's Villainous Breakdown in the final episodes of season one has some real gems amid the horror.Joe: I have been stabbed with a knife and a fork...
Joe: It's a motif, Claire!
- The fact that Joe is disguised as a bearded Good Ol' Boy for the first few episodes of season 2. If the Uncanny Valley effect of mixing his natural personality with an appearance straight out of Duck Dynasty isn't hilarious, his attempts at a thick country accent sure as hell is.
- Mandy laying with her head on Joe's lap, watching a documentary special on his murders:Mandy: Did you play too many video games as a kid?Joe: No.Mandy: Did you watch too many horror movies as a kid?
- Giselle's repeatedly begging the Twins to let her kill Carlos, and then pouting when they refuse her.Luke: Sorry, baby, I forgot. He's still breathing; you can finish him off if you want.
- In "Resurrection," after killing Heather Clarke, Luke helps himself to her iPod and is delighted to find that it's loaded with disco songs.
- Ryan knows he's being tailed by the FBI, and feels safe enough to openly mock the poor bastards. "Sneakers, today, huh? Cool!"
- Ryan is holding Giselle at gunpoint. She reveals she is The Fatalist and turns to run, not caring if he shoots her. Right as she turns around, Max is there to knock her out with a fist to the face.Max: (Shaking off her bruised hand) Ahh! That hurt, but it felt so good!
- After Jamel shoots at Ryan in "Reflection," Luke and Jamel later find his lifeless body on the floor. Cue Luke saying "Hey, I think you got him!" Cue Ryan immediately sitting up and shooting Jamel.
- Emma, a serial killer, complains to Joe, a cult leader, that Lily and her family are all crazy.
- After spending a few episodes fawning over Emma and endearing himself to her, she and Mark are finally about to have an intimate moment. True to her nature, Emma tries to kiss him. Mark instantly recoils in shock and disgust. Though it quickly turns into a bit of a Tear Jerker, it's hilarious when Mark excitedly explains to her that "I have a mild case of haphephobia, and you need to read up on it if you want this to work" topping it off with a Cheshire Cat Grin. Understandably Emma responds by shoving his face back and calling him a nutjob, making him wig out a second time.
- This exchange between Lily Grey and Joe:Lily: Have you been writing?Joe: ... I was in Arkansas.
- Mike whacks Luke in the back of the head with a bat, then hits him in the side, then delivers a Flat "What" at Ryan's shocked expression.
- "I am done with you and your international house of psychos."
- Meanwhile, Emma is laughing her ass off.
- Seeking shelter after the "International House of Psychos" failed to pan out, Joe, Emma, and Mandy end up with the Korban, a supposedly peaceful, "easily influenced" group that turns out to be a full-on, batshit-insane cult that engages in blood rituals.
- In "The Messenger," Micah tells Joe about the cult's version of Heaven: "It's the ninth planet, just behind Neptune." Joe quietly reacts with a "This guy's cuckoo" face.
- Just before heading out on a mission, Ryan hugs Max. She accuses him of getting soft. He tells her to shut up.
- During a flashback in Season 1, Charlie visits Joe in prison to update him on what Claire's been doing.Charlie: She went to a Céline Dion concert on Friday, with her friend Lisa.
- In the episode "Guilt," captured cultist Amanda Porter gives the good guys information about herself. Completely useless information, that is.Debra: Uh, she's a Pisces. Favorite movie is The Notebook. She's an advocate for the death penalty. She believes in creationism over evolution, enjoys '70s soft rock, and hates peanut butter, whole milk, and Anne Hathaway.
- In "Resurrection," Ryan is rather annoyed after he accidentally knocks Carlos Perez unconscious.Ryan: No, no, no. I barely touched you.
- A subtle and perhaps unintentional example: in "Fly Away," both Ryan and Joe (in separate scenes) make similar remarks about Lily.Ryan: Don't be so melodramatic.*LATER*Joe: Y'know, she's a bit of a drama queen.
- During their Enemy Mine situation, Joe asks Ryan if he should be wearing a disguise. Ryan responds by punching him in the face hard enough to bloody his nose, then hands him a towel big enough to cover his face.
- In "A Hostile Witness," Mark (a known serial killer) captures and interrogates Julianna, who exhibits a bit of Genre Blindness:Mark: I'm gonna need you to tell me where Strauss is.Julianna: I can't. He'll kill me.Mark: Oh, wow. Are you slow? Lady, you're already dead.
- In "Flesh & Blood," the scene where Theo kills his neighbors Nancy and Bob is full of understated Black Comedy:Theo: Before I forget... I really need my shovel back. Is it in your garage?(Bob nods slightly)Theo: Thanks. Cindy had her heart set on planting a garden this spring.(Theo shoots Nancy)Theo: *to Bob* Now be honest. Didn't you enjoy that just a little?
- In "Evermore," Joe briefly talks shop with a fellow Death Row inmate before the man loses his temper and just starts beating Joe to a pulp. It's a bit of Black Comedy in an otherwise pitch-black episode:Big Scary Guy: So you're an "eye man."Joe: Calling me an "eye man" is like calling Rembrandt a decorator.Big Scary Guy: Who the hell's Rembrandt? ::beatdown::
Funny / The Following