History Recap / EpicRapBattlesOfHistoryStevenSpielbergVsAlfredHitchcock

you're more horrible than Creator/MeganFox's acting in Film/{{Transformers}}!''

--->'''Spielberg''': I rock the Academy and the [=DGA=]! You rock as many Oscars as that schlep Michael Bay!
--->'''Hitchcock''': My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance. You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in ''Transformers''!
--->'''Tarantino''': (to Spielberg) Due to ''Film/{{War of the Worlds|2005}}'', a failure's what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do! ([[JerkassHasAPoint Spielberg is about to respond, before stopping himself]])
--->'''Kubrick''': ''[[Film/AIArtificialIntelligence A.I.]]'' is the worst waste of potential since [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2014 the Ninja Turtles]]!

* SeinfeldIsUnfunny: [[invoked]] Spielberg and Tarantino mentioned how Hitchcock’s films and directing style have since become outdated.

* HypocriticalHumor: Probably unintentional, but "that schlep Michael Bay" is not only a good friend of Spielberg in RealLife (and actually first got into film after working on the set of ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk''), Spielberg was the Executive Producer of the ''Transformers'' movies (which was [[MisBlamed the true extent]] of Bay's involvement in the ''Ninja Turtles'' movie, despite what Kubrick implies). His "$3 billion [[Creator/DreamWorks Dream Machine]]" is responsible for distributing Bay's movies! More subtly, much of Tarantino's own work is focused around artistic elevation of vintage pop cinema in the same unapologetically bombastic way that Bay embraces action tropes.

* JerkassHasAPoint: Spielberg is about to argue with Tarantino when the latter disses ''Film/WarOfTheWorlds'', then silently concedes he's right.

* SellOut: According to Tarantino, Spielberg’s [[Film/WarOfTheWorlds adaptation]] of ''Literature/TheWarOfTheWorlds'' makes him one, because it was the same sort of crap that Michael Bay would do. Bay, in return, inverts this when he points out that [[OscarBait pandering to critics]] is still pandering, and that he puts as much passion and effort into his own films as they do- he just happens to be passionate about explosions and helicopters.

--->'''Tarantino''': (to Spielberg) Due to ''[[Film/WarOfTheWorlds War of the Worlds]]'', a failure's what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do! ([[JerkassHasAPoint Spielberg is about to respond, before stopping himself]])

* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: After mocking Hitchcock for being rejected by the British Army for his obesity, Tarantino breaks the fourth wall to assure us that, yes, that really happened, and tells us to look it up on Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} if we don't believe him.

* HypocriticalHumor: Probably unintentional, but "that schlep Michael Bay" is not only a good friend of Spielberg in RealLife (and actually first got into film after working on the set of ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk''), Spielberg was the Executive Producer of the ''Transformers'' movies (which was [[MisBlamed the true extent]] of Bay's involvement in the ''Ninja Turtles'' movie, despite what Kubrick implies). His "$3 billion [[Creator/DreamWorks Dream Machine]]" is responsible for distributing Bay's movies!

* ItsPersonal: Kubrick singles out Spielberg for screwing up ''Film/AIArtificialIntelligence'', then he does the same to Michael Bay for screwing up [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtles]].

* SellOut: According to Tarantino, Spielberg’s [[Film/WarOfTheWorlds adaptation]] of ''Literature/TheWarOfTheWorlds'' makes him one, because it was the same sort of crap that Michael Bay would do.

* NiceHat: Steven Spielberg wears a black baseball cap with [=USS CALIFORNIA 26-RED=] on it.

* {{Acrofatic}}: At one point in Hitchcock's rap, he breakdances.
* AffablyEvil: Michael Bay gleefully informs us the critics consider him evil. In his verse, he's open about being OnlyInItForTheMoney, but he doesn't insult the other rappers and says that he gives audiences what they love.
* AnachronicOrder: In a nod to Tarantino's love of non-linear storytelling, his verses are intercut with Kubrik's approach on the big wheel.

* AtLeastIAdmitIt: Michael Bay knows full well the critics hate him, but is upfront about the profits. His "Guilt Money" jab is also a crack that he, unlike the other directors, aren't slaves to making movies that'll please the critics and cinephiles.

** Kubrick’s opening line: ”Genius is a powerful word. But there's no reason to use it, 'less you're talking about the Kubrick -- then there's really nothing to it".

** Quentin Tarantino, genius film director and "bad Motherfucker” is wearing his trademark brown suit.
** Stanley Kubrick, the visionary that can "make you all hurt" is clad in a black suit.

* BrokenPedestal: The real reason Spielberg is dueling Hitchcock. In [[TruthInTelevision real life]], Hitchcock was paid to perform the opening lines of the Jaws Universal Ride in the 70s. Hitchcock found the process to be disgusting and blamed the movie and Spielberg (who had no part in designing the ride) for it. Later, Spielberg comes to Hitchcock's house to meet his idol...and Hitchcock ''[[KickTheDog refuses to let him into his house]]'', much less acknowledge him as an equal in the field. Ouch.

** If you're bothered by the fact that Michael Bay says "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!" three times in his verse, too bad: “I don't give a fuck."

* EeriePaleSkinnedBrunette: Kubrick’s notably pale compared to the [[DeliberatelyMonochrome "normal-colored"]] rappers plus has an ExhaustedEyeBags.

** During Quentin's last verse, there are a few jump cuts to Stanley riding on a tricycle through the hallway much like the one scene from ''Film/TheShining''.

* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, and Michael Bay are unannounced competitors in the supposed Spielberg and Hitchcock showdown.

* HypocriticalHumor: Probably unintentional, but "that schlep Michael Bay" is not only a good friend of Spielberg in RealLife (and actually first got into film after working on the set of ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk''), Spielberg was the Executive Producer of the ''Transformers'' movies (which was [[MisBlamed the true extent]] of Bay's involvement in the ''Ninja Turtles'' movie, despite what Kubrick implies). His "$3 billion [[Creator/DreamWorks Dream Machine]]" is responsible for distributing Bays' movies!

* LargeHam: Michael Bay certainly comes off in this way with his helicopter, explosions and "MOTHER FUCKING MONEY!"

-->''[[RageBreakingPoint That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you!]] [[WhosLaughingNow Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do!]]''

* MundaneMadeAwesome: Hitchcock brags about how he became a legendary horror director by using chocolate syrups as special effects for blood.

* PopCulturedBadass: Tarantino references a lot of movie trivia, from Wikipedia, to obscure Sam L. Jackson parts, to Hitchcock's own history.

* PungeonMaster: In a similar manner to Stephen King, Spielberg fits nine titles of his and Hitchcock's movies in his verse.
* RageBreakingPoint: It's implied that Kubrick's crack about [[Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2014 the Ninja Turtles movie Michael Bay produced]] was the straw that broke the camel's back.

** Tarantino's centers around snappy, off-kilter dialogue, [[AnachronicOrder has him addressing the second to go before the first while intercutting the next director's intro]], and ends with a TrunkShot

* TheStoic: Hitchcock isn't bothered in the least by anything Spielberg says about him. Or anything any of the other rappers have to say.

* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: Similar to the Russian Leaders battle, Steven Spielberg and Alfred Hitchcock each get one verse, then Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, and Michael Bay show up.

* KubrickStare: Kubrick opens his verse with this, and stays that way throughout. It's Kubrick himself after all so of course he has the trademark creepy stare.

* BaldOfAwesome: Hitchcock barely has head hair and is a celebrated horror film director.

* BadassBeard: Spielberg has a scraggly white beard and he's a 3 billion dollar dream machine.

** Kubrick’s opening line: ”Genius is a powerful word. But there's no reason to use it, 'less you're talking about the Kubrick - then there's really nothing to it".

* BigEater: Spielberg accuses Hitchcock of “filling up [his] jowls with three steaks and a souflee.”

* TheAce: Quoth Stanley Kubrick, ”Everything I do is visionary!"
* {{Acrofatic}}: At one point in Hitchcock’s rap, he breakdances.

* MeleeATrois: A five-way battle between celebrated film directors [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and Michael Bay]].

---> ''Picture a child sitting next to a projector,’’\\
''Learning from your films to become a much better director.’’\\
''Now picture a three-billion-dollar dream machine,’’\\
''Who can blockbust all over your crop duster scene!''

---> ''I'm the master... [[ScareChord !]] of suspense, so intense, No defense against Hitchcock once he presents!''

** ”No defense against Hitchcock when he presents" in his classic black suit.

* TheDogBitesBack: Michael Bay’s reason for entering the battle is ''specifically'' to get back at those who mocked him for the entire battle.

--> ‘’[[WhatTheHellHero Maybe next time I visit, you'll be a bit more gracious!]]''

* CriticProof: InUniverse, Michael Bay brags that his movies rakes in the billions despite their critic hate. He's too busy working on sequels to the movies they can't stand to read their reviews.

* BatmanCanBreatheInSpace: Kubrick stands on the moon as he's giving his verse. It's [[JustifiedTrope justified]] since he's Kubrick's ghost.

* AffablyEvil: Michael Bay gleefully informs us the critics consider him evil.

--->'''Tarantino''': (to Spielberg) Due to ''[[Film/WarOfTheWorlds War of the Worlds]]'', a failure's what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do! ([[JerkassHasAPoints Spielberg is about to respond, before stopping himself]])

---> ''That was a close encounter of the turd kind.''

* {{Foreshadowing}}: During Quentin's last verse, there are a few jump cuts to Stanley riding on a tricycle through the hallway much like the one scene from ''Film/TheShining''.

--> ''[[RageBreakingPoint That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you!]] [[WhosLaughingNow Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do!]]''

--> '''Kubrick''': [[CreepyMonotone Every single frame a painting, made exactly how I wanna make it;]] '''[[SuddenlyShouting DO ANOTHER TAKE AND GET IT RIGHT! A HUNDRED TWENTY-SEVEN TIMES!]]'''

** Also, after taking insults from everyone else, he in turn insults... Creator/MarkWahlberg.

** ”Cut!", just as Hitchcock finished his verse.
** “That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you."

* SignatureShot:
** Spielberg starts the battle with his famous track-in camera move.
** Tarantino ends his verse with a TrunkShot.
** Michael Bay has the low angle panning as he enters the battle, complete with gratuitous explosions.

A battle royale between five well-known film directors: Creator/StevenSpielberg, Creator/AlfredHitchcock, Creator/QuentinTarantino, Creator/StanleyKubrick, and Creator/MichaelBay.

* StuffBlowingUp: Happens with Michael Bay, obviously. There are a fair few explosions in his verse, finishing with a [[NukeEm nuclear]] one. He also blows up the ERB logo at the end.

- - -> ''I'm the master... [[ScareChord !]] of suspense, so intense, No defense against Hitchcock once he presents!''

--> ''That was a close encounter of the turd kind.''

-->'''Bay:''' ''(proudly)'' "I give the people [[RuleOfCool what they love]], while the critics say I'm evil!"
-->"Got no time to read reviews while I'm working on the sequel!"