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Police Academy

  • "DROP THAT STEREO BEFORE I BLOW YOUR GODDAMN NUTS OFF, ASSHOLE!!!"
    • "Tackleberry, we really need to talk."
    • Made even funnier in the TV dub when Tackleberry's cursing is cut and replaced with less offensive terms. Harris' reaction works just as well and makes one believe Tackleberry would've actually said something so wacky.
  • Poor Tackleberry misses out on the riot, and throws a fit.
    Lassard: (watches Tackleberry curiously) What's wrong with this man?
    Barbara: Well there was gunplay, sir, and he missed it.
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  • Just this:
    Harris: Remember Mahoney, nobody screws with me.
    Mahoney: Well, maybe you'll meet the right girl and all of that will change.
    Harris: Get out of here NOW!!! (fires his flintlock through his office ceiling, which goes through Lassard's floor)
  • Poor Blankes and Copeland try to escape some rioters, and end up in the Blue Oyster, again!
  • During the climax, the cadets see that the rioter firing at them has Harris as a hostage. George half-jokingly asks Lassard if they should shoot back. Lassard actually thinks for a minute about it before replying in the negative.
  • Harris and the horse.note 
    • Next scene - note his hair, which has been washed so thoroughly it's laying flat:
    Harris: You told no one?
    Mahoney: Not a soul.
    Que to everbody Corpsing as Harris walks by. And Jones letting out a whinny.
  • Tackleberry taunting Leslie to punch him in the gut, Leslie slaps him in the face instead. Tack looks positively shell-shocked.
  • Larvell Jones using his vocal sound effects to various degrees, from 'playing' an arcade video game to imitating the sound of machine gun fire. This technically counts for all the Police Academy movies, especially when he uses this to troll almost anyone with, in particular Harris and Mauser.
  • The entire scene with Lassard having to give a speech while simultaneously receiving the attentions of a call girl is sidesplitting. And after the speech is done, he gets back to his senses, sort off and walks back to the podium to figure out what was going on. Mahoney emerges from beneath.
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    • Lassard does get even with Mahoney at the end, with the call girl's help.
  • Mahoney smear shoe cream on Harris' speaker, making a ring around his mouth. Harris then talks to Lassard that some of the recruits will be exhausted and drop out, Lassard starts laughing at the mark, Harris thinks he's laughing of what he said and starts laughing with him.
  • Harris catches Mahoney looking at the women showering from the outside one night and Mahoney walks away. Harris then starts watching the women himself and gets caught.
  • The shooting gallery scene, mostly for the last part of the scene when we get to see the cadets in action. Hightower is careful and effective, Leslie is comically inept to the point of being a hazard to everyone else at the range, Thompson shows what she has to prove, while Tackleberry proves that he is a complete nutter.
    • When Barbara slowly turns in a circle, inadvertently pointing the shotgun at the crowd, everybody drops to the ground in a panic. Except Tackleberry.
      • Fridge Brilliance does apply, at least to a degree; it's a pump-action shotgun, and Tackleberry noticed that Barbara hadn't yet ejected the spent cartridge and chambered a new round. Doesn't make Tack's unflinching stance any less funny, though.
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  • When Hightower goes to defend Hooks after Copeland drops a racial slur, you can see Blankes whistling and walking away as Hightower approaches the squad car, as if to say “Sorry, bud, you’re on your own here.”

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment

  • Sweetchuck, before becoming a cadet, owns a shop in the worst part of the city. He locks up the store with vary of stuff, but most notable is a bear trap for the back exit and tops its off with an electrical barb wired gate.
  • Tackleberry and Kirkland having lunch at an outside deli.
    Kirkland: Look, you just worry about your own ass! (takes her garbage and turns around to throw it out turning her butt towards Tackleberry.)
    Tackleberry: That's a nice piece. (Kirkland turns around angry) I was referring to your sidearm.
  • Zed's gang robbing a supermarket.
    Zed: Thank you. I've gotten some very nice deals here.
    Check Out Girl: Excuse me sir, you forgot your food stamps!
  • This classic gem:
    Tackleberry: Mahoney, I'm a virgin!
    [Sees the entire bar he and Mahoney were in start to stare at him]
    Tackleberry: You people go about your business before I crack some skulls!
    • Later, Tackleberry's love scene with Kirkland. After the lights go out, his gun goes off.
      Kirkland: Oh, Eugene!
    • Not to mention the pair of them have to take off about 8-10 guns between them.
  • What exactly happens when Mauser uses epoxy instead of shampoo.
    Mauser: Can anyone explain to me how this happened? *holds up hands, covered in his own cemented hair*
  • After Captain Lassard gives a pep talk to rally the boys, an old cop yells "LET'S KICK ASS!!!" and fires his gun in the air.
  • The brothers Lassard meeting in a Japanese steakhouse has a few moments.
    • The chef performing for a stressed out Pete
    Pete: Is all that crap necessary?
    • Eric thinking it's Pete's birthday placing his goldfish on the grill.
    • Eric placing Pete's hand on the grill, burning it.
    • A shrimp hits Pete in the face:
    Pete: You stupid BASTARD!!
    • Finally the water in Eric's goldfish starts boiling.
    Pete: This fish is boiling.
    Chef: Oh, you want stir-fry?
  • Zed's gang destroys the street fair and Capt. Lassard's job. During which, Zed tells the female mayor "I voted for you." to which the mayor replies "That's very nice."
  • An undercover Mahoney gives his name as "Jughead", prompting Zed to start crying. Why?
    "...My mother's name was Jughead!"
  • The horrified look on Tackleberry's face while he watches Kirkland's father and brother bare-knuckle box each other.
  • When Fackler accidentally knocks Mauser through the air vent giving him a long drop and leaving him hanging for dear life.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training

  • Zed making Sweetchuck's time at the academy miserable.
    • Zed scares Sweetchuck with his flashlight, then shines it on his face.
    • Zed holding a tube of his shampoo in a way that looks like he's holding a knife while Sweetchuck is in the shower.
    Zed: You wanna borrow my shampoo?
    Sweetchuck: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
  • "Listen, the busboys are shoo—" [a gun points at his nose] "--ting my nose."
  • Proctor screaming in pain when the elevator closed.
  • Proctor holding the mirror in front of Mauser in different directions, similar to the scene in Police Academy 2.
    Proctor: Look at this. Look at this angle. Look it at this angle. All angle-
    Mauser: I CAN'T SEE!!
    Proctor: (giving him the mirror) It's yours!
  • Bud Kirkland and Mrs. Fackler watching TV late at night, while apparently fighting over which channel to watch. When Tackleberry comes to send the cadets to bed, a voice on the TV yells "YOU'RE DEAD MEAT, COPPER!!!" Tackleberry quickly turns and fires at the TV, nearly shooting his brother-in-law.
    Tackleberry: Lights out, people!
  • Zed patrols the streets, with the female inspector. Some gang members approach themnote :
    Zed: (to the inspector) You take the big guy, I'll take the little guy.

    Zed: I like to introduce you to the future Mrs. Zed.
    Inspector: AAAAAAAHHH!!

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

  • The scene where the inmates trick Proctor into releasing them, under the pretense that they are playing Simon Says:
    Inmate: Simon says take two steps back!
    [Proctor does so, getting himself back-to-back with the bars of a cell]
    Inmate: Now put your hands up!
    Proctor: Simon didn't say!
    Another inmate: [puts his gun to Proctor's head] But Smith & Wesson did.
  • "DON'T TOUCH THOSE! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH MY BALLS WITHOUT ASKING!"
  • In one of the pranks Mahoney pulls on Proctor, the former waits until the latter has entered a port-a-potty and has it hooked to a crane, and dropped in the middle of a crowded football stadium. Afterwards, the bottom bolts get unscrewed and the shell of the port-a-potty is pulled off, revealing Proctor sitting on the toilet in full sight of everyone. To cap it off, when the Star-Spangled Banner starts playing, he stands up and puts his hand over his heart. Without even considering pulling up his pants first.
  • Proctor squees about a gang of ninjas in what appears to be a throwaway gag. Turns out there really is a gang on ninjas locked in the cells. After the breakout, they end up on a boat in the harbor and get in a fight with Nogata, Callahan and Jones.
  • The amazonian Callahan jumping into the pool to simulate a drowning victim in need of rescue, which also shows that she isn't wearing a bra under her now very wet and translucent shirt, then asks who wants to rescue her. Every single male cadet, including the nerdy Sweetchuck, jumps into the pool after her and she has to swim away from them for her dear life.
    All the men: Oh yeah!
    Callahan: Oh shit!
  • This one plays out over a few scenes. First, Harris gives Zed some flak and Zed mumbles "Jerk." When Harris reacts, a girl who's coming onto him replies, "He said bye," obviously trying to keep things from escalating. Zed later gets his revenge in the locker room by switching out Harris's deodorant for pepper spray. Later still, Harris interrupts Zed's class (with his arms kept up in a brace) to warn everyone to keep an eye on their pepper spray in future, and Zed finishes the Brick Joke by saying, "Bye," heeding what happened earlier.
  • After Mahoney super glues Capt. Harris' megaphone to his lips, they pull the megaphone off in surgery. Proctor later visits Harris with the mouthpiece still glued to his lips.
    Proctor: Hi sir, how are you feeling?
    Harris: (mumbles something incomprehensibly)
    Proctor: I didn't catch that. Was that "The dim shoe to snare off."?
    Harris: I said, I have to wait for the damn glue to wear off!
    • Prior to this, Mahoney visits the emergency room to see how Harris is. One of the surgeons preps for removing the megaphone by firing up a blowtorch.
  • The last lines
    Zed: You know, you look a little like Tom Cruise in Top Gun?
    Sweetchuck: Yeah? You...! (attacks Zed)
  • Harris and Proctor have commandeered a hot-air balloon in order to pursue two of the escaped prisoners. Spotting them, Proctor is about to shoot it down with a shotgun before Harris stops him. Figuring that they need to get off a warning shot, Proctor fires into the air... puncturing the balloon.

Police Academy 5: Assignment-Miami Beach

  • Sugar, the fat jewel thief, is eating a jelly doughnut, accidentally squirts one of the other two jewel thieves in the face.
    Mouse: Egh, you squirted me with the donut, you moron!
    Tony: [hitting him with a map] You are disgusting! You're such a pig!
    Sugar: Boss, I'm sorry!
  • Harris and Proctor's "private plane".
    Proctor: This is great! Our very own airplane! Animals to play with!
    Harris: Proctor, why do I put up with you?
    Proctor: Because my sister married your nephew. So that makes us-
    Harris: Shut up, Proctor! (three chickens jump down at him, in a row)
    Proctor: I think they like you!
  • Dork. And then Jones gets a macaw to say "Hey, Dork!" to Harris as he passes. Let's just say he and Proctor get lots of Butt-Monkey treatment this time around.
  • Sugar farted in the elevator, with the other crooks and hostage Lassard still inside. Everyone else in the elevator scoots as far away from him as possible.
    Sugar: What? WHAT?!
  • Proctor throws an unconscious Harris to the ground in anger for the thieves' escape.
  • Lassard accidentally dropping golf balls from an open side pocket in his golf bag all over the airport terminal, causing quite a bit of pratfalls.
  • The shark scene. Tackleberry puts a gun to the snout.
    Tackleberry: Desist, and leave the swimming area now, mister!
    (The shark turns to leave. Tackleberry keeps yelling at it. It swims faster.)
  • The crowd control demonstration. First House then Hooks prove to be able to deal with crowds in their own way, both without need of a bullhorn. House simply exploits his massive bulk, takes three steps forward, and stops the crowd. For Hooks, it looks like she's struggling at first until their refusal to comply hits her Berserk Button and triggers her infamous Suddenly SHOUTING!, which scares the crowd enough to back all the way into the pool!
  • The three thieves breaking into the museum, with Sugar descending his rope too quickly.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege

  • The return of Fackler the Lethal Klutz. His opening scene is classic in all the mishaps he leaves in his wake; even funnier, they make a Brick Joke by replaying the scene later on but start by having someone call out, "Watch it, it's Fackler!" This time, everyone's wise to him and go out of their way to steer well clear of him.
  • Fackler playing pool. He hits one guy in the head with a ball, hits another guy in the groin with the cue stick, and hits another guy with it in the head.
    Fackler: Its okay if you guys are tired. I'll shoot again.
  • This dialogue:
    Ox: Knock knock.
    Hightower: Who's there?
    Ox: Boo.
    Hightower: Boo who?
    Ox: Quit crying. It'll be over in a moment.
    Hightower: That's it!
    Ox: Huh?
    Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line.
    * BOOM*
  • The cadets seeing two Commissioner Hursts.
    Fake Hurst: That man is an imposter!
    Real Hurst: Me? No! He's the imposter!
    Harris: (and Proctor walks up to the Fake Hurst) Move it! Move it! Commissioner Hurst! These people have violated their suspensions, and I demand that they'd be brought up on charges!
    Real Hurst: Oh Harris, shut up!
    (Harris and Proctor looked behind them)
    Fake Hurst: Oh shut up, Harris!
    (Then quickly looks back)
  • Two of the Wilson Heights gang members get behind the car Harris and Proctor are in, sticking their tongues and making faces.
    Harris: I have a sixth sense-
    Proctor: Sir?
    Harris: Will you let me finish? I have a sixth sense-
    Proctor: But sir-
    Harris: Will you let me finish? I have a sixth sense when it comes to-
    Proctor: But sir-
    Harris: Stop interrupting me! I have a sixth sense when it comes to crime!
    (one of the gang members stick a raccoon tail on the car antenna and both wave good-bye. Proctor waves back)

    Officer: You mean you were here during the robbery?
    Harris: No, of course not!
    Proctor: Yeah we were sir, they came and went just a few minutes ago. [overlapping with Harris] I tried to tell you. Don't you remember, when we were inside the car?
    Harris: [overlapping with Proctor] Shut up, Proctor. Shut up, Proctor. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up...
    Harris: SHUT UP!
  • Harris is stuck in the hole and has to run at the truck's speed, Flintstones-style.
    Proctor: You know, running is the best form of an aerobic exercise.
  • This scene tops it all.
    Hurst: Thank you for your... contribution, Captain Harris.
  • Proctor picks up passengers while chasing after the Mastermind.
    Harris: What... are you... doing!?
    Proctor: I'm picking up passengers.
    Harris: WHYY!?
    Proctor: (takes a paper down) I have to, sir. They're on my route.
    (crumples the paper and throws it to the floor)
    • And then the final passenger to get off the bus is a little girl, who tells Proctor that he's much better than the regular driver, to Proctor's delight.
  • When Lassard and Fackler go inside a Bad-Guy Bar, many of the patrons throw their weapons and stolen wallets over the counter. Then three guys run out of the bar.

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