- Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers: While all of the main characters on the series indulge from time to time, "Doc" Hartford could practically license his snark as a deadly weapon. Even the AI "Tweakers" he created are sarcastic.
Doc: (while jailed up in a dungeon) Dear Miss Etiquette. I'm a Galaxy Ranger with a serious problem. I'm about to be executed on a distant planet, and I have no idea about the proper attire. Can you advise me? Signed, Embarrassed.
- Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: Robotnik.
Coconuts: I only wanted to tell you I saw one of those F.O.U's - I mean, C.I.A's, uh, or C.O.D's...
Robotnik: Get to the point or your name will be M.U.D.
- Aladdin: The Series: Iago, Haroud and Mozenrath.
- Alvin and the Chipmunks:
- Simon in the 1980s cartoon version, though very subtly in The Alvin Show then when the 80’s series came around, got deadpan snarkier as the series went on, from occasionally snarky in the first couple of seasons to practically every response being sarcastic.
- Theodore had his moments as well.
- Anne and Suzie both have tendencies of this now and then in The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan, as does Henry when dealing with Stanley's antics.
- Animaniacs: While all of the Warner siblings could indulge in this a bit, Yakko was the standout.
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Frylock. But Master Shake, the resident douche, often doubles as one.
- Arthur: D. W. often switches between being the Deadpan Snarker and a Large Ham.
D.W.: (while at the Washington Monument) First we were down there looking up here, and now we're up here looking down there. What's the point?
- Avatar: The Last Airbender:
- Sokka initially fit this role like a glove, but as time went on, he developed into actually being the one to make the plans.
Katara: If it looks like trouble, we'll leave.
Sokka: Yeah, because we always leave before we get into trouble....
- Toph came in and was able to successfully fulfill, if not surpass him in, this role: "I don't know if you've noticed, but things don't always go so smoothly for our little gang." The creators actually comment on the DVD Commentary that she took the place Sokka had before he shifted to a livelier character from his voice-actor's performance.
Toph: "It looks just like him to me."
Sokka: "Thank you, I worked really... Why do you feel the need to do that?"
Sokka: "Time to take control of the ship. Take the wheel."
Toph: (smiles sarcastically) "That's a great idea! Let the blind girl steer the giant airship!"
Sokka: (deadpan) "I was talking to Suki."
Guard: What are you doing?!
Mai: Saving the jerk who dumped me.
- Katara occasionally gets the chance to be a wise-ass, usually when Sokka does something stupid.
Sokka: Ah! Hot! Hot!
Katara: Flaming Fire Flakes. Hot. Imagine that.
- Even Zuko has his moments, especially in the second season.
Iroh: Ugh! This tea is nothing but hot leaf juice!
Zuko: Uncle. That's what all tea is.
- Pakku gets several good snarky moments as well. Maybe it's a Water Tribe thing?
Aang: Good morning, Master Pakku!
Pakku: No, please, march right in; I'm not concentrating or anything.
- Wan Shi Tong was very dry witted in The Library, mostly to Sokka.
Wan Shi Tong
: Then why have you come here? Sokka
: Um... knowledge for knowledge's sake? Wan Shi Tong
If you're going to lie to an all-knowing spirit being, you at least put some effort into it.
- The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes:
- The Backyardigans: Tyrone plays this role both audibly and more often visually. Somehow, despite him not wearing pants, he manages to give the impression he's slouching with his hands stuck in his pockets.
(from "To the Center of the Earth", after Tyrone loses his penny a second time because of Uniqua's invention)
Tyrone: See? I could have just walked over to get it. Now it's lost!
Professors Uniqua & Pablo: Poppycock! Inventions are always the way!
Tyrone: The way to drop my penny.
- Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Batman picks this up, in full Silver Age glory.
- Biker Mice from Mars:
- Lawrence Limburger.
- Throttle fits this trope, too.
- The Boondocks: Huey Freeman.
- Brandy & Mr. Whiskers: Brandy and Margo. Also, Ed has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor if you pay close attention to his dialogue.
- CatDog: Winslow.
- Catscratch: Hovis. THE Trope Exemplifier par excellence.
- Cellbound: The jail warden has some moments of this as he watches the fake TV programme.
(after the "boxing match" ends with a KO) "That's a fixed fight if I ever saw one."
(upon seeing a screen declaring the horse racing has been cancelled due to rain) "Hm. Sunny California."
- ChalkZone: Penny, Snap, and Bathtub Granny.
- Code Lyoko: Ulrich, usually in response to Odd's latest idiocy or Jérémie's technobabble. Yumi can get into this too at times. In the original pilot "Garage Kids", he managed to do this silently with an epic Facepalm at Odd being...well...Odd.
- Courage the Cowardly Dog:
- Courage's computer. Being forced to do research on zombie film directors and methods of exorcising a mattress will do that to anyone, though.
- Katz is sometimes this, despite being completely vile.
- The Critic: Jay Sherman's make-up lady Doris Grossman.
- Danny Phantom:
Danny: (to Tucker)
You can get your own date for the dance like I did. Sam:
Does he have to take off his pants and
act like a dweeb, or will either one do?
- Tucker actually has his moments like this, as well:
Jazz: (after accidentally trapping Danny in the Fenton Thermos)
Think I should work on my banter? Tucker:
Start with your aim.
- And Danny himself is no slouch in delivering sarcastic quips. Most of his fights typically involve this and Witty Banter.
Jazz: Hey, you guys. What doesn't sound like Jazz to you?
Danny: [Scowls at Jazz.]
Jazz: Still mad?
Danny: [Sarcastically.] Wow, you are the smart one!
- Daria is a deadpan snarker and patron of all Snark Knights.
- Jane Lane.
- On occasion, Trent Lane, Tom Sloane, Jodie Landon, and Michael Jordan MacKenzie (a.k.a. Mack).
- Darkwing Duck:
Gosalyn: There's something strange about that Bug Master.
Darkwing: Yeah, she's in a bug costume threatening a cockroach. I'd call that strange.
- His adopted daughter Gosalyn, as well. Her response on almost being dropped to her death is, "And to think I used to buy tickets for rides like that."
- Dexter's Laboratory:
- Dee Dee, when she's not being an imbecile, tends to snark.
- Dexter is even more so. Of course, having to put up with one's sibling's antics can do that to anyone.
- Doug: Mrs. Dink, Porkchop (who can't even talk), and Beebe. Judy can also be this when she isn't being a Large Ham.
- Downtown: Jen is this almost all of the time. She also gets the aforementioned deconstruction, admitting that her constant sarcasm comes from her own insecurities, and that the reason she picks on Alex the most is because he's her best friend.
- Drawn Together: Spanky Ham.
- Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist: Laura.
Ben: So... you're my father's receptionist. You know, I mean, in a way, we're sort of related, you and I, like siblings or something, because we both work for my Dad. I mean, you're his receptionist, and I'm his son. So, you know, fantastic, super.
Laura: Could you go now?
- Dungeons & Dragons: Though quite a few characters engaged in snark, it was a particular specialty of Eric's: "Now why didn't I think of that? A game of patty-cake will stop an army of raging orcs any day!"
- Ed, Edd n Eddy: Edd, Kevin, Sarah, and Eddy.
- Exo Squad: Phaeton is this. Which is odd, given that he's the Big Bad.
- The Fairly OddParents: Norm the Genie. Every sentence is a Deadpan Snark. In the episode "Back to the Norm", Norm teams up with Crocker and constantly Deadpan Snarks him. An example is when Crocker is doing his trademark "FAIRY GOD-PARENTS!" spazzing, and Norm makes him hold a chocolate shake in a glass container. When Crocker finishes, Norm says, "That's how I like my shakes. Spazzed, not stirred." From the same episode, Norm asks Crocker, "That thing on your neck...is that your ear?"
- Family Guy:
- Brian and Stewie, but especially Brian.
Brian: What's it called?
Brian: Wow, a song named after a girl. There aren't a million of those already.
- Sometimes Stewie manages to outsnark Brian, though.
Brian: I didn't even know I even had a son until today, and besides, it's not like Tracey ever asked for my help.
Stewie: Yeah, it seemed like they were all set without you, she's done a fine job creating a child-friendly environmen-ta-re-mi-ooh, buh de buh boo, buh buh buh THPTHPTHPTHPT...
Brian slaps Stewie.
Stewie: Great parenting.
- Fanboy and Chum Chum: Lenny and Kyle. The latter even uses the "zing!" on occassion.
Chum Chum: Hey, Kyle! Meet our new friend Yum Yum! We made him out of gum!
Kyle: That's the only way you could make a friend.
- Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: Bloo, Frankie, Jackie Khones, and Fluffer Nutter.
- Freakazoid!: Sgt. Mike Cosgrove is probably one of the biggest examples of this, he rarely changes his attitude.
Leela: Death by irritable space bowel syndrome?
Hermes: You don't want to get that.
Leela: Death by sonic diarrhea?
Hermes: Just sign de form.
- Zapp, in one rare instance, calls Kif out on his attitude:
Zapp Brannigan: Kif, arrest them! And for once, spare me the weary sigh.
- Fry has his moments.
Leela: The tracks lead here.
Fry: Thanks, eagle eye.
- Garfield and Friends: Garfield, especially when dealing with someone he finds particularly obnoxious, like Nermal or the Buddy Bears.
- Tunnel Rat on G.I. Joe: Renegades.
- Goof Troop: Peg, Max, and PJ fulfilling this role, generally to criticize the show's two Bumbling Dads, Goofy and Pete. However, Max and PJ will also often criticize each other with their snarking—usually when Max is being a Fearless Fool or refusing to listen to PJ's sound advice or when PJ tempts fate, makes an ignorant supposition, or starts acting like too much of an Extreme Doormat. Because Pete is abusive and Goofy is amazingly embarrassing, Max is heard snarking about his dad far more often than PJ is, though he does sometimes, usually when Pete's not actually listening. Peg meanwhile snarks about both fathers but never the children. An Extremely Goofy Movie added another Deadpan Snarker in the form of PJ's Love Interest, Tall, Dark and Snarky Beret Girl, who has a poetic flair to her snarking and uses it to insult both Bradley and Bobby.
- Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls is one of these. Very witty and usually the first to poke fun at the "object of ridicule". Dipper seems to take after him in this regard, as he often puts in his own dry remarks in response to the silliness that happens around him.
- The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: Mandy. Grim has his moments, too.
- Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law: Peanut.
- Horseland: Shep.
- Invader Zim: Gaz. Oh so much.
Dib: "Did you hear that, Gaz? Humans don't have squeedlyspooches!"
Gaz: "I've got a squeedlyspooch."
Gaz: "Why do you have to have a head?"
- Johnny Test: Dukey is a mix of a Deadpan Snarker, a voice of reason and a Large Ham.
- Justice League:
- Hawkgirl, who especially had a talent for dishing verbal ownage out on Flash:
Batman: She's a valued comrade, she's a trusted friend, she's—*dropping his head down*—she's standing right behind me, isn't she?
Wonder Woman: Oh, don't let me stop you; dig deeper.
- KaBlam!!: June, starting in season 2.
- Kerwhizz : Pip is a voiceless example, growling in frustration at Ninki's wrong answers.
- Kim Possible:
- Shego. In fact, she considers Drakken to be little more than mocking gold.
Okay, let's get Plan Too-Complicated-To-Actually-Work
Would it hurt you to show a little enthusiasm? Shego: (deadpan)
Woohoo, extra hoo. Happy?
Y'know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius, I'm not seeing much of the "genius". Dr. Drakken:
Keep it up Shego, and you'll see plenty of the "mad". Shego:
Ooh, scary man.
- Fun-fact: Shego wasn't originally planned to be like this, but after the directors realized how much talent her voice actress had in doing the Deadpan Snarker, they changed her whole script.
- Kim herself also has her moments.
- Also Monkey Fist.
Monkey Fist (said menacingly to a child-hostage staring at him): "Take a picture. It'll last longer."
- King Arthur's Disasters: Lancelot and King Arthur:
Robin Hood: Hey, that's my tree you're cutting down!
King Arthur: Oh? This is your tree? Well, good for you then.
Lancelot: Look, I don't want to cause doom and despondency, but I really think we oughtta GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!
Lancelot: That's the fountain of youth? I expected it to be more.....impressive.
- Liberty's Kids: both Sarah and James switch off in playing this role. More often than not, it's James snarking about how stuffy the high society that Sarah was born into is. Though Sarah has been known to throw a great deal of snark right back at him about how infantile Americans in general — and James specifically — can be.
American Soldier: Sir, you may not appreciate our brand of military discipline, however...
Baron von Steuben: How can I appreciate what you don't have?
- The Life and Times of Juniper Lee: Almost every single character. This show's humor ran on two things: playing with, subverting or deconstructing fantasy tropes and pure grade-A snark. Most prominent in this regard was probably Monroe, the talking Scottish dog.
- Littlest Pet Shop (1995): Chloe.
- Looney Tunes:
- Bugs Bunny is arguably the most famous and iconic Deadpan Snarker in western animation.
- Daffy Duck (post-Flanderization) has quite a sarcastic streak in later cartoons, though he's probably more of an Obnoxious Snarker.
- Porky Pig is often very verbal about the wacky cast around him, especially when paired with Daffy (particularly the pompous Daffy who was trying to be a star, not the wacky one who always got Porky in trouble).
- Tweety certainly has his moments.
- Mega Man: Protoman has a tendency to do this.
Cutman: Almost got him!
Protoman: "Almost" only counts in horseshoes, Cutman.
- Being a deadpan snarker was pretty much Protoman's entire character besides him being a blood knight. He snarks the good-guys, especially his baby brother, his own allies, and even his boss, Wily, when he comes up with some of his goofiest plans.
- Mega Man himself shows spades of this, particularly when he is mocking the Robot Masters' stupidity.
Gutsman: How did you know we were going to be here?!
Mega Man: Any idiot can read a train schedule.
- Megas XLR:
- Jamie is, while being a strong coward and womanizer, a decent example of the trope. He is often well aware of and comments on the lunacy and danger of Coop's actions and, sometimes, dialogue. That being said however, he seems to enjoy the destruction Coop's actions brings, so may or may not comment if it doesn't directly affect him.
- Coop's button of doom would occasionally get in a good one. For example, it was once labeled "Do Something Stupid, Coop".
- Moral Orel : Reverend Putty, and possibly Ms. Sculptham are this. Putty because he's bitter at being a virgin and possibly annoyed at God, as judged by his "I Hate My Boss" mug.
- Mr. Bogus: Several characters, with Brattus, Tommy, and Mole being the most prominent examples.
- My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Spike each known for snarky moments, but Twilight Sparkle applies especially well.
Now tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora
Rainbow Dash: Well, once a month she comes into Ponyville.
Rarity: Then, she lurks by the stores.
Twilight: Oh, my!
Fluttershy: And then... she digs at the ground...
Twilight: Good gracious!
- As mentioned above, Rainbow certainly has her fair share. After Derpy somehow destroys the roof of the Town Hall:
Derpy: (jumping up and down on a storm cloud) I just don't know what went wrong! (electrocutes herself)
Rainbow: Yeah. It's a mystery.
Applejack: (giving the Crusaders her old, crumbling clubhouse) It just... needs a little, uh... TLC.
Scootaloo: TLC as in "tender loving care," or "totally lost cause?"
- Apple Bloom gives these moments just as well, such as when the Crusaders fail to build a table, and in response to the coughing of a plant she grew
"Somepony needs to put this thing out of its misery."
"Layin' it on a little thick there, aren't we, pal?"
- Paw Paw Bears: Trembly Paw.
- Phineas and Ferb:
- Candace, although, most of the time, she's not so much "deadpan" as "very LOUD":
There's no yelling allowed. Candace:
Oh, right, it's a museum, I wouldn't want to WAKE ANYONE UP!
- Stacy can be like this when paired with Candace. It's not hard to see why.
- Agent P is a Silent Snarker.
- Doofenshmirtz himself also has his moments.
- Linda when Candace tries to bust her brothers and when Candace is a Deadpan Snarker herself.
- Ferb, with emphasis on "Deadpan".
- Roger Doofenshmirtz's secretary Melony.
- One episode has normally cheerful Robot Buddy Norm turn into this to Doofenshmirtz. It leads to this exchange:
Oh, how about next time you make the potato salad,
make the overly-complicated shemes that always comically backfire?
Doofenshmirtz: Cuttin' deep Norm. You're cuttin' deep.
- Pinky and the Brain: The Brain, usually in response to Pinky's insanity.
Pinky: "Egad, you astound me, Brain!"
Brain: "That was a simple task, Pinky."
- Pound Puppies (2010): Squirt tends to be one, particularly to Niblet and, somewhat less often, Strudel. Cookie, on the other hand, will snark on whomever, whenever.
- T.J., Vince, and Spinelli.
- King Bob, when he's not being a Large Ham.
- Apparently, Miss Grotke when she needs to be one.
- The Replacements: C.A.R., usually at Dick's expense.
- Rocko's Modern Life: Rocko, but only when he's annoyed.
- The Saga of Noggin the Nog: Graculus the Great Green Bird, right from his first line.
- Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated:
- Velma can't seem to help herself
- Surprisingly, Scooby Doo is one at times.
- Daphne was one in Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island ("If this is a mask Fred, it's a pretty darn good one!"), though Velma still had her moments.
Daphne: "I need a real live ghost."
Velma: "That's an oxymoron Daph!"
- Fred and Shaggy have both had their moments over the years as well, even Scrappy.
- Sealab 2021: Sparks.
- The Secret Saturdays:
- Doyle. After the family finds out that the Kid Hero is the ultimate evil monster they were all trying to hunt down, the patriarch of the family forbids them to tell anyone about this.
Doyle: Yeah, I was planning on a radio jingle, but I can cancel that.
- His sister is the same. But then, what else can you expect from the voice actress of Shego?
- The Simpsons:
- Comic Book Guy to the point where he causes a sarcasm detector to self-destruct.
- Lisa often fills this role occasionally, especially when interacting with the severely less intelligent Bart and Homer. While Lisa fought for things that she believed in the earlier seasons and actual took concern in Homer or Bart's dilemmas, she has been reduced to a pure example of this in the current seasons. "Beware of My Cheating Bart" is a text book example of this◊.
- Bart can also act in this role when dealing with Homer.
- Deconstructed briefly in "Homerpalooza" when Homer gets up on stage to perform his newfound skill of taking cannonballs to the gut:
Teen #1: Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool.
Teen #2: Are you being sarcastic, dude?
Teen #1: I don't even know anymore...
- Simsala Grimm: Yoyo is known for all sorts of sarcastic one-liners.
- Sixteen: Nikki Wong.
- South Park:
- In the latter episodes, Stan has a habit of pinching the bridge of his nose and sigh, when other character does something stupid. He often exclaims "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here" and, in "Child Abduction is Not Funny", he remarks to Kyle, "Dude, sometimes I think our parents are really stupid," and as they rejoin their families at the conclusion of the episode, "Jesus Christ, dude, they've done some stupid crap before, but, Jesus Christ...".
- Craig is the personification of this trope.
''Do you guys know why nobody else in School likes hanging out with you? ... Because you are always doing stuff like this.
You are always coming up with a stupid idea to do something, and then it backfired, and then you end up in some foreign country, or in outer space, or something. ... That's why nobody likes hanging out with you guys.
Craig: This is fun. Let's walk for miles through a spooky jungle. It just keeps getting better and better.
Craig: Let's see what's in there. That's why you guys get into these situations. Because when you come across a spooky, ancient ruin, you say: "Let's see what's in there."
- By the end of the episode, the four becomes very annoyed with his remarks and tell him things happen you just run with it.
- The entire episode of Sarcstaball. Aren't you shocked as taser gun you guys?
- Spongebob Squarepants:
- Squidward is arguably the biggest one on the show.
- Karen, all the time.
- Patrick, occasionally.
- SpongeBob himself has his moments in earlier seasons.
- Star Wars: The Clone Wars:
Obi-Wan: That's your plan? Just fly in there, land, hope they don't spot us, and walk in the door?
Obi-Wan: Oh, brilliant. Let's get going.
Obi-Wan: You seem a bit on edge.
Anakin: There's a good chance that we're about to destroy all life on this planet, including ours and the senator's. So yes, I'm a bit on edge! Why aren't you?
Obi-Wan: (shrugs) I'm better at hiding it.
- Superjail: Alice is this.
- Taz-Mania: Digeri Dingo is by far the most sarcastic character on the show.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
- The Shredder can occasionally be one as well.
Bebop: Hey Boss, it's me, Bebop!
Shredder: Really? And all this time I thought I was talking to Santa Claus.
- Teen Titans:
Beast Boy: See? [Blackfire] thinks I'm funny.
Raven: Statistically, I suppose someone has to.
(unicorn statuette causes a secret door to open)
Raven: Well, that's not suspicious...
- Cyborg has his moments, too.
Robin: (about Starfire) I have to find out if she's a threat.
Cyborg: (behind his back) More like find out if she'll give him another kiss...
- The Tick: The last episode featured superhero-in-training Sarcastro, a man dressed as Fidel Castro who was sarcastic. In fact, being really sarcastic was his only stated superpower, and the only time he got to use it in a heroic fashion (he spent most of the episode snarking at the Tick and the other superhero cadets) was when he faced down the Monster of the Week, a hitman using a suit of Powered Armor:
Sarcastro: Oh, sure, I'm gonna fight you. (runs away)
- Time Squad: Larry 3000 which is rather obvious, since he's a Camp Gay Expy of the C-3P0.
- Total Drama:
Mal: (while pretending to be Mike) Wow Cam, you may just have a point.
- The Transformers:
- Scourge occasionally plays this to Cyclonus.
Cyclonus: (in reference to hearing moaning while inside Unicron's head, in Five Faces of Darkness Part 1) Must be the wind.
Scourge: There is no wind in space.
- Unicron himself is not a slacker in this department in The Movie.
Megatron:"Nobody summons Megatron!"
Unicron:"Then it pleases me to be the first."
Megatron:"I have already crushed Optimus Prime with my bare hands!"
"Yes, SIR, Mr. Leader, sir!"
- Even Optimus Prime gets in on this from time to time. It's sometimes hard to resist, given the state of cartoon villainy in the 80's.
"Amazing. A booby trap that actually catches boobies."
- Rodimus Prime is prone to this.
: Don't panic yet. Stay calm until we know what's going on. Then we'll panic.
- It goes beyond Deadpan Snarking and straight into Gallows Humor and Black Comedy. For instance, when the Autobots and their two human allies appear to be stranded in space...
Ultra Magnus: It could be months until we're found.
Spike: Aw swell. What do Daniel and I do when the air runs out?
Rodimus: Basically you'll have two choices: suffocate or smother.
- Transformers: Beast Wars:
- Rattrap from fits this role perfectly. He is snide, cynical, and sarcastic. He's notable for his frequent use of the phrase "We're all gonna die.", and constantly bickers with Dinobot, and, later, Depth Charge. He is, however, a capable soldier and, if need be, leader.
Rattrap: Eh, command's a pain in the tail... especially with this pack of hyenas. You can keep it.
- Blackarachnia, as the show's resident Dark Action Girl, also qualifies. Especially when dealing with Silverbolt.
- Transformers: Robots in Disguise: Slapper, Gas Skunk, and Dark Scream do this a lot to their boss, Sky-Byte.
- Transformers Prime:
- In TRON: Uprising, the opening narrator is fond of snarking about the characters.
- Trust Me, I'm a Genie: Ziggy, Joe and sometimes Diego.
- The Weekenders: Tino Tonitini was brilliant at this.
(a girl who humiliated Carver is waving at him at the beach) Carver:
She's waving at me?
Is there a law against this kind of thing? Tino: (deadpan)
Oh yeah, they're enforced by the Federal Bureau of Waving.
- The end of one episode shows a photo of Tino that has "Most Sarcastic" written underneath it.
- Winx Club: Tecna sometimes acts like this.
- W.I.T.C.H.: The main characters all have their moments. Irma Lair is the resident queen of snark.
- Xiaolin Showdown: Raimundo, although not exactly deadpan, is still very snarky.
- Young Justice: Basically every teenaged hero and quite a few of the adults and villains, too. Probably the most obvious ones are Artemis and Robin I/Nightwing, the latter of which will snark even in the darkest situations.