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Funny / Kick-Ass

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  • For the most part, the movie is very faithful to the comic, so most of what's listed below in the movie section also applies here.
  • Hit-Girl's Shout-Out in the comic to the Fantastic Four : It's fucking CLOBBERING TIME!.
    • Later on, when she kills Genovese, she screams Tunk you!, which was alluded to earlier when Dave's friends ask him to spread around a new curse word that they want to become to Spear Counterpart to the c-word. And then whilst Hit-Girl is killing all of the mobsters, Kick-Ass is just stood there utterly stunned at how quickly the word has caught on.
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  • The whole subplot where Dave pretends to be Katie's Camp Gay best friend is treated in more detail here, and it's very funny(especially Dave's reaction compared to his reaction in the movie).
  • From Kick-Ass 2: the superhero Battle Guy is relating his origins of how his parents had been killed and eaten before his eyes when Kick-Ass identifies him and says out loud that he met his mother at the grocery that morning.
  • From Kick-Ass 3: Dave, mourning at his father's grave in an attempt to evoke imagery of Bruce Wayne at his parents grave, with Todd taking photos as they try to replicate specific shots from the Batman comics.
  • Chris' so-called ninja training in the interquel Hit-Girl: at first it seems serious, but then his teacher sends him to retrieve a blue lotus flower on a mountain because he's seen it in Batman Begins and starts talking with a colleague about how much money they can swindle out of Chris...
    • Later Chris wises up and leaves, deciding to hire a bodyguard... And the ninjas are complaining he won't hire anyone of them, with their boss whining that he had promised his wife a vacation to Las Vegas.
  • From the interquel Hit-Girl, our Tyke Bomb has covered Kick-Ass by gunning down about a dozen between mob bosses and enforcers and he protests she had agreed to not kill anyone. Her answer?
    • Then she notices one of the enforcers trying to stand up and drawing a gun, and shoots him.
    Kick-Ass: Jesus Christ!
  • In Kick-Ass 2, this line from Marcus as he reveals he found Mindy's weapon cache.
    "Props for getting an AK-47 in a teddy bear, by the way."
  • The Motherfucker's first super-crime in Hit-Girl: he enters a store to rob it and tries to murder everyone with a laser while getting on camera and then on the internet. He murders the owner with the laser, but then:
    Motherfucker: What the hell's up with this thing? Why isn't it firing?
    Hood 2: It's the XM-25, Chris. I told you... It takes 30 seconds to recharge.
    Motherfucker: Shit!
    Sons of the victim: Get them!
    • It ends with Insect-Man and Doctor Gravity accidentally stopping Chris' escape... And then debating if they should call the police and save him or not.
  • In Kick-Ass 3 Rocco Genovese orders his people to murder every superhero due the mess done by the Skulls & Bones Gang. So we're treated to the mob murdering Insect-Man, the Juicer, Doctor Gravity... And because his Exact Words had been "Everyone in a costume", they also get a guy in a rabbit costume who's loudly protesting he's not a superhero but a guy trying to raise money for an animal charity.



  • Stu's "Fuck off" to Dave.
  • The opening, in which a man in a bird-like costume leaps off a building to fly. The heroic music builds, people clap in amazement...and then he smashes into a cab and dies.
    Dave: That's not me, by the way. That's some Armenian guy with a history of mental health problems. Who am I? I'm Kick-Ass.
  • Damon shooting Mindy in her Kevlar pillow protected torso, (as part of her training), sending her flying onto her back, all while acting like it's the most ordinary father-daughter bonding.
    • Nick Cage spends the scene saying some of the dumbest most cheesy lines imaginable, and it's awesome.
    • The ice cream parlor scene that follows.
    Mindy: I'm just fuckin' with ya, Daddy!
    • Damon's completely horrified face when she asks for something innocent, like a puppy.
  • Dave's early attempts at armchair heroics: posing in the mirror, shadow fighting, (read: flailing) rehearsing banter, training to jump from roof to roof.
  • Dave's face when the woman in Rasul's apartment starts rubbing her tits together.
  • Damon's little laugh after he conceives of the idea to change our protagonist's name to Ass-Kick.
  • Big Daddy and Hit Girl paying Dave a visit in the middle of the night.
    BD: Your call, but, you know we're around if you need us.
    KA: How do I get a hold of you?
    HG: You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky. It's in the shape of a giant cock.
  • When Frank spies from his limo who he believes to be Kick-Ass; brazenly walking the streets after apparently murdering his men. His increasingly unhinged rambling to himself is just priceless.
    Frank D'Amico: Holy... Shit. I don't fuckin' believe it. Follow him, around the corner. Not too fast... What's with the high-fives?! I'll give you a motherfuckin' high-five! High-fivin' bull-shit!
  • Followed by the mob-boss beginning to lose it: (little kid voice) "Mommy! I want a Kick-Ass party!" (Mark Strong voice) "Dumb little fucks!" *snorts mountain of cocaine*
  • Joe and Chris' banter is hi-lar-i-ous.
    Chris: It - It's everything I need. And you might have to screw someone over, like Louie, or something.
    Joe: Louie? Hey, Chris -
    Chris: Or somebody, it doesn't have to be Louie.
    Joe: ... Tony!
    Chris: Tony.
    Frank: Tony?
    Chris: I hate Tony.
    Joe: Yeah, fuck Tony. He's a scumbag.
  • Chris D'Amico's entrance as Red Mist, jumping down dramatically from a dumpster, only to do what all of us have done from a low fall to our feet at one point or another and land awkwardly, hurting his ankle.
    Red Mist: (jumps down from a ledge, lands on his feet in pain) Shit! Woo! Fuck me! That kinda hurt!
  • Also, when Red Mist is on the dumpster, he's standing in the classic hands-on-hips pose. When he announces himself to Kick-Ass, Dave immediately adopts the same pose.
  • Red Mist and Kick-Ass in the Mist Mobile for the first time. You hear Gnarl's Barkley's "Crazy" and see Kick-Ass head bobbing to it at first and then a few seconds later we see Red Mist and him both dancing to it.
    • "That's right! We're superheroes! You love us!"
  • Chris, as the Red Mist, smokes a joint while driving in the Mist Mobile with Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass's face when he sees Chris smoking one makes it even funnier.
  • Red Mist holding a teddy bear camera.
    Chris: You need to see this!
    Everyone Else: *Stares at the teddy bear*.
    Frank: What does it do?
    • The input holes for the audio/visual cables are in the bear's ass.
    • When they finish watching the video, Joe and Vic both give a look to Frank that screams: “who the hell did you piss off?”.
  • When Kick-Ass breaks into Katie's house and she starts giving him a royal beatdown for it.
    • One of the objects she hits him with is a tennis racket, most likely a nod towards Katie's tennis hobby in the original comic.
    Kick-Ass: You get my page?
    Katie: (screams, sprays him with hair spray in the face)
    Kick-Ass: Oww! Fuck! My eyes! Ow!
    Katie: (drops the hair spray, grabs a tennis racket and starts hitting him with it) Fucking freak in a mask! Get out of my house! (grabs a aluminum baseball bat)
    Kick-Ass: (takes off his mask) It's me, it's me!
    Katie: Dave? What the fuck are you doing?! Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?!
    Kick-Ass: Because I AM Kick-Ass.
    Katie: What?!
    Kick-Ass: And I'm also not gay.
    Katie: ...Fuck!
  • Dave, who's been playing up the gay card to be close to Katie. After the Kick-Ass reveal and courtship, the gang is in the comic shop comparing Kick-Ass and Red Mist, when one of them asks what Katie thinks:
    Katie: "Mm... I dunno. I think Kick-Ass is cute."
    Dave: (arches eyebrow) "Really."
    Katie: (nodding) "Mmhm. I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance."
    Dave: ('oh really?' look) "You would?"
    Katie: (smiles knowingly at Dave) "Definitely."
    Dave: "You uh... mind checking out that new Kate Hudson movie? Cause I was thinking of seeing it and we can totally make the next showing."
    Katie: (stands up) "Hell yeah." (both rush outside)
  • There is a Mood Whiplash during the scene where Big Daddy and Kick- Ass get kidnapped. Stu notices a bazooka:
    Stu: " Hot damn!,I always wanted one of these."
    Chris: " You’re seriously going to take that"
    Stu: "Yes!"
  • During the torture scene as Todd and Marty watch via internet, Marty gestures silently to Todd to look at Erika holding onto him in fear, and Todd gives him a double thumbs up.
  • Dave thinking about what he'll never do due to dying. "Like learn to drive, or see what me and Katie's kids would look like, or find out what happened on Lost."
  • Kick-Ass' Big Damn Heroes moment on the jet-pack, complete with "An American Trilogy" playing.
    • Followed by Frank D'Amico saying "That is one weird-sounding bazooka."
  • "Hey, I have one of those!"
  • Frank D'Amico's reaction after Hit-Girl barges into his office and disarms him: "FUCK!"
  • In case you didn't notice, the whole bazooka scene. It starts with Hit-Girl cornered behind the kitchen's massive counter and without ammo but still dangerous due to her aim with the nearby fillet knives, so Frank's bodyguard, Stu, says he's had enough and is going to recover the bazooka. The other henchmen are wondering if it's not overkill, Hit-Girl cries "The bazooka?!", then there's Chris' reaction to him grabbing the bazooka after declaring he had everything under control...
    [Stu enters Frank's office, bazooka in hand]
    Frank: A bazooka?
    Frank: ...Okay.
  • The guy who 'received' Hit Girl's knives just prior to the bazooka sequence is a whole load of funny. It starts with him being the last guy in a hallway full of mooks that Hit Girl brutally takes out. When she runs out of ammo, she chucks her gun at his head, grabs his gun and tries to shoot him while he's on the ground - only he was also out of ammo. Then, after she's forced to retreat, he's too scared to face her even with fresh backup - so he's given a big gun and sent out against her at gun point where he randomly unloads his magazine at the counter she's behind. When that runs out of ammo, he's got the dumbest nervous grin on his face, looks to his buddies for confirmation... and then receives two knives, points first to the chest.
  • Mindy smiling and cracking her knuckles after the bullies demand her lunch money at the end of the movie.
  • In the comic, Hit-Girl had a black wig tied into a ponytail. In the movie, because it stands out better, she has a purple bob. Funny thing is, she looks like an assassin version of Stephanie from LazyTown.
  • Joe thoughout most of the torture scene.
  • Frank's line after Joe tells about the microwave:"That's neat, I think you must be confusing me with someone who GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE FUCKING LUMBER!"