- Elliott's "It was nothing like that, penis breath!"
- Elliott's mom actually laughs as she tries to reprimand him.
- The bonus scene in the 20th Anniversary Edition when E.T. falls into the bath tub... and doesn't drown. Also, Elliot's pretending to throw up on the phone: the kid's a master of Playing Sick.
- In the same scene Elliot tries to guess how tall E.T. is by comparing their heights. Deeming E.T. to be shorter, the alien then stretches his neck out to full length and smiles smugly at Elliot. Who's short now?
- The whole "Most Excellent Promise" scene.Elliott: Come on, Michael, he came back.Michael: (feigning shock) He came back? He came back? (pretends to be suffering a heart attack) Oh, my God!Elliott: One thing. I have absolute power. Say it. Say it!Michael: What have you got? Is it the coyote?Elliott: No. Look. O.K. Now, swear it. The most excellent promise you can make. Swear as my only brother on our lives!Michael: Don't get so heavy. I swear.Elliott: Okay, stand over there. And you'd better take off your shoulder pads.Michael: WHAT?!Elliott: You might scare him. And close your eyes.Michael: Don't push it, Elliott.Elliott: I'm not coming out until your eyes are closed.Michael: Okay, they're closed. Mom is going to kill you. Eeeughh!Elliott: Okay, swear it one more time. I have—Michael: (Interrupts, impersonating Yoda) You have absolute power, yes! Eeheeheehee!
- Gertie screaming at E.T. the first time she sees him, with E.T. screaming right back. (He seems to be starting to think that's how people greet each other around here.)
- When Michael and Gertie go to hide in the closet, she screams at E.T. again, but Michael quickly covers her mouth. E.T. follows into the closet, screaming with his arms raised above his head.
- Mary's reaction to seeing Elliot's supposed "reorganizing" of his room:"This is no room. This is an accident."
- Gertie's reaction when Elliot claims only kids can see E.T.:Gertie: Give me a break!
- Especially funny in retrospect when you see her reaction to the Clap Your Hands If You Believe part of her mother's reading of Peter Pan.
- A little snippet between Elliot and Michael when they're headed off to school the next day.Michael: Did you explain to him about school?Elliot: How do you explain school to higher intelligence?
- The Uranus Is Showing scene.Tyler: Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?Greg: He doesn't get it, Ty.Tyler: Your anus?Greg: He doesn't get it!Elliot: You have zero charisma!Greg: And you're such a cyno-supremist!Elliot: Zero charisma!Greg: Cyno-supremist!Pretty Girl [unnoticed]: Hi, Elliot.Elliot: Zero charisma!Greg: "You wimp!
- Elliot belching after E.T. chugs a can of Coors.
- The botched frog dissection scene is full of these.
"Run for your life! Back to the river, back to the forest! Run! I gotta save you!"
- It's really subtle and hard to hear, but when Elliott is grabbing his jar with the frog in it, you can hear a kid say "Let's put some chloroform on the teacher."
- When Elliott first releases his frog:
"Back to the river, back to the forest!"
- The way none of the other students try to help or hinder, just sit at their lab tables and chant:
- When he tries to free one big kid's frog, and the boy resists. (That's also the kid he steps on later while kissing the girl.)
- One traumatized pigtailed girl just stands there holding a frog in each hand while chaos erupts around her and two boys heap frogs on her feet.
- Elliott's reenactment of the John Wayne movie E.T. is watching, inspired in part by a pretty girl screaming (because the two prankster boys also put a frog on her shoes) and fleeing for the exit just like the woman in the movie.
- The wistful music playing as the kids dump the frogs out the window and the pretty girl watches Elliot get hauled away. Elliot, you charmer, you!
- Two words: Drunken E.T.
- E.T. laughing (or crying out in disgust?) at the Tom and Jerry cartoon on the TV and throwing a beer can at it. (Everyone's a critic.)
- When poor hungover E.T. gets hit with the refrigerator door.Gertie: Here he is!Mary: Here's who?Gertie: The man from the moon, but I think you've killed him already.
- Gertie is like a walking funny moment. Everywhere she goes something hilarious happens.
- Elliott's reaction to seeing E.T. dressed up."You should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen."
- Gertie and Elliot discussing their plans while overhearing their mother arguing with Michael:Gertie: ...Meet you at the lookout. At the lookout! I'm not stupid, you know!Mary: Listen, buster, you won't get four blocks dressed like that!Michael: Please?Mary: No, and that's final! You are not going as a terrorist!Michael: But all the guys are!Gertie: ...Not stupid, you know.
- It's Halloween and E.T. sees a kid dressed as Yoda... and recognizes him.(waddling after the kid) Home! Home!
- ET trying to heal the "bloody" costume knife through Michael's head, then being knocked over by the camera flash.
- ET crashing the bike after Elliott hopes he won't.
- Elliot tries to keep E.T. concealed after his revival:E.T.: (happily through Elliot's hands) ET phone home! ET phone home! ET phone home!Elliot: (whispering) Will you shut up...!
Keys: You want the flowers?Elliot: (cries out even louder while feigning grief)
- Another snippet from the same scene: Elliot happens to notice the flowers are reviving, though "Keys" doesn't.
- When Elliot tells Michael that E.T. is alive again, he's jumping for joy and beans his head on the door lintel.
- Big brother Michael needs to get his priorities straight.Michael: We're all gonna die and they're never gonna give me my license!
- After the boys steal the van, Mary tries to follow in her car with Gertie. Keys stops them, asking where they're going. Undercut because the answer is all Keys needs to have an Eureka Moment, but it still works.Gertie[as Mary shoves her into the passenger seat and tries to shush her]: To the spaceship! To the spaceship to the... Moon!
- Elliot's shedding the plastic tunnel segment with the two guys in it from the van. After they're cut loose, the guys yell after the van. While the subtitles have the more vocal one yelling "That did it!" one suspects that's not quite what he was saying...
- Greg's being Wrong Genre Savvy:Greg: Can't he just... beam up?Elliot: This Is Reality, Greg.
- Tyler's premature celebration of escaping the government pursuers:(two packs of agents from either side lunge in after him, roaring like angry savages)
- When E.T. makes the bikes fly to save them from the government agents one of the feds just sort of leans back against his car and stares.Greg: Tell me when it's over! squeezes eyes shut
- The boys' expressions when they're coming in for a landing are a hilarious mix of awe, excitement and terror.
Funny / E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial