"There'd better not be a bunch of your friends behind us, because that's one of the oldest gags in the book!"
— Joe, Two Evil Scientists
"Fuck the Pope! How many divisions has he got?"
— Josef Stalin (to Pierre Laval, when urged to tolerate Catholicism to appease The Pope)
Director: I was not asking. If you do not return Player to me, I will come and take him by force.
Chet: Whatever bitch, how do you plan on doing that?
Director: With the army standing right outside your door.
Chet: Aw, fuck!
Chet: Whatever bitch, how do you plan on doing that?
Director: With the army standing right outside your door.
Chet: Aw, fuck!
Green-haired girl: Hi, sorry about that. Can I have the frisbee back?
Man: NO.
Green-haired girl: Why not?
Man: Kids who can't control their toys shouldn't be playing with them.
Green-haired girl: minus, he won't give me the frisbee back.
Man: Why are you telling her for? Do you think your little friend will be able to take it from me? You and what army, kid?
[minus makes an army appear with her powers. The man sheepishly returns the Frisbee.]
minus: hee hee hee hee hee~ HA HA HA HA HA HA
[...]
Man: Huh? Um... well here's your frisbee kid. Sorry my... head got in the way again.
minus: Ask me if you think I can take it from you and then say, "you and what army" again!
Man: What? No, listen, take your stupid frisbee and stay the hell away from me alright?
Man: NO.
Green-haired girl: Why not?
Man: Kids who can't control their toys shouldn't be playing with them.
Green-haired girl: minus, he won't give me the frisbee back.
Man: Why are you telling her for? Do you think your little friend will be able to take it from me? You and what army, kid?
[minus makes an army appear with her powers. The man sheepishly returns the Frisbee.]
minus: hee hee hee hee hee~ HA HA HA HA HA HA
[...]
Man: Huh? Um... well here's your frisbee kid. Sorry my... head got in the way again.
minus: Ask me if you think I can take it from you and then say, "you and what army" again!
Man: What? No, listen, take your stupid frisbee and stay the hell away from me alright?
— minus., strip 98 (pictured on the main page)
Evil Chancellor: Seize the rebels!
Jack Rakan: You really think you've got the forces for that?
Chancellor: Do I have the necessary forces? You Fool!. The guards for this event are more numerous than those you see here. There are two entire fleets stationed over a surrounding area of tens of kilometres, not to mention elite troops numbering over three thousand. You may be powerful, but even you cannot...
[Ala Rubra powers up]
Jack Rakan: Like I said. Are you seriously telling me you think that's gonna be enough? *cracks knuckles*
Chancellor: Wh... What?!
[Ala Rubra starts small-scale war]
Jack Rakan: You really think you've got the forces for that?
Chancellor: Do I have the necessary forces? You Fool!. The guards for this event are more numerous than those you see here. There are two entire fleets stationed over a surrounding area of tens of kilometres, not to mention elite troops numbering over three thousand. You may be powerful, but even you cannot...
[Ala Rubra powers up]
Jack Rakan: Like I said. Are you seriously telling me you think that's gonna be enough? *cracks knuckles*
Chancellor: Wh... What?!
[Ala Rubra starts small-scale war]
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
Angelica: You and what army?
Suzie: [raises her arm] Me and THIS arm-y!
Suzie: [raises her arm] Me and THIS arm-y!
Messenger: He's marching south.
NiVom: Into Hypatia? He and what army?
Messenger: That's just it, my Tyr. Ours.
NiVom: Into Hypatia? He and what army?
Messenger: That's just it, my Tyr. Ours.
Ben: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Caster: [chuckling] Why, this one. [summons her skeleton minions]
Ben: I really have to stop jinxing myself.
Caster: [chuckling] Why, this one. [summons her skeleton minions]
Ben: I really have to stop jinxing myself.
Bully: You and what army?
Daniel: Who needs an army?
Daniel: Who needs an army?
Thor: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!
[Hundreds of Ultron drones swarm the Avengers]
Steve Rogers: You had to ask...
Ultron: This is the best I can do.
[Hundreds of Ultron drones swarm the Avengers]
Steve Rogers: You had to ask...
Ultron: This is the best I can do.
Locus: Surrender now and I promise only to kill the mercenary.
Grif: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Locus: [as Fed soldiers uncloak behind him] The Federal Army of Chrous.
Grif: Well, I guess I walked right into that one.
Grif: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Locus: [as Fed soldiers uncloak behind him] The Federal Army of Chrous.
Grif: Well, I guess I walked right into that one.
— Red vs. Blue, Season 11, Episode 17 "Ready...Aim..."
Tucker: Yeah. You and what army?
Temple: So glad you asked.
Surge: Reds assemble! Blues deploy!
[trumpets play as the Zealots enter]
Simmons: God damn it. Every time we say that they always end up having an army!
Temple: So glad you asked.
Surge: Reds assemble! Blues deploy!
[trumpets play as the Zealots enter]
Simmons: God damn it. Every time we say that they always end up having an army!
— Red vs. Blue, Season 15, Episode 14 "True Colors"
"I was hoping you'd ask me that!"
— Jack Spicer, responding to this question with an army of monkeys
Soldier: By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to... [starts shrinking back as Shrek looms] place you both under arrest, and... [whimpering] transport you to a designated resettlement facility?
Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army?
(Soldier turns to see his entire squad of knights has bailed)
Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army?
(Soldier turns to see his entire squad of knights has bailed)
— Shrek
Klumph: Surrender yourself now, and we won't have to sneak up there!
Diddy: Oh, yeah? Ahahahaha! You and what army?
[Kritters cock their firearms inside their barrels]
Diddy: The army of misfit barrels. (to Baby DK) I told you they weren't just a nightmare!
Diddy: Oh, yeah? Ahahahaha! You and what army?
[Kritters cock their firearms inside their barrels]
Diddy: The army of misfit barrels. (to Baby DK) I told you they weren't just a nightmare!
— Uncle Al's Donkey Kong Country Abridged
Sasha: Ha! Some general you are. Where's your army?
Yunan: I had an army once...
(Yunan proceeds to cut a bunch of mannequins and trees in the forest.)
Yunan: ...they slowed me down.
Sasha: Okay... we're leaving now!
Yunan: I had an army once...
(Yunan proceeds to cut a bunch of mannequins and trees in the forest.)
Yunan: ...they slowed me down.
Sasha: Okay... we're leaving now!
Cab Driver: That'll be thirteen-fifty, boys.
Nick: I thought the captain paid for this in advance?
Cab Driver: What, you think I look like a limo service?
Nick: You wanna know what I think you look like? I think you look like a big, fat pushover.
Cab Driver: You think you can take me? You and whose army?
Shep: Captain Tagon's army. We're space mercenaries. [presents business card] Here's our card.
Cab Driver: You see, that's why I always asks about these things. Yer pre-paid boys. Out you go!
Nick: I thought the captain paid for this in advance?
Cab Driver: What, you think I look like a limo service?
Nick: You wanna know what I think you look like? I think you look like a big, fat pushover.
Cab Driver: You think you can take me? You and whose army?
Shep: Captain Tagon's army. We're space mercenaries. [presents business card] Here's our card.
Cab Driver: You see, that's why I always asks about these things. Yer pre-paid boys. Out you go!
Plankton: Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab!
Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug?!
Plankton: What army? What army? Look around ya, Krabs! (zoom out to Plankton's relatives surrounding the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: ...ya planted grass?
Plankton: Grass?! (laughs evilly; the others follow suit)
Mr. Krabs: ...uh-oh.
Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army, bug?!
Plankton: What army? What army? Look around ya, Krabs! (zoom out to Plankton's relatives surrounding the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: ...ya planted grass?
Plankton: Grass?! (laughs evilly; the others follow suit)
Mr. Krabs: ...uh-oh.
Loki: I have an army.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
