Darth Wiki / Screw You Heroes

"Things like heroes are unnecessary."

— Touma Kamijou, A Certain Magical Index

The greatest comic never made by Dookie, the Dumbest Smartass In The Universe(TM). One day, Dookie and some friends decided to make a Deconstruction of shonen fighting anime. And so he came up with this and decided to spare the world a gruesome fate. It wasn't much of a Deconstruction but it sure was funny. It may plausibly become a webcomic.

A child asks his father why there are no superheroes anymore and he got... this. This load of BS about how an extraordinarily powerful teen who, By the Power of Grayskull! and his Puberty Superpower, managed to blow all costumed superheroes out of existence. Yay.

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Characters:

• Dad
• Kid, an awfully curious child who got the bedtime story of his life.
• The unnamed hero: One day he woke up to find that he had a single pubic hair and could now set things spontaneously on fire. Hilarity Ensues.
• Oberon, the resident vigilante who loves to piss off the official superhero of the Big City, Citizenman. Also has the same superpower as the hero, but is pissed off at the hero for trying to take his job.
• Titania, Oberon's longtime childhood friend and the closest thing he has to a maternal figure (Oberon's own mother is blissfully ignorant of his "fun").
• Big Daddy-The mysterious Big Bad who is always cloaked in shadow and wears a horned helmet with a massive and apparently functioning eyeball on it despite the fact it would make him vulnerable. He wants the hero and Oberon dead for unclear reasons. Loves a good Evil Plan.
• Repairman, one of Big Daddy's servants who is in charge of Big Daddy's petty crimes division, known as the League of Not-Nice People, to avoid association with Big Daddy. He is a pathetic weakling who comes across the opportunity of his lifetime when he runs into the hero. He dresses like a repairman but can't repair crap, so he destroys it instead. His crew in the petty crimes division:
  • Nuclear Baby, an adult who looks like a baby that happens to shoot radiation around. Generally a pickpocket. The Scrappy of the League of Not-Nice People, which is expressed in Repairman's constant punishment of him.
  • The Monster Clown, a mercenary that doesn't talk much. He wears a mask with a smiley face on it at all times to hide his actual facial expression as part of some strange superstition of his. It's speculated that he's just plain ugly.
  • SUPAChicken, Repairman's animal sidekick and close confidant. Can shoop da whoop fire lasers from his beak.
  • Robomaster, a robotic superweapon originally built during the Cold War by a bunch of conspiracy theorists with spare time on their hands to annihilate humanity so that humanity would not suffer from a nuclear war. Scrapped when he developed a heart. A white elephant in that he's too overly emotional for violence, so he's the League's political insider.
• Citizenman, the Big City's local superhero with the power of great citizenship. He has voted in every election in the Big City ever and has a 99.9% approval rating as resident superhero. Who's the 0.1% you ask? Actual superheroes who kindly point out that he's done nothing.
• I'm not giving out any more spoilers, so I'm not giving out any more characters.

This Work Displays Examples of the Following Tropes:

• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Robomaster, who also wangsts about this.
• Anti-Hero: Parodied with Oberon.
• Anti-Villain: Robomaster, also Repairman to an extent.
• Artistic License – Nuclear Physics: Nuclear Baby, especially his radiation-based attacks.
• Artistic License – Physics: Lampshaded constantly.
• Badass Normal: Citizenman thinks he is this. Hilarity Ensues.
• Bumbling Dad: The dad.
• City of Adventure: The Big City, which is actually a city-state.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Nuclear Baby often drops one when insecure.
• The Comically Serious: Titania and the hero.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: Big Daddy loves doing this to failures. However, it's usually cool, cruel, and unusual punishment.
• Cool Sword: An Informed Ability of Oberon in that he always carries the sword but never uses it.
• Creator Breakdown: The dad is depressed one day which leads to...
• Darker and Edgier: One chapter, in TOTAL contrast to everything else. Nah. Actually, it's subverted in that the usual color scheme of the comic becomes grayscale with a gray filter over it making it literally Darker and Edgier.
• Eldritch Abomination: Big Daddy's heavily implied to be one but nothing is ever confirmed, as he is never actually seen in full.
• Expy: Do I have to spell them out?
• Faux Action Girl: Subverted. Titania is implied to be one and then turns out to be the genuine thing.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Citizenman, who really means well despite being hopelessly delusional about his own abilities and obnoxiously pedantic.
• McGuffin: The Helm of the Fallen, which is a literal Hero Ball. Lampshaded and proves useless, to the hero's consternation.
• Meaningful Name: Oberon and Titania. What Shakespeare play is that from?
• The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: Big Daddy's recurring unnamed but very creepy associates.
• Parody Sue: Oberon's a parody of a Jerkass Stu.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: Oberon (blue) and the hero (red).
• Ridiculously Human Robot: Parodied with Robomaster in that he acts so human he's overdoing it, but, in fact, has the appearance of a brutal killing machine despite being pretty harmless.
• The Rival: Oberon to the hero.
• There are two rules in the world:
  • Rule of Cool (Everything having to do with Oberon and Big Daddy)
  • Rule of Funny (Everything else)
• Sealed Evil in a Can: Big Daddy's punishment of choice.
• Shout-Out: Plenty to Dragon Ball Z.
• Sorting Algorithm of Evil: Lampshaded and mostly averted once Big Daddy realizes it. Then played straight and justified when Big Daddy sends his weakest fighters out first so he can watch them suffer and send out his strong fighters after they fail.
• Storming the Castle: The hero's MO. Oberon does not approve.
• Straight Man: The hero.
• Super Mode: Bears no similarity to Super Saiyans.
• Super-Powered Robot Meter Maids: Inverted with Robomaster, who is a military robot who has surprisingly few weapons but lots of things useful in nonmilitary situations, like housekeeping or political coverups. Averted with other robots that appear who generally stick to the purpose they were built for.
• Supervillain Lair: There are quite a few, but a recurring one is the League of Not-Nice people's lair, hideously underfunded by Big Daddy, and complete with an Insecurity System.
• To Be a Master: The hero's quest in life. Eventually he lampshades the more inane aspects of this trope.
• The Unintelligible: SUPAChicken.
• Wangst: Oberon does it daily.
• What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Literally with Robomaster, but it also applies to Citizenman, who is Blessed with Suck but is too full of himself to realize it.
• What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Subverted. Nonhumans aren't arbitrarily swept aside, but Robomaster suspects that this is true and this leads to his being incredibly paranoid on missions, one of the reasons why he is epic fail as a combat robot.
• You Have Failed Me: Subverted. The exact phrase is uttered by both Repairman and Big Daddy but no one is ever executed on the spot.