You and What Army?

...oh, that one.

"The trouble is, when you say to a general 'You and whose army?', he just has to point out of the window."

— Major Clarkston, Monstrous Regiment

Somebody retorts to some threat, request, or demand with "Oh yeah? You and what/whose army?" The phrase is supposed to be one of defiance, as if to say it will take an army to stop/defeat them. Usually comes in four flavors:

The most common version: listener cues/points at the army, usually followed by "This army."
If the listener is feeling confident, they will simply say, "I AM the army/I don't need one."
In a rare situation, the listener turns back to where the army was, only to find that they have run off or turned against them.
The army will show up at the call or snap of the fingers getting the reaction, "Oh right. That Army."

A form of Tempting Fate, and one of those Stock Phrases that will have teammates, and oneself, yelling variants of "You Just Had to Say It, didn't you?!" For obviously related reasons, liable to Threat Backfire.

Million Mook March and Flaunting Your Fleets are ways to preemptively answer this question via Gunboat Diplomacy.

Compare Gideon Ploy and Booked Full of Mooks.

Here is a compilation with a lot of examples of this trope.

Examples:

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Anime & Manga

One Doraemon story sees Nobita being chased by Gian and tries calling Doraemon for help via payphone, but Doraemon, engrossed in a jigsaw puzzle, doesn't want to leave the house and tells Nobita he'll send out a bunch of "soldiers" to help Nobita. Gian eventually catches up and Nobita, trying to avoid getting beaten up, tells Gian an army is coming to save him. Cue the Gadget-of-the-Day, a set of futuristic Tin Toy Soldiers who fires real munitions (albeit of the Amusing Injuries variety) coming to the rescue.
Gian: [in a condescending voice] That's your army? Your army? Hah!...
[the Tin Toy Soldiers immediately fires away, giving Gian an Ash Face and making him flee in panic]
Negima! Magister Negi Magi: Subverted in a flashback to Ala Rubra rescuing Queen Arika from an execution: after Nagi dives in to save her, the remaining members of the group (about five people) are threatened by the Evil Chancellor. Jack Rakan asks what army he has backing him up that he thinks he can take on Ala Rubra. The guy points at a massive fleet just over the hills and states he has multiple elite ground legions a couple of minutes away as well. Jack laughs at this and asks if he seriously thinks that's enough to take them on. (It isn't. Ala Rubra obliterates the army with ease.)

Comic Books

In Bone, variant three is employed when a Rat Creature army encounters the Red Dragon. After a short round of posturing from the Rat Creature leader and a Badass Boast from the Dragon, the Rat Creature attempts to rally his army only to turn around and discover he hasn't got one any more.
Rat Creature: Stay back, Worm! Our numbers are too great, even for you!
Red Dragon: Funny you should mention that — how many warriors do you have between here and the waterfall? A thousand? Two thousand?
Rat Creature: We're not afraid of you!
Red Dragon: Who's "we"?
Part I of the The Cartoon History of the Universe uses this phrase exactly in a footnote about physical changes in human beings over time. After explaining that human skulls were twice as thick before the Neolithic Revolution as afterward, Gonick goes on to say that this is characteristic of domesticated animals; i.e. that humans had also domesticated themselves. This leads to this exchange between two men shaking hands, smiling, and holding weapons behind their backs:
Man with dagger: Please, let us settle our differences by civilized means.
Man with spear: You and what army?
Happens between the Teen Titans and Justice League in JLA/Titans - The Technus Imperative, when the two teams come into conflict over the fate of Victor Stone; Orion delivers the line to Beast Boy/Changeling.
Scrooge McDuck, in The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, has been known to ask "You and what glee-club?"
In the second issue of Marvel Adventures: Hulk, Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, expresses his disappointment that the thugs he's about to beat up didn't use this line. In X-Factor (current Series) #6, they do.
From the Nintendo Comics System Game Boy series story "It's a Small World After All," we have this:
Pionpi: [referring to Mario] Get him!
Mario: You and what army?
Pionpi: [as all of Tatanga's minions surround Mario] This army! Tatanga's!
Mario: Oh.
The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis: Leela asks this to the Brain Spawn after they reveal their evil plan. One of the Brain Spawn responds with "This one.", with numerous giant brains appearing and causing Leela, Fry, and Bender to be rather nervous about it.
Spider-Man:
- In Superior Spider Man Team Up #9, Otto asks this of a mole in his Spiderlings. The answer?
  Mole: Your own! HAHAHAHAHA! [cue two page spread of him, Daredevil, and The Punisher surrounded by Otto's men wearing stolen supervillain gear]
- In Edge of Spider-Geddon #1, Spider-Man is confronted by Kang the Conglomerator, a time-traveling businessman who wants to take him back to the future to turn him into a sanitized corporate mascot. When Spider-Man asks this trope, Kang replies "This one" and summons an army of cutesy, life-sized Spider-Man toys which promptly dogpile the superhero.
A variation in New 52's Wonder Woman, as War battles with First Born:
War: You see, it's not only you with an army.
First Born: Bah! What soldiers would follow you, old man?
War: All of them.
[War summons an army of ghostly soldiers from across all of history]

Comic Strips

Garfield:
- In one strip, Garfield asks that question when Jon says he'll give Garfield a bath. Jon outsmarts Garfield and he ends up not needing one.
- Garfield is in the middle of asking this to a kid whose sandwich he stole when he notices the bear behind him.
- Jim Davis' other work, U.S. Acres, had this instance: Orson once uses hypnosis to make Wade no longer afraid of anything. The first sign it's working is when Wade responds to a command by asking "You and what army, waller breath"?

Fan Works

In the Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story/Fate/stay night crossover A Blade Forged in the Ashes, when the Amane sisters say they will stop their opponents from attacking the Rumor they're protecting, Felicia asks "You and what army?" The Amanes' Black Feathers and Shadow Servants pour in, and both Yachiyo and Archer tell Felicia she is no longer allowed to speak for invoking this trope.
BURN THE WITCH (Miraculous Ladybug): After Lila's true nature is revealed to the whole class, Marinette declares that she's going to pay back everyone whom she scammed into donating to her false charity. Lila responds with a mocking "And who will make me, you?" Shortly after this, Rose is akumatized into Witch Hunter and starts stirring up an angry mob with the intent of capturing Lila and, well...
In Chapter 26 of The Chronicles of the Fellowship, when a pirate captain asks this question of Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Susan, Susan expresses her disbelief that he actually gave them such an opening before the Army of the Dead charge.
In the Discworld of A.A. Pessimal, a disagreement between two Goddesses in Dunmanifestin takes this form:
"I'm seriously going to smash your face in, you cow!"
"Oh, yeah? You and whose Divine Legion?"
In the second story of the Facing the Future Series, Desiree says to Sam that in order to beat her and the other ghosts holding Danny, she'd need one of these. Cue Frostbite, his people, and Danielle.
In Fate/Stay Night: Ultimate Master, Ben taunts Caster with this line. In response, she summons several skeletal warriors. Ben comments that he walked right into that one.
Harry Potter fanfiction:
- Harry Five-0:
  Harry: Put the gun down before I put you down.
  Nick Taylor: You and what army?
  Harry: No Army... just a Navy.
  [Floodlights reveal a Navy helicopter fifty meters away]
- Harry's New Mum:
  Cornelius Fudge: How dare you?
  Giles: No Minister, the question is how dare you treat human beings in this way? How dare you resist this change? I will give you one day to respond to our request and then we will take over your prison.
  Cornelius Fudge: You and what army? You have one Slayer, and one traitorous abomination.
- Secundum Vita:
  Random witch: You Muggles have no place being here and will leave now or I promise you a lot of pain.
  Ellen Granger: You and what army bitch!
- Cooking Lesson:
  Snape: We will leave, but we are taking all the animals with us. And furthermore, you are banned from ever owning a pet again.
  Irresponsible pet owner: You think you can take them do you? You and whose fucking army?
  Sirius: I'd trust him over an army any day of the week.
- In A slave for you a botched love potion makes Draco Harry's slave, with the added twist that if they don't have sex Draco will die. Draco's father insists they need to do it in front of witnesses.
  Lucius: I will make you.
  Harry: You and what army.
- In Harry Potter and the Vampire's Assistant Hermione overhears Draco and some Slytherins plotting to leave the castle and plots to stop them.
  Hermione: No, [the curfew] is meant for everyone, so you might as well turn around and go back in your common room, because you're not going anywhere tonight.
  Theodore Nott: Yeah? You gonna stop us? You and what army?
  Hermione: [pointing to the D.A. club] That army.
- Kill Cormac:
  Cormac: You're throwing away the game.
  Ginny: No, that's what you did by knocking out our star seeker. If I see your face again today it will be with a beater's bat being slammed into it over and over! Then I'll be taking out my wand!
  Cormac: You and what army?
  Ginny: The army of Gryffindor Quidditch fans!
- A Friend Indeed:
  Sirius: Harry? This is your last warning. If you don't get up now, you will be sorry.
  Harry: Right. You and whose army?
- The Heir to Prince Manor:
  Draco: Watch the mouth, kid. Or else.
  Harry: Or else what?
  Draco: Or else your big brother here's gonna kick your arse.
  Harry: Right. You and what army?
- In Harry Potter and the Summer of Change Fred and George are annoyed because Ginny knows the identity of Harry's mystery girlfriend and hasn't told them.
  Fred: Who is it Gin?
  George: We can make you talk.
  Ginny: Yeah, you and which army?
- Incongruent:
  Umbridge: There is no healing this sick culture. The Ministry will close down this shamble of a school before it encourages anymore ill rivalry.
  Neville: You and what army?
In Chapter 7 of The Return Remixed, after Natalya said she would do anything it took to stop DEAR, Trish Stratus said, "You and what army?", pointing out all the women DEAR had taken out. At the time, Nattie's backup was only AJ Lee and Kaitlyn, but would foreshadow the other Divas forming their own group, the Diva Army.
A Shadow of the Titans: Brother Blood asks this of the Oni when they invade the HIVE and demand his surrender. Their response is to summon their Shadowkhan armies.
Tarakudo: I was so hoping you would say that.

Films — Animation

Kung Fu Panda 2: After a long Chase Scene, Po has just defeated the Wolf Boss and says, "Next time you mess with a panda you better bring a whole arrrrrrrrhhhh!" as he realises their fight has carried them into the palace which a rather large wolf army is guarding.
Open Season:
Boog: Yeah? You and what army?
Mcsquizzy: (whistles)
Squirrel Army: Oi!
Boog: Oh. That army.
Recess: School's Out: The Big Bad, Philliam Benedict, asks Ms. Finster that very question. Then, the army of teachers swarms in, beginning the final battle.
Shrek inverts the usual setup and goes for the rare third taste. Shrek says this to the leader of a group of soldiers, who turns around and sees his entire army has fled in terror of Shrek. He does the same.
Asked by a chimp to the Big Bad in Space Chimps. The chimp meant it to be rhetorical, but the alien just responds, "This one?" pointing at what is genuinely his army. You can tell how the chimp reacts.
Not within the film itself, but in the infamous "Black Friday Reel" for Toy Story, Woody, who was initially written as, for lack of a better term, a grade-A asshole, throws Buzz Lightyear out the window when the toys are placing bets on who Andy will take to Pizza Planet. The toys, horrified at Woody's actions, threaten to throw him off the bed if he doesn't do it himself, and Woody utters this trope's name verbatim in response. Immediately after, the Bucket O' Soldiers spring onto him, and they and the other toys move to throw him out the window like he did to Buzz...

Films — Live-Action

Aces Go Places
Mook: Wait right here. I'll get my guys after you.
King Kong: Your guys? [chases him down the stairs, and runs back up in horror as there actually were more guys downstairs]
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl: Inverted.
Lavagirl: That's why we have to stop you.
Mr. Electric: You... and what army?
[cue Mr. Electric's army of sentient electrical plugs appearing]
Anaconda: During a verbal spat between Ice Cube's character and Westridge, the latter makes this retort after Cube told him he could kill him without breaking a sweat. Cube just counter-replies with Your Mom.
From a non-Hollywood film, the old wuxia Clan Feuds:
Swordsman: [trying to challenge the main villain] If you have the guts, then come out and fight like a man! I'm not afraid of you and I WILL tear this place to the ground if you refuse! Come on!
[cue around twenty mooks working for the villains suddenly showing up and surrounding him]
Clerks II: Randall uses this line after Dante threatens to kick his ass.
Hugh asks Bowen this question in Dragonheart. In reply, Draco appears.
Cobra Commander, in a legendary moment of Genre Blindness, says this to Duke of all people in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It's worth noting that Duke was practically asking him to say it and when Joes suddenly show and surround the fugitives, Duke responds with satisfaction, "MY army!"
In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Neville Longbottom completes his transformation into a badass when he says this to taunt the Death Eaters when they try to get past the protective enchantments and three of them end up disintegrating. It's all the more awesome considering Neville says this to about a thousand Death Eaters who are inches away from attacking.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Extended Edition): The Corsair captain asks Aragorn this question when he, Legolas and Gimli board their ships. Aragorn's response? "This army."
Marvel Cinematic Universe:
- Inverted in The Avengers.
  Loki: I have an army.
  Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
- Avengers: Age of Ultron have this exchange near the end, though the quote isn't spoken in-verbatim.
  Thor: Is that the best you [Ultron] can do?
  [cue an army of Ultron drones surrounding the heroes]
  Cap: You had to ask.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop has the head mall security guy asking this of the leader of the New Jersey National Guard. Three guesses how that works out.
Return to Oz: During Dorothy's first meeting with the all-powerful Nome King, she bravely refers to her friends as "her army", to try to overthrow him.
Dorothy: [sounding braver than she feels] Well, we are here with our army, to conquer you, and force you to give it back!!
Nome King: Army? [chuckles amiably, then starts laughing uproariously, as huge gashes open up in the ground, and Dorothy falls through]

Jokes

There's a well-known joke about the U.S. President that says "Never challenge a man who can answer the question 'You and what army?'" or a variant thereof.

Literature

Donald Westlake's "After I'm Gone":
Levine: Come out of there with your hands up!
Gunman: I'll tell him when he comes in!
Levine: You won't get away!
Gunman: Yeah? Where's your army?
Levine: On its way.
Discworld
- Night Watch: "Yeah? You and what army?" "Mine, as a matter of fact."
- Monstrous Regiment: "The trouble is, when you say to a general 'You and whose army?', he just has to point out of the window."
- In Carpe Jugulum, Nanny Ogg reflects that this is a bad line to use when arguing with a king. So is "Who died and left you in charge?" Of course, the king himself is careful about answering this question, since his standing army consists solely of Nanny Ogg's son.
In the climax of Heart of Steel, Alistair has brought his army of dire wolves and robots as backup when he fights Cyborg!Jim, and therefore easily answers Jim's challenge when asked.
Lampshaded in the Horrible Histories book The USA, in the chapter about The American Revolution:
The Governor: This is revolution. We're going to stop you!
American Settler: Oh yeah? You and what army?
The Governor: Er... the British Army, actually.
Craig Shaw Gardner's Slaves of the Volcano God:
Doc: First, we may have to do a little shootin'.
Henchman: You and what army?
Zabana: Zabana not need army! Who challenges Zabana?
Shivers (M. D. Spenser): The novella Babyface and the Killer Mob has 12-year-old gangster-wannabe Joey trying to intimidate the Killer Mob's goons to let him join their gang, and repeatedly rejected. When Joey decides to threaten them instead, one of the Killer Mob's members uses this phrase on Joey. Joey's answer? He may not have an army, but he can still rat out the Killer Mob to their rival, the Muscle Gang. It ends as badly for Joey as you'd expect.
In Star Wars Legends, this line goes: "You and what Sith Lord?"
In Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain, Scott Adams writes that one of his wishes to become rich enough to hire a private army and a private island for them to march on solely to subvert this phrase.

Live-Action TV

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Lovers Walk". Spike is threatening Joyce in the kitchen of Buffy's home:
Angel: You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me.
Said by a villain in an episode of Chuck. It turns out, a platoon of the U.S. Army, APCs and all, were waiting outside to arrest him and his men.
Doctor Who: In "The Pandorica Opens", Amy finds a Cyberman head that still manages to be a threat thanks to Combat Tentacles. After she gets some distance...
Cyberman: You will be assimilated.
Amy: You and whose body?
[the rest of the Cyberman walks in and picks up its head]
Forever Knight. In "Ashes to Ashes", LaCroix's vampire daughter turns up to seek revenge on her father, who was a general in Ancient Rome before she brought him across.
LaCroix: I'm not going to let you leave here, Divia. There's enough evil in the world already.
Divia: [Effortless Amazonian Lift] Are you going to stop me, General? You and — as they say — whose army?
Legends of Tomorrow. In "Invasion", Barry Allen intends to surrender himself to the Dominators over Oliver Queen's objections. When Barry gives this trope, all Oliver has to do is indicate the assembled heroes, who are just as set against the idea.
In Mind Your Language, Mr. Brown realises that the headmistress is about to be conned, and confronts the Con Man by himself — "what army" turns out to be all his male students standing there and looking menacing.
Played perfectly straight in Primeval:
Connor: I've come for the lizard.
Asshole: Cost you three grand.
Connor: How about you bring him to me, or I'll come in and get him?
Asshole: Yeah? You and whose army?
Connor stands to one side, revealing Becker standing around casually with two other squaddies aiming their guns
Connor: Mine, actually.
Asshole: You'd better come in.
Connor: Thank you.
Saturday Night Live:
- Sketch: Abraham Lincoln is in Ford's Theater watching a play, and is acting in a rude and obnoxious manner.
  Theatre patron: [Deep South accent] Will you shut up, suh?
  Abraham Lincoln: Hey, hey, you gonna do something about it?
  Theatre patron: I may, suh!
  Abraham Lincoln: Yeah, you and what Confederate Army, cracker-barrel?
  Theatre patron: I warned you, suh!
  Abraham Lincoln: Yeah, well, why don't you come up here and do somethin'? What, what are you gonna do, shoot me, pal, huh?
  Host: And the rest is history.
- Decades ago, when the fake Hitler diaries showed up, Saturday Night Live had a sketch with Hitler recounting events in his diary. One event was one where he said something like, "I'll show you!" and the other guy replied, "Yeah? You and what army?"
- When Richard Pryor hosted in 1975, one demand was that Garrett Morris, the sole black cast member, should be the one to say "Live from New York", something usually done by Chevy Chase. The Cold Opening is that Chase has not been informed of this, as Garrett enters, playing the same role. A short argument occurs, as Garrett is whispering to Chevy. Chevy answers with the line, Garrett whispers again, Chevy looks concerned. "Oh, that army..."
In Star Trek: The Next Generation, the episode "The Defector" has Commander Tomalak smugly imply this when he has the Enterprise outgunned by two Romulan Warbirds. Picard simply responds by signalling three Klingon Birds of Prey to drop their cloak, revealing they've got the Romulans flanked.
In Torchwood: Children of Earth:
Prime Minister Brian Green: You and whose army?
Lois Habiba: Torchwood.
An awesome inversion happens in the middle the Ultraman X three-parter guest-starring Ultraman Victory (from the previous installment, Ultraman Ginga). The heroes consisting of Ultraman X and Ultraman Victory has defeated all the minions of Guar Spectre, only for Guar Spectre to gloat that he have reinforcements and open a portal in the sky. But it turns out behind that portal is none other than Victory's partner, Ultraman Ginga, who already cleaned up the Spectre army in an Offscreen Moment of Awesome and is waiting to ambush the villains.
Guar Spectre: You are too late! The Guar army is here!
[opens a portal — cue Ultraman Ginga emerging from said portal and raining hellfire on Guar Spectre]

Pro Wrestling

As he leads the Flood to destroy Chikara for good, Jimmy Jacobs mocks Icarus for going to war without an army, since he was only standing against the Flood with seven other wrestlers, or so Jacobs thought. Turns out Dr. Cube's contributions to the Flood force were really Chikara regulars in disguise.

Video Games

"You and what army?" is a preloaded taunt in Age of Empires II. The next taunt is "Oh. That army."
Battlefield: Bad Company had its explosives expert, Haggard, taunt a helicopter using this. He Always Wanted to Say That. Of course they were surrounded by an army. Yeah, he really wanted to say that. The army they just defected from, in fact.
The Tagline for Clash of Clans is "You and this army."
At the end of Day of the Tentacle, the Purple Tentacle reveals his army of Purple Tentacles pulled from various points in the timeline.
Fallout
- In Fallout: New Vegas, depending on the ending and choices taken, the player can have a army of Securitrons (Elite Mecha-Mooks) to be used in "negotiating" with The NCR.
- In Fallout a dialogue option with one of raider leader's bodyguards when she informs you she'll kill you if you cause trouble: "Yeah, you and which army?" — she's recruited Smith and Wesson.
Mass Effect: Andromeda includes Ryder responding to a surly Bad Guy Patron looking for a fight with "I don't need an army, I have a krogan." Said guy is looking for a fight because the krogan already knocked out one of his buddies. Ryder's warning proves entirely accurate.
Monkey Island: Guybrush Threepwood can have this as one of his options after Wally threatens him in The Curse of Monkey Island.
Guybrush: You and what navy?
In Oni for the PS2, if you let your former boss live, despite the fact that he tried to murder you and turned your loli robot handler into an "put me out of my misery" weapon, Then at the end of the game your brother, the Big Bad looks to you with his goons as you stand on the rooftop and says "You think you can defeat me? You and what army?" Cue choppers rising up from the side of the building and your commander pointing at your brother and his forces as your backup leaps down to help you in the final battle. If you don't save your former boss you have to face your brother as a giant monster.
Over the radio in the second mission of Saints Row: The Third:
Philippe Loren: I am going to cut your disrespectful tongue from your mouth.
Johnny Gat: Oh yeah? You and how many of your... [beat] Oh, that many.
A varient can happen in Rome: Total War, where by way of an ambasador unit and lots of money, you can bribe rival armies of your side, effectively going to quote the Funny page....
It's like the other Romans are saying "You and what army?" only for you to say "Me and YOUR army!"
"Nightmare Harvest", a user-made mod for Shadowrun Returns, features a hilarious example. For context, the player has just accepted the offer of immense power from a nigh-omnipotent dragon, and is now facing a huge squad of cops intent on killing them. This is one way the conversation can pan out.
Lone Star Leader: Kill me? You and what army?
Player: This army. [snaps fingers]
Lone Star Leader: .......
Lone Star Mook: .......
Lone Star Leader: Is something going to happen?
Player: I was sort of hoping it would, yeah.
Lone Star Leader: Uh....you know you have to set that up in advance, right?
During a mission in Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves, Murray has to protect the team's plane from getting destroyed by Muggshot. You end up having to face an endless army of mooks until you beat Muggshot himself (all while trying to protect the plane).
Muggshot: Greetings, troglodytes! Didn't think I forgot about Mesa City, did ya? I figured you jerks let me smash up ya aeroplane and we're even!
Murray: You and what army, dumb-guy!?
Muggshot: Army? Oh yeah. Okay boys, I paid you off good enough. Time to crack some skulls!
Star Wars: The Old Republic: The Sith Warrior storyline on Nar Shaddaa gives an option for two variations when you fight Lord Rathari. He says a version of the phrase when he calls in his bodyguards to kill you rather than face you in a fair fight. You can One-Man Army the fight with your companion, or if you spared the lives of a Republic Special Forces unit you met earlier, you can arrange to call them in as backup of your own.
In Star Wars Starfighter, Nym and Vana Sage have this exchange after Vana had sold him out:
Nym: You and whose army?
Vana: Yours.
Surprise Attack have the Space Police player protagonist delivering this to the terrorist leader. But turns out, the bad guys do have an army.
Terraria: One of the achievements in-game is titled this, which requires you to have nine minions at once.

Web Animation

DEATH BATTLE!; "Ultron VS Sigma":
Ultron: [Ultron makes his intro by crushing Vile underneath him, making the other Mavericks nervous] Hello, everyone! I'll accept your unconditional surrender now!
Sigma: At the risk of sounding cliché... [teleports into the battlefield to confront Ultron] You and what army?
Ultron: Haha! [Ultron summons his army of Ultron Drones and Sigma's Mavericks engage them in battle as the fight begins]
OverSimplified has this exchange between Benito Mussolini and Italian King Victor Emmanuel III:
Mussolini: Make me Prime Minister or I'll make me Prime Minister.
King Victor Emmanuel III: You and what army?
Mussolini: This army! [pan out to reveal a massive crowd behind Mussolini]
King Victor Emmanuel III: Fair enough.
Red vs. Blue has this asked just before the page image for Hidden Army Reveal occurs. ("Well, I guess I walked right into that one.")

Webcomics

Bob and George: Bob's army of Robot Masters. It's pretty big.
El Goonish Shive has Gerald, ex-not-quite-boyfriend of Nanase who threw a tantrum on account of meeting her on a double date. When told off by the third party, he slipped into "tough guy" posturing and uttered this one. He only had to shift focus...
Erfworld
- Type One:
  Decrypted Ansom: We will conquer the whole world.
  Parson: Oh, c'mon. "Conquer the world." Right, with what—
  [Wanda reanimates a massive crowd with the Arkenpliers]
  Parson: —army.
- Played with in the beginning of Book 2; Ansom, now Decrypted and working for Gobwin Knob, has approached Jetstone with a surrender offer while ostensibly backed by his usual choice of units: a horde of Infantry backed up by some Siege units. Ossomer mocks him for using the same old tactics;
  Ossomer: You made it easy! Bringing your usual siege-heavy infantry assault? Come now, Ansom. Someday, you must develop some tactical imagination!
  Ansom: [to one of his "soldiers"] Dispel the veil.
  [the siege units are revealed to be dwagons, and there are now archons among the infantry]
This trope is used in George the Dragon as King Dale the Lobster attempts to dismiss a threat from another kingdom.
In Girl Genius, the "army" is the one with the comeback: "Oh... that would be me."
Played with in Life and Death, here. Not an army, but a giant squid, and the person doing the asking is already highly aware of the squid, but was just trying to make a joke.
minus.: When the green-haired girl accidentally hits a grown-up with her frisbee, he decides to take it from her and taunts her and minus with the phrase. Then minus demonstrates why you don't want to ask such a question of a Reality Warper. Then minus hits him with the frisbee again and excitedly asks him to say "you and what army" again, but he just nervously hands it back and runs away.
Played with in A Modest Destiny.
Maxim: You and who's army?
Morris: Why, the army of Ninjas I brought along. Actually, I'm suprised you didn't seem them stand behi— (turns around and sees Maxim performed his trademark Decoy Getaway while Morris was looking at the ninja) Poop.
Parodied in the webcomic Patchwork Heroes.
Guard captain: [to prisoners] All of you. The Emperor commands your presence?
Adam: Him and what army?
Guard captain: Um... the Muroshi army.
Tarn: Adam...
Adam: I'm sorry, it just slipped out.
Schlock Mercenary:
- In one strip, it's a business-card which explains exactly what army, but it still has much the same effect.
- The first variant is employed straight in another strip. Given that the character asked was a general in the UNS military, they really should have seen that one coming.
A recent Vexxarr strip has the title alien ask this of his former-minion-turned-robotic-space-pirate. Turns out he actually had some very polite Mecha-Mooks waiting in the wings. Maybe not the world's most intimidating army, but still effective enough...
Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic: Strip 244: "Grave Reinforcements".
Captain Matheson: Who, you and your piddly little cog crew? Come now, Fang. We outnumber you three to one.
Arachne: Truuuuuuue. But do you outnumber them? [points at the army of undead walking out of the sea]

Web Videos

On the Dream SMP, Quackity gatecrashes the Red Banquet, where the Eggpire is sacrificing the attendees of the Banquet to the Egg. When the de facto leader of the Eggpire, BadBoyHalo, tells Quackity that he should have brought an army with him to stop them, Quackity responds that he has brought his Arch-Enemy with him, i.e. Technoblade, a renowned One-Man Army and his Hound Army.

Western Animation

Back to the Future: The Animated Series (in the episode "Go Fly a Kite") sees Jules respond to Verne's threat: "You and what body of organized servicemen?"
In one episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Green Arrow and Speedy confront Gentleman Ghost, who says they have no chance at stopping him. Speedy says "Oh, yeah? You and what army?". In a flash, Gentleman Ghost's army of ghostly skeletons storm out of the ground. Green Arrow's response?:
Green Arrow: Never ask that question, Speedy.
An episode of Ben 10 has this exchange when Dr. Animo announces that he plans on taking his over the world using a mutant Lepidopterran he created out of Ditto's DNA. Ben asks him this question and Animo responds "this one" as the Lepidopterran clones itself into an army just like Ditto.
Biker Mice from Mars: When Lawrence Limburger's Mooks and later Greasepit and Karbunkle went on a strike, he hired someone to train a better team of mooks. Unfortunately, the villain he called decided to overthrow Limburger, who decided to ask the question, and the betrayer showed the new mooks and answered: "YOUR army!"
Bounty Hamster. In the first episode a bounty hunter is about to kill Cassie and Marion, who threaten to set their army on him. He asks "Which army?" only to be told to Look Behind You. The bounty hunter refuses to fall for that one until he hears the large angry mob charging up behind him, and flees. Turns out the angry mob is after Cassie and Marion for making them crash their space station, so our heroes have to flee as well.
Used in a Celebrity Deathmatch episode, where "Weird Al" Yankovic asks that of Al Gore, who replies with "the United States Army". Of course, the guys who immediately pounce on "Weird Al" are Secret Service, not US Army.
Danger Mouse
- Danger Mouse uses this against his evil alter ego in "The Good, The Bad and the Motionless".
  Evil DM: Very clever. But you won't beat me that easy.
  DM: Won't I? Who's to stop me?
  Evil DM: I am.
  DM: Ha! You and whose army?
  Evil DM: Me and the army behind you! [3 demons appear behind DM]
- Greenback uses this in "The Dream Machine", a cloud programmed to make anything Penfold says appear:
  DM: I've come to take you in.
  Greenback: You, and... to use a childish phrase... whose army?
  DM: Funny you should say that, Greenback. Look at this! [a thousand Danger Mouse clones appear from the door] ...Penfold said "Danger Mouse" one thousand times!
Danny Phantom:
Jazz: You're toast!
Danny: Yeah? You and what toaster?
In the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Hot Buttered Eds":
Sarah: HEY!! Get outta our spot!
Eddy: You and whose army?
Edd: You'd think you would've learned by now, Eddy...
Family Guy:
- When the Griffins form their own nation-state in the episode "E. Peterbus Unum":
  Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school, but this guy won't let me.
  Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
  Chris: The U.S. Army. (points to tanks and soldiers on the other side of the fence)
  Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
- Also in Family Guy Presents: Laugh It Up, Fuzzball, Luke says "Oh yeah? You and what lightning hands?" to the Emperor. Predictably, the Emperor demonstrates the validity of Luke's sarcastic retort.
Gargoyles:
- The episode "Her Brother's Keeper" uses the same variation as used in The Real Ghostbusters (which happened to have the same writer, Michael Reaves).
- Also where Fang, the Token Evil Teammate of the Mutates, decides he's had enough of Talon's leadership. He sees an opportunity when he finds a hidden cache of advanced weaponry. When Fang announces his intent to overthrow Talon and Talon asks "You and what army?", Fang reveals his now heavily armed Mooks and answers "This one. And our first prisoner of war is you."
In an Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child episode called "Thumbelina", The bat groom asks the same question when Mario the butterfly crashes the wedding, Mario responds "My army of glow worms"
In Jimmy Two-Shoes, Beezy often asked this question to his father Lucius, ruler of Miseryville.
Beezy: [to Lucius] You never get tired of that one, do you?
The Karate Kid: Daniel provides an example of the "I'm the army" variant when he comes to the rescue of a kid being bullied by a pack of others. When head bully B.J. asks him what army he intends to back up his orders with, Daniel answers, "Who needs an army?" While he keeps his moves mostly in the defensive range, he does break B.J.'s skateboard when he tries to attack him with it. That gives them the idea.
Kim Possible. In "The Twin Factor", Drakken gives this trope when one of Kim's twin brothers threatens him. When the other twin promptly attacks, Drakken thinks he's facing a Clone Army.
In the Lavender Castle episode "Traitor", Dr. Agon says a variant of this:
Short Fred Ledd: [on viewscreen] So, Dr. Agon, sir...you'll soon have your slaves back!
Dr. Agon: You are going to capture the Paradox? (laughs) You and whose fleet?
Short Fred Ledd: [on viewscreen] Well, sir, you see, Tin Lizzy - that's my tin... (is cut off)
Dr. Agon: A tinpot pirate with a tin parrot...
The last episode of Megas XLR has some fun with this. When main character Coop pops the question, he is already inside the fortress that is clearly holding the army in question.
Gorrath: No doubt, that one. [points at Evil Coop's army]
In the Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero episode "I'm Still Super!" Captain Super Captain uses this line on his brother, Professor Evil Professor, only to look up and find himself surrounded by brainwashed superheroes.
Captain Super Captain: That's a pretty good army.
PJ Masks: In the episode "Halloween Tricksters", Catboy asks this to Luna Girl. Her response is to make 3 of her moths grow gigantic.
In The Real Ghostbusters, when fighting the Boogieman:
Egon: You go on ahead. I'll hold him off.
Peter: Yeah? You and what Starfleet?
Recess: Used in the episode "Gus' Last Stand" in a scene where Gus stands up to Gelman and the kids of Third Street try to step in to help him.
Used for a Pun in Rugrats:
Angelica: You and what army?
Susie: [makes a fist] Me and this arm-y!
The Sheep in the Big City episode "Baa-ck in Time" had General Specific asking this to his identical 15th century ancestor. The response is "My army, of course!"
The Simpsons
- Seen in the early episode "Bart the General".
Bart: Nelson, I'm afraid I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.
Nelson: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Bart: This one. [his water-balloon-armed troops emerge from their hiding place] COMMENCE SATURATION BOMBING!
- And a later one, "Mountain of Madness". Homer and Burns are in a cold cabin, slowly going mad. Eventually, Burns snaps and threatens to kill Homer. Homer responds with this... and then imagines an army of snowmen wearing army helmets supporting Mr. Burns. His response? Scream and claim he has special powers, Political powers. Then Burns imagines the ghosts of world leaders backing Homer up.
Used humorously in Skunk Fu!.
Baboon: [as he is recalling his army of ninja monkeys to retreat] This isn't over! I shall return with a bigger army and you will all pay!
Pig: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Rabbit: Pig, he just said.
Used as a throwaway gag in Space Ghost Coast to Coast, after one of Zorak's regular death threats against the host:
Space Ghost: Yeah right, Zorak, you and what army?
Zorak: Uh... the KISS Army!
KISS Army: [off-camera] YEAAAAHHH, DETROIT ROCK CITY!!!
Sofia the First special, "The Floating Palace" Cora, Oona's older sister asks "You and what army, Sven?"; then he whistles a group of seahorses proclaiming "This One, Cora".
SpongeBob SquarePants:
- In the episode "Plankton's Army", Plankton brings his extended family to attack the Krusty Krab via Synchronized Swarming.
  Plankton: [over megaphone] Attention Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking.
  Mr. Krabs: What?! [Plankton is standing outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone]
  Plankton: [over megaphone] I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! [Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton]
  Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug?
  Plankton: What army? What army?! Look around ya, Krabs! [scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something green]
  Mr. Krabs: ...Ya planted grass?
  Plankton: GRASS? [starts laughing maniacally, joined by his family]
  Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.
- In the episode "One Krab's Trash", when Mr. Krabs was trying to steal a rare hat from a skeleton, the skeleton demanded the hat back, to which Mr. Krabs asked this question. The skeleton's answer? "Only the army of the living dead."
Teen Titans; "The End, Part 1":
Beast Boy: Oh, yeah? You and what army? [an army of fire creatures appears; Beast Boy screams]
Cyborg: You just had to ask, didn't ya?
Seen in The Tick before a Mad Scientist attacks with a horde of elephant, mongols and ninja.
In The Transformers, Megatron using this line while smacking Starscream around is actually what gave the latter the idea of building the Combaticons, converting abandoned WWII military vehicles into Decepticons.
Xiaolin Showdown, when Jack Spicer arrives at the temple to distract the monks while Chase Young goes after the Eagle Scope Shen Gong Wu. He announces his intention to take the temple, and the following dialogue ensues;
Raimundo: Oh Yeah? You and what army?
Jack Spicer: I was hoping you'd say that... [a bunch of monkeys appear]

Real Life

Sometime in 1944-5 Josef Stalin famously snorted "And how many divisions has he?" upon receiving a communique from Churchill saying that the allied powers 'had to be mindful of the Vatican's power'. While the Vatican had of course fielded large armies containing the equivalent of multiple divisions, especially during its medieval attempts to conquer other Italian states, it had not done so since 1870 - when virtually all its remaining territory had been annexed by the Kingdom of Italy - and in fact did not have a single soldier in 1944-45: Said 'power' was purely moral-spiritual, such as when the Pope had urged obedience to and later (in 1943) defiance of Mussolini's Fascist regime. Interestingly enough Pope John Paul II did, however, reinforce Poland's natural inclination to leave the Warsaw Pact when Gorbachev announced that its members were free to leave.
In this spoof PSA, the Massachusetts Police are fighting the delinquent menace of Monster Clowns with their Clown Patrol car. This leads to the inevitable Clown Car gag when this trope is given.

You and What Army?

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You and What Army?

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