"I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me! I just want it back!"Once upon a time, she was a genius with dreams, pursued by everyone, one of the guys, or content in screwing people over. Then you came into the picture, and she hates you for it. You might be a decent kid. A prodigy even. But that doesn't matter to the one that raised you. You stripped her of her goals in life. Whether or not that belief they hold has any factual basis doesn't matter, for your caregiver has become the Resentful Guardian. They may feel love and protection towards the child but they will have one eye on the past and what they could have been. They'll make attempts to get some of that old life back and it will end up with some neglect of the child; could lead to a case of I Have No Son entirely. This can often be the basis for an entire film: a person gets lumbered with a child via family death or similar and so they have to go on a personal journey of connecting with the child and learning to give up some of their old life's hopes and dreams to raise them properly. Expect some timetable clash between a job prospect and a play recital or baseball game. At an extreme end, the resentment may build up to loathsome levels. They may or may not go the full hog into Abusive Parents but it will be obvious to those around them that it will lead to some level of neglect. Here then, the focus is more on the child trying to get some happiness away from their parent. If the child was adopted by the guardian, an Adoption Diss, up to an including saying that adopting them was a mistake, is a common insult for them to subject to the child to. Compare Maternal Death? Blame the Child, where the guardian (usually a father) resents the child because the mother had died giving birth to said child or for reasons otherwise.
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Anime & Manga
- The main characters' aunt from Grave of the Fireflies. Then again, considering the time and setting, it's understandable.
- In Paradise Kiss, George's mom Yukino complains that George's birth ended her modeling career.
- One Piece: Nico Robin's aunt, Roji, was not at all pleased about taking in her niece, who was the daughter of her husband's sister Olvia, excluding her from family outings and forcing her to do chores. Robin's uncle seemed to care about her more, but it's unclear how much he tried to offset or prevent his wife's mistreating Robin, if at all.
- Gendo Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. As far as he sees it, if Shinji had never been born, his wife probably wouldn't have basically committed suicide in order to become a component of a Humongous Mecha so that Shinji could interface with it. It still doesn't justify the utter Hell that he put Shinji and others through, and Gendo himself acknowledges it at the end of his life.
- Monster has Con Man Otto Heckel being ordered by Tenma to be with Dieter, much to his dismay.
- Elfen Lied has Mayu. Her own mother slaps her in the face when Mayu tells her about her stepfather molesting her. She only sees Mayu as competition.
- Lucy's caretakers at the orphanage are resentful of the fact that they have to take care of a sick child.
- A one-shot opponent in Kidou Tenshi Angelic Layer was a girl named Maria. Her childhood mostly consisted of having to take care of her sick younger brother, leaving her too busy to go outside and play with the other kids. As a result, her only "friend" was her Angel, Tsubaki. While she did resent this, she still cared about her brother, and a You Are Not Alone speech from Misaki during their match was all she needed to make her into a more cheerful person.
- Mazinger Z: Dr. Hell's mother hated him and regarded him as a burden and a nuisance, and she made her contempt very clear to everyone, including her son. She constantly complained that she never wanted to be a mother and her life would be happier without him. Her daily abuse was one of the factors that drove Hell crazy.
- In A Devil and Her Love Song, Maria believes her mother hated and committed suicide because of her, due to a childhood memory of her mother yelling that she had no friends because of Maria. It's later revealed that this was not true, as proven when Maria's father recites letters her mother wrote, lovingly detailing Maria's childhood.
- Fruits Basket has several examples.
- Akito's mother only sees her daughter as competition for her husband's affections, to the point where she demands Akito be raised as a boy.
- Kyo is hated by his father for driving his mother to suicide as a child. It's later implied that it was the father's emotional abuse that actually caused the suicide.
- When Tohru briefly lives with her paternal aunt, uncle, and cousin, her aunt and uncle reveal they hired a private detective to watch her before she moved in, just because they didn't want any improper behavior she might have engaged in to reflect badly on them (in the process accusing Tohru's beloved mother of being nothing but a criminal, despite spending most of her life as a devoted parent). When they start throwing around suggestive comments about Tohru living with three unmarried men, even Tohru seems ready to lose her temper with them.
- Kyoko's father resented his daughter for her delinquent lifestyle, which eventually lead to him disowning her. He's called out on this by Katsuya, who points out that one shouldn't drop parenthood the moment it becomes inconvenient. Inverted when Kyoko gets pregnant and fears that her child may end up so miserable that it would resent her.
- In Pet Shop of Horrors, one chapter ends with Count D having a harassed mother go to the back of his shop for a new pet. Instead she finds a vision of her own mother, who quickly begins beating her and screaming how it was her daughter's fault she could never bring men home, as none of them wanted to raise someone else's child.
Not one day goes by when I didn't wish I had the abortion! Well, better late than never!
- Rorshach's mother in Watchmen. "I should have had that abortion!"
- Squee's father in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Squee!. Probably his mom, too, though it's implied her neglectful parenting is more because she's a drunk and a drug addict than anything.
- In Violine, Marushka was one to Francois. She later does the same to Violine, even though she pretends to be her mother.
- In Back To Us, Adrien is sent to Milan after his father's death and exposure as the supervillain Hawk Moth, to live with his mother's sister and her family in Milan. While they treated him well, Adrien eventually found out that they didn't care about him and were only afraid that he'd turn out like his father (not understanding how the Miraculous worked).
Film - Animated
- The movie Despicable Me plays with this trope. A classic Evil Overlord adopts 3 children as part of one of his schemes to defeat his archnemesis. The conflict between his schemes and raising the children defines the movie.
- Storks: With her beacon destroyed, the storks were forced to raise Tulip. Hunter makes it clear that he views her as a burden to the company and wants her fired on her 18th birthday, because that's the earliest they can legally get away with it.
Film - Live Action
- Ollie from Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl ended up as a single father when his wife died in childbirth, he then lost his job when screwing up at work from the overloaded stress soon after. He then spends seven years working as a manual laborer, living at his dad's place, raising his daughter pretty damn well in fact but then he gets to thinking he wants his old public relations job back. Cue struggle to convince his family, cue arguments with daughter who doesn't want to move, cue page quote (wow!), cue moment where, after meeting with an incidental stranger (who in this case is Will Smith, not played by, is Will Smith) realizes he should run back and attend his daughter's musical performance instead of going to his job interview.
- Raising Helen is about a woman named Helen who receives guardianship of her recently deceased sister's three kids, but as it turns out she's the one who ends up growing up in the end (hence the inversion in the title). She's got a high flying job at a modeling agency, a cool pad in Manhattan and is contractually obliged to party at 3 am in the morning. Next thing we know, she's moved to Queens, is handling school runs and is sleeping with a Lutheran minister to get them into a good school (note, cause and effect may not be as stated).
- The Babadook contains shades of this, as Amelia's husband died en route to the hospital, leaving her to raise a troubled young son on her own.
- In the film adaptation of Beautiful Creatures, when Lena asks her mother if she ever loved her, her mother first says she can't remember, then insists that no mother really ever loves their daughter.
"It's not easy you know, pushing another female out of your body, a younger, more perfect version of yourself with every option and no mistakes."
- The short documentary Autism Every Day, produced by Autism Speaks, has footage of misbehaving autistic children and their parents talking about how terrible their lives are with their autistic children. There is so much said about autistic children making life difficult for the parents that it is hard to come up with a standout quote to put here. One thing especially notable about this piece, though, is the mother who says that she was sitting in a car for 15 minutes and had contemplated driving off a bridge, killing herself and her autistic daughter, but didn't because she had a non-autistic child, and said it with barely any significant emotion. In the clip you can see her seven-year-old autistic daughter in the background, and if you pay attention you can see that the girl's movements correspond to the mother's words in such a way that you know she understands what's being said (about as well as any seven-year-old would). Even more notable in that apparently nobody called CPS on her, and she left Autism Speaks after this.
- Coira's nurse and caretaker in White as Snow hates and resents her charge. Ignoring the fact that if Coira did not exist, the nurse would not have a cushy, relatively easy job, but a very labour intensive one in the kitchens or scullery.
- The Dursleys of Harry Potter are like this to their nephew Harry acting with nothing but fear that revelation of what he is could ruin their quiet little Middle England life.
- For Mrs. Dursley, this resentment is based partly on the fact that her sister was a witch and got to go to Hogwarts and she didn't, which she attempts to mask and compensate for through excessive middle-class snobbery. Again, no excuse for keeping an innocent child in a cupboard for a good part of his early life.
- Albus Dumbledore is in a different way an example, according to back story in the final book. His parents died right around the time he graduated from Hogwarts, and despite being a prodigy he was forced to stay home to raise his younger brother Aberforth and sister Ariana. Then, Gellert Grindelwald came into the picture...
- This is an interesting example of this guardianship being self-inflicted. Aberforth was taking care of Ariana back when Albus was in Hogwarts, but once he graduated, Albus insisted he take over the job of caring for Ariana so Aberforth could finish his study at Hogwarts. Albus was more angry about feeling his potential being squandered, but he also cared for his younger sibilings and thus wanted Aberforth to finish Hogwarts.
- Ingrid of White Oleander is brutally frank with her daughter Astrid about feeling this in their final confrontation. "...clinging to me like a spider..." is a quote that references toddler Astrid, and sums up the overall feel of the rant.
- In the first book of The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Dr. Underwood resents having to put up with an apprentice, although apparently every magician is expected to do the same to ensure the production of new competent magicians. His instruction technique mostly consisted of shoving him in a room with a lot of books and telling him to get on with it. His apprentice Nathaniel resents him in turn for being a failure as a teacher, magician, and parental substitute, and considers private study more useful than his infrequent and glacial-paced lessons.
- Before the start of Galaxy of Fear, Hoole took in two orphans from Alderaan, Tash and Zak, out of a feeling of obligation - he's technically their uncle, since his brother and their aunt were married - and to assuage feelings of guilt for a world he helped destroy. Since he's very aloof and uncommunicative early in the series he leaves most interaction with them to his research assistant DV-9, who was built for far more complicated and intellectual tasks than babysitting and giving lessons to twelve-and-thirteen year olds, and lets them know this regularly. All the same, both do care for their charges, and come to lose their resentment over time.
"Zoology lessons. I have the brain capacity of a supercomputer and I'm giving zoology lessons."
- In For Love of Evil, Parry (who later becomes Satan) is adopted as a baby by a sorcerer who had it forced on him by the Church and lord of the manor. At first, he is this trope (because the sorcerer wanted to sacrifice Parry in a spell), but that changes significantly as Parry grows older.
- James' aunts from James and the Giant Peach
- In The Titan's Curse, some dialog from Nico's big sister Bianca implies that this, or at least a Downplayed form, is why she joined the hunters—she wanted to know what it was like to not always be looking out for Nico.
Live Action TV
- One Life to Live Promiscuous troublemaker Marty Saybrooke is revealed to have been raised by her Aunt Kiki (her father's sister) after her parents were killed in a sailing accident. Given Aunt Kiki's The Ghost status, it soon becomes apparent that Marty was pretty much left to raise herself and that the only reason her aunt even took on the job is that being named as Marty's guardian gave her access to her trust fund.
- All over in Once Upon a Time.
- Regina wanted a child. Wanted one badly enough to kill one man and try to take his kid. The kid narrowly escaped. Then she gets Henry, but Wanting Is Better Than Having, and when children grow up, they aren't so helpless and dependent. She chronically neglected him, use Gaslighting to try and get him to ignore the town's weirdness, drug him to a shrink to try and keep him in line, and resented him for growing up.
- Rumpelstiltskin's dad? Habitual drunk, thief, and gambler who dropped him off with the local seamstresses while he stole enough to get drunk and only picked up his kid when he had to. He described having a child to being saddled with a parasite that devoured his hopes and dreams. So, the first opportunity he got when he arrived in Neverland? Try to kill off his kid and accept the island's gift of returning him to boyhood as Peter Pan.
- Emma was raised by Department of Child Disservices, shuffled from one of these to the next, foster "parents" who were only out for a paycheck and hated the part about having to take care of a kid to get the paycheck.
- In Final Fantasy XIII, Lightning starts off as this towards Hope Estheim, but she eventually evolves into an effective Parental Substitute. Odin really helps this along.
*Hope trips along a bridge after a long hike*
Lightning: This isn't working. I mean, you're a liability. You'll only slow me down.
Lightning: I'm sorry, but I can't protect you when- *grunts, collapses to knees, l'Cie brand glows through uniform*
Hope: You can't just leave me here! You gotta take me with you!
Lightning: ENOUGH! The whole world is against us. I can barely keep myself alive; let alone some helpless kid! *another grunt* I don't have time to baby you. You want to get tough? Do it on your own! *grunts one last time before rolling out of circle as Odin emerges*
*Hope is laying back on his rear and hands, visibly frightened of Odin*
Lightning: This cannot be happening. *Hope cowers as Odin prepares to cut him down* Look out! *parries Odin, prepares for battle as Hope rises to a stand*
- Persona 5: Makoto Niijima's older sister Sae was Promoted To Parent after their father's death. While Sae does love Makoto, she also views her as a burden and tells her as such in a fit of anger, something she immediately regrets.
- Futaba Sakura's uncle always felt like the The Unfavorite compared to her more intelligent mother. Tormenting her to try and get back at his deceased sister.
- Higurashi: When They Cry has many examples, mostly pertaining to Satoko When her parents die, she's forced into her aunt and uncle's household, which causes them both to resent her and abuse her. The aunt loves to whip her and call her names while the uncle forces her to be his slave and go out and buy alcohol for his buddies.
- Whenever Shion is asked by her love interest to take care of Satoko, she does not do so because she hates her for taking up all of his time and interests. She later brutally murders her by stabbing her to death on a cross and then later regrets it.
- Umineko: When They Cry has three such examples, since the story is heavy on Parents as People.
- Rosa Ushiromiya is sometimes this — and sometimes she actually is the BEST MOM EVER. It says a lot about her relationship with Maria that it flip flops so often.
- Natsuhi Ushiromiya certainly felt this way about the adopted child she had been given from her fathr-in-law-Kinzo's orphanage, since she felt that being given the child due to being unable to have her own was an insult to her womanhood. As a result she had the child and the servant carrying it pushed off a cliff, which directly led to the creation of the story's Big Bad.
- Eva ends up becoming this to her niece Ange after Eva is the Sole Survivor of the Rokkenjima massacre and takes up custody of Ange, who wasn't on the island at the time the killings took place, and made no secret of the fact that she wished Ange was her own son George, who had been killed. Later played with when it turns out Eva was protecting Ange from the Awful Truth of Rokkenjima, which was that Ange's mother and father were the true culprits behind it. After giving up on having an healthy relationship with Ange, Eva decided to save her from hating her own parents... by directing all of Ange's hate on herself.
- Lady Carmosa in Cinders acts like this to her step daughter to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the choices of the player.
- In Trials and Tribulations, Dahlia Hawthorne suggests this was the case with her father, saying that it was easy to convince him to get rid of one of his three daughters because fewer children meant more money. Given her character, it's unclear how accurate this is.
- Lifelong sexual hedonist Charisma of Penny and Aggie had Marshall unexpectedly as a teenager. Although she sees more than adequately to his material and educational needs, even paying for private school, she views him as an obstacle "put on this earth to slow me down." Some time after Nick, the first man she truly loves, overhears this outburst, he asks her to look him in the eye and assure him she didn't really mean that. She can't.
- In Homestuck, Rose and her mother hold up a passive-aggressive oneupmanship contest with each other. Rose sees her mother as being resentful in nature, and her somewhat quirky personality as hateful. May or may not be a huge misunderstanding on her part.
- In Drowtales, Syphile hates that she was saddled with the infant Ariel in order to "prove herself" after earning the ire of her adopted mother Quain'tana for getting tainted. Syphile wasn't up to the task and did the bare minimum to raise Ariel when not being outright abusive to her, to the point that when then-10-years-old Ariel was asked what she wanted most in the world, she unsurprisingly answered "kill Syphile."
- Non-parental example: In Stand Still, Stay Silent Sigrun is not happy at all when she finds out that the civilian who hid in one of the expedition's food supply crates is going to have to stay with her crew until the end of their mission. When her employer suggests fiding a way to make him useful, her first thought is "Troll decoy". She gets better about it within two days, as when a troll actually attacks the non-immune civilian, she shields him with her arm. Being The Immune makes the bite much less of a life risk for Sigrun, but the resulting wound is still quite nasty. Also, as she is getting the wound treated, she notices that the whole thing being such a close call has caused the Terrified of Germs civilian to think he may have been infected anyway and makes sure to have The Medic reassure him on the subject.
- Family Guy: Lois Griffin has been shown to have feelings of contempt towards her oldest daughter Meg for being unable to have an abortion. Instead she is now stuck raising her.
- Lois has actually made it clear in several episodes that she never wanted any of her children, even claiming that she attempted to miscarry Chris before she chickened out half way.
- And yet the moment a Straw Feminist mocks her three kids... cue the catfight.
- Peter himself once confessed he didn't like any of his children.
- Moral Orel: Clay Puppington AND his father. The former actively sees family as a curse and the latter never even wanted children to begin with and was forever embittered towards Clay after he caused his mother to die of a heart attack.
- Homer from The Simpsons slips in and out of this. While he can be openly contemptuous of Bart (from strangling him to calling him a mistake to his face), his treatment of his daughters is much better, though he wasn't looking forward to Maggie since it cost him his dream job (he got better when he first laid eyes on Maggie). That said, he once drunkenly complained about his family on a television show reminiscent of HBO's Taxi Cab Confessions.
- Abe Simpson also can swing in and out of it as well.
Abe: If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 38 years ago, you'd have never been born and I'd have been happy! You were an accident!
- Abe Simpson also can swing in and out of it as well.
- Bojack Horseman's parents hold this view of their son - his father was the victim of a Shotgun Wedding, while his mother hates Bojack for saddling her with his father. However, after reading Bojack's tell-all biography, his mother eventually calls him up to apologize for her treatment of him as well as the fact that he basically inherited his parents' natural affinity for misery. Furthermore, we find out Beatrice's and Butterscotch's Freudian Excuses in Season 4.
- Beth from Rick and Morty almost ended up having an abortion when she was pregnant with Summer. Even years later both Jerry and Beth openly wondered about what might have been otherwise if they had instead taken a chance at their dreams, leaving poor Summer with an existential crisis. Thankfully, her little brother Morty, who has by now seen his share of messed up stuff, including replacing his now deceased alternate dimensional counterpart in the present universe, is there to comfort her.