Characters: The Order of the Stick: Greysky City
The Order of the Stick
| Team Evil
| The Linear Guild
| The Order of the Scribble
| Azure City
| Greysky City
| The Empire of Blood
| Divine Beings
open/close all folders
Haley: It's a dangerous place where people get killed for having gold in their pockets. Not everywhere on this plane is Happy Sunshine Land, you know.
Haley and Ian Starshine's city of origin; an exaggerated
hive of scum and villainy if there ever was one. Visited during the "Don't Split the Party" arc, much to Haley's displeasure.
- City Noir: The town is painted in drab colors, the citizens all have shady careers of varying legality, and one of the most powerful people in the city is the head of the Rogues Guild.
- Descriptive Ville: Very grey.
- More Criminals Than Targets: When Celia walks in, everyone is either committing a crime or being a victim of it.
- Thieves' Guild: Rogue in this case. It operates like a mafia with protection rackets and "no one leaves" rule.
"'Not dying' is one of my best skills!"
Haley's father and former high-ranking member of Greysky City's Thieves' Guild before being supplanted by Bozzok. As a result, he has spent three years imprisoned.
"You have to understand, our entire business model relies on exclusivity. If we allow non-Guild thieves to come and go from the city as they please, we lose our leverage over those who buy into our protection rackets." Race:
Rogue Alignment: Neutral Evil
The head of Greysky City's Thieves' Guild. He tries to kill Haley for defecting from the organization.
- The Don: Since the Thieves' Guild runs like a mafia he fits this trope; making deals, running protection rackets, etc.
- Faux Affably Evil: Bozzok has a friendly, easy-going personality, and on the surface, seems like a Reasonable Authority Figure (especially in contrast to his enforcer, Crystal). However, Bozzok constantly breaks his promises and double crosses people (not only did he order Haley's murder after seemingly accepting her resignation in the prequel, but Word of the Giant is that he was still going to allow Crystal to kill her, despite accepting a truce during the Greysky City arc. There's also the fact that he engineered Ian's imprisonment because Ian was popular with the Guild members, advocating a non-violent semi-Robin Hood approach to thievery and allowing people to freely leave the guild, whereas Bozzok favored a rule by fear and intimidation enforced by violent retribution.
- Genius Bruiser: He's a half-orc with a broad axe and more intelligence than any five members in his guild.
- Genre Savvy: Knows that Ian only trusts family and so turned Ian's brother in law by threatening the guy's son to make sure Ian would be screwed by the only person he'd really trust in prison. Ian only found out years after it started.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Half-orc.
- Mercy Lead: When Haley quit the Thieves' Guild in the prequel, Bozzok accepted it with a smile. Hank took it upon himself to warn her she had an hour to make tracks before the order to kill her went out; the grace period was out of respect for the amount of gold she'd brought in for the Guild in the past.
- Resignations Not Accepted: You can run off if you're fast and smart enough, but the official paperwork always states that every rogue is in the guild until death. It's bad PR to have people quitting on them.
- Spell My Name with an S: Spelled "Bozzak" in On the Origin of PCs.
- Weapon of Choice: A bastard sword and shield.
"♪ I get to kill Ha-ley! I get to kill Ha-ley! ♪" Race:The Rival
Assassin Alignment: Neutral Evil
of Haley and a Goth
assassin of the Thieves' Guild. She met Haley when they were both 19 and they've hated each other ever since. Word of the Giant
states that she has no levels in rogue — she steals from people after she kills them.
- Badass Normal: She kicks ass without relying on magic — despite the fact that the assassin prestige class in D&D 3.5 is a spellcaster. She certainly has too low Intelligence to cast even a cantrip, so (just like Belkar) she's an example of awful character build.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Crystal talks about shoving a barrel full of pickles up Haley's uterus.
- Dark Action Girl: A ruthless assassin that will gleefully kill anyone Bozzok tells her too. Because she's Haley's level, that means it's fairly high.
- Disproportionate Retribution: The original cause of her and Haley's feud: Haley insulted her haircut and she insulted Haley's boots.
- The Ditz: She's not intelligent enough for anything more complicated than "kill that person".
- Dumb Muscle: Rich mentions that she's an inversion of the trope. The hulking, cunning half-orc has his dumb-as-rocks, lithe, petite girl as his deadliest enforcer.
- Hate at First Sight: The flashback of her first encounter with Haley strongly hints at this. And that it was reciprocated.
- I'll Kill You!: First toward Haley, of course, and then to Belkar (because she was furious that he left her at 0 HP for Haley to kill later).
"I mean, I'd prefer nobody got killed here, but what can you do? The Guild needs to keep its reputation. Nobody leaves, except in a casket." Race:
Rogue Alignment: True Neutral
The second-in-command of Greysky City's Thieves Guild. More reasonable than Bozzok, he's shown sympathy for Haley's plight, but still strictly enforces the Guild's rules.
"My name is Jenny, by the way! ...Just in case you ever... you know..." Race:
Rogue/Bard/Sorcerer Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
A bard employed by the Thieves' Guild; one of the few people Haley got along with at the time. She has a fling with Belkar during his stay in Greysky City.
"And indeed, he is not undead — he's a construct, bones animated by an earth elemental spirit bound under my control.
Which I guess technically makes my statement of, 'It's alive,' inaccurate, but I just love saying that."
Wizard Alignment: Neutral Evil
A wizard specialized in the creation of flesh golems
, whom Celia hires, mistakenly thinking he's a cleric. Has a deal with the Greysky City Thieves' Guild to avoid further looting of his estate, Haley having done so already twice in the past.
- All There in the Manual: In the print version of Don't Split the Party, Giro and Grubwiggler are killed by Crystal.
- Back-Alley Doctor: In a variant for this trope, he's a back-alley resurrector. Worst, he's not even a cleric like Celia thought, but a wizard.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He won't create undead, but bone or flesh golems are fine.
- Evil Makes You Ugly: He has green and warthy-looking skin, probably as a result of his unnatural experiments, as part of the Obviously Evil package.
- Exact Words: "I promise, no undead. Vile, loathsome things. I would never create or use them." Fortunately, golems are constructs and not undead.
- Frankenstein's Monster: What he creates, complete with the obligatory statement, "It's alive! ALIVE!!!"
- Grave Robbing: He doesn't do the dirty job himself, but he pays for corpses.
- The Igor: Hieronymus has Giro, though the latter isn't a real hunchback. He stuffed something in his shirt to get the job.
- I Have You Now, My Pretty: His attitude toward Celia when she refuses to pay him, though his interest in her body is explicitely for "spare parts".
Old Blind Pete
Old Blind Pete (formerly Eagle-Eye Pete)
"A word of advice: If you're going to do business with criminals, don't pick a nickname based on any body part you can't afford to lose."
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
An old blind man who was Haley's friend when she was still in the Thieves' Guild. He used to be called "Eagle-Eyed Pete" before he had his eyes removed after doing some illegal work behind the Guild's back.
- Blind Black Guy: He's blind, and he's dark-skinned. Unlike many examples of the trope, though, he's not benevolent.
- Childhood Friends: With the Cleric of Loki, which is why they have their under-the-table business. Pete betrays him.
- Make an Example of Them: Pete was blinded because he was caught selling Bozzok's secrets to his rivals.
- Not in the Face!: "Please don't stab my eyes out, please don't stab my eyes out, please don't stab my eyes out..."
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: The betrayal bites him in the ass when Belkar defeats him, and the Cleric kills him.
- Too Dumb to Live: He returns to his house in the middle of a guild operation with several dangerous belligerents whom he personally betrayed. Naturally his death was quick and painful.
- Turn Coat: Betrays Haley, Celia, Belkar, and his Cleric friend to the Thieves' Guild, so he could get his vision back.
- Weapon of Choice: He was an archer in his youth.
Cleric of Loki
Cleric of Loki
"Look, I'm happy to help out a friend of Pete's, but you have to make it worth the huge risk I'm taking."
Alignment: Unknown (probably Chaotic Neutral)
A nameless Cleric of Loki that Pete hires to heal Belkar and send a message to Haley's friends.
- Childhood Friends: With Pete. He's dismayed when Pete betrays them, and accepts Belkar's advice to kill him.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: The Thieves Guild Mooks who come after him don't regard him as much of a threat, and individually he might not be, but with Belkar doing the heavy hitting, he's plenty capable with his mace and offensive cleric spells.
- Combat Medic: He un-curses Belkar, and assists him and Mr. Scruffy in escaping, by killing some enemies and healing Belkar.
- Dark Is Not Evil: With the black armor, red cape, and worship of Loki he looks bad, but he's really more neutral.
- Healing Hands: As a cleric he can do this.
- Mauve Shirt: "I don't want to die, I've only been in one strip so far!"
- No Name Given: Invoked Trope. He keeps his name untold, as he doesn't want to be identified by the Thieves' Guild.
- Properly Paranoid: Believes that a panel cutaway means that people are planning on killing him. They are.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Skips town after the whole ordeal; he offers Belkar a job as a bodyguard, but Belkar declines, and the Cleric leaves on his own.