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Funny / Advice and Trust

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  • In chapter 2 Asuka opens the bathroom's door and finds... A zombie! Oh, wait, it's not a zombie. It's Misato having a hangover.
  • Also in that chapter, Shinji gets so distracted when he sees Asuka that he smashes his toe against the table's leg. Fortunately he managed not spilling the contents of the tray that he was carrying.
  • Talking to Hikari:
    Asuka waved her concern away. "It's fine, he's gone and forgotten. Tomorrow I won't even remember his name. So much for him being a 'dashing older student' like you said. He was just a selfish jerk out for a cheap feel, not anything like a real good man, like Kaji-san or S—" Asuka suddenly coughed violently and covered her mouth. 'Crap! You idiot! That was close!'
    "Or who?" Hikari asked.
    "Ssssssschelbert-san. Guy I knew in Berlin. Nice guy, very... er... tall. You don't know him,"
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  • In chapter 4 Shinji has just scored with Asuka, and he is so happy he is humming and dancing while he makes breakfast.
  • In that same chapter, Shinji thinks no one can see him and Asuka having a civil conversation because then everyone would find it suspicious.
  • Also in chapter 4, Rei has a very peculiar way to describe old battles and joint trainings:
    His account of what happened after the battle against the Fifth: "Since after the Fifth Angel, when he forced open my armor with his blade and burst into my Entry Plug. No one else had ever gotten to my core with such need. He was urgent and forceful. It... made me smile." The faintest hints of such an expression appeared on Rei's lips. "I would like to do it again. Maybe more than once."
  • And then we have the next exchange:
    Tanaka: "Is... is she talking about-"
    Asuka (shouting and blushing): "NO,"
    Tanaka: "Um...right. Nothing improper! Perish the thought! Ikari-kun is a perfectly responsible young man! He'd never do anything indecent with you!"
    Asuka (bristling): "What do you mean he wouldn't do anything with me?! I'm the most beautiful girl he knows! He'd do anything he could with me, all night long, and beg for more!"
    The only sound in their corner of the schoolyard was the gentle click of Rei's chopsticks against the bottom of her bento and the 'caw, caw' of a lone crow passing overhead. Shinji buried his face in his hands.
    Asuka: "That didn't just happen and none of you remember anything. Or I will scoop out your brains and make a pie, understood?"
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  • Rei asks Asuka if she cares for Shinji... prompting this reaction:
    Rei: “You care about Ikari-kun?”
    Asuka: ‘Red Alert! Red Alert! Top secret information threatened! Deploying bullshit deflectors!’
  • In chapter 5... Rei discovers boys. May God protect us.
  • Shinji and Asuka actually schedule their fights and arguments so nobody suspects anything.
  • Also in chapter 5 deduces her friends are in a Secret Relationship. Hurt, she wonders why they are keeping it from her, since they should know she is good at keeping secrets... and then she realizes if they knew she was keeping secrets then she would not be good at keeping them.
    Rei settled back into her seat. Her friends were... keeping secrets. Secrets that they feared would result in loss if exposed. She felt slightly hurt that they had not confided in her. Was she not their friend too? A fellow Pilot? Did they not have bonds of shared danger and experience? She understood from her reading that such bonds were supposed to be very strong. Did they fear she would tell? Were they unaware of how good she was at keeping secrets?
    'Of course they are unaware. If they were aware of how well I kept secrets, they would know them, thus disproving the assertation,' Rei thought with more amusement than she was even capable of a few weeks ago.
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  • Chapter 5 gave us this gem of an exchange:
    "Envious?! Are you fucking with me, Wondergirl?"
    "I am not 'fucking with you', Pilot Soryu. That is Ikari-kun's job."
    The distant cry of an ice cream salesman was the only sound in their small side street for a long minute.
  • After learning about concepts such like Double Entendre, humor and sarcasm, Rei becomes a Mistress of Trolling. In chapter 6 she starts the unleashing of her power...
    • In front of a pack of girls Rei tells Kensuke that she needs his assistance with an experiment in such a way that all girls became convinced that Kensuke was some kind of stud and started to hound him.
    • Shortly after Rei says Shinji and Asuka are having sex in front of Toji and Hikari... and both teenagers think she is joking:
    Asuka rolled her eyes at him. "You're our friends and need our support right now, and this is serious NERV business. Shinji and I are more than mature enough to stop fussing and focus when it's important."
    Behind them, Rei quietly said, "Mature? As soon as no one's looking they're constantly making out, really. They're like bonobos on Spring Break. Nothing but 'whumpa, whumpa, whumpa' all the time." There was no change in her usual perfectly deadpan tone.
    Shinji and Asuka froze. 'Oh Holy shit! Rei, what happened to keeping that secret?!' Shinji thought frantically. Touji and Hikari gaped in shock for a moment before exploding into laughter.
  • In chapter 8 Gendo requires to talk Shinji and Asuka again. A fan wondered how badly Gendo messed up this time: "Should we make a poll on how badly Gendo is going to handle the coming situation? Choices will range from 'Slight fuck-up' to 'Send Dummy Plugs against Zeruel.'"
    • And the best part? That last option is what Gendo actually did.
  • This is how Asuka thinks of Gendo's office and Gendo himself:
    'I'm getting pretty tired of this creepy damn office and it's creepy damn inhabitant,' Asuka thought to herself as they were frogmarched in by the severely taciturn Section 2 goons that had picked them up. 'Kabbalistic diagrams in the floor and ceiling, overuse of black and red in the decor, making us stand 40m from his fricking desk... is the world's most powerful emo goth wannabe afraid we'll give him cooties if we stand too close, or just notice that his desk is covered in bad poetry and porn?'
  • When Shinji & Asuka are piloting Unit-03 (which has Hikari inside its Core at the moment) against Zeruel, how does Asuka discover Hikari is there and 'listening' in? When Asuka lets her mind stray to her & Shinji's secret relationship - including a rather active sex life - the link to the Eva felt like it buzzed with shock and blushing embarrassment... and then became eagerly inquisitive.
  • Asuka's scheme to let Misato know they are together AND are sleeping together and they are not stopping involves Strip Chess, foot massages and role-swapping. It is even more hilarious than it sounds.
  • Gendo Ikari. Heart-broken widower. Horrible father. Manipulative bastard. And child-scarer.
    Gendo:"I'm going to go question the Fourth Child again. She has to know something more than she's said."
    Fuyutsuki:"Is that wise, Ikari? [...] You managed to terrify the poor girl into silence in just 15 minutes last time."
  • Ritsuko calling Gendo "motherfucker" in chapter 8. As a commenter noted: "You would know, right Rits?"
  • Maya interrupting Ritsuko and Rei's heart-to-heart:
  • Maya's reaction at seeing Ritsuko in a swimsuit.
  • Shinji's sheer incredulity at the fact that Rei is visibly pissed.
    I am not seeing this, because it is impossible. Rei does not get angry and stomp around. I must be mistaken.
    • And later, at the fact that she slapped Kaworu.
    Nope. I must be wrong. Rei did not drag the new transfer student off somewhere and slap him. Not our Rei. That… can’t be it.
  • Shinji and Asuka's inability to process the fact that Kensuke has two girlfriends, and it was the girls' idea.
  • After telling Shinji and Asuka that they can continue sleeping together as long as they don't have sex until Asuka turns 15... Misato instantly beelines probing up the details about their sex life.
    Misato: "So... does he 'berserk' in bed?"
    Asuka: "What?!"
    Misato: "You've been 'entangling your AT-Fields' for weeks. Having fun? Enjoy 'firing the Positron Cannon'?"
    Asuka:''"Misato, what the Hell happened to 'we're too young for this'?!"
    Misato: "The cat's out of the bag, we just finished the official business part, and now it's time for your big sis Misato to embarrass the Hell out of you both. I get my payback."
  • Maya and Ritsuko using the MAGI change log to flirt with each other. It later develops into phone sex.
  • Despite her hostile attitude, Rei's interactions with Kaworu can come across as this, especially when she quotes The Princess Bride at him.
    Rei: Good evening, Nagisa. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
    • It gets even funnier when Kaworu turns the tables on her in the same manner.
    Rei: You will leave now.
    Kaworu: As you wish.
    Rei: What was that?
    Kaworu: I am doing as you said. Is there something wrong?
    Rei: Are you...quoting at me?
    • He tries doing it again later... and gets a Death Glare for his troubles.
  • Kaworu getting a Raging Stiffie from Rei yelling at him.
    Rei: “I have slapped you, yelled at you, and I threaten to kill you in practically every conversation we have ever had, and this turns you on?”
  • Kaworu tries asking Rei to be his girlfriend because emotions help repress the call. This goes about as well as you would expect.
  • During a conversation with Hikari and Kaworu, Rei uses a sheet of paper to give the latter guidance and warnings.
    • As the conversation continues, she underlines different parts of it for emphasis. By the end, the last part has been underlined three times.
  • Rei and Hikari discussing birthday presents:
    Rei: I am giving Asuka some lip gloss tomorrow.
    Hikari: Your best friend, and all you're getting her for her birthday is a tube of lip gloss?
  • In a more meta example, Strypgia was so intent to make sure that the Asuka Birthday segment went out on the 666th page of the Sufficient Velocity thread that he locked it on that page until he finished writing.
  • Kaworu asking Shinji to teach him how to masturbate.
  • The very first line of Chapter 10.5:
    • Meta example from the same chapter. When Rei falls unconscious from her clones being destroyed, Shinji and Kawrou ride with her to Geofront. Kawrou looks as if he wants to hold Rei's hand on the way, and Shinji tries to assure him that she wouldn't mind. As one commenter put it:
    "Well, it's a step up from how Shinji usually treats comatose girls (I'll see myself out...)"
  • Asuka's reaction to learning that in multiple alternate timelines, Shinji and Kaworu are a couple.


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