- Lars, normally a very eloquent speaker in a World of Ham, confronts Lionwhyte in his hideout. Everyone thinks they're gonna get a "The Reason You Suck" Speech. What does Lars give them?Lars: The time has come for you to SHUT THE HELL UP, LIONWHYTE!
Eddie: You still upset about the banner?Lars: Not anymore. I did 300 sit-ups just now to clear my mind.
- Even better when you realise that the reason Lars is so incredibly pissed is because Lionwhyte forces hung up a banner reading 'Welcome Dirtbags', portraying Lars with a rather significant beer belly.
- Some of the reactions as Eddie is about to die, usually after driving to his inevitable death are priceless. In particular, when Ophelia's in the car.Eddie: Wanna make out before we hit the water?Ophelia: In your DREAMMMMMMMMMMS!
Worm: (screams at Eddie)
- Meeting the Lamprey:
Eddie: Ugh! Smells like a whale... ate some cabbage... then died in your mouth... like a year ago!
Doviculus: Come to me once you grow a pair as big as your mother's.(Doviculus leaves.)
- There's Doviculus' line after you win the Tainted Coil stage battle.
- Most of the moments involving the Guardian of Metal:Guardian of Metal: You've interrupted the Guardian of Metal's nap!Guardian of Metal: The Guardian of Metal is getting just a little bit tired of all this.Guardian of Metal: Every time you come back, there's another fucking scratch on that beautiful car!
Guardian of Metal: ...Eddie: (raises eyebrow)Guardian of Metal: ...WHAT IS IT?!
- The one time he seems determined to say nothing...
Guardian of Metal sculpture: "Oh, no, who put this in here?", and when you purchase it, "I hope you're not embarrassed."Ace of Hades paint job: "Oh, I hate puns."Bolt Thrower: "Why don't you make someone else ride your lightning for a change?"Drowned Ophelia sculpture: "Oh, the young ones and their make-up..."Chrome paint job: "Shiiiny!"Second armor augmentation: "Well someone's a little paranoid!"
- Many of the Guardian's store pitches are also hilarious.
Eddie: Okay, I'll be back, covered in Metal God Love!Guardian of Metal: Oh god.
- And Eddie's promise to the Guardian of Metal.
- Watching a Headbanger fish is singularly entertaining. He sees a fish, waves at it, and grabs it in his teeth.
Dad Bat: My ass is getting sunburned.
- Hell, Headbangers in general. Also, Bouncers. "I'm helping!"
- The bat family was pretty funny, too.
Daughter Bat: Oooh, look at all the blood! (flies into cave with brother)Mom Bat: (kisses Eddie on the cheek) Nice to have a man around sometimes.Dad Bat: I HEARD THAT! Oh, by the way, sorry I took a shit on your head, earlier.Eddie: What? When?Dad Bat: Nothing.
- And after beating the secondary mission:
- When Eddie discovers how to use his wings:Eddie: From this new vantage point I can totally see what the problem is. A bunch of gross fan leeches are eating our fans.Lita: We already knew that.Eddie: Silence, ground walker!
- "Ewwww! You are the DEFINITION of Butter Face!"
- "Okay lady, or whatever you are, I'm supposed to think you're a nun, but I know you're really a big ugly demon, so let's have it. (Nun turns around, revealing a face that is nothing but teeth) Aha! Knew it! Big ugly demon! (Nun stands and begins walking seductively towards him) ...Kind of sexy, though, in a weird way. Huh."
- When the Headbangers first hear the gift of Metal.Headbanger #1: Wha-? What is that sound!?Headbanger #2: It's a devil screaming...Headbanger #3: It's an angel singing!Headbanger #2: It is the pounding of creation's hammer upon the anvil of time...Headbanger #1: It's fucking awesome!
- And from the same scene, after Eddie commands the Headbangers to destroy a statue of Lionwhyte...Headbanger #1: Lionwhyte sucks!Headbanger #2: Death to Lionwhyte!
- Eddie and Ophelia. Running across a meadow to a Scorpions ballad. Staring dreamily into each other's eyes. Slaying demons with the world's goofiest smiles on their faces.
- The Ozzy-Osbourne-headed bat.
- "DECAPITATIOOOOOOON!" is extremely funny the first time. Its re-use after Eddie kills Doviculus ramps it Up to Eleven by combining it with a Moment of Awesome.
- He only does it with the Love Giver guitar, but hearing him shout "POWERSLIIIIIIIIIIIDE~!" when he does a...well, Power Slide never fails to get a chuckle.
- He also calls out "ROCKING SOUNDS!" when you use the lightning attacks, "SUCK ON MY SWEET NECTAR!" when you use a strong guitar attack, and when you select the strings, you can hear him sing "LOVE GIVER!!" in various hammy ways.
- The design of the Love Giver has Jack Black and Kyle Gass standing atop a pile of naked women and, ahem, thrusting their hips forward, in which said hips are strategically placed where the guitar neck meets the body. It should also be noted, that Jack Black is placed directly behind Kyle.
- When you highlight it in the shop, the Guardian of Metal will say "SSSEXY."
- Killmaster, due to Kilmeister's deadpan delivery of pretty much everything.(Re: the Spider Queen) But we don't go into her lair any more, lest she bite us in half, suck out our innards, and lay her eggs in our eye-sockets.(Bus is atacked en route to Drowning Doom territory) It's those Brides. I think they're giving us something blue.(During the To The Slaughter mission): That's a hell of a bird you've got there, Eddie.(attacked by Tainted Coil): Demon, I'm warning you!(attacked by Drowning Doom): Fuck off, zombie!
Some bird you got there, Eddie.
- The Spider Queen line has a bonus CMOF. After he says it, the camera cuts back to Lars...while Eddie in the background has the most hilariously horrified look on his face.
- When Ophelia tells Eddie about using the Razorfire boars frames as weapons, it cuts to a shot of her standing up after field-dressing one, holding the frame over her head with a triumphant smirk on her face. The shot then cuts back to Eddie and Killmaster; Eddie is standing there wide-eyed, while Killmaster uses his index finger to slide his sunglasses down his nose before saying
- It's a shame the unit chatter is often obscured by combat noise, because some units drop the funniest lines.Eddie: (enemy avatar flees combat) Buk-buk-bukawk!Headbanger: One point for you? I'm still ahead!Headbanger: What a strange day, huh, fellas?Headbanger: (against Drowning Doom) That's for using a keyboard!Headbanger: Eddie can take care of himself! What about helping me?!Headbanger: Who do you think is hotter, Lita or Ophelia?Bouncer: (near death) Must... keep... punching...Screamwagon: (when given an order) Like I give a shit.Screamwagon: (double team ends) Well, at least he talked to me. Which is more than I can say for you guys.Screamwagon: (double team) Can you help me? I was told I was signing up for a spa day!Skull Raker: (victory) What were they thinking?Grave Digger: (attacking Doviculus) You look like a fork!Grave Digger: (victory) Thank god, those guys were a pain!Bride: (move order) Okay, let's walk in order of height!
- Some good Eddie lines:I'm the wiener, you're the bun, get over here and lets have fun.Everything in that general direction must die!(Attacking a mortar operator) Hey! Knock it off with the cannon! (To which the Bouncer controlling it will reply: "I'm just following orders!/It's my calling!")(Using the Face Melter) Bet you wished you wore a bib cause now you've got face all over your shirt!(Using Bring It On Home) That pilot is gonna lose his job. Alternatively: Oh no! The metal gods still use hydrogen!Come, morning sun, and vanquish my enemies as I enjoy eggs and bacon!(Summoning the Druidplow) Did someone wash you? (Especially great if the last you saw of it was it plummeting off a cliff.)Eddie: (Upon finding a headbanger puking and another comforting him) Make sure you pull his hair back.Headbanger: It's a little too late for that.
- At the party on the beach, you help a headbanger win a girl's heart. When you complete the mission, they can be seen making out. Interacting with them will make Eddie say things like:It's love in the age of Metal.Kind of creepy of me to be staring at this for so long.Wonder what Ophelia's doing right now...
- This line here:Eddie: Dude, how about this? How about you take off your fucking diaper, lay down your little baby foo-foo, and go do your fucking job right now?Mangus: Dude, not cool! I wear this thing so I don't have to stop the bus to take a leak!
- From the intro:Eddie: (as "Girlfriend" is playing) I can fix anything...except THAT.Roadie: Metal is dead.
Eddie: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CLIMB ON THAT, YOU STUPID MOTHER —
- The buildup to the trainwreck that is "Girlfriend" is golden too. After seeing Kabbage Boy talk for less than a minute you get to hear their music and it starts off with promising guitar work, but then the camera switches to Eddie with a grimace on his face because he knows what's about to happen and at the end of the buildup the lead singer hits that generic pop song "OOOOOH", the records start scratching and you come to the same conclusion as the other Roadie. Metal is dead.
- And who could possibly forget this?
(message appears asking if the player wants swearing censored)
->[I wanna hear every nasty syllable.]
[It's funnier if they're bleeped out.]
Eddie: — FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Eddie: #@&-kickers, unite!
- Bonus points: the band member he is referring to was doing Raz's stupid hand-dance thing and is even voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz.
- There's something amusing about censoring the swearing as the game says. You're playing a game that takes place in a gritty world of heavy metal... and it's being censored?! Did Hell freeze over?
- Lars being rather skeptical of Eddie's plan to recruit the Headbangers.Lars: What do you do with a bunch of kids who can't do anything but bang their heads all day?Eddie: (tears forming) You start a revolution, Lars. Right now! It's time to sound the battle cry!Lars: Have you... been looking at my sword?Eddie: (glances downward quickly, then back up as Lars pulls out his sword)
- When you sneak up on the two Hair Bangers controlling the impalers in the Cleave of the Impalement, you can overhear them talking about their styling in terms of... "performance."
- Putting Doviculus behind the mike in Stage Battles.
- This:An Amazon: Would you like to have intercourse?Eddie: Maybe later.
- "Start a revolution! [NOW] [LATER]"
Baron: Tell me you're joking!Tell him you're serious. [NOW] [LATER]
- Many of the mission start screens.
- Eddie's Sophisticated as Hell prayer that he uses to get the Overblesser moving at the Temple of Ormagöden.
- And then when he reaches the bottom of the ramp: "By your good graces- (off-screen roar) I mean evil! Evil graces!(Overblesser falls over) Ah, son of a...!"
- Lars telling Eddie about the Kill Master.Lars: He chooses that name to scare off intruders. And to protect his flock. Of giant spiders.Eddie: *Best facial expression in the game*
Killmaster: But we don't go into her lair anymore... Lest she bite us in half, suck out our innards, and lay her eggs in our eye sockets.Eddie: *Best facial expression in the game part two*
- He gets an even more horrified expression when he realizes he's going to have to go the the lair of the Metal Queen right after Killmaster describes why they don't harvest strings from there anymore
- Eddie also awkwardly backs away when Lars and Lita's argument over if they should save Ophelia or not turns into a heated family argument with a similar look on his face.
- The entire scene where the Zaulia have trapped Lita, The Baron, and Eddie into a burning cage.Eddie: The fire's not spreading! It's just an illusion.
The Baron: After all the fires I've set in my life, don't you think dying here is a little ironic?
- The naming of Ironheade:Eddie: All right now, everybody listen up! In honor of you guys, we're calling this new army 'Ironheade'. [beat] With an e on the end, so people know we're not messing around!Headbanger #1: Ironheade!Headbanger #2: I like it!Headbanger #3: Right on! [beat] I don't get it...
- Turning gore effects off generally just causes bodies to stay in one piece when killed, but certain cutscenes instead just cover the offending content with an extremely conspicuous "Parental advisory content" Censor Box.
Funny / Brütal Legend