Superpower Lottery in a School Setting

Exactly. It sure had a lot of holes so it only works a few times.

Oddly enough, I was able to devise battle flows for class league battles later in the story.

• vs Class 7: Emperor Manny Barias used his Power Field to disable Class 3's abilities and double their physical strength for 10 minutes. However, he actually miscalculated on the expected duration and the Power Field only lasted for 5 minutes because he forgot to take into account that the Power Field also doubles Class 3's physical strengths. He ran out of TP, but surprisingly, Class 3 was able to defeat the physically stronger Class 7 even without the use of their powers due to the Power Field nullifying their abilities. Now Class 3 got their abilities back, Class 7 has nowhere to run, and therefore Manny is forced to fight fellow emperor Ayame in a one-on-one fight.
• Manny vs Ayame: How does somebody with Elemental Powers gain an upper hand against a Bare-Fisted Monk? I thought of something like "Monk can punch out rocks and ice but not fire."
• vs Class 4: This battle was a rather good team-up between Pedro and his roommate Aaron. Pedro could not nullify Hee Shin Kang's robots with his Null Field because he has to conserve his TP, so he has no choice but to punch them all out. However, Pedro is cornered when Hee Shin decides to Zerg Rush him with her bots, until Aaron made a magnet out of his alchemy powers to suck in her bots. Then Kang released her trump card: Mosquito bots that inject a paralyzing virus into its victims. Unfortunately for Kang, Pedro can disable the virus with his Null Field, so it doesn't matter if she Zerg Rushes Pedro and Aaron with her mosquito bots as long as they're immune to the virus. GG.
• vs Class 1: Class 3 was having a hard time with them because they were horribly overpowered. And that's when Pedro managed to break out of Chang's telekinetic powers for the first time.
  • The battles I had against Emperors gave me the necessary things to cancel your powers without relying on my Null Field. My battle with Manny taught me to strengthen my body so I could react to your power. My battle with Gabrielle taught me to strengthen my spirit so I could resist your power. My battle with Indira taught me to strengthen my mind so you could not use your power to control my body. Those battles are the reason you can no longer use your powers on me!
  • This reveals another of Chang's limiting conditions. He cannot use his powers to move opponents without touching them if said opponent can resist it.
  • But, it turns out Chang became stronger as well, as it was his second battle with Pedro. The first one was when Pedro fought Chang in Ayame's place when she went out of commission for the final round of the Emperors' Cup. This one I haven't thought out yet.
• I found out that my plot is lacking a Tsundere. I'm against making Ayame a Tsundere because I have already written her as a Yamato Nadeshiko. And also, I'm getting tired of Tsunderes always winning the romance battles so it's about time the Kuudere archetype wins the romance battle. But sadly, I wasn't able to think of potential love rivals for Ayame and Pedro because I'm so focused at thinking out awesome battles. Maybe I watched way too much of The Law Of Ueki.

edited 28th Aug '12 4:00:16 AM by judasmartel

Hmm... I can't really see how your battles flow yet. They seem simple, but of course there's lots of little details I'm not privy to. So I guess I'll ask for some points; again, in order:

• I don't know what Power Field does, so I don't know why Manny miscalculated the duration or the effect on the Class 3 students (sounds like something he should have known about).
• Similar point as above: surely Manny would have already figured out how to counteract the inherent weaknesses of his fighting style?
• Does Pedro's Null Field completely disable the robot or does it merely removes the controller's influence? How come it can disable the virus too? Is the virus the result of an ability? If it is, how did the Emperor get a hold of that, seeing as his powers are tech-based?
  • I also imagined that a robot master would be the sneaky type that hides while his bots do the dirty work. Like he's playing an RTS.
  • This battle also reminds me too much of that one battle in Railgun.
  • It also seems too simple, too. Something like a magnet is easily overcome.
  • Wow I have a lot of comments for this one. My fondness for robots strikes again!
• Nothing actually, as this would depend mostly on execution.
• Do you really need a tsundere? Other types of girls would be okay too. Especially those that don't really fall into any archetype.

• About Kang: Null Field cannot disable her bots, but it can disable any effects that she inflicts on her opponents because she does not use her powers to influence her bots when using it to paralyze her opponents. The only ways to make the bots disappear are to defeat the controller or if the controller decides to disengage them.
  • Re: Railgun: That battle against Baba Yoshio? You bet!
• Re: Elemental Powers vs Bare-Fisted Monk: Manny ran out of TP, his guys are down and he's completely surrounded by Class 3's power users so he had no choice but to engage them in battle without his powers, but Pedro offered him an Emperor battle against Ayame, which he accepted. Note that while his Power Field disabled Class 3 and Class 7's abilities, but also doubled the physical power of everyone in range (Class 3 + Class 7). Now that the Power Field has been disengaged, Class 3 got their powers back, but Class 7 will get theirs back, as well, as soon as they wake up.
• Lower-tier opponents: There's a Level 3 opponent who can change her form into anyone she had touched, and can transfer her pain into the original. That was quite effective to break Pedro, until she ran out of TP as well. Quite honestly, though, I can't think of an early individual or small team battle which involves Pedro since he's at the bottom of the food chain.
• Power Levels: I've made up 6 levels, similar to that of To Aru Majutsu No Index, but they have names instead of something like "Level 5":
  • Emperor ~ Level 5
  • Tribune ~ Level 4. Aaron is one.
  • Decurion ~ Level 3
  • Centurion ~ Level 2
  • Soldier ~ Level 1
  • Flag-bearer or simply Flag ~ Level 0. Pedro starts off as this.
  • One thing that troubles me is about how to explain effectively how Pedro gains the Light Field in place of his Null Field. Long Shen received the Darkness Field in place of his Null Field. It has something to do with character (not necessarily GMRC as a school subject), but character is not something a computer can measure, right?
• Thank you for that reassuring message about girls. But I'm still lacking a Hot-Blooded girl. Hee Shin Kang is one, but unless I can write her as part of the main cast... What do you think about writing Pedro's childhood friend with a personality similar to Keiko Yukimura or Ai Mori?

edited 28th Aug '12 7:38:23 PM by judasmartel

• ... I don't think I quite understood the thing about Kang. Null Field can nullify what the robots can do? Huh? When Kang is not controlling them? ???
• I already know that about Manny's battle, my criticism was that it's too simple. How did Manny, for example, manage to overlook the fact that his ability would also power up the opposing class? How did he miscalculate the duration? One would think he would know a lot about his own ability. It seems less "Class 3 outwits Pedro" and more "Manny is not very good at tactics". You might want to explain what Power Field does, exactly— don't rely on the blue links!
• Lower-tier opponents: Class reps, bullies, fellow bottom-feeders or even people academically stronger but weak in battle.
• Power levels look good.
• I was actually wondering about the Discard and Draw too. It's really hard to justify, and it feels like it will come out of nowhere, giving Pedro (and Long Shen) a new ability just because.
• ? You need a hot-blooded girl in your story?

• Manny only knew that the physical power-up only affects his allies. He did not know that it also affected their opponents, and that caused the Power Field to last much shorter than he expected. He thought that only the ability nullification effect affected their opponents.
• Not necessarily a Hot-Blooded girl. I was wondering if a Tsundere girl is a staple of action stories, otherwise I would have to watch something like Accel World or Mx0 to find out. I thought of writing Pedro's childhood friend based on this archetype, but at the same time incorporating the usual traits of a modern Filipina teenager. Our girls are known as Type B's: nice to everyone, rude to the guy they like. As I have mentioned, I'm thinking along the lines of Keiko Yukimura.
• Speaking of Discard and Draw, I wonder if something like "vote of confidence" could work in this setting since number of "votes" is something a computer can measure.

edited 29th Aug '12 7:47:22 PM by judasmartel

• Then that kinda implies that Manny doesn't have a lot of battle experience.
• There's really no need to put a "staple" into a work. Just put whatever girl you like in there.
• Re: Discard and Draw That actually works, yeah.

• Either he's Unskilled, but Strong, or Manny simply haven't worked out the kinks of his ability yet. So maybe, either I write Pedro as an already formidable close-quarters combatant who gained his fighting experience from slugging it out with thugs and local bullies ever since he was a kid (he's a teen rebel, after all), or have somebody refine his fighting skills a bit through formal martial arts training from, I dunno, maybe an upperclassman who's a stronger physical fighter than Manny? Or both! That way, I could have somebody take the role of a Big Brother Mentor to Pedro.

edited 30th Aug '12 3:53:44 AM by judasmartel

Still kinda weird for an Emperor to not know what his ability entails, though.

Maybe... you can just have him rely mostly on his (enhanced) physical capabilities? Power Field could be his secret move that he uses once in a blue moon, which could be why he doesn't know how to use it properly.

Martial arts training for Pedro would be good, since Pedro will really have to rely on his body.

Alright! I got it. I could still get Manny to train Pedro in martial arts, since he's the kind of guy who thinks that his new gift is lame when in fact it could be so awesome he could even use it for everyday training!

Sure, Power Field simply enhances his physical abilities, but to be fair, he only discovered that he could extend Power Field's range and nullify the abilities of anyone in sight just before Class 7's battle with Class 3, since he often uses it only to enhance his own physical strength.

edited 31st Aug '12 12:58:41 AM by judasmartel

Oh, Manny will train Pedro? Sounds like Defeat Means Friendship~

Re: Power Field Oh wow, you can play that for laughs. Have Manny figure out a "trump card" and then it turns out to be the reason they lose. XD

Thanks about Manny.

EDIT: Turns out the MC of Gun X Clover is actually an Almighty Janitor.

edited 2nd Sep '12 12:04:39 AM by judasmartel

Just keep in mind that MXO was tragically cut short and so the last three or four chapters are massively disappointing as an ending.

Oh, thanks for that info. Too bad, then. Just wanted to know how Taiga uses his Anti-Magic card in battle.

@Gun X Clover Stopped reading after the first chapter, as the female lead just reminds me of Sensui.

edited 2nd Sep '12 12:08:17 AM by judasmartel

Taiga starts out as a complete non-mage, mind you. He gets by with bluffs, wits and willpower.

Anti-magic comes a good way into the story (30? 40 chapters? Not sure) but when Taiga gets it... my oh my. MXO simply had some of the most enjoyable battles I've seen in shonen, because of how tactical the lead is. Err, anyway, the anti-magic. It's a very interesting look at how anti-magic works, because unlike Touma's he can't just negate something in a snap.

Now, I've heard about the Kokorogate incident and I had this idea while I was searching for ideas on when to reveal Null Field's Anti-Magic properties.

I have two scenarios:

• Aaron wasn't so pleased about a dimwit like Pedro actually getting into this elite school at first, so he decided to trick him by feeding him with the wrong study material he didn't notice was actually wrong (and he won't be able to get further help because he's basically an outcast so no one else but Ayame could help her, but too bad he's too shy to ask for her help on the test). But then, Pedro found out everything given to him in preparation for the test was wrong and he went berserk. Cue him challenging Aaron into a Test Battle when he doesn't even have the TP to do so, and he doesn't even know what the Null Field could do. I'm thinking of placing this before or after Pedro's first meeting with Manny.
• A group of bullies tricking another student to do ridiculous things for them in exchange for admitting hir into their group (Not sure if I could use a Girl Posse to try bullying either Ayame or another gullible high-ranker student here). Said high-ranker just happened to meet Pedro before he knew any of this happened. When Pedro did know though, he challenged all of the bullies into a Test Battle without even knowing how exactly does his Null Field ability work.

In either case, I'm thinking of revealing Null Field's effects somewhere within this arc, particularly when he's on the edge and he still has to fight a much stronger opponent later on. But revealing it too early or too late could make The Reveal look like an Ass Pull.

So, what do you think?

edited 3rd Sep '12 4:59:08 AM by judasmartel

Hmmm... hard to pick, as both choices are interesting ideas. I would say that the latter looks like it's set earlier in the story than in the former (could even work as the pilot, in fact— if we're talking about Ayame, then this situation can show her whom her true friends are). Pedro's closeness to Ayame could also be another point of annoyance for Aaron... anyway, just a suggestion, because honestly there are loads of other ways for the story to develop. I would definitely think about emphasizing on Ayame instead of Aaron, as Ayame is the more important character. I think.

I suppose you can think about it this way:

• Do you want both of these events in your story?
  • If yes, then which one comes first?

Then work it out from there.

Re: reveal You can also try inserting some foreshadowing. (When are you planning to reveal Null Field anyway? Second chapter? Second arc (whatever that means)?)

edited 3rd Sep '12 5:35:57 AM by fillerdude

I would like to reveal it midway through Pedro's Bully Hunter arc so that he could fight as a Badass Normal for about 15-25% of the story. That's before fighting Chang Shen for the first time in the Emperor's Cup Arc while covering for Ayame who went out of commission after winning a difficult battle against #2 Emperor William Robertson.

That said, what do you think of a battle between a Magic Knight who has access to a Hyperspace Arsenal and a Black Magician Girl who has access to Elemental Powers?

edited 4th Sep '12 8:01:01 PM by judasmartel

Ah, so you're gonna have Pedro be a Badass Normal for a good chunk of the story a la Taiga? Should be fine.

Re: battle Well... run-of-the-mill.

Well, I just watched Accel World recently, and I somehow liked the dynamic between Haru and Snow Black *

, and Yuuki Kaji voicing a wimp like Haru never sounded this awesome! (Because I don't want to assume he can only do badass roles like Shu, Issei Hyoudou, Jowy Atreides, and Subaru Hasegawa.)

But then I thought Pedro should be more like Yusuke Urameshi and less like Haru, while I thought of Ayame as Snow Black and Tessa Testarossa combined. So, yeah, they're completely different characters from Haru and Snow Black. Nonetheless, Ayame should still serve as Pedro's guide in this new world as he's nowhere near as awesome as her in academics.

@battle: Erm, what's an example of that? I know that a pure mage has quite the disadvantage against the Magic Knight.

edited 5th Sep '12 6:20:32 AM by judasmartel

Shu? Badass?

Accel World does seem like a pretty good guide for the character dynamics you're gunning for. Except for the romance part.

Re: battle Can't think of any examples off the top of my head, it's just something you don't think about but know it's been done. I mean, it's an obvious set up.

And the magic knight does not necessarily have the advantage. Type of magic, power level, etc. all factor in.

Haha, I thought so.

Well, yeah, I guess I should not bother with the romance for now. I should concentrate on writing awesome battles at the moment.

P.S. About Haru: Three Words: Lucky. Fucking. Bastard.

edited 5th Sep '12 6:36:15 AM by judasmartel

Apart from all the bullying. And having met the filthy scum called Noumi.

Why is it that Noumi strikes me as something like Accelerator or Kouhei Toki?

edited 5th Sep '12 7:24:40 AM by judasmartel

Noumi is boatloads more annoying than Accelerator, though. I liked pre-Heel–Face Turn Aceelerator but I hate Noumi.

I agree. Not to mention Accelerator is way more awesome. I guess Noumi is more like a younger KIHARA-KUN!

edited 5th Sep '12 8:09:10 AM by judasmartel