Quotes: Mugging the Monster

[Jodie, 90 pound 24 year old girl, has beaten up 4 frat-boys preying on a homeless man]
Stan: How did you do that?
Jodie: I... I learned how to fight in the army.
Stan: Yeah, but there was four of them, 'gainst one of you.
Jodie: Four assholes. They did not know how to fight.

I'm telling you that you're in the wrong film, fatboy. You're not in the cowboy film you thought you were. This is a different kind of movie. And you're in the scene where the redneck shitkicker picks on the stranger in town, only it turns out to be Big Arnie or a gang of vampires. I bet you've seen that a million times, cowboy.
King Mob (kindly explaining the trope while threatening a Groin Attack), The Invisibles

Intent to rob, intent to assault, assault, and failing to be selective in your choice of victim. Bad day for you.
Vlad Taltos, Iorich

J-Man: Who do you think you're talking to, old man? We're the Jokerz!
Bruce Wayne: Sure you are.

[The Streib's] last expedition was into Minbari space. We tracked them back to their homeworld... and made sure they understood the depth of their mistake.
Ambassador Delenn, "All alone in the night," Babylon 5

As the veteran adventurer Torbras of Westgate put it, "If you accost a barefoot laborer digging in the mud of a turnip field and stained glass golems suddenly lurch out of nearby sheds or the columns of a barn come to life, and gemstones float out of the man's pockets to circle his head and spit lightning at you — well, you've found one of those fabled jewelers of Irl, and likely a swift end to your life, too!"

Faelrae is apparently a Tashalan human but is in truth a song dragon. Ilden seems to be a male Shaaran human but reverts to his true silver dragon form when he feels the need.

That need usually arises either when a wizard decides that Hawkgarth looks ripe for being transformed into his or her domain (there have been several spectacular, midair spell-battles attendant on persuading such individuals that they're mistaken) or when an adventuring band, mercenary company, or (more rarely) neighboring ruler decides that Hawkgarth needs a new form of government — to whit, them.

There are people in this world who go about demanding to be killed. You must have noticed them. They quarrel in gambling games. They jump out of their automobiles in a rage. They humiliate and bully people whose capabilities they do not know. These are people who wander through the world shouting, "Kill me." And there's always someone ready to oblige to them.
Vito Corleone, The Godfather video game

They had the heavy, stolid look of those thugs whose appearance in any narrative means that it's time for the hero to be menaced a bit, although not too much, because it's also obvious that they're going to be horribly surprised.

I fear that all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.
Attributed to Naval Marshal General Isoroku Yamamoto, after the attack on Pearl Harbor

Attention! Banditry's na tha answer ta yer problems. 'Tis wrong and also dangerous. Ye are surround'd by deadly trees an' ye have na sufficient force ta make a real go of it. One a' these days, yer just gonna end up trying to rob like a level 16 fighter by accident and get massacred.
Durkon Thundershield (to a gang of bandits), The Order of the Stick

Buffy: You ever heard the expression, "biting off more than you can chew"? ...Okay, um, how about the expression "Vampire Slayer"?
Vampire: What the hell are you talking about?
Buffy: Wow. Never heard that one? Okay, how about, "Oh God, my leg, my leg?"
Vampire: Oh God, my leg! Ah!

Gandalf: I ran into some unsavoury characters whilst travelling along the Greenway. They mistook me for a vagabond.
Thorin: I imagine they regretted that.

Ruby: "Are you... robbing me?"
Mobster: "Yes!"
Ruby: (smiles slightly) "Ooohhh.."
Mobster: (Punched Across the Room)
The Music on Ruby's headphones: They see you as small and helpless, They see you as just a child, Surprise when they find out that a Warrior will soon run wild.

Mana: Ah, good to hear. How's things been aside from that? Nobody's tried to rob you, have they? I heard that's a big problem around here.
Hrodland: They did ... Once.
Mana: Bet they aren't gonna try again, huh?

Bruce Wayne: Who are you?
Payback: I'm your worst nightmare.
Bruce: You have no idea what my nightmares are like.
Batman Beyond, "Payback"

In fact, he almost wanted some creepy drunk person to saunter up and start a conversation, just so he could see what would happen. He figured it would inevitably be something surprising, like them turning out to be really fun and perfectly harmless, if a bit over-friendly from the inebriation. And if they tried to kidnap and murder him, well. That would be surprising for them.

Viggo: It's not what you did son, that angers me so. It's who you did to.
Viggo: That fucking nobody...Is John Wick.
John Wick.

Rick: They're going to feel pretty stupid when they find out.
Abraham: Find out what?
Rick: They're screwingnote  with the wrong people.

Zephan: *reading Sydney's police record* It looks like she spent a night in jail, she was charged with aggravated assault...
Maxima: Again, unsurprised.
Zephan: It was dismissed as self-defense. Apparently...good lord, someone tried to mug her? Talk about unprofessional, the police report says only "Oh the humanity!"

...But that was not murder. It was clearly self-defense. The fact that I had a submachine gun changes nothing. It just lets me defend more efficiently.

You are robbed six times before the lighting of the lamps. Well, 'robbed' is generous. Anyone who so much as breathes on your pockets suffers a swift beating. Is everyone in this city a villain?