Characters / Discworld Witches

Witches in General

• Boring, but Practical: Witches can use magic, but prefer to use it only as a last resort due to the price of magic. They prefer to use mundane methods for solving problems whenever possible, often using placebos to trick people into thinking they've used magic.
• Combat Pragmatist: They will fight dirty and break any rules to win. Nanny Ogg discusses this approach with Magrat in Wyrd Sisters, comparing it to an oath never to swim: it’s all very well if you can honor it, but if you end up in deep water is it worth keeping or breaking?
• Foil: To the wizards. While wizards have notions of tradition and honor and are aloof and distant and easily muddled up, the witches are sharper, shrewder, keep a clear watch on events and are more than ready to fight tooth and claw with whatever they’ve got handy.
• The Hecate Sisters: It's essential. One witch on her own is likely to start cackling. Two witches are an argument waiting to happen. Three witches allow the first two witches to overcome their differences, and happen to someone else.
  • The three distinct phases of witchery are the Maiden, the Mother and... the Other One, since calling a witch "The Crone" is just begging for Disproportionate Retribution.
• It's All About Me: Most of the witches think of themselves first and give themselves top priority over anyone else; Granny Weatherwax outright states that being a witch is about being selfish. Their selfishness never becomes outright evil behaviour, though, and this view is justified by their rogues' gallery being mostly deluded self-righteous villains.
  • Tiffany Aching comes to recognize that a witch's selfishness is her means of protecting people; the Chalk is her land, the people living there belong to her, and if anyone tries to mess with what is hers, as she says: "There will be a reckoning!"
• We ARE Struggling Together: That bit about "overcoming their differences"? Takes a lot of work. Granny and Nanny often tend to gang up on the third of the coven first, leading to lots of bickering, but there's nothing stopping Granny and Nanny bickering with each other as well.
• With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Witches are in danger of "cackling", which is their word for insanity caused by using magic too often, which is why they prefer to use non-magical means to solve problems whenever possible.

Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax

I can't be having with this.

A stern, skinny old woman who walks just on the "good" side of the thin line between good witch and bad witch. Thinks she knows what's best for people, and is usually right. Not well-liked, but well-respected, and that's usually good enough for her. Lives in the mountain kingdom of Lancre, and as far as she's concerned she and her fellow witches are the ones who really run the place. Tends to avoid using actual witch-magic unless she actually has to, preferring to use "headology" - her own personal version of psychology - something she is very, very, very good at. She is widely considered to be the most powerful witch on the Disc — even the Feegles call her "The Hag O' Hags."

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• The Alleged Car: More the Alleged Broomstick. Her broomstick taking to flight requires being shoved through the air from a good sprint. At best it manages to get enough altitude to just barely clear the treetops. The broomstick's performance is not helped by that Granny's attitude towards steering is everything else should get out of her way, including trees and mountainsides. The finest dwarven craftsmen have replaced every part of the broomstick dozens of times, and are completely mystified as to why its functionality never improves.
• All Witches Have Cats: Averted for several books, as Granny dislikes cats — then played straight in Wintersmith and beyond, as Tiffany presents her with a white kitten. So she's now the owner of a white cat named You, as in "Get down from there, You!" or "Stop that, You!" Said cat, perhaps unsurprisingly, takes on certain aspects of her owner's personality, such as using what she has at the right moment for maximum psychological effect - namely, she's the only thing other than elves, feegles, and Legba that actually scares Greebo.
• Amicable Exes: Of a strange sort with Ridcully. They get on well enough, and it's indicated that he's still holding a torch for her.
• Animal Motifs: Bees. She keeps several hives near her hut and has been known to Borrow them on multiple occasions. On a metaphorical level, she is the queen bee of the witches' hierarchy (that definitely does not exist, because Granny wouldn't allow it) and she grooms Tiffany to replace her as a new queen. Much like a bee, people respect and fear her, because although she is good and helpful, you will feel her sting if you don't tread the line.
• Anti-Hero: She's manipulative, cynical, secretive, callous, and favours dirty tricks. But she's Good. She's Good if it kills her.
• Author Avatar: She is the closest to Terry Pratchett in her thinking and beliefs.
• Barrier Maiden: To the point where her merely being alive keeps things like elves out.
• Batman Gambit: She could give the trope namer lessons. More often than not she'll solve a problem by careful manipulation of people and events while keeping her magic in reserve until it is absolutely needed.
• Being Good Sucks: Esme yearns to be the Wicked Witch. She mentions several times, with satisfaction, that if she were a villain she'd be the terror of the entire world, and more than one person has independently noted with vague horror just what she might be capable of. But Lily Weatherwax took that role (not that she realised it), and forced Esme into being "the Good One". More to the point, she knows Right from Wrong and is far too proud to start ignoring the difference.
• Big Good: Eventually she was Kicked Upstairs by the writer: instead of being The Hero she becomes Tiffany Aching's mentor/Sour Supporter.
• Black-and-White Morality: She stands by what she thinks is right and wrong, no matter what. She is merciful or merciless as the situation requires, but her judgement is ironclad and unchanging. As Nanny puts it, "if you're going to throw yourself on Esme's mercy, you'd better be damn sure you deserve to bounce."
  Granny: Mercy's a fine thing, but judgement comes first. Otherwise you don't know what you're being merciful about.
• Body Surf:
  • She practices a relatively benign version of this called "Borrowing", where she rides the mind of an animal, steering it and seeing through its eyes. This is her most commonly used technique, and she is regarded as the indisputable master of the skill.
  • In case you think it's not a particularly useful power, she can intimidate people into thinking that she's spying on them through any animal, possess just about anything (plants, buildings, bee swarms), and once Out-Gambitted a group of vampires by Borrowing her blood and tricking them into drinking it.
• Book Dumb: Her relationship with reading is described as being 'combative', and she sees words written by dead people as tangentially associated to necromancy. She considers writing instructions on how to administer to be the most difficult part of brewing potions. Then there is the card she hangs around her neck whenever she goes Borrowing that reads "I ATE'NT DEAD" (later "I STILL ATE'NT DEAD", and "I IS PROBLY DEAD") That being said, she is very good with numbers and sums.
• Brainwash Residue: The shapeshifting variety. For example, she stopped using owls to see at night because "You ends up for days trying to twist your head right round," and after she's borrowed an entire beehive, she declares, "I wantzzz a bunzzch of flowerzz, a pot of honey, and someone to szzzting."
• Cannot Tell a Joke: "Get me an alligator sandwich and make it quick!" ^note It's meant to be "and make it snappy!" but she doesn't know why that's funny, so she remembers the punchline as something about wanting it immediately.
• Celibate Eccentric Genius: Though it would be hard to call her eccentric - perhaps her eccentricity is that she is very, very sane - she's a type of genius, and she is celibate. See below.
• Character Catchphrase: "Blessings be upon this house!", "I can't be having with this.", "I (still) aten't dead."
• Child Hater: Combined with Wouldn't Hurt a Child. Yes, she has that combination. She will loudly (and repeatedly) complain about children and threaten them with over-the-top punishments, but she would never act on any of them. Interestingly, children confronted with Granny Weatherwax (barring Early-Installment Weirdness) seem to realise this on an instinctive level and are not afraid of her as a result.
• Celibate Hero:
  • Which amazes her former suitor Ridcully when he finds out.
  • She also leads a unicorn at one point, using a single hair from her head as a halter.
• Cuteness Proximity: In a very, very grudging sort of way with You the kitten.
• The Cynic: She believes in reality over ideals, or in her own words, what is, rather than what could/should/would be. That said, she does value people’s efforts to make things better when she can see that they truly mean well.
• The Dreaded: Trolls (hulking rock monsters that could kill a human with a single punch) call her "Aaoograha hoa" ("She who must be avoided"). Dwarves (perpetually armed, often drunk and surly) name her "K'ez'rek d'b'duz" ("Go Around the Other Side of the Mountain"). You'd be an idiot (or an uppity vampire lord) to ignore her deserved reputation.
• Enraged by Idiocy: Downplayed, but Granny's own thoughts make it quite obvious just how contemptuous she is of most people for falling short of her standards of intelligence and common sense. This doesn't stop her from exploiting their superstitious thinking for her Headology, of course.
• Family Eye Resemblance: Nanny inwardly notes, on seeing Lily Weatherwax up close, that she's got Granny's Icy Blue Eyes, and that there's 'a shard of sapphire' in the Weatherwax genetics.
• Fatal Flaw: Pride, as she admits - while all witches have to be at least a bit prideful, Granny takes it to whole new levels. It's why she refuses to back down from a fight, no matter what.
• The Fettered: Besides her fellow witches, the main thing stopping her from going bad is her own self-discipline.
• Forced into Evil: Inverted. Granny was meant to be "the bad one" while her sister Lily (who is a fairy godmother!) was meant to be "the good one". But once Lily went bad, Granny had to stay home and be the good one. And she's been angry about it ever since, but continues doing good to the best of her ability even after her sister is killed because at that point it's a matter of pride.
• The Fundamentalist: Indicates in Carpe Jugulum to Pastor Oats that this is what she'd be if she was religious. Given her charisma and sheer drive, Oats is left wondering just what kind of horror would come down out of the mountains if she ever got religion.
• Genre Savvy: This, and not her magical abilities, is what makes her truly powerful.
• Good Is Bad And Bad Is Good: Is part of Granny’s past. Her sister Lily went off to be a good witch in Genua, but turned bad instead which meant that Esme had to be the good one. She herself admits she’d probably be a better bad witch than a good one, but her deeply buried conscience and compassion means that she can’t turn away from suffering and injustice.
• Good Is Not Nice: She never wanted to be the good one, and is somewhat grumpy as a result. But she's Good. She's Good if it kills her.
• Good with Numbers: The complement to her Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma is that she is also 'keenly numerate' - certainly, she's much better with numbers than most expect, and figures out Goatberger is shortchanging Nanny Ogg on the profits of her book with a few basic calculations and Salzella's embezzlement after barely five minutes of skimming the account books in Maskerade. She's also a skilled card player, after years of being fleeced by Old Mother Dismass and the detached retina of her second sight - she easily beats a group of card sharks that had just preyed on Nanny Ogg (with the judicious use of just enough magic to stop them from cheating) in Witches Abroad.
• Grumpy Old Man: She doesn't hold with this newfangled "making your own entertainment". And as Nanny Ogg notes, you REALLY don't want witches making their own entertainment.
• Guile Hero: Despite being the most powerful witch on the Disc, Granny would rather hoodwink and bamboozle her foes instead of using magic, mostly because she's worried that reliance on her powers will drive her insane, but also because it's fun to screw with the idiots who dare to challenge her.
• Hard Work Hardly Works: Subverted. Though it's seldom openly stated, Granny is actually not the most powerful witch around - or at least, she doesn't have the raw talent of, say, Nanny Ogg. However, she works so hard at being a witch and has become so skilled at using what she's got (unlike, say, the much lazier Nanny Ogg) that she's more than earned her reputation as the greatest witch on the Disc.
• Hates Reading: She is only marginally literate and is profoundly distrustful of books, believing that recording dead people's words is somehow akin to Necromancy. She does keep an almanac — in her outhouse, for the pages.
• Hijacking Cthulhu:
  • Granny Weatherwax has the ability to "borrow" the minds of living things. Among other more normal targets, she has used this ability on an entire swarm of bees, and a building (Unseen University, to be precise, which is a bit of a Genius Loci due to all the magic). Her pupil Eskarina Smith considered trying it on Great A'Tuin, the turtle that carries the world on its back, but decided against it at the last moment because she didn't think she'd be able to get back.
  • In Carpe Jugulum, she manages to place her "self" into her own blood. Which causes the vampires to technically unwittingly invite her in, past their defences, allowing her to make them become like her, instead of the other way around. As she puts it, in an awesome Badass Boast "I ain't been vampired. You've been Weatherwaxed."
• History Repeats: Though she would never admit it, Granny has become exactly the busy-bodying, stuck in their way old prune that she used to hate when she was younger, and is irritably aware of it. Lords and Ladies features a headstrong, wilful witch who in no way resembles a young Granny. Though in this case Granny has to save the younger witch when she makes a mistake Granny nearly made at her age.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Specialises in ruthlessly exploiting her enemies' mistakes, using their own abilities against them, usually via a Batman Gambit.
• Hypocritical Humor: It's almost a Running Gag that Granny will say something and then do pretty much the same thing herself.
  • She scorns wizards for their reliance on pointy hats and elaborate robes, but insists on dressing up like a Witch Classic because how else would anyone tell that she's a witch?
  • In Maskerade, she mentally mocks her latest client for presuming that she used to magic to sense his approach, when in fact she could have just looked out the window and seen him coming up the path from a good way's off. She then admits that she actually had sensed him magically, having had her back to the window the whole time.
  • It's a recurring gag of her privately mocking muggles for falling for her Headology, but at the same time, she ruthlessly exploits it as part of her skillset.
• I Am Not Left-Handed: Granny rarely uses actual magic, partly because it's her nature, partly because most problems can be solved by simpler means, partly because if she fears that using her powers too much will drive her evil/insane, and partly because it's much more fun when people under/overestimate her. She is still, however, a really powerful witch. Like reality warpingly, time-bendingly, mind-shatteringly powerful, so you don't want to become so big a threat that she decides to cast a devastating spell while making it seem effortless (mostly because she hides the strain until she's out of sight from the audience).
• Icy Blue Eyes: Much attention is given to her piercing, diamond-blue eyes and their owner's ability to outstare a snake.
• I Have Many Names: At one point, Nanny brings up that her name among the trolls translates as "She Who Must Be Avoided" and the dwarfs know her as "Go Around The Other Side Of The Mountain".
• In-Series Nickname: Nanny Ogg calls her "Esme". Those she likes (sort of) call her "Granny." Everyone else calls her Mistress Weatherwax on pain of pain.
• Insistent Terminology: It's Mistress Weatherwax. Not Miss, not Mrs, Mistress. If you're lucky, she'll merely snap a correction. If you're not...
• Insufferable Genius: But they suffer her anyway, because it's way better than the alternatives.
• In the Blood: Not quite, as Discworld magic doesn't really work on this principle, but Nanny Ogg notes that all the Weatherwaxes are good at magic, even the men. And when she says 'good', she means that of the three Weatherwaxes we've met, there's been Galder Weatherwax, a distant cousin who was Arch-Chancellor of the Unseen University in The Light Fantastic (i.e. back in the days of Klingon Promotion), Lily Weatherwax, Granny's older sister who was the Fairy-Godmother Behind The Throne and supreme ruler of Genua for over a decade, and Granny herself, who's widely acknowledged as the most powerful witch on the Disc, and personally defeated Lily. And then there's a Weatherwax we haven't met, Alison, Granny and Lilith's grandmother, who was in her mid 70s when she set off for Uberwald and took down the Old Count Magpyr, a very powerful vampire (he was very impressed by her).
• I Was Quite a Looker: Though she never really brings it up herself, it is noted that as a young woman she was, at the very least, striking. Certainly enough to catch Ridcully's eye - though she was never the romantic type. Even as an old woman, she's considered quite handsome, in a hard-edged sort of way.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite her best efforts to be just a Jerkass and wistful remarks about how she could have been the Wicked Witch if not for her sister choosing to be evil, the fact is that she knows the difference between Good and Evil and can't stand to choose Evil.
• Knight in Sour Armor: Insists she "ain't got no romance in her soul." However, that suspiciously dramatic streak persists, and she grudgingly notes to Ridcully in Lords and Ladies that thanks to her mind bleeding into the thoughts of other Granny Weatherwaxes - some of whom were actually Grannies and happy enough that way - that there was some potential for it.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: While by no means dumb, it is a fact of witches that when faced with a subject they know nothing about, they'll just march straight on through without ever once admitting they're wrong. Granny Weatherwax is especially prone to this.
• Let's Get Dangerous!: On the rare occasions Granny is motivated to bring out the real magic, it counts as this. Most notable is the time in Maskerade, where she pulls off the "catch a sword in your palm" form of Bare-Handed Blade Block by moving the injury days forward in time, so she isn't hurt until after the fighting is over and she can patch herself up.
  • Earlier, in Witches Abroad, she winds up facing down Mrs Gogol, a very powerful voodoo witch, and promptly turns Mrs Gogol's voodoo doll back on her - normally, voodoo dolls work by sticking pins in a representation of someone. Granny stuck her hand in a burning torch and set the doll on fire. As Mrs Gogol notes, faintly stunned, the extremely powerful villain of the book had been trying to get through her defences for over a decade and never even got close. Granny, by contrast, didn't even have to sweat.
  • Even earlier, in Equal Rites, she goes toe to toe with Archchancellor Cutangle in a classic Wizard's Duel, and Cutangle uncomfortably thinks that if it had gone on much longer, she'd probably have won. And this, mark you, was back in the days when Klingon Promotion was the standard at the UU, meaning that Cutangle would have had to be a very good fighter.
• Licked by the Dog: Sort of, in regards to the reaction that the phoenix had to her in Carpe Jugulum.
• Memetic Badass: In-universe, Sam Vimes is the only one who comes close to her in this territory.
• Mind over Manners: As demonstrated in Lords and Ladies in particular, she's scrupulous about this when Borrowing - she guides the creature whose body she borrows rather than controls, and repays it in some fashion (usually a bowl of milk, or some such).
• Nay-Theist: She doesn't believe in any gods. Not because she doesn't think they exist; she knows they do. She doesn't believe in them because she thinks it would just encourage them and would rather be self-sufficient than rely on the good graces of someone else, least of all a god.
• Never Mess with Granny: She's an extremely powerful witch with a sour disposition to match. More than one person has made the mistake of underestimating her and rarely had the opportunity to do so again.
• Nice, Mean, and In-Between: The mean one along with Nanny (inbetween) and Magrat (nice).
• No Sense of Humor: Is famed for it.
• Not So Stoic: Her personal plot in Carpe Jugulum, following on from Lords and Ladies, is how Granny's loneliness, years of making hard choices and personal fears ultimately catch up to her, leading to a temporary emotional crisis.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: In The Sea and Little Fishes. Everyone can deal with Granny being nasty. When she tries being nice, everyone breaks down. It turns out to be invoked as a Paranoia Gambit.
• The Perils of Being the Best: Shares this with Jason Ogg, as she notes at one point - the cost of being the best is that you have to be the best (which in this case, means undertaking any task set to you, no matter how insane).
• Perspective Magic: Granny is an expert at this, coupling her understanding of people with her excessive magical ability to pull off some incredible feats. In Wyrd Sisters she transported a kingdom through fifteen years to the future by condensing the time into a span of minutes, and in Maskerade she hid herself in an office so that anyone looking for her had to see a coatrack with clothes in the right light.
• Pimped-Out Dress: She's forced into one in Witches Abroad, and again in Maskerade, in order to pose as an upper-class lady. She would never admit to liking it, of course, or the midnight black velvet cloak Tiffany gifts her.
• Pride: Nanny Ogg describes her as 'proud' in the same sense that 'the sea is full of water'. She isn't a proud person, her existence is pride. Although it's a major flaw in her character - arguably her Fatal Flaw - it has won victories (and survival) for her.
• Prim and Proper Bun: She wears her hair in a "tight bun that could crack rocks."
• Psychic Powers: Her magic mostly manifests in this fashion, and while she disdains the idea of actually reading minds (they're too complicated, though she can pick up the gist if enough people are thinking roughly the same thing), she's terrifyingly good at it; usually, it's Borrowing, but other tricks seen include various forms of hypnotism: examples include knocking people out, in one case with Magrat, to give her aristocratic levels of arrogance, or more frequently, to make people think they're frogs for a couple of days (she considers it more economical and amusing than the fully fledged Forced Transformation). She can also use telekinesis sometimes, to the point of - say - blowing up Nanny Ogg's hat as a demonstration to several wannabe witches that yes, she can use magic. However, she generally doesn't like to.
• Red Baron: The Trolls in the Ramtops call her "Aaoograha hoa", which means "She Who Must Be Avoided", while the Dwarfs call her "K'ez'rek d'b'duz" or "Go Around the Other Side of the Mountain". The Feegles, meanwhile, a race not disposed to respect or fear anything or anyone (other than lawyers and "hags" - witches), refer to her in tones of awed respect as "The Hag o' Hags."
• Running Gag:
  • Her broomstick is old, made of spare parts, and requires bump-starting. This involves holding it and running around like an idiot until the magic "catches." Or leaping off a tower to hit ignition speed.
  • Another one: Granny is such an expert at "Borrowing" (or casting her mind into animals while in a trance) that she has to carry a card with the words "I ATEN'T DEAD" on it to stop people from burying her. This turns out to be an astonishingly long range Running Gag that pays off in Carpe Jugulum where after fighting off vampires for the entire book she ends the book lying on her bed clutching a card saying I STILL ATEN'T DEAD.
  • The card appears for the final time in The Shepherd's Crown... where Granny, knowing she's about to die, changes the message to I IS PROBABLY DEAD and places it by her bedside before she meets Death.
• Self-Made Witch: While she does have exceptional magical ability, she majorly gets by on her own wit and cunning.
  • She also believes strongly that people should sort out their issues themselves.
• Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Although, she wasn't much different when she was young...
• She Cleans Up Nicely: When she does (reluctantly) dress up, she's noted to be 'handsome' and unconventionally compelling - enough to pass (thanks to a mischievous Nanny) as an aged former courtesan in Maskerade, with Bucket remarking that he "can see how she made her money."
• Silver Fox: She's never been classically beautiful, but she's arguably improved as she's aged. She's noted more than once to have kept a certain handsomeness (to her chagrin - it undermines the Witch Classic image) as she aged, with those making her up in Maskerade being surprised to find flawless hair, excellent skin, and perfect feet. Likewise, when she gets into a Pimped-Out Dress, Bucket (who, thanks to Nanny's mischief, thinks she's an ex-courtesan) remarks, impressed, that he can see how she made her money.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Probably the best sum-up for her relationship with Greebo. They have to put up with each other because of their proximity to Nanny, but the pair have "mutually hated each other" since Greebo was a kitten. Naturally her cat You immediately grows to hate Greebo just as strongly.
• Smug Super: Granny's one of if not just the strongest witches on the Disc. She knows it, they know it, and she sees no point in being humble about it or coddling their feelings. She's better'n them. End of story. Every year at the annual contests of witchcraft, she shows up and wins, no matter how much it might upset everyone else ('cept Nanny Ogg, who's fine with someone else doing the work).
• Stealth Mentor: To Magrat and, to an extent, Agnes, but most of all to Tiffany Aching. The latter reflects that Granny's method of teaching involves testing you, all the time.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: Narration repeatedly notes that witches do not have leaders, and Granny Weatherwax is at the top of the hierarchy witches do not have.
• Sure, Let's Go with That: In Maskerade, when she tells a man with a bad back (which she sorts with a case of stealth chiropractic treatment) he needs to put a sheet of pine under his mattress, he suggests it's because the knots in his back will end up in the pine. She immediately agrees, mentally filing that idea away to use in future as a very good bit of bunkum.
• Terror Hero: Although her reputation never seems to daunt the villains, she is commonly known to dwarfs as "Go around the other side of the mountain" and trolls as "She who must be avoided". In Carpe Jugulum, Pastor Oats tries to get the citizens of Lancre to go looking for her by saying that Granny's all alone in the woods with monsters... and the crowd wonder why they should care what happens to monsters.
  • The latter incident is a Call-Back to Witches Abroad when Jason Ogg, enormous blacksmith and firstborn son of Nanny Ogg, takes Magrat aside before the three witches head to Genua and asks if Magrat will look out, because he's read in the Almanac that there's all sorts of terrible monsters and mythical beasts in foreign parts. Magrat, assuming he means that he wants her to look out for his old mum and Granny Weatherwax, agrees. Jason then adds that it's only because the Almanac said that most of the creatures were almost extinct.
• Transplant: In the Tiffany Aching books, as she stealthily grooms Tiffany as her successor.
• The Unapologetic: Refuses to apologize outright; she'll sometimes bend a little on matters she was previously rigid about as a way of hinting that she's sorry, but she's unlikely to come right out and say it. The narration summed it up best.
  She'd never mastered the talent for apologizing, but she appreciated it in other people.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: She can't talk to Nanny for more than a few minutes without them starting to bicker.
  • As said in Witches Abroad, Granny "really couldn't be having at all with Nanny Ogg, who was her best friend."
  • And in Maskerade Nanny Ogg muses how they need to have a third, younger girl in the group to boss around or they'll just end up getting on each other's nerves, while as a trio they can get on the nerves of the rest of the world, which is much more fun.
• Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Despite the abundance of witches, they don't have spelling in the mountains, with Granny herself being described as 'grudgingly literate'.
• Weak, but Skilled: While she's actually the most powerful witch on the Disc, she's usually Willfully Weak and therefore comes off this way, using what magic she has sparingly and in the most economic fashion possible.
  • Indeed, it's possible Nanny is technically more powerful than her on a basic magical level, or at least, she could have been. As Nanny put it, she has natural talent at magic, as all Oggs have. However, Nanny is lazy. Esme, on the other hand, doesn't (though the Weatherwaxes are a notably magical family, and she was meant to be 'the Bad One' to Lily Weatherwax's 'Good One', so she probably had a real talent to begin with) — she just makes what she does have work harder than hell.
• Wicked Witch: Averted, though not for lack of temptation. In fact, as Witches Abroad and Maskerade explain, she was meant to be this at a contrast to her sister, Lily, who was meant to be the Good Witch. Lily ended up as Light Is Not Good instead, forcing Esme to be 'the Good One' and become Dark Is Not Evil. As she tells Lily, she deeply resents this, especially because Lily didn't even have the decency to enjoy being evil (she genuinely thought she was doing the right thing). She occasionally wistfully remarks on what a terror she would have been if she'd been allowed to be a wicked witch, putting all previous examples in the shade, and it's very easy to believe her. Instead, though, she forces herself to be the Good One by always glaring over her own shoulder.
• Willfully Weak: Granny is very magically powerful, but like Ridcully, she believes in avoiding the use of magic unless she absolutely has to. Instead, she relies on "Headology"; a combination of common sense remedies and basic medicines all coated with elaborate showmanship to convince the muggles she's treating that she's using magic. For example, in Maskerade, she treats a man for his bad back by instructing him to put a good solid sheet of pine wood under his mattress, gives him a fake potion of colored, sugar-laced water, and then "accidentally" stumbles into him, which gives her a chance to apply a quick chiropractic realignment of his spine.
  • Also, when she does use magic, she doesn't exploit it to its full potential, always paying it back in some way — because she believes reckless, wanton use of magic's full Reality Warper potential is how a witch can lose her mind and end up "cackling". This is why, for example, she simply delays the injury from her Bare-Handed Blade Block instead of No Selling it entirely.
• Witch Classic: Zigzagged. Despite adamantly refusing to let herself become the Wicked Witch, she still believes in using the classic pointy hat, cloak and all-black gear, because A: that cements her as being a Witch, and B: it strengthens her Headology. That said, she subverts the look in that (to her annoyance) she lacks the "hideous crone" aspect — in fact, it's noted that if one looks past her age and her stern features, she's actually quite good looking. She's got striking blue eyes, doesn't have a single wart or blemish, still has all her teeth, is relatively wrinkle-free, and her hair is neat and healthy (if iron grey in colour). Even her feet, despite her wearing hulking hobnailed boots, are described as immaculately cared for and completely free of corns, callouses, or even overly long toenails.
• Wolf in Sheep's Clothing: Subverts this when she disguises herself as an apple seller. Not only by being a heroic character but also by the fact that nobody is fooled, they’re all just too scared of her to argue.
• Wouldn't Hurt a Child: To the point that when she ends up infecting a clan of vampires with herself, they become unable to harm children as well. She insists this isn't the case, though.
  Nanny: But they know you wouldn't do those things either, Esme.
  Granny: No, they just know I ain't done it yet.
  • Irritatingly (to Granny) young children seem to recognize this on an instinctive level and so aren't afraid of her.

Gytha "Nanny" Ogg

A fat, likeable old woman with a fondness for free food, strong drink, dirty jokes, and dirtier songs. Easygoing, bends the rules all the time when reality gets too boring, gets on well with nearly everyone, given time^note read: "seconds" to get to know them. Has been married three times ("and that's only the official score") and had fifteen children, and is thus the absolute ruler of a massive extended family. Owns an ill-tempered tomcat named Greebo who, despite Nanny's insistence that he's "an old softy," is practically the poster child for Cats Are Mean and sires his own expansive (Granny's kitten You is the only feline in Lancre who is not descended from Greebo from at least one - and usually several - line of descent) clan (though once she admits "just between you and me, he's a fiend from hell"). Nanny has been best friends with Granny Weatherwax for decades, with the result that the two argue frequently. Despite her facade of a dim-but-lovable old lady, she hides "a mind like a buzzsaw behind a face like an elderly apple", and may be even more powerful than Granny.

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• All-Loving Hero: She enjoys people and loves being involved in their daily life.
• All Witches Have Cats: Greebo.
• Bawdy Song: The dreaded "Hedgehog Song" and "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".
• Beware the Nice Ones: Nanny is the friendliest, most affable witch you can imagine — but don't imagine for a moment that this means she's soft.
  Nanny: I'm only nice compared to Esme. But so's practically ev'rybody.
• Big Fun: Fat, jolly, and loves good food and drink. Nanny is the life of every party she finds her way into (and it's implied that she finds her way into a lot of parties).
• Boisterous Bruiser: Perhaps shown clearest in the climax to Wyrd Sisters. Granny Weatherwax tries to use Headology to force Lady Felmet into a Villainous Breakdown. When this doesn't work, Nanny Ogg just knocks the lady unconscious by hitting her on the head with a cauldron.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: Has a natural knack for witchcraft and magic, and Terry said she probably is (or could be) more powerful than Granny Weatherwax, but she tends to eschew hard work and usually goes for the quickest, easiest solution — which often turns out to be "get someone else to do the entire job for me." As she says in "The Sea And Little Fishes", she's the one with "natural talent" for witchcraft. Granny has less talent (though the Weatherwaxes still have an unusually strong magical streak), she just works it harder than hell.
• Charm Person: A low level example, but she's got a way of winkling herself in pretty much everywhere and instantly being at home, as well as taking about five seconds to get to know someone. It's so effective that Granny occasionally wonders if she wouldn't be better off trying things Nanny's way.
• Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Downplayed example — in The Sea and Little Fishes she notes that if she weren't around to keep Granny Weatherwax busy by being Vitriolic Best Buds, Granny'd be liable to get bored with regular witching. This is implied to be a very bad thing if it'd happen. She's shown getting particularly worried about this in Maskerade.
• Compulsive Liar: Not a vicious one, but Nanny Ogg's got views on telling the truth. Namely, if it's boring, don't do it. Susan manages to force an honest answer out of her via sheer willpower.
• Cool Old Lady: She's been described as "the grandmother you didn't mind visiting when you were little, and who told you dirty jokes when you got older."
• Dirty Old Woman: Aged like a fine vintage from a Lovable Sex Maniac, and even then she'll dip back into it if she finds something that really interests her.
• Drowning My Sorrows: After Esme passes in The Shepherd's Crown, but she gets better.
• Dyslexia: Dyscalcula to be specific, it's brought up in Maskerade, luckily she has Esme to help her (and there's a hint some of that might be Nanny playing it up to keep Granny occupied).
• Evil Matriarch: Played With. She's described as the "undisputed tyrant of half the Ramtops" for a reason. She's very loving (and controlling) with her children and grandchildren. Her poor, poor daughters-in-law, however, certainly think so, and with good reason. Nanny Ogg sees their primary purpose in life as being to keep her content by cleaning her house — and she's very demanding about that — and providing her with all the food and drink she asks for.
• First-Name Basis: She calls Granny Weatherwax "Esme", who in turn calls her "Gytha". Everyone else calls Nanny 'Nanny', or (if one of her children) 'Mum'.
• Fluffy Tamer: Where Greebo is concerned, anyway. And even then, she's not above throwing a boot at his head.
  • And possibly the Nac Mac Feegle. Then again, this isn't a difficult trick for Nanny, considering she brews an incredibly strong drink known as scumble or "suicider," one drink of which is typically enough to lay someone out flat; Feegles will do a lot of favours for a drink of that stuff.
• Former Teen Rebel: Freely admits to having been "wanton" in her youth. Though as Granny will point out, she's still pretty wanton in old age.
• Friend to All Children: Not just hers, anybody's. It helps that, in the same way that they instinctively know that Granny won't hurt them, they know that Nanny is a total soft touch with children.
• Good Is Not Dumb: She's smart enough to keep Granny Weatherwax in check.
• Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: She smokes a pipe.
• Granny Classic: Outwardly, at least. And whenever she's around children.
• Hard Head:
  • According to Maskerade, where an attempt by Mrs. Plinge to lay her out cold with a full bottle of champagne to the skull merely leaves her woozy for a few seconds. Apparently, there's Dwarf in the Ogg ancestry and that means "a skull you could go mining with".
  • In Witches Abroad a falling farmhouse (the blow softened slightly by her hat) has only a similar effect, rather than leaving her flat but for her boots as the villain expected. Her specially reinforced hat also helps.
• Hidden Depths: Terry Pratchett has hinted that she may be more powerful than Granny. This is rarely noticeable, but briefly comes up in Maskerade.
  • The short story The Sea And The Little Fishes directly states that of the two, Nanny is the more naturally talented witch and probably has more raw power (or could have, if she'd worked at it), but is still less formidable because she doesn't work as hard as Granny (who was less talented - though still pretty damn talented, in the vein of the other two Weatherwaxes who've turned up (Lily and Galder), and the third (Alison) who's been mentioned - but worked at it). Her highly developed ability to get along with people does make her the better witch in most everyday situations (for example she is the best midwife in the entire history of the world), and both recognize that they are strongest as a team.
• Hillbilly Moonshiner: Lancre's top distiller of scumble in a country where distilled liquor is illegal, and everyone knows it. She gets away with it because Verence has no intention of trying to arrest a witch, so instead has an informal arrangement where she is sufficiently discreet about where the still is and what she does with it so that the king doesn't have to officially know what she's up to, and he doesn't make any attempt at a serious investigation into where the scumble is coming from.
• I Was Quite a Looker: She may be a wrinkly, implicitly somewhat portly old lady now, but in her youth she was a very attractive (and very sexually liberated) woman. The "Mona Ogg" suggests she and Leonard of Quirm were very taken with each other, for instance. She held onto it enough that she had at least one child in her late 40s/early 50s (thanks to the events of Wyrd Sisters, time got a little wobbly up around Lancre).
• Interspecies Romance: The dwarf Casanunda hits on Nanny Ogg shamelessly whenever they cross paths, which Nanny Ogg regards with a mixture of bafflement, amusement, and pride. It's mentioned in passing it's not the first time an Ogg caught the eye of a dwarf; at least one married into the family (or had a child with an Ogg ancestor), giving Nanny Ogg and her descendants very tough skulls.
• Moral Myopia: Subscribes to the view that it's not a crime when an Ogg does it.
• Muggle–Mage Romance: She had several, and outlived at least three Muggle husbands.
• Mundane Solution: At least once a book she will get by a problem she can't handle herself by just asking someone for help, which would explicitly never even occur to the other witches (especially when it's a man).
• My Beloved Smother: Nanny Ogg is a loving, doting, and very controlling matriarch to all her family. Her daughters-in-law, however, tend to more view her as an Evil Matriarch, as mentioned above.
• Nice, Mean, and In-Between: The inbetween with Granny (mean) and Magrat (nice). She gives off the impression of being lovely and friendly, and genuinely is, but as she warns one person, "I'm only nice compared to Esme, an' so's practic'ly everybody."
• Obfuscating Stupidity: So much so that she's even got Granny fooled (mostly). You expect Granny to "happen to people," as Magrat puts it, but the rare occasions when Nanny is really mad about something are truly scary. It is described as being bitten by a large friendly dog. Emphasis on large.
• Really Gets Around: Her son, Shawn, was born 20 years previous. His father died thirty years previous. Shawn hasn't noticed, and Ridcully stops Stibbons from pointing it out.
  Ridcully: They do things differently in the mountains. And more often.
  • That said, the discrepancy could be because of the time-shift during Wyrd Sisters, which Shawn knows about, but the Wizards probably don't. Of course, since she's had three husbands ("and that's only the official score"), plus who knows how many other liaisons...
• Supreme Chef: While she very rarely bothers cooking for herself these days, she's actually a very good cook, with a speciality in aphrodisiac dishes, the effectiveness of which, as Maskerade reveals, is unquestionable.
• Sympathy for the Devil: Nanny delivers a threat to the King of the Elves, and admits that "I'd be a little bit sorry, 'cos I've always had a soft spot for you"... but that doesn't mean that she won't go through with it.
• Technician Versus Performer: The performer to Granny's technician. She's the life of the party, can get to know people instantly and is suggested to have more raw talent (if not power - it's ambiguous), but Granny works harder. At the Witch Trials, Granny wins and Nanny gets drinks from people saying "It was a good try." Both are entirely happy with this arrangement.
• Through His Stomach: Publicly disdains this saying, commenting that it's lousy advice unless the context is instructions for stabbing someone to death (in which case, it's up and under the ribcage). Despite this, she knows enough aphrodisiac or libido-boosting dishes to publish a cookbook devoted to them.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: with Granny. The third member of their trio tends to end up as The Chew Toy as a method of defusing this.
• Witch Classic: of course.

Magrat Garlick

Third witch in a small coven consisting of herself ("The Maiden"), Nanny Ogg ("The Mother") and Granny Weatherwax ("The... Other One"). Initially a naive young woman who tries a little too hard to be nice to everyone, and who believes in the healing power of nature and all that other hippie rubbish. Magrat is a romantic soul with an open mind... so open, in fact, she's always letting in ideas before she can really think about them. However, she's quite skilled and quite dangerous when she gets her act together. She eventually goes on to marry Verence II, the King of Lancre.

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• A-Cup Angst: Is noted to have a very small bust ("two peas on an ironing board" are the exact words used), and is rather insecure about this prior to marrying Verence - a boost in her self-esteem, plus the steely effect of becoming a Mama Bear in Carpe Jugulum mean she's much more self-confident (and becoming).
• Beware the Nice Ones: People often overlook her (understandably, considering that most of their attention is occupied by the overtly terrifying Granny Weatherwax), making her Let's Get Dangerous! moments that much more effective.
• Breast Plate: In Lords and Ladies, while wearing the armor of the fictional queen Ynci.
• Character Development: Unlike the other two, Magrat changes considerably - particularly in Lords and Ladies.
• Cornered Rattlesnake: Oft frequently compared to a small animal "whose life is destined to end in a damp squeak", but when pushed into a corner, it's shown that animal is in fact slightly more mongoose-y than previously thought.
• Embarrassing First Name: Magrat hates her first name, which was supposed to be Margaret, but her mother misspelled it; she thinks that it sounds like "something that lived in a hole in a river bank and was always getting flooded out."
• Extreme Doormat: Comes with being a wet hen. What little self-confidence she has tends to curl up and die in the face of the overwhelming force that is Granny Weatherwax glowering at her. The last vestiges of this fade during Lords and Ladies, with her reappearance in Carpe Jugulum demonstrating that rather than being a wet hen, becoming a Mama Bear means that, at most, she's only slightly damp.
• Failed Attempt at Drama: Early on in Wyrd Sisters she tries to be more dramatic about witching, because she thinks that's how witching should be. Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg ain't having with it (though they do acknowledge Magrat's eldritch tones were impressive).
• Granola Girl: Explicitly designed by the author to be this, with it being noted in the afterword that there were a lot of Magrats about after Flower Power died down.
  "Magrat Garlick, you are a wet hen!"
• Hidden Depths: She's a genuinely powerful witch once she gets past her tendency towards impracticality (see what she did to the oak door in Wyrd Sisters, which even Granny is impressed by) and she's capable of being remarkably dangerous when put in a corner. She's also got skill with herbs and medicine that even Granny, who primarily uses her own brand of psychology, acknowledges as some of the best in the mountains. The narration explicitly notes in Lords and Ladies that while Granny's awareness/exploitation of the placebo effect makes her by far the better witch, Magrat's meticulous approach to medicine makes her a much better doctor.
• The High Queen: Becomes Queen of Lancre after marrying Verence.
• His Own Worst Enemy: As Granny puts it, in her own indelicate way, there's no-one quite like Magrat for getting in the way of her own life.
• Hypocritical Humor: Her response to the accusation that witches are cruel, sadistic, murdering hags:
  Witches just aren't like that. We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it's wicked of them to say we don't. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead.
• I Know Kung Fu: She studied up on it for the spiritual stuff, but during Witches Abroad she manages to put the practical to good use in escaping a ball room.
• Let's Get Dangerous!: Magrat usually turns badass at least one time per book where she appears, even sufficient to grudgingly impress Granny.
• Mama Bear: After becoming a mother, she's notably become this. Agnes/Perdita comment on it, noting that mothers aren't 'wet' as Magrat used to be, merely 'slightly damp', and Perdita isn't at all sure she likes the new "mother" Magrat.
• Morphic Resonance: Which is applied entirely to her hair. No matter what Magrat does, it soon springs back to looking like it's been dragged through a bush.
• Muggle–Mage Romance: Develops one with Verence.
• My Nayme Is: Her unfortunate name is due to the fact that her mother couldn't spell "Margaret" on her birth certificate.^note In some British accents, "Margaret" is pronounced "MAH-grit." When Magrat names her own daughter Esmerelda, she adds a "Note Spelling" to the christening card. This doesn't turn out all that well.
• Nice, Mean, and In-Between: The nice one along with Granny (mean) and Nanny (in-between).
• Royals Who Actually Do Something: In I Shall Wear Midnight, it's revealed that she's gone back to making potions after initially giving it up to marry King Verence.
  • Her first step into her royal role is when she was horrified at the state of the herb garden at the castle in Lords and Ladies to the point of invoking queenly authority to have things handled.
• Shrinking Violet: Can come across as one, especially in Wyrd Sisters, though over the course of the books she gains a lot of self-confidence.
• Strawman Emotional: Makes situations worse by thinking along traditional fairy-tale lines (e.g. elves are good, magic can solve all problems...) in contrast to Granny's pragmatism.
• This Looks Like a Job for Aquaman: In Lords and Ladies Granny brings a patient to Magrat because Magrat knows herbs and herbal healing better than anyone and that's what said patient needs.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Towards Granny, who's a reluctant Trickster Mentor to her.
• Wide-Eyed Idealist: Debuts as this, and though she slowly learns the ways of the world and gets harder and tougher she still believes in making things better for people.
• Witch Classic: Herb-related habits aside, not remotely.

Agnes Nitt

AKA "that Agnes who calls herself Perditax", Agnes is the third witch after Magrat leaves, and indeed Maskerade is about Nanny and Granny coming to Ankh-Morpork specifically to get her. Agnes is a shy, helpful, insecure fat girl who's sick and tired of being a shy, helpful, insecure fat girl (and people trying to reassure her by saying she's got good hair and a wonderful personality), and has thus developed a bit of an edge to her personality. She's able to sing in harmony with herself, thanks to a little quirk in her psychology that's exacerbated by her natural leanings towards witchcraft: she has a complete alternate personality that she unknowingly created herself. Naming it Perdita X Dream, it's the snarky inner monologue that comes out to make a mess of Agnes' life when she least expects it, but also helps her out a few times. She eventually learns to control Perdita, and falls in (and out) of love with a handsome young vampire in her second starring book.

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• Ascended Extra: Originally introduced in Lords and Ladies as just a member of Diamanda's coven, albeit probably the most sensible and with one scene from her perspective.
• Awesome McCoolname: Agnes hates her ordinary name, and wants to be called Perdita X Dream, where X stands for "person who has a cool and interesting middle name". When Agnes tells other people she'd like to be called this, they usually end up calling her "that Agnes who wants to be called Perditax"
• Brawn Hilda: The fact that she's a very big, beefy, solidly built sort of girl comes up a lot. Especially since her appearance in Maskerade has her play the part of the large operatic singer. It's justified, as the Ramtops are basically "Northern European Mountain Country" and so this is actually considered an ideal to look for in a wife; a classically pretty woman might look sexier, but a solid Lancre girl both has the muscle to handle the hardships of life in the mountains and is probably a Supreme Chef — cooking lasts longer than kissing, as the traditional Lancrastian saying goes.
• Born in the Wrong Century: It's remarked several times in Maskerade that for most of the history of Opera when all of the female leads were large women she would have been a legendary star. Unfortunately, the last twenty years or so has shifted the focus to conventionally attractive girls with singing ability considered a nice but optional bonus.
• Butt-Monkey: Poor girl never seems to catch a break. The end of Maskerade is something close to a Humiliation Conga. Her life gets a bit better after she becomes an official witch.
• Deadpan Snarker: Perdita, who in Carpe Jugulum has taken to provide a running commentary inside Agnes's head... and sometimes through Agnes's voice, causing everyone to get angry at Agnes for it.
• Extreme Doormat: Fears becoming this in Maskerade; fortunately, witchery distills doormat-hood out of you.
• Gentle Giant: Perdita puts it best when she points out that Agnes "has all these muscles she's afraid of using."
• Meaningful Name: "Agnes" means "lamb," but "Perdita" means "lost."
• Musical Assassin: The top of her impressive vocal range has occasionally been used for tricks such as breaking glass, while the bottom end affects people's bowels.
• Put on a Bus: Has not been seen since Carpe Jugulum, and most of the young witch-in-training focus shifted to Tiffany Aching. Returned in The Shepherd's Crown, explaining that she'd gotten back into singing and had been on an extended tour of the Disc.
• Split Personality: Agnes basically created her "Perdita" persona in order to get away from herself, which turns out to be a bad idea for a girl with natural magical abilities. The result was that she got stuck with a separate, annoying voice in her head who complains about everything, wants to rebel against everything, and occasionally takes over the body to say or do something nasty, leaving Agnes to deal with the consequences.
• Stout Strength: Perdita, when in control of the body in Carpe Jugulum, demonstrates that Agnes is actually extremely strong but is afraid of using her muscles. As is observed in Maskerade, she's got the typical build for Lancre womanhood dialled up, which includes the ability to carry a pig under each arm.
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Invoked in-story, as she's deliberately brought in by Nanny and Granny to take Magrat's role in the witches' coven. Agnes is actually quite unlike Magrat, though.
• Weight Woe: She struggles a lot with this trope, particularly in Maskerade. A bit of a Deconstruction, though, as a large part of her personality is how annoying she finds the stereotype and how hard she works on avoiding it.
• Witch Classic: Unlike Magrat, she dresses the part, and develops some of the relevant steel as her arc goes on.
• You Can't Fight Fate: Maskerade centres around her desire to give up witchery, go far away, and make a career out of singing. Unfortunately, in this case, Granny Weatherwax is on Team Fate. Agnes returns to Lancre. Averted later; after she'd been unaccounted for for several books it's explained that she went back to singing offscreen with much more success.

King Verence II

He'd always slept in front of the door to his master. And now he was king, he slept in front of the door to his kingdom.

His initial appearance in Wyrd Sisters was as the court Fool, and his name was unknown until Magrat used magic to find it out. He ended up on the throne of Lancre after the usurper Duke Felmet, more or less because no one else was better qualified or interested in the job, and possibly something to do with that mysterious droit de signeur business. Verence is small, shy and unassuming, and his subjects are amiably indifferent to him, provided he looks appropriately kingly at ceremonies and doesn't interfere with their lives too much. He eventually married Magrat in Lords and Ladies.

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• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Normally Verence is a bit of an inoffensive wimp (probably because being an inoffensive wimp was largely what kept him alive before he became King), but he eventually stands up to Duke Felmet and reveals that he saw him [Felmet] murder the old King, despite knowing that Felmet will probably kill him for it. He also attacks one of Felmet's guards who was pulling the I Have You Now, My Pretty routine on Magrat - though it's also noted that he's a terrible fighter. And then, after he becomes King, just watch what happens when the Pictsies give him some of their brew...
  • In his debut novel he came up with the plan to discredit the Witches, which was in Granny's belief the most dangerous and unstoppable threat they'd ever faced, because it couldn't be fought but had to be prevented as soon as possible. Good thing he switched sides.
• Dark and Troubled Past: He had an abusive childhood at the hands of a perfectionist jester grandfather, and then he was sent for training at the Fools' Guild, which he absolutely loathed.
• Distressed Dude: Gets kidnapped by the Elf Queen in Lords and Ladies. Magrat saves him.
• Does Not Like Spam: Because of his background from the Fool's Guild, he hates custard pie. He even made custard illegal in Lancre.
• Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Portrayed as such in the animated version of Wyrd Sisters. The main difference between him and his half-brother is that Tomjon isn't nearly so pale.
• Establishing Character Moment: The first time we see him in Wyrd Sisters nicely sums him up. He's playing cards with the castle's cook and happens to give a very insightful and concise definition of the word "Zen" that totally flies over the cook's head. Just as the cook starts to grow suspicious, he makes a stupid joke and then, just to be safe, loses the next several hands. Verence likes to keep his head down and avoid conflict whenever possible, but he's also far more intelligent and cunning than he seems to be at first glance.
• Extreme Doormat: He's an intelligent and well-meaning person, but he spent his life prior to becoming King under the thumb of his abusive grandfather in a Boarding School of Horrors, then, save for a brief period under Verence I, as Fool to an insane King and his psychopathic Queen. It got to the point where he hunched in on himself just to look less threatening. He also shares Magrat's dangerously broad mind, and trying so desperately to be a kindly, just king that he misses the points where it might have been wise to exert some authority. He gets a bit more respect after Carpe Jugulum.
• The Good King: Played with. He is more considerate of ruling people and is smarter at ruling than most other kings of Lancre, in the end he's still just one of the many kings of Lancre and so no one really pays heed to him until the berserker incident in Carpe Jugulum. Most of his lofty attempts at reform are either ignored or viewed with suspicion by the conservative, hard-nosed and practical people of Lancre, but they recognize and respect that he is working hard at trying to make things better, even if it rarely works out.
• Heel–Face Turn: He was never much of a Heel to begin with, in Wyrd Sisters, being a Punch-Clock Villain at worst, but he performs one by revealing that he saw Felmet murder Verence I.
• Heroic Willpower: Possibly to the point of very low-level Psychic Powers. Verence I is able to make some kind of contact with him (if limited due to the-then Fool's chronic nerves) and ghosts are restricted to contacting relatives and the psychically inclined, and the Fool's parentage is very much in doubt. More generally, he seems to have a low-level degree of awareness for unusual mystical events. It's best shown in Carpe Jugulum - he's the only character other than Granny Weatherwax, Agnes, and Pastor Oats to show any degree of resistance to the Magpyr family's influence, to the point where they effectively have to put a permanent enchantment on him to make it stick. Since that list includes two powerful witches, one of them indisputably the most powerful witch on the Disc and the other literally in two minds (granting her a degree of immunity) and an incipient Badass Preacher who's also in two minds (and hinted to have a degree of psychic resistance), it's pretty impressive.
• Hidden Depths: He's got remarkable amounts of Heroic Willpower, shown in Carpe Jugulum, when resisting the Magpyr family's control. He doesn't totally manage it, but it's clear that there is an internal battle going on, whereas no one else, not even Magrat (ex-witch) or Nanny (current witch) even notice that there's anything wrong, and they have to put a 'fluence' on him to make it stick. The only other people who managed to resist were Granny Weatherwax (who's, well, Granny Weatherwax), Agnes (who has the advantage of being effectively two people in one body, on a metaphorical see-saw - squash one, and the other comes up to give you a nasty surprise), and Pastor Oats (also two people in one body).
  • Even in Wyrd Sisters he showed that he's far smarter than most give him credit for, understanding the nature of Zen riddles and the power of gossip and rumors. And despite being an extremely reluctant Punch-Clock Villain, he concocts a plan that presents arguably the most existential threat that the witches face - and it comes frighteningly close to succeeding, as Granny acknowledges.
• Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: Played with. He becomes King of Lancre after Prince Tomjon, who grew up as a Happily Adopted son of traveling performers in Ankh-Morpork completely oblivious to his royal parentage and so wants nothing to do with a backwater like Lancre, is revealed to be Verence II's half-brother. The whole kingdom immediately accepts this, because King Verence I was well-known to enjoy chasing after women, so the idea that he could have seduced the wife of his own Fool is perfectly believable. The truth, however, is that Verence II and Tomjon are maternal half-brothers; Verence II's mother just named him after his father's boss on a whim, and Tomjon was the bastard son of Verence I's Fool and the Queen of Lancre. Only Nanny Ogg and Magrat know this for sure, with it being unclear if Granny Weatherwax knows, and they keep it to themselves.
• Medieval Stasis: He's battling it, but not having much success. He's created a model farm to show off the benefits of crop rotation, but the Lancrastians just don't care. He's tried to adopt a parliament, but his subjects figure there's no point in ruling themselves; that's the whole point in getting themselves a King.
• Muggle–Mage Romance: Develops one with Magrat - though he may not be entirely muggle.
• Nice Guy: He is fundamentally a very gentle, very decent man who tries extremely hard to fulfil what he perceives to be his duty as King. Unfortunately, despite his Heroic Willpower, he's prone to letting people walk all over him.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: For an ally to the Witches (and wife to one of them), he has quite the skill for giving them trouble.
  • The strategy he concocts for Felmet - discrediting the witches through slander, gossip and a play that casts them in a bad light - is the most apocalyptic threat to the witches they've ever faced. The Fool's concocted story would have reduced all witches - past, present, and yet to come - to nothing more than mumbling wicked crones, and it came frighteningly close to succeeding. Only the Cunning Man compares, and even then, the Cunning Man is an entity that can be confronted. And Verence came up with it only to avoid Lady Felmet's preferred alternative.
  • Then there's his inviting vampires to Lancre for diplomatic relations in Carpe Jugulum...
• Obfuscating Stupidity: As a Fool, he keeps his head down and tries acting stupid and thus harmless. While most characters miss it, it's fairly obvious to the reader that he's a lot smarter than he pretends. Nanny Ogg, who's made an art of this in her own right, sees straight through it and points it out to Magrat.
  Lady Felmet: You are not entirely a fool, are you?
• Punch-Clock Villain: In Wyrd Sisters, as he's working for Felmet. Despite his reluctance, he's actually remarkably dangerous, on the grounds that he knows exactly how to do the most damage to the witches, via rumour and manipulation of perception (which he suggests on the misguided but well-meaning grounds that it'll mean fewer people dying).
• Rags to Royalty: He was the royal Fool before being made king by Granny.
• Royals Who Actually Do Something: He sincerely wishes does his best to improve the country through political and social reforms. The people of Lancre politely listen to his suggestions and then ignore him and keep doing what they've always done.
• Pungeon Master: Was this as the Fool. He had to be reeled in a bit by the Duke, but slowly gets out of it by the time of his kinghood.
• Sad Clown: Of the literal kind, in Wyrd Sisters. He's a court jester whose main moods are depression and paranoia, and who doesn't really do a very good job of hiding it because he's terrible at the clowning business, as per the Fool's Guild model.
• Straight Man: Though initially a Fool, he literally Cannot Tell a Joke.
  Verence: Marry, sire —
  Duke Felmet: I am already extremely married.
• The Wise Prince: Verence is "conscientious, hard-working, and consequently held in quiet contempt." In accordance with the Rule of Funny, when he goes on a (chemically assisted) berserker rampage to free Lancre in Carpe Jugulum, his subjects finally start to warm to him.
  • On the other hand, Verence also sometimes tries to apply things he's read about kingship or technology without really thinking about them, which sometimes causes problems. Some of Magrat's issues in Lords and Ladies stem from how Verence is treating her (such as saying they will be married instead of asking her) which Verence is only doing because he thinks it's how a king is supposed to act and because Granny sent him a letter telling him to, in regards to the wedding, since she knew Magrat would never get around to it otherwise.

Jason Ogg

Nanny Ogg's eldest son, a blacksmith and master farrier. A big gentle soul, he's slow of thought, but it's best not to get him annoyed, because he's quite capable of picking up a pair of struggling men by the scruffs of their necks. And as he's Nanny Ogg's son, he knows more about what magical fol-de-rol should and shouldn't be messed with than your typical Lancre peasant.

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• Everyone Has Standards: If a commission will end up killing the shoed animal (like shoing an unicorn with iron horseshoes), he won't accept it. It's not clear whether or not this would strip him of his blacksmithing prowess (see The Perils of Being the Best below).
• Friend to All Living Things:
  • Is gentle and loving to the beasts that are brought to him to shoe, and refuses to do any job that will hurt the creature involved. When his neighbors brought him an ant to see if he could shoe it, he not only did so but made sure the procedure was painless.
  "I was up all night with that ant. Didn't feel a thing."
  • In Witches Abroad he asks Magrat to watch out for the various monsters and mythical creatures he's read about while she's traveling with Nanny and Granny. "Watch out for" meaning "take care of" because most of those creatures are endangered and he knows what Nanny and Granny will do if threatened.
  • Subverted for laughs with the reveal of just what his process for dealing with unruly horses is; smack 'em between the eyes with a hammer, and while they're dazed tell them if they don't behave, he'll have their goolies on t'anvil.
• Gentle Giant: Probably one of the physically strongest human characters in the series (in Lords and Ladies, he attacks the elves with the nearest blunt object he could find — another elf), but nice as all get out, if a bit slow.
• Momma's Boy: He's an enormous blacksmith in his mid forties... and reverts to a four year old boy when his mother starts asking penetrating questions.
• The Perils of Being the Best: To retain his skill and status as ultimate blacksmith, he cannot turn down any commission, whether it's ridiculous, (such as shoeing an ant) or otherworldly/impossible. (Making horseshoes for unicorns or Death's horse.)
• Small Parent, Huge Child: Nanny Ogg is a small, round lady. Her son Jason is a blacksmith who looks like he was constructed rather than born.
• Ultimate Blacksmith: The greatest blacksmith in the world, he can shoe anything, even an ant. The catch is, he must shoe anything people bring him to be shod, or he won't have the reputation of being able to do so. One of the odd things he has to shoe on a semi-regular basis is Death's horse, Binky. Jason, for his part, takes this in stride, doing the job blindfolded, working very hard not to think about what's going on, and never, ever using the metal from the horseshoes he replaces for another living creature.

Shawn Ogg

Nanny Ogg's youngest son, a helper at Lancre Castle with a multitude of roles including captain of the guard, the guard, and about a dozen other jobs, including the butler on occasion.

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• Jack of All Trades: He does every job around the castle that doesn't demand special training, and does them all fairly competently and with roughly the same amount of enthusiasm. He does sometimes get carried away, though.
• Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: There is some uncertainty as to whether his father truly is Sobriety Ogg, who by all records died some time before Shawn was born. While there is a bit of wibblyness thanks to the witches's antics in Wyrd Sisters, given Nanny's own proclivities, some doubt is not unwarranted.
• Undying Loyalty: To Verence.

Greebo

Nanny Ogg's heavily battle-scarred tom-cat, who has, through dint of considerable effort, become the paternal ancestor to every single cat in Lancre for the last thirty generations. Vicious, as typically sadistic as one would expect from a cat, and deceptively intelligent (at least, for a cat), he's dangerous enough even before he gains the ability to turn into a human in Witches Abroad.

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• Achievements in Ignorance: Once managed to kill a vampire while it was in bat form, primarily because he didn't know it was a vampire (and likely wouldn't have let that stop him). Besides, no-one's ever said anything on the subject of vampires rising from the cat before...
• All Girls Want Bad Boys: Described as, in human form, emitting a kind of 'greasy sexuality in the megawatt range', and being extremely attractive to anyone who doesn't know what he really is - and even Granny Weatherwax goes a little pink when she sees him as a human for the first time (thereafter, she just treats him as a damn cat, because that's what he is).
• Amplified Animal Aptitude: Even before his stint as a human, he's smarter than a cat has any right to be.
• Badass Abnormal: Despite, for the most part, being a large and vicious house cat, he'll happily maul anything he can get his claws into - Carpe Jugulum mentions that he once brought down an elk, and he successfully eats a vampire in Witches Abroad. He's also casually mentioned as bringing in "half a wolf" in Wintersmith in the same manner that an ordinary cat might bring in a dead mouse or, at a stretch, a rabbit, and that bears climb trees when he passes. The only things that scare him are elves, feegles, Legba (Mrs Gogol's very strange cockerel), and You, Granny Weatherwax's cat (who took on certain aspects of her owner's personality early on).
• Cats Are Mean: Is he ever... though he's pleasant enough to Nanny, the Fool/Verence II, Mrs Pleasant, and Walter Plinge, largely because they're among the few people who'll willingly feed him (or in Verence's case, be suitably entertaining).
• Forced Transformation: Turned into a human in Witches Abroad by Granny, Nanny, and Magrat out of necessity, and finds it an amusing experience. This leaves him with the ability to turn into one when pushed into a corner - whereupon he usually spends his brief period of humanity searching desperately for some underwear.
• Lovable Sex Maniac: 'Lovable' stretches the definition of the word to extremes, but despite his propensity as a cat to sexually assault everything from female cats to a freaking bear, when he's human, he's described by a noble lady who gets Mugged for Disguise by Granny Weatherwax in Witches Abroad and encounters him in her underwear as being 'eager, but shy'. On the other hand, he does express, ahem, interest in Embers earlier in the same book, before Nanny belts him over the head with her boot, so perhaps it's learned behaviour - or just avoiding making Greebo too unsympathetic.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: Greebo is unpleasant and vicious, and can also be relied upon to go off 'like a Claymore Mine' on whatever villain is within range. That being said, he's about as likely to do the same on whatever hero, bystander or animal is within range as well...
• Psychotic Smirk: He's got a wicked smile that he usually smiles, slowly, for effect, in both cat and human forms to intimidate people. The only thing it doesn't work on is Legba, Mrs Gogol's very strange cockerel (things it does work on include wolves, alligators, and armed soldiers).
• Really Gets Around: Granny's kitten You is possibly the only cat in Lancre younger than Greebo who doesn't have Greebo in its ancestry at least once, and in some cases three or four times.
• Sexy Cat Person: In human form, he is described as a battle-scarred Hell-Bent for Leather tough guy exuding enough bad-boy sexuality to leave any non-lesbian woman who sees him practically catatonic (excepting Granny Weatherwax, and even she goes pink when she first sees him - afterwards, she just treats him as a damn cat, which is what he is.).
• Stealth Hi/Bye: Befitting a cat, he can appear out of nowhere and in complete silence - it even works in human form, despite being six foot tall and muscular.
• Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Or a sweet kitten, anyway, with it being noted on several occasions that that's how Nanny Ogg always sees him (despite intellectually knowing better). Everyone else, by contrast, has a more accurate opinion that he's an absolute menace, with one piece of official art of him being encircled by the line, "Something wicked this way comes."
• Wolverine Claws: Short ones as a human.
• Would Hit a Girl: This has been thoroughly stamped out of Greebo, at least in human form, having been 'educated' in not ravishing human women by sharp application of Nanny' boot to the back of his head.

Geoffrey Swivel

The Discworld's first witcher (male witch). The youngest son of a lord, Geoffrey had a better interest in taking care of the land and animals. He keeps a goat as a familiar.

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• Call to Agriculture: Was born into wealth, but took to this instead.
• Distaff Counterpart: To Eskarina Smith. Both were born in the wrong gender position (a female wizard, a male witch) and both appear in Granny Weatherwax stories (Eskarina the first story, Geoffrey the final story - this also qualifies as a Bookend).
• Foil: To most witch candidates. Witches operate on using their heads, Brutal Honesty, and Good Is Not Soft so as to correct the wrongs in their home turf; Geoffrey is a Friend to All Living Things and master at Politeness Judo, who wants to be a witch so as to have witch's freedom to be who he is. This earns him the unusual niche of being a "calm-weaver" or "peace-weaver" (itself a pun on what people usually call a male witch, a "warlock").
• Friend to All Living Things: One of Geoffrey's main strength is his ability to befriend just about anyone, no matter their age, sex, gender or species. He gets along with people and animals alike.
• The Unfavorite: He's this to his father because he prefers books to bloodsports.
• Politeness Judo: He's good at getting people to agree with him despite themselves, just by being calm and friendly. It doesn't work on his father, but it works on most other people.
• Virtuous Vegetarianism: Like Magrat, he's a vegetarian, largely because he abhors cruelty to animals. Unlike Magrat, he doesn't really get preachy about it.
• Youngest Child Wins: The youngest of three sons, and the one who breaks away from their overbearing father. Though his two older brothers are portrayed sympathetically and seem to admire him for being able to take a stand.