Recap / Epic Rap Battles Of History Steven Spielberg Vs Alfred Hitchcock

A battle royale between five well-known film directors: Steven Spielberg (played by Peter Shukoff), Alfred Hitchcock (played by Lloyd Alhquist), Quentin Tarantino (played by WAX), Stanley Kubrick (played by Ruggles Outbound), and Michael Bay (played by Peter Shukoff).

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TROPES

• The Ace: Quoth Stanley Kubrick, "Everything I do is visionary!"
• Acrofatic: Hitchcock breakdances at one point during his rap.
• Affably Evil: Michael Bay gleefully informs us that the critics consider him evil, and is open about being Only in It for the Money, but he doesn't insult the other rappers and says that he gives audiences what they love.
• Anachronic Order: In a nod to Tarantino's love of non-linear storytelling, his verses are intercut with Kubrick's approach on the big wheel.
• Assist Character: Jimmie Dimmick (whom Tarantino played) shows up to complete some of Quentin’s lines.
• At Least I Admit It: Michael Bay knows full well the critics hate him, but is upfront about the profits. His "Guilt Money" jab is also a crack that, unlike the other directors, he isn't a slave to making movies that'll please the critics and cinephiles.
• Badass Boast:
  • Steven Spielberg’s first four lines are this in the spirit of a movie pitch:
    Picture a child sitting next to a projector,
    Learning from your films to become a much better director.
    Now picture a three-billion-dollar dream machine,
    Who can blockbust all over your crop duster scene!
  • Hitchcock lets off a doozy as well.
    I'm the master... (Scare Chord) of suspense, so intense,
    no defence against Hitchcock once he presents!
    My skill's enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance,
    you're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers!
  • Kubrick’s opening line: ”Genius is a powerful word. But there's no reason to use it, 'less you're talking about the Kubrick— then there's really nothing to it".
• Badass in a Nice Suit:
  • "No defence against Hitchcock once he presents" in his classic black suit.
  • Quentin Tarantino, genius film director and "bad motherfucker”, is wearing his trademark brown suit.
  • Stanley Kubrick, the visionary that can "make you all hurt", is clad in a black suit.
• Batman Can Breathe in Space: Kubrick stands on the moon as he's giving his verse. It's justified since he's Kubrick's ghost.
• Big Eater: Spielberg accuses Hitchcock of "filling up [his] jowls with three steaks and a souflee".
• Bloody Hilarious: There's blood all over Tarantino’s background, and he says that there's more blood when he stubs his toe than in the shower scene from Psycho.
• Broken Pedestal: The real reason Spielberg is dueling Hitchcock. In real life, Hitchcock was paid to perform the opening lines of the Jaws Universal Ride in the 70s. Hitchcock found the process to be disgusting and blamed the movie and Spielberg (who had no part in designing the ride) for it. Later, Spielberg comes to Hitchcock's house to meet his idol... and Hitchcock refuses to let him into his house, much less acknowledge him as an equal in the field. Ouch.
  Maybe next time I visit, you'll be a bit more gracious!
• Catchphrase: Michael Bay has “Motherfucking money!" and variations of thereof, which he repeats three times.
• Card-Carrying Villain: Michael Bay certainly doesn't care that "the critics say I'm evil". Whether or not he agrees with them is less clear.
• Character as Himself: Kubrick's actor was initially credited as "the ghost of Stanley Kubrick."
• Chekhov's Gunman: Michael Bay's movies are, directly or indirectly, insulted in every verse. Then he makes his Dynamic Entry.
• The Chew Toy: Every single other rapper makes fun of Michael Bay or his movies in their raps.
• Cluster F-Bomb:
  • Tarantino references the fact that scenes across his filmography contain graphic violence and strong language.
  • If you're bothered by the fact that Michael Bay says "MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!" three times in his verse, too bad: “I don't give a fuck."
• Cool Bike: Kubrick is riding a tricycle that can be used on the fucking moon.
• Creepy Monotone: Kubrick starts off like this, then slowly loses the monotone for emphasis.
• Critic-Proof: In-Universe, Michael Bay brags that his movies rake in the billions despite being hated by the critics, and then notes that he's too busy working on those movies' sequels to bother with reading the reviews.
• Deadpan Snarker:
  • Hitchcock lets off a snarky one-liner in response to Spielberg's mooning:
    That was a close encounter of the turd kind.
  • Tarantino keeps a flat, bone-dry tone while ripping into his two initial opponents.
• The Dog Bites Back: Michael Bay's reason for entering the battle is specifically to get back at the other four for spending the entire battle mocking him and his work.
• Dynamic Entry:
  • Stanley Kubrick enters via slow-motion shot of him on a tricycle on the moon.
  • In the manner of his movies, Michael Bay arrives jumping out of a helicopter.
• Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Kubrick’s notably pale compared to the "normal-colored" rappers, plus he has Exhausted Eye Bags.
• Exhausted Eye Bags: To display Kubrick’s obsessive personality, he looks very tired. 127 takes don't do themselves, you know.
• Fat Bastard: Spielberg and Tarantino both make fun of Hitchcock being fat and not being able to fight in World War One for the British Army because of his obesity, respectively.
• Fiction 500: Spielberg brings up that he’s worth $3 billion.
• Flipping the Bird: Bay flips off all the other directors at the end of his verse.
• Foreshadowing:
  • During Quentin's last verse, there are a few jump cuts to Stanley riding on a tricycle through the hallway, much like the one scene from The Shining.
  • The first four rappers each take a stab at Michael Bay in their individual verses. No points for guessing who the final rapper is.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: Similar to the Russian Leaders battle, Steven Spielberg and Alfred Hitchcock each get one verse, then Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, and Michael Bay show up.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: That's the gist behind Spielberg’s Badass Boast, pointing out how he went from a simple child watching movies to Hitchcock's (supposed) superior.
• Fun Personified: Movie-making-wise, Michael Bay boasts how his movies are just fun and what the audience wants to see, while the other four rappers aim for more cerebral boasts.
• Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, and Michael Bay are unannounced competitors in the supposed one-on-one Spielberg and Hitchcock showdown.
• Greed: Michael Bay shamelessly admits that he only cares about making lots of money from his films. He also mocks the others for making films for guilt money.
• Ground-Shattering Landing: After Michael Bay jumps out of a helicopter, he sends earth flying.
• Having a Blast: Bay's verses seem to unleash explosions by themselves.
• Hitler Cam: Or "swoop low with a telephoto" as Michael Bay calls it.
• Hypocritical Humor: Probably unintentional, but "that schlep Michael Bay" is not only a good friend of Spielberg in Real Life (and actually first got into film after working on the set of Raiders of the Lost Ark), Spielberg was the Executive Producer of the Transformers movies (which was the true extent of Bay's involvement in the Ninja Turtles movie, despite what Kubrick implies). His "$3 billion Dream Machine" is responsible for distributing Bay's movies! More subtly, much of Tarantino's own work is focused around artistic elevation of vintage pop cinema in the same unapologetically bombastic way that Bay embraces action tropes.
• I Work Alone: Michael Bay makes this clear about himself.
  No Bruckheimer, I work solo!
• Incoming Ham: Michael Bay flies in hanging off of a helicopter.
• Insufferable Genius:
  • Hitchcock has quite the ego stemming from his brilliance in directing.
  • Tarantino as well, but in a different style to Hitchcock, being more abrasive and less pompous.
  • It's implied that the reason Kubrick joins the battle is because he objects to any other director being called a genius.
• It's Personal: Kubrick singles out Spielberg for screwing up A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, a nod to the fact that this was a long-shelved project that the two had collaborated on before Kubrik's death
• Jerkass Has a Point: Spielberg is about to argue with Tarantino when the latter disses War of the Worlds (2005), then silently concedes he's right.
• Kubrick Stare: Courtesy of the Trope Namer himself!
• Large Ham: Michael Bay certainly comes off in this way with his helicopter, explosions, and "MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!"
• Let's Get Dangerous!: Michael Bay does this in his opening line, no less.
  That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you! Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do?
• Mad Artist: Kubrick gives off this impression with his performance, with its somewhat disturbing intensity and the fact that he goes from a Creepy Monotone to extremely emotional.
• Mêlée à Trois: A five-way battle involving celebrated film directors and Michael Bay.
• Mood-Swinger: Stanley Kubrick doesn't so much slowly transition from quiet to loud so much as he just changes like a light switch.
  Kubrick: Every single frame a painting, made exactly how I wanna make it; DO ANOTHER TAKE AND GET IT RIGHT! A HUNDRED TWENTY-SEVEN TIMES!
• Mooning: Steven Spielberg emphasizes his line of "Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness!" by turning around and dropping his pants to Hitchcock in a Shadow Discretion Shot.
• Motor Mouth: Tarantino spits the fastest of the five rappers. The real Quentin is known for being a Keet.
• Mundane Made Awesome: Hitchcock brags about how he became a legendary horror director by using chocolate syrup as special effects for blood.
• Never My Fault: Kubrick claims that Spielberg ruined A.I.: Artificial Intelligence, despite the fact that most of the criticisms initially directed at the movie were over things that Kubrick was responsible for including.
• Nightmare Fetishist: Alfred Hitchcock brags about being able to "squeeze screams from chocolate syrup."
• Non-Standard Character Design: Hitchcock’s the only rapper in the battle who is Deliberately Monochrome.
• No-Sell: Hitchcock doesn't react much when Michael Bay jumps off the helicopter. The other three directors jump; the Master of Suspense just follows the trajectory with his head, hands behind his back.
• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: After mocking Hitchcock for being rejected by the British Army for his obesity, Tarantino breaks the fourth wall to assure us that, yes, that really happened, and tells us to look it up on Wikipedia if we don't believe him.
• Only in It for the Money: Michael Bay, in his own words why he does what he does:
  If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about motherfucking money!
• The Perfectionist: Stanley Kubrick references the fact that he insisted that a particular scene in The Shining had to be performed 127 times in order to get it right to his standards.
• Pop-Cultured Badass: Tarantino references a lot of movie trivia, from Wikipedia, to obscure Samuel L. Jackson parts, to Hitchcock's own history.
• Precision F-Strike: It's Tarantino, this is expected.
  Scripts that I write ain't the... cleanest (Fuck!)
• Pungeon Master: In a similar manner to Stephen King, Spielberg fits nine titles of his and Hitchcock's movies into his verse.
• Rage Breaking Point: It's implied that Kubrick's crack about the Ninja Turtles movie that Michael Bay produced was the straw that broke the camel's back.
• Red Baron:
  • Hitchcock calls himself ”The Master of Suspense", which is his real life nickname in the industry.
  • Tarantino dubs himself the "King of Dialogue".
• Scare Chord: They appear in Hitchcock’s verse to aid his suspense.
• Sell-Out: According to Tarantino, Spielberg's directing War of the Worlds (2005) makes him one, because it was the same sort of crap that Michael Bay would do. Bay, in return, inverts this when he points out that pandering to critics is still pandering, and that he puts as much passion and effort into his own films as they do- he just happens to be passionate about explosions and helicopters.
• Screams Like a Little Girl: Hitchcock did so after his aforementioned Badass Boast to illustrate how he's "The Master of Suspense".
• Signature Style: Each of the director's segments are a Pastiche of the elements and Signature Shots they're known for.
  • Spielberg starts the battle with his famous track-in camera move, with sweeping epic music backing his grand-but-personal narrative
  • Hitchcock's portion evokes his love of minimalism mixed with sudden dynamic moments, his snarky humor, and his use of locked shots and sudden cuts.
  • Tarantino's centers around snappy, off-kilter dialogue, has him addressing the second to go before the first while intercutting the next director's intro, and ends with a Trunk Shot.
  • Kubrick's nods to his slow-paced works and striking cinematography^note echoing famous sequences from works including A Clockwork Orange, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Shining, along with his ability to seamlessly weave violent action and quiet drama.
  • Michael Bay has the low angle panning as he enters the battle on a helicopter, complete with gratuitous explosions, and his part as a whole evokes his over-the-top productions.
• Sir Swears-a-Lot: Tarantino is self-admitted. His scripts aren't the *#*$& cleanest.
• Smug Snake: No amount of explosions can blast that smug grin off Michael Bay’s face.
• Special Guest: WAX as Quentin Tarantino and Ruggles Outbound as Stanley Kubrick.
• Specs of Awesome: Steven Spielberg’s an A-Grade film director, and the only one in the battle who wears glasses.
• Spiritual Successor: This rap is essentially "Rasputin vs. Stalin", but with filmmakers.
• The Stoic: Hitchcock isn't bothered in the least by anything Spielberg or any of the other rappers say about him.
• Stuff Blowing Up: Happens with Michael Bay, obviously. There are a fair few explosions in his verse, finishing with a nuclear one. He also blows up the ERB logo at the end.
• Suddenly Shouting: The increased volume in Kubrick’s verse comes out of nowhere.
• Summer Blockbuster: Steven Spielberg references the fact that he created them with his fourth line.
• Suckiness Is Painful: Quentin Tarantino opens his verse asking for a Tylenol and telling Hitchcock and Spielberg to stop rapping.
• Surpassed the Teacher: According to Steven Spielberg, he began his career taking inspiration from Hitchcock, but now he's far surpassed him.
• Take That!:
  • Each verse prior to Bay's includes a stab at Bay:
    Spielberg: I rock the Academy and the DGA! You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay!
    Hitchcock: My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance. You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers!
    Tarantino: (to Spielberg) Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do! (Spielberg is about to respond, before stopping himself)
    Kubrick: A.I. is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles!
  • The entirety of Bay's verse is a giant "F U!!" to the other directors and movie critics alike, since they care about winning awards, whereas he only cares about entertainment value and profit.
    Bay: (proudly) "I give the people what they love, while the critics say I'm evil!"
    "Got no time to read reviews while I'm working on the sequel!"
    • Also, after taking insults from everyone else, he in turn insults... Mark Wahlberg.
• Three-Point Landing: Michael Bay takes this pose after sticking the landing from his helicopter.
• Trunk Shot: Tarantino’s verse ends with one, this trope being a staple of his films.
• The Unfettered: Michael Bay doesn't give a shit if critics hate his movies. All he care about is making entertaining movies (and the MOTHERFUCKING MONEY!).
• V-Sign: Just as he makes his remark about Wahlberg, Bay strikes a fist pump pose in the background as a giant "V" shaped explosion goes off behind him.
• Wham Line:
  • "Cut!", just as Hitchcock finished his verse.
  • "That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you."
• Wham Shot: The jump cuts during Tarantino's last verse indicates Kubrick’s impending arrival.
• Worthy Opponent: When Kubrick declares himself a genius, Hitchcock nods in approval, indicating that he sees him as this.
• Yiddish as a Second Language: Spielberg refers to Michael Bay as a "schlep”, a Yiddish word for an inept or stupid person.
• You Are Fat: Spielberg takes a jab at Hitchcock’s weight. So does Tarantino, and in a more straightforward manner at that.