- From part two of the Pilot, when they first hear Rousseau's message:
Charlie: That’s French! The French are coming! I’ve never been so happy to hear the French!
- Another Charlie moment, from the first part of the Pilot:
*singing one of his band's songs to Jack*
Charlie: You all everybody! You all every...
*irritated look from Jack*
- The 11th mobisode is a prime example.
- Jack's "diagnosis" of Sawyer in "Deus Ex Machina". After asking Sawyer many embarrassing questions about his sex life and possible STDs, Sawyer storms off. Then this happens:
Kate: I know he deserved it but—
Jack: He needs glasses.
- And later, after Sawyer has found a pair of glasses that work:
- Also from Sawyer, the episode where Aaron stops crying when hearing his voice, eventually leading to Sawyer reading a car magazine to make the baby sleep.
- "I collect soil samples."
- Hurley had quite a few of them in Season 1. For example, when he and Charlie are burying Ethan, and he thinks the body'll become a zombie:
Hurley: "Dude, I know how it works. This is gonna end with you and me running through the jungle, screaming and crying. He catches me first because I'm heavy... and I get cramps."
- Hurley instinctively throwing a Hot Pocket at Ben.
Ben: Hello Hugo.
Hurley: HYAA! *throws hot pocket at Ben*
- Followed by Ben's subtle but awesome look of "Seriously, did that just happen?"
- And who can forget in "Dave", when Hurley finally reaches his boiling point with Sawyer after he plays a cruel joke on him. A great fight breaks out as Hurley mercilessly drags Sawyer into a tent and punches him back with every nickname Sawyer ever gave him. The fight is finally broken up by Jin...after he spends a few moments watching all of this with utter delight.
- Rose tells Jack where to stick his Catch Phrase: "If you say 'Live together, die alone' to me, I'm going to punch you in the face."
- Even the usually pretty serious Jack, and during a serious situation too, has to admit it's a very funny line right away.
- The untimely demise of Dr. Leslie Arzt. Here's some advice, kids: if you're talking about how dangerously unstable old dynamite is, don't wave it around.
- "Dude... you have Arzt on you."
- In the "316", Jack, Kate, Sayid, Hurley, Sun and Ben are all on a plane headed back to the Island. The camera does a closeup on each of them, revealing them to be nervous, tense and worried. Except Ben, who's calmly reading a book.
Jack: How can you read?
Ben: (doesn't even look up) My mother taught me.
- You forgot this one:
Jack: What's going to happen to the other people on this plane?
Ben: (confused) Who cares?
- And just after 316 takes off, a cabin announcement informs the passengers that the plane's being flown by their old friend Frank, who happily exits the cockpit to say hi to Jack when the flight attendant tells him he's on board. "Small world, ain't it?" cracks Frank. Then he notices Kate...and Sayid...and Hurley...and Sun...and Ben...and looks back at Jack with an expression of dawning horror. "Wait a second," he says. "We're not going to Guam, are we."
- Ben gets a number of these of moments. In the fifth season finale
Locke: Can I ask you something?
Ben: (deadpan) I'm a Pisces.
- What makes these even funnier that these lines are Blatant Lies. Ben's mother didn't teach him to read because she died in childbirth, and he's not a Pisces because he was born in mid December. He just lies because it's what he does.
- Wait... confusion over whether Ben was born in December or late winter you say? Have fun with that one, Wild Mass Guessers.
- Though it's probably just Rule of Funny.
- Heck, most of the things Ben says are enough to put you in tears of laughter. Listing them all would take far too long... Michael Emerson recently said that there were quite a few times where he delivered lines as if he was in a comedy, even though no one else seemed to be.
- Pierre Chang quizzing Hurley to determine if he belongs in 1977 in "Follow the Leader":
Dr. Chang: Your friend Faraday said that you were from the future. I need to know if he was telling the truth.
Hurley: Dude, that's ridiculous.
Dr. Chang: What year were you born? What year?
Hurley: Uh... 1931?
Dr. Chang: You're 46?
Hurley: Yeah. Yes, I am.
Dr. Chang: So you fought in the Korean War?
Hurley: ...there's no such thing.
Dr. Chang: Who's the President of the United States?
Hurley: ... All right, dude, we're from the future. Sorry.
- Made funnier by Hurley's earlier insistence that he didn't know who the president was in 1977 and would never need to know.
- In the pilot, after Sawyer shot a polar bear:
Boone: That can't be a polar bear.
Group: It's a polar bear.
Shannon: Polar bears don't live in the jungle.
Charlie: Spot on.
Sayid: Polar bears don't live near this far south.
Boone: This one does.
Sawyer: Did. It did.
Kate: Where did that come from?
Sawyer: Probably bear village. *annoyed* How the hell do I know?
Kate: Not the bear, the gun.
- And then a bit later in that scene:
Sawyer: Saw a guy lying there with an ankle holster. So I took the gun. Thought it might come in handy. Guess what? I just shot a bear!
Kate: So why do you think he's a marshal?
Sawyer: Because he had a clip-on badge. *shows it* I took that too. Thought it was cool.
- Not long followed by Kate stealing his gun.
Kate: Does anybody know how to use a gun?
Sayid: Don't use the gun.
Kate: I want to take it apart.
(Sayid and Charlie go "oh".)
- In "Outlaws," Sawyer is repeatedly attacked by a boar, much to Sayid's amusement:
Sayid: What was he doing inside your tent?
Sawyer: It was staring at me. Then it came at me, so I hit it, and it ran off into the jungle.
Sawyer: [angry] You enjoying yourself?
- Miles' exasperation at Hurley's persisting complete lack of understanding of the fundamental principles of time travel in Whatever Happened, Happened:
Miles: *handing Hurley his gun* Shoot me. Please. Please?
Hurley: Ah-ha! I can't shoot you, because if you die in 1977, then you'll never come back to the island on the freighter 30 years from now!
Miles: I CAN die! Because, I've already COME to the island on the freighter! Any of us can die! Because this is our present!
- And Hurley's Summation in the S5 premiere, lampshading to hell and back the Continuity Lockout masterpiece the series has become.
- The part where Hurley is trying to get Sayid, who has been shot with horse tranquilizer, to a safe location manages to be hilarious, despite being tense. Like the part where Hurley puts sunglasses on unconscious!Sayid before going into the 7-11 to buy a large yellow t-shirt with a Shih-Tzu on it. Also, Hurley's mom once she finds Sayid on the couch:
Hurley's Mom: "Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch!?"
- Speaking of Hurley's mom, her reaction when he seizes a sold gold statue of Jesus to defend himself:
Hugo! Jesus Christ is not a weapon!
- Sawyer: "Oh, happy day! Here comes Dr. Giggles!"
- Any time Ben is forced to talk towards the end of Season Five. Michael Emerson once said in an interview that towards the end of Season Five, he began to treat the show as his own private little comedy. It shows.
Locke: See that back there?
Ben: (complete monotone) It's a door. How bout that.
- "Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to..."
- From the same episode: "Ben Linus, European history."
- Used coffee filters go IN THE TRASH, PEOPLE.
- When Ben is freed from digging his own grave by John Locke[[spoiler /the smoke monster]] and told to meet him to become the new protector of the island. John leaves, Ben pauses, looks at Ilana who is eating a Mango. [[Beat beat]]. Ben throws the make-shift shovel to one side and breaks into a Jack Sparrow run into the jungle.
- Ilana: Blowing up... well, I laughed. Stupid Ana Lucia zombie.
Ben: For the fourth time, I was out picking mangoes, and when I found her she was already unconscious. Why are you assuming that I'm lying?
Ilana: Because you're speaking.
- What does [the compass] do?
It points north, John.
- From the series finale:
FS Kate: Who died?
FS Desmond: A man named Christian Shephard.
FS Desmond: Seriously.
- Ben calls Frank to see how the plane's coming, Frank curtly disconnects him. Ben: "Sounds like they're making progress."
- "There's a lot of things I don't believe in, but I do believe in duct tape."
- Hurley: "Kinda true, dude. He's worse than Yoda."
- Sawyer had some great lines in the episode "The Last Recruit". Like saying Lapidus looks like a guy who walked off a Burt Reynolds set and later calling him “chesty.”
- Sawyer in the episode "Recon": "Take me to your leader."
- In the first season, when Hurley builds a golf course. This exchange of dialogue:
Jack: This is bad.
Michael: Yeah. I mean, I know what I would do, but... this has gotta be your call.
(So, you totally think they're talking about something really super serious, but REALLY...)
Jack: Okay...give me the seven iron.
(Yep, they're talking about golf clubs. Beedle-ee-bink-dee-bink, BOING.)
- Sawyer teaching Jin to say (in English) the only three things a woman should ever need to hear:
- From "Tricia Tanaka is Dead":
Sawyer: What's your problem, Jumbotron?
- "DON'T BOTHER ME."
"...Sounds like they're making progress."
- In the finale, when Sayid is waiting for Hurley in a van, and hears him suddenly open the trunk and throw something in:
Sayid: What was that?!
Hurley: That was Charlie.
- Or right before that:
Hurley: None of this is bringing back any memories, is it? You, me, tranquilizer gun...?
Sayid: You're insane!
- Later, in this same series of events, Charlie gets a great line.
Charlie: I was shot by a fat man.
- Miles in 6x15 "What They Died For" noting the rather interesting sense of time the characters deal with.
Miles Well, I lived in these houses 30 years before you did, otherwise known as last week.
- Hurley meets Miles, who immediately makes fun of his weight: "Oh, awesome. The ship sent us another Sawyer."
- Fridge Funny: go back and watch the scene in "Walkabout" where Michael asks Sun to babysit Walt through pantomime. It's completely hysterical when you know she understands everything he's saying.
- "We have two giant hamsters running on a massive wheel in our secret underground lair."
- Hurley takes a census, and is weirded out by Locke just saying he was in Australia "looking for something" and "it found me." Hurley then turns to a background extra and says "I know I already talked to you, but I need an excuse to get away."
- On The 23rd Psalm, when Eko tells Charlie to climb a tree while searching for the Beechcraft, an irritated Charlie replies, What if I don't, you gonna beat me with your Jesus Stick?. This troper was in stitches when he said this.
- In a mid season 1 episode, Boone saying that he doesn't feel comfortable in the jungle with a Red Shirt. Becomes a bit of a "Funny Aneurysm" Moment when Boone dies a few episodes later.
Therapist Tell me something you like about yourself
Hurley [...] I like... chicken.
Therapist That last one wasn't about youself.
Hurley I like that I like chicken?
Libby That's the third time we've been past that tree.
Hurley That's a ... different ... tree.
Hurley And we have arrived at the most amazing secret beach...
Libby Hurley, this is our beach. There's Jin. *camera pans over, Jin smiles at them*
- Charlie and his invisible peanut butter.
- The entirety of Sawyer's feud with the boar in "Outlaws".
- The deaths of Nikki and Paulo were very funny in a rather dark way.
- From the Jimmy Kimmel "Aloha To Lost" special, we have the Alternate Endings sketch, where the Lost cast partakes in hilarious Affectionate Parodies of Survivor, The Sopranos, and the famous All Just a Dream ending of Newheart.
- Another moment from the special: When Kimmel asks the guests if any of them took an item from the show, Jeremy Davies (Daniel Faraday) starts to say how he took the skinny tie he was currently wearing from costuming, but Terry O'Quinn suddenly pulls a knife out of his pocket, flips it open one handed, and calmly smiles while everyone laughs.
- The first thing Jimmy says to Harold Perrineau (Michael) is "First of all, thanks for killing Ana Lucia."
- The DVD commentaries lead to some hilarious moments as well:
- On "The Whole Truth", Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse said that they're still waiting for the people who run the "Got Milk?" ads to offer to do one with the iconic image of "Henry" saying, "You guys got any milk?"
- On "A Tale of Two Cities", Lindelof and Elizabeth Mitchell basically do a MST of the episode (they even point this out). Highlights include Jack's trophies, Dharma Initiative labels and French presses.
- LA X, Part 1 is also Lindelof and Cuse mostly doing an MST. Honorable mentions on how Lost would be changed if it had swearing, Lindelof trademarking "tap the bomb", and a Frank Lapidus calendar.
- On "I Do", Cuse mentions that Josh Holloway called him to rehearse the romantic scenes... and it just gets worse from there.
- And then there's the time when Evangeline Lilly became the first person to ever need to take a bathroom break while recording a commentary.
- The episode when Hurley steps on a sea urchin, before Jin really knows any English. For like five minutes Hurley yells at Jin to pee on his feet to alleiviate the pain, while gesticulating wildly at Jin's crotch. Jin is understandably a little confused and worried as he shouts back in Korean. The whole exchange is hilarious!
- The entire scene where Sawyer tries to explain the time travel to Jin. Jin's response is to yell at Sawyer in Korean, and request multi-lingual Charlotte to translate. Sawyer, misunderstanding, looks at Miles (who has Chinese heritage) and says "You heard the man, translate!"
Miles: Erm, he's Korean. I'm from Encino.
- It kind of reminds me of the scene from Mean Girls where Ms. Norbury assumes the new student from Africa is the one black girl in the class, it's hilarious because they're really not intending to be offensive! It also serves as a little call-back to Season 1 when Hurley kept referring to Jin and Sun as Chinese, instead of Korean.
- Frank's arrival. He climbs up a hill, and is greeted by the sight of a cow staring at him. It moos in his face and then walks off.
- The scene in Season 3 when Hurley finds Desmond in the jungle. Naked.
Hurley: So, like...the hatch blew off your underwear.
- In Season 3's Catch 22, Jin steals the show. He's just so excited to be going camping with everyone, despite the fact every other member of the group knows that's a cover story. The part where they're hanging around a campfire at night, and it pans over to Jin who has a flashlight under his face and is telling a scary story...in Korean!
Jin: (In a child's voice) '하느님, 감사합니다. 저는 갈고리 손인줄 알고 무서웠어요.' 그러니까 그 남자가 웃으면서 이 말 했지. (In a deeper voice) '하느님, 감사합니다. 저는 갈고리 손인줄 알고 무서웠어요.' 그러니까 그 남자가 웃으면서 이 말 했지...박혀 있다! note
- The season outtakes. Good God, the season outtakes!
- Just about any with Harold Perrineau.
(into payphone) I don't care! I'm gonna get my son back! (goes to hangup, then pulls the phone back up) And you stink in bed!
Don't tell me what I shoulda seen, man! Way back home, I'd bust a cap in yo ass, homie! For real, West Side!
- Speaking of Michael, in "Tabula Rasa", Michael and Walt get in a heated argument about Vincent, to which Michael relents to finding him as soon as the storm stops. The storm immediately stops.
- Then Michael, spooked by the rustling in the jungle, makes a run back to the beach and runs into a bathing Sun. He tries to stammer an explanation, then walks away nervously saying "I didn't see anything!"
- Michael venting his frustrations to a handcuffed Jin in season 1 after Jin tried to drown him for a watch.
"I'm not exactly having the best month of my life. I barely knew my son and now I've gotta be his daddy. And then to top it off, I have a deranged Korean guy trying to kill me! For what?! Look, I get it. Hm? Right? It's the watch. Mine broke. I found this in the wreckage and I figured, hey, why let a $20,000 watch go to waste - which is ridiculous, because time doesn't matter on a damn island!"
- The mobisode "Tropical Depression," where Arzt tells his backstory to Michael in a rather forced manner, saying how he met someone online and saved all his money to visit her in Australia, only for her to disappear on their date. You can just tell Michael is waiting for him to finish so he can leave.