A team battle with Western philosophers Socrates (played by Lloyd Alhquist), Friedrich Nietzsche (played by Peter Shukoff), and Voltaire (played by Zach Sherwin) on one side, and Eastern philosophers Sun Tzu (played by Timothy DeLaGHETTO), Lao Tzu (played by KRNFX), and Confucius (played by MC Jin.)
TROPES
- Agent Peacock: Voltaire is more flouncy than his teammates, but no less scathing.
- Attention Whore: Confucius implies Voltaire supports free speech so he can yap as much as he wants.
- Batman Gambit: Sun Tzu pulls one off and successfully gets the Western philosophers to turn on each other by exploiting their egos.
- Berserk Button:
- Socrates doesn't like being called a plebe.
- Nietzsche's shaking in rage after being insulted by Socrates. Making it worse is that he doesn't believe himself to be Socrates' student.
- Earlier on, it's made clear that Nietzsche doesn't react kindly when seeing ideas that espouse traditionalism, respect for its own sake, submission and conformity:Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to...
- Voltaire tries to calm Socrates down, but lost it after Socrates called him a frognote
- Telling Lao Tzu that his philosophy doesn't make sense will enrage him.
- Insulting Confucius’ eyebrows breaks his politeness.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows:
- Sun Tzu has the largest and thickest brows of the three.
- Confucius’ brows are big enough to be mocked by Sun Tzu even though his are bigger.
- Big "SHUT UP!": At the end of the video, the announcer gets so fed up with all of the philosophers' bickering, he bellows "QUIET!" at them.
- The Casanova: Voltaire gets laid. A LOT. He even points out how the Westerners are better lovers.
- The Comically Serious: Nietzsche is easily the most intense of the philosophers, which makes it funnier when he threatens to "squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu."
- Cool People Rebel Against Authority: Voltaire prides himself on going against the status quo, directly opposing Confucius. Likewise Nietzsche, though he is more intense about it when taking on Lao Tzu.
- Divide and Conquer: Sun Tzu manages to sow disharmony among the Western Philosophers. Unfortunately, hearing Lao Tzu's proverbs causes him to do the same to his own team, the video ending with the teams squabbling amongst themselves.
- Don't Think, Feel: Lao Tzu's philosophy encourages going with the flow, but he still tells Sun Tzu to "move, bitch, get out the way!"
- The Fettered: Confucianism is known for its rigid social systems. Confucius makes appeals to tradition, respect, and honor over the course of the battle.
- Flanderization:
- Nietzsche’s portrayal is inaccurate in that he is equated with his most bombastic proclamations and he describes himself as a "nihilist" which the real Nietzsche did not. Nietzsche argued against nihilism, he described it in detail but always as something to be overcome.
- Voltaire's mostly a caricature of a foppish French aristocrat with none of his deeper ideas or defects (his raging anti-Semitism for instance) addressed.
- Flaw Exploitation: Sun Tzu turns his opponents against each other by taking advantage of Nietzsche's dislike of Socrates.
- Formula-Breaking Episode: "Eastern vs. Western Philosophers" starts with a standard battle, with each getting two verses, until Sun Tzu uses mind games to manipulate the Western team into arguing amongst themselves. This tactic then backfires when he ends up tearing apart his own team as well.
- The Gadfly:
- Socrates proudly proclaims himself to be one as "the mad gadfly".
- Despite Socrates calling himself this as his title, Sun Tzu is sneaking around and making fun of the philosophers after he turns them against each other. He takes a picture of the three squabbling once Voltaire joins in, and laughs at Nietzsche as he fumes in rage.
- Gag Nose: Socrates makes a joke about Voltaire’s nose falling into his coffee.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Though Sun Tzu’s plan to turn the Westerners against each other succeeded, the Easterners also fall victim to infighting when he gets frustrated with Lao Tzu and tells him to "fill his bowl with some shit that makes some sense".
- Hot-Blooded: Sun Tzu is easily the most riled up of the Eastern Philosophers.
- Hypocritical Humor: Sun Tzu insults Confucius' Big Ol' Eyebrows even though his own are the biggest.
- Ice-Cream Koan: Sun Tzu points out how Lao Tzu’s philosophy at times just doesn't make any sense.
- A bowl is best used when it is empty...
- It's All About Me: Confucius tells Voltaire free speech is no excuse to babble about himself.
- Japanese Ranguage: As a pun against Nietzsche, Confucius doesn't approve of his philosophies by saying "Me no Third Reichy."
- Knight in Sour Armor: Insufferable as he is, Socrates had a major interest in ethics, which is why he puts down Voltaire for rigging the lottery.
- Large Ham: Nietzsche shouts half of his lines with intense expressions and actions.
- Let's You and Him Fight: Sun Tzu's master plan is to trick the Western philosophers into fighting each other instead of their opponents. This works... until the Eastern philosophers fall into the same trap. By the end, both teams have dissolved into six bickering individuals.
- Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Voltaire has famously long hair, though Confucius thinks his 'do looks like egg noodles.
- The Leader:
- Socrates claims himself the inventor of philosophy, and Sun Tzu claims that Nietzsche and Voltaire are his followers.
- Sun Tzu easily takes control of his side's verses, commanding Lao Tzu and Confucius to give it their all.
- Manipulative Bastard: Sun Tzu exploits Nietzsche's contempt for Socrates in order to ruin the cooperation of Team West.
- Mellow Fellow: Lao Tzu is very relaxed and tranquil, up until Sun Tzu says his ideas make no sense.
- Motor Mouth: Confucius gives Shakespeare a run for his money with how fast he executes Sun Tzu's Batman Gambit.
- Must Have Caffeine: Voltaire’s love of coffee is mocked by Confucius and Socrates.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: According to Confucius, Nietzsche’s ideas are partly responsible for Nazi Germany.
- Not So Above It All: Confucius attempts to stop his partners' squabble but then joins in.
- Not So Stoic: Lao Tzu succumbed to arguing with Sun Tzu.
- N-Word Privileges: Confucius makes cracks about Asian Speekee Engrish, Chinese takeout, and fortune cookies.
- Old Master:
- Socrates is obviously quite old, which means he has been practicing his Socratic method (and in this case, rapping skills) for a long time.
- Confucius delivers a scathing broadside to Voltaire and Nietzsche by leveraging a lifetime of wisdom and being oldest here.
- Lao Tzu’s age reflects in his wisdom (even if it doesn't make sense at first thought) and he can still get physical.
- Perpetual Frowner: Nietzsche spends the entire battle with a scowl on his face.
- The Quiet One: Lao Tzu speaks very calmly and politely.
- Red Baron:
- Socrates refers to himself as the "Mad Gadfly."
- Nietzsche dubs himself the "Fliest Nihilist."
- Rhyming with Itself: Voltaire rhymes "frank" with itself four times, and for bonus points, rhymes the preceding word every time as well, three of those four times rhyming "be" with itself. At least he uses different meanings of "frank" each time...Let me be frank:
Don't start beef with the Frank
Who hangs with B. Franks
Giving ladies beef franks! - Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Nietzsche becomes annoyed by his allies arguing and leaves after the battle.
- Shown Their Work: They got Nietzsche's real-life dislike for Socrates and Voltaire right.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Confucius accuses Voltaire of this after he boasts about his wit.
- Special Guest: Zach Sherwin as Voltaire, Timothy DeLaGhetto as Sun Tzu, KRNFX as Lao Tzu, and MC Jin as Confucius.
- Spell My Name With An S: "'Cause I'm N-I-E-T Z-S-C-H-E, and I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!"
- Straw Nihilist: Nietzsche reassures himself as the Trope Codifier during his introduction. "The Fliest Nihilist."
- The Stoic: Lao Tzu's noticeably the calmest of his group.
- Technical Pacifist: Lao Tzu threatens to force his opposition out of the way if they don't move for him.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Despite the cohesion in early verses, it soon becomes clear that the two teams are deeply divided, to the point where it takes no time at all for each team to descend into infighting.
- Troll: Socrates is infamous for being one. He proudly calls himself the Mad Gadfly and claims his team's got wisdom and wit even he couldn't question.
- Übermensch: Nietzsche insists that you call him one, because "he's so driven." This is one rare mistake from the series, the real-life Nietzsche consistently said that he was not the Übermensch.note
- Unusual Eyebrows: Sun Tzu thinks Confucius’ eyebrows need to fit better on his face.
- Vocal Dissonance: Confucius looks like a wise old sage, which makes his energetic, fast-talking style kind of jarring.
- Waxing Lyrical: Lao Tzu briefly quotes "Move, Bitch" by Ludacris.
