"'Mwahahaha, I am the splooge master' says Heinz Doofensplooge, cackling evilly in his basement full of splooge."
WORST FANFICTION EVER WRITTEN, also known as Fanfiction Worse Than Chris Chan's Greatest Imagination or simply Terrible Fanfiction, is a Crossover Troll Fic written on a live stream
by YouTuber iRDM. During the stream, he had to write a fanfic while continuously typing with no breaks, accepting suggestions from chat, and periodically spinning a wheel with effects that would make writing harder, such as disabling the backspace key. The finished product can be heard read by iRDM in this video.
In the year 3944 Million AD, Heinz Doofenshmirtz has cursed the world with a lack of hair and Christmas Gifts in order to teach them "the meaning of happiness." Barack Obama, Peter Griffin, and George Flower (a member of iRDM's Discord Server) must stop Doofenshmirtz because "people should not be bald mr doofenshmirtz."
And then WORST FANFICTION EVER WRITTEN provided examples all over the place. Clearly. This was bad for the environment.
- Audience Participation: The Fanfic was written on a livestream where iRDM was forced to accept chat suggestions. In addition, many of the effects on the wheel he had to spin were submitted by members of his Discord server.
- Back from the Dead: George Flower warps time to return from the dead and save his friends. Later Terezi, through the power of love, returns from the grave followed by various others such as Technoblade and George Washington.
- Crack Fic: Absolute insanity from start to finish.
- Crossover: Features characters from Phineas and Ferb, Family Guy, and more.
- Downer Ending: Ends with everyone on the planet dying.
- "Everybody Dies" Ending: A cat with a Grenade blows everyone up. The End.
- Evil Doppelgänger: Evil versions of everyone appear from inside the cartoonishly large mustard bottle.
- Evil Laugh: Heinz Doofensplooge lets one out after declaring himself the Splooge Master.
- Extra Parent Conception: The Doofenshmirtz-Backspace Key hybrid baby that Doofenshmirtz gives birth to is technically the child of Barack Obama and the Backspace Key. If the fact that it was given birth to by Doofenshmirtz due to one of his Inators is considered, one could consider the Inator a fourth parent.
- Half-Human Hybrid: The Human-Backspace Key Hybrid Doofenshmirtz gives birth to. Not a Heinz Hybrid, though, despite the name.
- Hot Skitty-on-Wailord Action: Barack Obama has a child with the Backspace Key from iRDM's computer. Potentially justified as the child was created by an Inator to make Doofenshmirtz pregnant, so no physical conception needed to occur.
- How the Character Stole Christmas: Doofenshmirtz takes all of the Christmas presents in the world. And hair.
- Incessant Music Madness: Heinz snaps at Dwayne Johnson for singing Call Me Maybe, which Dwayne apparently does often.
- Instant Birth: Just Add Labor!: Doofenshmirtz gives birth very quickly.
- Instant Illness: Terezi and George Flower fall to the ground stricken with symptoms only seconds after contracting Ligma.
- It Was a Dark and Stormy Night: The story proper opens with this line.
- Longest Pregnancy Ever: Inverted. Doofehsmirtz gives birth almost immediately after being impregnated by his Inator.
- Magic Antidote: Obama has one for Terezi and George's Ligma, but it is stolen by Dwayne Johnson.
- Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Characters from Homestuck, Family Guy, Phineas and Ferb, The Incredibles, Meet the Robinsons, Batman, Plants vs. Zombies, and more appear.
- Mister Seahorse: Doofenshmirtz after his "Baby Create Insid a Man Inator" activates uncontrollably. Also Evil George Flower when the original George Flower warps time to be born from the former so he can save his friends. And everyone involved in the Infinite Cycle of Man Birth.
- My Significance Sense Is Tingling: A sleeping Barack Obama can "smell it in his bones. And even his forehead." when Heinz Doofensplooge declares himself the Splooge Master.
- Mystical Pregnancy: Doofenshmirtz becomes pregnant with Obama and Backspace Key's child due to one of his inators.
- Not Actually His Child: The child Doofenshmirtz gives birth to belongs to Obama and Backspace Key, not him.
- Prematurely Bald: Doofenshmirtz inflicts this on everyone in the world.
- Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies: A cat with a Grenade named Ko blows up everyone. Everyone.
- Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale: The fanfic is stated to take place in the year 3944 Million.
- Soft Glass: Backspace Key bursts through a window to announce that Obama is the mother of its child.
- Stylistic Suck
- Super Window Jump: How Backspace Key enters the scene.
- Surprisingly Sudden Death: All of Obama's "fellow bros" are immediately killed upon the entrance of Freddy Fazbear.
- Troll Fic: The Fanfic is written with zero attempt at quality.
