Live-Action Films / Arson Murder And Jaywalking

"They rot, the world rots. Global warming, black plague, bad cell reception, get it?"

— Proctor, R.I.P.D.

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking in Films

Our Moral Guardians' attempts to give us a measure of some or other work against their serious verified and absolute morale standards all too often will include funny items:
- The IMDb parental guides have a lot of these. Laundry lists of terrifying violence and brutality followed by "A man and a woman argue about parking tickets." A great example is for Caligula, where the Violence section has, along with gems such as "A man is suffocated with a cloth and he dies." and "A machine with huge blades cuts peoples heads off lots of blood and heads roll"... "A woman is slapped."
- Critics have fun with this when writing good reviews:
  This was a brilliant film, one of my all time favourites as it had everything, rebellion, violence, horror, adventure, religion, death, slavery and bad language.
- Nothing can beat CAP-Alert for this: "This film contains murder, blasphemy, and bare male chests."
- The MPAA is similarly ridiculous when rating films.
  - Sydney White is rated PG-13 for "some language, sexual humor and partying." 17 Again lists similar reasons.
  - Screenit.com also judges whether films are family-friendly using categories like Sex/Nudity, Violence, Blood/Gore, and Suspenseful Music. They also consider an unclothed female mannequin to belong in the Sex/Nudity section.
  - Their rating of Star Trek (2009) had the last entry under imitative behavior, including swearing and driving a car over a cliff, as:
  "Some kids might imitate the Vulcan hand gesture of spreading apart the two adjacent fingers on each side of the hand."
  - Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (2010) could give it a run for its money. Its official MPAA rating is PG, for "fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar. " Well, alright then. They might get in even more of an uproar if they knew what he was smoking. Give you a hint: It's not tobacco. Despite mixed reviews, The Dove Foundation took an image of Alice (holding the White Rabbit), added a few ideas and VOLIA! A FAMILY-APPROVED CLASSIC!
  - The rating of My Spy: The Eternal City tops Alice in Wonderland. The film was rated PG-13 for "violence/action, some strong language, suggestive references, teen drinking, and a nude sculpture." Apparently, sculptures now get an automatic PG-13 rating.
The 42nd Street Forever Exploitation Film trailer compilation DVDs are prone to this due to featuring trailers from all kinds of movies. 42nd Street Forever Volume 2: The Deuce includes trailers for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Ms. 45 and...Skatetown USA, a roller disco movie with Scott Baio, Flip Wilson, Ruth Buzzi, "And Introducing Patrick Swayze."
The 5,000 Fingers Of Dr. T:
"First Floor Dungeon: Assorted simple tortures. Molten lead, chopping blocks, and hot boiling oil.
Second Floor Dungeon: Jewelry Department."
- But subverted with the very next line...
"Leg chains, ankle chains, wrist chains, neck chains, thumb screws and nooses of the very finest rope!"
Used and toyed with in Addams Family Values when the family comes to Debbie's house to visit Fester:
Morticia: You have gone too far. You have married Fester. You have destroyed his spirit. You have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But Debbie?
Debbie: What?
Morticia: (reproachfully, eying the decor) Pastels?
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension has this in the President's response to Buckaroo's briefing on the situation:
Buckaroo, I don't know what to say. Lectroids. Planet ten. Nuclear extortion. A girl named John?
Gary Oldman's terrorist character in Air Force One: "When you talk to the President, you might remind him that I am holding his wife, his daughter, his chief of staff, his national security adviser, his classified papers — and his baseball glove!"
"Dammit! Nobody does this to the United States! The president will get his glove back and play catch with this guy's balls!"
Newspaper headlines in Airplane!:
Rex Kramer: Passengers certain to die!
Steve McCroskey: Airline negligent.
Johnny: There's a sale at Penney's!
In Airplane II: The Sequel, stewardess Elaine makes an announcement to the passengers of the film's Space Shuttle-like spacecraft: they're half a million miles off course, missing a navigational system, and being bombarded by asteroids. The passengers remain calm, until...
Passenger: Miss, are you telling us absolutely everything?
Elaine: Not exactly. We're also out of coffee.
[riot breaks out]
American Gangster: Frank Lucas wants to get heroin directly from the producers, who live deep in the South Asian jungle. His cousin really doesn't want to go: "There's snakes, Viet Cong, and mosquitoes that'll fuckin' kill yo' ass!"
Ant-Man and the Wasp: After being shot full of Truth Serum and found by the FBI, Sonny Burch readily confesses to ordering several murders, leading a criminal gang, and committing loads of health code violations in his restaurant, "Some of which would shock you."
In Aquaman (2018), during the first duel between Arthur and Orm, Arthur's display describes his cons as being a surface dweller, a half breed... and a drunk.
The tagline for Army of Darkness: "Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas."
In The Asphalt Jungle, Commissioner Hardy is dissatisfied with one of his officer's performance on duty and has three options for him: Reduce him to patrolman, bring him up for trial on charges of incompetence or ... give him one more chance to make good on his responsibilities.
Austin Powers: When he learns Dr. Evil has hijacked nuclear weapons, Austin says that only two things scare him, and one is nuclear war. When asked what his second fear was, he says "carnies."
In Avengers: Age of Ultron, Hawkeye lampshades his role on the team:
Hawkeye: The city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots... and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense.
In Bad Boys (1995), a convenience store clerk mistakes Detectives Burnett and Lowrey for robbers and holds them at gunpoint. When they turn the tables on the clerk and draw their own guns, they say the following:
Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles!
In the 1976 version of The Bad News Bears, Tanner drops this gem when Amanda joins the team:
Tanner: Jews, spics, niggers, and now a girl?
Batman Returns, the Penguin was furious that he failed to kill Batman when he rigged his car.
Penguin: He didn't even lose a limb! An eye ball! Bladder control!
Rose Ratliff from Big Business (1988) is prone to this.
- She complains about all the noise, smog, crowds, muggers, sex fiends and politicians on the limo ride to Manhattan.
- She complains during breakfast about Moramax trying to bribe them, then handing them their plans to strip mine Jupiter Hollow and overcharging them for pancakes.
Subverted in Billy Madison (combined with a compressed Brick Joke) by Billy's father after learning that Billy was telling the truth the whole time. He proceeds to describe what happened, and then adds in offhand that Eric's secretary is in a coma,
"First the psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric's secretary is in a coma."
Black Adam (2022): Amon's first scene has him lecture an Intergang Mook about all of the terrible things their corrupt colonial forces are doing to ruin the country. He ends this serious recital by noting that Intergang forces the local populace to spend a lot of time waiting in line.
Blazing Saddles:
- Hedley Lamarr gives out a long list of evil people that he wants to recruit as mooks, topping it off with a triumphant, "...and Methodists!". There's no given reason why Methodists are lumped in with such villains.
- Later in the film the bigoted people of Rock Ridge face being completely overwhelmed by Lamarr's Evil Army unless they accept the help of a large group of railroad workers, and in return give some of local land to these workers. (Said workers are mostly black and Chinese.) After a bit of discussion the people announce "Ok, we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks, but we don't want the Irish!." This is a deliberate attempt to show how meaningless prejudice and racism is, and how what are now seemingly generic groups were once a major target of such prejudice.
Combined with Insult Backfire in The Borrowers (1997). Potter overhears Arrietty calling him every synonym for "evil" in the book, but only takes offense to being called ugly.
In Brazil, arrested Sam Lowry is presented with a long and painstakingly accurate list of his transgressions, from high treason to overexpenditure of stationery. Because he lives in a dystopia of bureaucracy gone mad, it's actually played for drama.
In Burke & Hare, a woman is executed for "Prostitution, Thievery, Public Drunkeness and a Bad Attitude."
From Caddyshack: "Fooling Around on the Course, Bad Language, Smoking Grass, Poor Caddying."
Caligula, so, so much. In the June 28, 1976 issue of Variety, an ad announcing the beginning of filming included the words, "What better proof that I am God. I have a husband. And a wife. I am all that is and shall ever be." However, nothing about Caligula's husband or his homosexuality made it into the film. So, you could have Malcolm McDowell play a character who engages in rape, torture, murder, incest, bestiality and other horrible acts, but they couldn't say he was gay. The film itself became notorious for scenes of hardcore pornography, graphic violence and...poor editing.
Cheech & Chong's The Corsican Brothers: Fuckaire asks Louis if he would like to say any last words before his public execution.
Louis: The only thing I wanna say is that you've kept me in a dungeon, and you beat me, and you tortured me, and you even kissed me. But I want these people to know, the only thing you've really done is made me really, really hungry.
Clerks: A mother and small child come into the video store to order "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup". Randal phones the distributors and orders a long list of increasingly disturbing porn titles, ending by turning to the mother and saying "Uh, what was that called again?"
One of the taglines for the film of A Clockwork Orange was "Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are rape, ultraviolence and Beethoven."
Inverted in Clue, when the guests locked up the police officer who asked to use the phone.
Cop: Let me outta here! Let me outta here! You have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty... and murder!
Wadsworth: (Wadsworth opens the door, feigning innocence, while other guests gather around) What do you mean... murder?
Cop: I just said it so you would open the door.
Played with in Conan the Barbarian (1982). As far as he is concerned, these offenses are in the proper order:
Thulsa Doom: You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered my servants, and my PETS! And that is what grieves me the most! You killed my snake. Thorgrim is beside himself with grief!
(cut to Thorgrim, who is making a little frown)
- Conan replies in kind.
Conan: You killed my mother! You killed my father, you killed my people! You TOOK MY FATHER'S SWORD!!."
At the end of the training weekend in Dad's Army (1971), General Fullard chews out Captain Mainwaring for turning up late, several counts of damage to army property, nearly causing him and his horse to drown... and for not cashing his check six months ago.
A wordless example from The Dark Knight, when Gordon observes of The Joker that there was "nothing in his pockets but knives and lint", we see a cop laying out various sizes and shapes of knife on a table. The last is a potato peeler, emphasised by a perfect piece of silent comedy as the handler does a brief Double Take. Could also double as Fridge Horror.
Death Becomes Her:
- Helen tells Ernest that Madeline was a homewrecker, a man-eater and a bad actress.
- Madeline then blackmails Ernest about killing Helen.
  Madeline: Do you know what they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest?
When The Collector is trying to tempt Jeryline in Demon Knight:
The Collector: You know, it doesn't have to be unpleasant. Hell, I'd rather it wasn't! All right, I know what you're thinking. You give up your soul, you turn into a demon, you look like shit. Where's the payoff, right?
Not played for comedy in Die Hard when Hans calls out Joe Takagi by listing his sterling business achievements but ending it by saying that Joe is a father of five children.
The Dirty Harry film series:
- In Magnum Force, Harry, delivering his Kirk Summation speech to the vigilante cops, tells them they will eventually start shooting neighbors for letting their dogs piss on their lawn.
- In Sudden Impact, Harry delivers a long monologue about all the rotten things he sees as a homicide cop (babies abandoned in dumpsters, etc.) but says the thing that really gets to him, that really makes him sick to his stomach, is the fact that his partner puts ketchup on his hot dog!
DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story has a video store calling to remind a character that the following DVD's are overdue: Drunken Hussies 3, Backdoor Patrol 5, and Mona Lisa Smile.
Dogma
- Rufus the 13th Apostle is talking to Bethany about Jesus Christ, and lists off some of the things being done in his name that he doesn't like. "Wars! Bigotry! Televangelism!"
- Loki kills a bunch of board members for (among other things) adultery, disowning a gay son, incest, and he tried to kill one woman for not saying "God Bless You" when he sneezed, and he almost shoots her before Bartleby pulls him away.
In Fathom, Ms. Harvill describes her problems as: "Treason, arson, murder and a parking ticket."
The tagline on posters for Fight Club was "Mischief. Mayhem. Soap." This, however, is a subversion: the soap is made out of discarded fat from liposuctions. A straighter example are some of Project Mayhem's antics: among acts of threatening people at gunpoint, massive acts of arson and vandalism, and headlines like "Police Seize Excrement Canon" and "Performance Artist Molested", one simply reads "Power Outage At Local Mall".
A Fish Called Wanda was marketed as "a tale of murder, lust, greed, revenge, and seafood."
In The French Connection, after his partner's been stabbed, Popeye Doyle wants to run the suspect in for that, for drug possession, "and for picking your feet in Poughkeepsie!"
In Fresh Meat, Ritchie Tan's onscreen introduction lists his crimes as murder, kidnapping, and selling fruit without a licence.
Ghostbusters (1984): The warning of the dire consequences of their being incarcerated as Gozer prepares to manifest:
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Gleahan and the Knaves of Industry: Seen toward the end of the movie.
Judge: First degree assault. Seven counts of involuntary manslaughter. Numerous criminal violations of labor laws including wage violation. Failure to maintain a safe work environment. Interfering with the rights of employees to act together. And the city prosecutor would like it noted that if Duluth had laws on jaywalking, you would be accused of that as well.
Near the end of W. C. Fields' The Golf Specialist, we briefly see J. Effingham Bellweather's wanted poster which includes such things as manslaughter and homicide. The next shot is a ten-second pan down a list of his other offenses:
Bigamy,
Passing as the Prince of Wales,
Eating spaghetti in public,
Using hard words in a speakeasy,
Trumping partner's ace,
Spitting in the Gulf Stream,
Jumping board bill in seventeen lunatic asylums,
Failure to pay installments on a strait-jacket,
Possessing a skunk,
Revealing the facts of life to an Indian.
In The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Tuco's rap sheet goes from murder and rape down to transporting a minor across state lines for immoral purposes, and "contrary to the laws of this state, the accused has been found guilty of using marked cards in a poker game!"
- "I'm looking for the owner of that horse. He's tall, blond, he smokes a cigar and he's a pig!"
Godzilla: Final Wars have this happening in the montage where various kaiju are attacking cities across the world. Rodan in New York, Zilla attacking Sydney, Anguirus trampling over Shanghai, King Seesar destroying Okinawa, Kamacuras slicing across Paris... and Kumonga, the last one in the montage, destroying a tiny cabin in the middle of a desert with nary a skyscraper in sight. Presumably, Kumonga was tasked with attacking Las Vegas, but the Xilliens displaces the Giant Spider a few hundred miles away in the Mojave Desert and decide to just leave him there.
In Good Will Hunting, Sean is planning on traveling.
Jerald: Where will you go?
Sean: India, China... and Baltimore.
Groundhog Day has a scene where Phil exploits his temporal vacuum to indulge heretofore inconceivable appetites. A (quite rightly) concerned Rita asks, "Don't you worry about cholesterol, lung cancer, love handles?"
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Right before the final showdown between Peter/Star-Lord and Ego.
Peter: You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman!
Gunless: Sean is introduced being brought into town tied up, with a noose around his neck and a bullet wound in behind, upon finding out he is in Canada, he states he thought it couldn't get any worse.
La Haine: From a window, the guy played by DJ Cut Killer blasts samplings of several Hardcore Hip-Hop songs including a 'Nique la police' ('Fuck the Police') lyric by Suprême NTM along with KRS-One's "Sound of da Police", Assassin's "Je Glisse" and... Édith Piaf's "Non, je ne regrette rien".
In Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, after meeting the Cerberine Fluffy while wandering after curfew, Hermione chastises Harry and Ron, saying, "We could have been killed... or worse, EXPELLED!" Ron mentions that Hermione needs to get her priorities straight.
This exchange in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005).
Arthur : We can talk about being "normal" till the cows come home, but what's "normal"?
Tricia: What's home?
Zaphod: What are cows?
In Hocus Pocus: As they prepare for battle against the witches, Max and his girlfriend Allison go to get a container of salt. They look at the label on the container and Allison reads that salt protects against "zombies, witches and old boyfriends." (To which Max quips, "What about new boyfriends?")
Kent in Hot Shots! doesn't trust Topper because his father bailed on Kent during flight. Yet offhandedly forgives the other members of the team who were more involved in his death, including one who ate him for dinner after he was mistaken for game and shot.
HOUBA! On the Trail of the Marsupilami has this prophecy of The End of the World as We Know It:
Payan Queen: The world will fall into chaos. The birds will sing wrong. The jaguar will be eaten by the rabbit. The tree will cut the lumberjack. And everything will taste like passion fruit.
In How High, the black supremacist Reparation Technical Institute offers students a wide variety of courses, such as Hatred Towards the White Devil, ADVANCED Hatred Towards the White Devil, and Volleyball.
In How the Grinch Stole Christmas!(2000), The Grinch gets invited to celebrate Christmas with the Whos so he takes a look at his schedule and finds there's no time due to other activities.
The Grinch: Four o'clock; wallow in self-pity. Four-thirty; stare into the abyss. Five o'clock; solve world hunger (tell no one). Five-thirty; jazzercise. Six-thirty; dinner with me. I can't cancel that again!
In Hugo, Hugo's crimes are listed as: "Trespass, theft, pilfering, littering... mmmmlering... walking about... playing..."
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1:
- Katniss has conditions for agreeing to be the mockingjay. They are as such: Peeta, Johanna, and Annie will be rescued at the earliest opportunity; they will receive full pardons for any crimes they have been forced to commit by the Capitol, and Primrose gets to keep her cat.
- Josh Hutcherson sums up his character Peeta's trials and tribulations as such:
  Hutcherson: I've been captured. The Capitol has me. And I'm being tortured. And I'm blonde.
Dramatic example from The Ides of March. To a man who will likely soon be running for president: "You can lie, you can cheat, you can start a war, you can bankrupt the country, but you can't fuck the interns."
A composite quote from the Inspector Gadget (1999) trailer and the film proper: "Robo-Gadget apparently has gone berserk in the downtown Riverton area. Reports indicate that he's already caused a major traffic accident, destroyed private property... and set fire to an elderly man's beard." (Cue the Evil Laugh from Robo-Gadget.)
In Instant Family: Ellie describes teenagers as "They do drugs, and they masturbate, and they watch people play video games on youtube."
In Iron Man 2, Black Widow taking down various mooks with her martial arts skills, grappling hooks and tasers. The last guy? He got a pepper spray.
James Bond:
- GoldenEye has this funny little exchange:
  Q: Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break traffic laws.
- In The World Is Not Enough, "R" concludes his run-down of the features of Bond's car with "six beverage cup holders".
In Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008), the trio encounters a volcanic pipe filled with minerals.^note
Sean: Rubies!
Hannah: Emeralds!
Trevor: Feldspar!
In Karate a Muerte en Torremolinos, Orloff describes Malvadades as mysterious, evil, Argentinean and megalomaniac.
The Kentucky Fried Movie
- Segment "United Appeal for the Dead".
  Henry Gibson: ...everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.
- Segment "A Fistful of Yen"
  Pennington: Klahn has been connected with every sort of nefarious activity. You name it: opium, weapons traffic, assassination, motion picture distribution...
The King's Speech has one which doubles as a Funny Moment:
Albert: Fuck. FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck AND FUCK! Fuck, fuck AND BUGGER! Bugger, bugger, BUGGERTY BUGGERTY BUGGERTY, fuck, fuck, ARSE! Balls, balls, FUCKITY, shit, shit, FUCK AND WILLY. WILLY, SHIT AND FUCK AND... tits.
Somewhat lampshaded in Last Action Hero: Jack Slater, upon rescuing his daughter from thugs and escaping several attempts on his life, including the destruction of a good part of his ex-wife's house, breaks into the antagonist Mr. Benedict's mansion, and begins kicking him around, listing a reason for every blow he lands, with the exception of his ex-wife's house, during which, he stands Mr. Benedict up, straightens out his suit, takes his hand, and gently slaps him on the wrist.
The Lost World: Jurassic Park:
Sarah: [to Ian] I've worked around predators since I was 20 years old. Lions, jackals, hyenas... you.
In the made-for-TV film Love Strikes Twice, when Maggie Turner finds herself fifteen years in her own past, she takes the opportunity to save the old town library, choose whether she wants to be with her old boyfriend or her future husband, and helps her brother find a girlfriend (while also guiding him to avoid a relationship that destroyed his self-confidence because someone was playing a bad joke). These essentials dealt with, Maggie also destroys her father’s old ladder before he can suffer an accident on it that will leave him with serious spinal damage in the future.
In MacGruber, Piper gives a long and detailed list of the title hero's accomplishments, noting his distinguished military service and the astonishing number of medals he has been awarded, and ends it with "...and starting Tight End for the University of Texas-El Paso." That must've been some team.
In The Man with Two Brains, Dr. Hfuhruhurr is the only person who can perform surgery at the start of the film, because of Dr. Beckermann's murder. In Europe.
Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Exactly! Not only is he dead, he's 6,000 miles away.
Mars Attacks!: The Martians. They commit arson, murder, shoplifting and even spying on people having sex.
Men in Black:
- Agents Jay and Kay are accosting an alien pawnbroker/armsdealer about dealing illegal alien weapons and tech, and some stolen Rolexes.
Kay: All right... That's confiscated. All of it. And I want you on the next transport off this rock or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back.
Jay: Yeah and... and... and I'm gonna be back to talk about them Rolexes.
- Later, when Zed is listing off the professions of the candidates: "Marines, Navy SEALS, Army Rangers... NYPD."
Ivan Ooze in Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie announces the evil things he'd missed while he was Sealed Evil in a Can: "The Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition! The Brady Bunch reunion!" This was an ad-lib.
In the Disney Channel movie Minutemen, several government officials run in flashing badges and screaming the name of their respective organizations. "FBI!" "CIA!" "Bureau of Weights and Measures." They tell the last guy that he should go in first next time.
In Mirrormask, a trio of Mooks ask the Dark Queen what they should do with their new prisoner:
Mook 1: Shall we lock her up?
Mook 2: Extort a confession?
Mook 3: Deny her ice cream?
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children: Barron is not going to give up on his big plan. He spent years hunting down Peculiars. He has dedicated his life to searching for Ymbrynes. He even spent two - no, three! - three days in Wales pretending to look at birds.
Molly's Game: Molly is convicted of running illegal poker games. She avoids jail, but she's a convicted felon, it will be hard for her to get a good job, she won't be able to vote, "and, for some reason, I can't go to Canada."
In Monty Python's Life of Brian, during Pilate's address in Jerusalem, the people were mocking his speech impediment. When he questioned one of the fake prisoners they requested to be set free:
"He's a wobber!"
"And a wapist!"
"And a pickpocket!" (the one saying it being shouted down)
A classic from Moonstruck:
I took the name of the Lord in vain, I slept with the brother of my fiance, and I bounced a check at the liquor store.
Morning Glory plays this straight when star reporter Mike Pomeroy enters the set and declares: "I've won eight Peabodies, a Pulitzer, sixteen Emmys, I was shot through the forearm in Bosnia, pulled Colin Powell from a burning jeep, laid a cool washcloth on Mother Teresa's forehead during a cholera epidemic, had lunch with Dick Cheney." Becky takes him down a peg by responding "You're here for the money."
Mouth to Mouth as summarized by the crew: "How Sherry loses her virginity, her illusions and her lip ring in one trippy road trip across Europe."
From The Muppet Christmas Carol:
Emily Cratchit: I suppose that on the blessed day of Christmas one must drink to the health of Mr Scrooge. Even though he is odious...
The twins: Mm-hm!
Emily Cratchit: ...and stingy...
The twins: Mm-hm!
Emily Cratchit: ...and wicked...
The twins: Mm-hm!
Emily Cratchit: ...and unfeeling...
The twins: Mm-hm!
Emily Cratchit: ...and badly dressed...
(the twins gasp in horror)
The Naked Gun:
- "Burglary, arson... and sexual assault with a concrete dildo?!" (In the Italian dub, it's: "Burglary, arson... and sexual harassment to a concrete statue?!") Normally this wouldn't be a jaywalking type example, but the previous scene made it obvious that Drebin had no intention of committing rape and was merely mistaken for pervert by a complicated series of hijinks.
- In The Naked Gun 2 1/2, a depressed Frank hangs out at a bar after seeing Jane again. The walls have pictures of history's greatest disasters such as the San Francisco earthquake, the Hindenburg crash, the Titanic sinking and Mike Dukakis (who had lost the presidential election a year prior).
- Also from 2 1/2, the villain Quentin Hapsburg reveals his evil plan to Drebin by having him introduced to Dr. Meinheimer, Earl Hacker (the imposter who is impersonating Meinheimer) and the Redman family (Quentin's friends from out of town).
In Napoleon Dynamite, Napoleon angrily orders Uncle Rico to get out of their house because, "You've been ruining all our lives and eating all our steak!"
In National Treasure, the film's antagonist is arrested on the charges of "kidnapping, attempted murder, and trespassing on government property."
The New Guy has Principal Undine confront the protagonist with the consequences of his showboating at the football field:
Principal Undine: It's a bill for manure clean-up, resodding the football field, and to top it all off somebody urinated all over Mrs Campanella's rose garden!
A running gag in A Night at the Opera, during the stateroom scene:
Otis: Now, some roast beef, I'll have rare, medium, well done and overdone...
Fiorello: And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis: And two hard-boiled eggs. (Tomasso honks his horn) Make that three hard-boiled eggs. And I'll have eight pieces of French pastry.
Fiorello: And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis: And two hard-boiled eggs. (Tomasso honks his horn) Make that three hard-boiled eggs. (honk) And one duck egg.
The Odd Angry Shot: When Bung tells the boys he is joining Patrol 22, Rogers responds with:
Welcome to Patrol Two-Two. Specialists in arson, murder and drinking.
Dr. Pax from the Danish film Operation Lovebirds only has three interests in life: money, power and pigeons.
From Orgy Of The Dead:
Shirley: "There're so many wonderful things to write about."
Bob: Sure there are—and I've tried them all. Plays, love stories, westerns, dog stories.
- Possibly not deliberate of this trope since the film was written by Ed Wood.
Pirates of the Caribbean:
- At the end of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the bailiff is reading out the (long) list of charges that Jack Sparrow has been found guilty of, including "impersonating a cleric of the Church of England", which prompts a fond little smile of remembrance from Jack.
- In Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Jack has a suggestion of what to do with Barbossa that starts as Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs and then becomes Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking. "Shoot him AND cut out his tongue! Then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard."
- In Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Barbossa lists out his charges against Blackbeard
"Such crimes do include but are not limited to piracy, treason, murder, torture of the most heinous sort, including the brutal theft of one used, twisted, hairy right-leg."
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Neal's hissy fit in Wichita enumerates several things Del has done to tick him off: dousing half the only bed in their hotel room in beer, smoking, creating a mess in the bathroom, not paying for his share of the stay ... and talking nonstop on the plane from New York.
In Pootie Tang, the title character's dying father, mauled to near death by a gorilla, tells his son about the horrors of the world: Drugs, crime, and gorillas.
In the opening scene of Raw Deal (1986), Arnold Schwarzenegger is seen chasing an apparent motorcycle cop, who turns out to be a crook dressed up as one so he can shake down speeders. The man claims to be on his way to a fancy dress party and merely stopping the motorist to ask for directions. Arnie charges him with extortion, resisting arrest, reckless driving, impersonating a police officer, and lying to the sheriff.
The Reefer Madness movie musical has this trope at the start of the song "Mary Jane/Mary Lane".
There's blood on my hands
And mud on my name
My Id threw a party and everyone came
My innocence ravaged
My virtue devoured
I can't count the strangers with whom I have showered!
The head of the R.I.P.D. states that the dead remaining on Earth are the cause of "global warming, the Black Plague, and bad cellphone reception."
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: Back then, it certainly counted as this trope, as Christmas as we now view it didn't come to England until Victorian times. If the story took place in modern times, though, then it would be justified.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!
The opening scene of Romancing the Stone comes from the romance novel that Kathleen Turner's character is writing:
That was the end of Grogan... the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!
Alfred Hitchcock's Rope:
Janet: Well, now, you don't really approve of murder, Rupert? If I may?
Rupert: You may... and I do. Think of the problems it would solve: unemployment, poverty, standing in line for theatre tickets...
In R. P. M. (1970), Coach McCurdy (Norman Burton) tells Perez, "They have no values, these kids. No ethics, no morals, and no decency. And no school spirit."
Runaway Bride: Ike holds Maggie responsible for his life going downhill. He lost his job, his reputation was ruined, and her friends messed up his hair!
Saw IV was rated R for "sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture throughout, and for language."
Scary Movie 3: The Architect is discussing with Cindy the evil of his daughter Tabitha. "We loved our daughter but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick shit."
The rules of a horror movie, as laid down in Scream:
1. You can never have sex;
2. You can never drink or do drugs; and
3. Never, ever, under any circumstance, say "I'll be right back", because you won't be.
Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird has it when the Sleaze Brothers are pulled over while trying to escape after kidnapping Big Bird (who they realized had escaped thanks to Big Bird jumping off the truck onto Gordon and Olivia's car... just watch the movie):
Sam Sleaze: What seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
State Trooper: (looks through his notebook) What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid? (the latter occurred earlier in the movie)
Sam Sleaze: Oh, about that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid Sleaze: Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper: You can tell that to the judge.
From Seven Seconds, an officer who's just been kidnapped:
"All right, you're in a heap of trouble now: armed robbery, kidnapping of an army officer, and speeding!"
In The Seven Year Itch, Richard Sherman, the main character, berates himself for his behavior with Marilyn Monroe's character
"You're running amok: Smoking, drinking, picking up girls... playing Chopsticks."
This gem from Slither:
Jack: Where is the Mr. Pibb...? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb, it's the only coke I like! ... Goddamn Brenda explodin' like a water balloon, worms drivin' my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people spittin' acid at me, turnin' you into cottage cheese, and now there's NO! FUCKIN'! GOD!! DAMN!! MR!!! PIBB!!!!
One of the taglines for the movie Sneakers was;
"A burglar, a spy, a fugitive, a delinquent, a hacker, and a piano teacher... and these are the good guys."
In Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), Rachel confronts Tom upon hearing he's wanted by the government, threatening to call the FBI, the CIA and his mother.
In the Spice Girls' movie Spice World, the group is about to be late for their first major live show. Their driver is nowhere to be found, so Posh Spice frantically drives their tour bus across London and jumps across Tower Bridge as it is rising to let a boat through. When they arrive at the venue, they are confronted by a policeman who wants to arrest them for "dangerous driving, criminal damage, flying a bus without a license ... and frightening the pigeons!"
Stranger Than Fiction has one with just two items after Prof Hilbert tells Harold that he should accept that he will die soon and he should do what he wants in the meantime, like eat nothing but pancakes:
Harold: I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Professor Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.
Inverted in Super: "You don't butt in line! You don't sell drugs! You don't molest little children! You don't profit off the misery of others! The rules were set a long time ago! They don't change!"
Take the Money and Run uses this trope twice in the same way. At the beginning, the narrator says that Virgil is wanted for robbery, attempted murder, and illegal possession of a wart. Later, as Virgil assembles a gang to rob a bank, the narrator reveals what each of them has served time for. One was "bank robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, murder, and getting naked in front of his in-laws," another was just "dancing with a mailman," and the third was "arson, robbery, assault with intent to kill, and marrying a horse."
Tank Girl.
Tank Girl: The Rippers are a demonic army of bloodthirsty, human-eating, purse-snatchin', mutant creatures.
In a Deleted Scene of Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, Jack Black and Kyle Gass are checking out at an army/navy supply store with a grocery cart full of items that make it increasingly apparent that they intend to do some Hollywood-style breaking and entering, including walkie-talkies, grappling hooks, smoke bombs, a pair of Spy Catsuits, poison darts... and a bag of Funyuns. The Funyuns are actually the second-to-last item though.
At the beginning of This is Spın̈al Tap, Marty DiBergi, describing the eponymous band, says: "I remember being knocked out by their, their exuberance, their raw power... and their punctuality."
In one scene in Times Square, the protagonists perform an angry punk song on the air in which Pamela calls her father out and accuses him of calling her some very offensive names before projecting that very image onto him via the airwaves:
Spic! Nigger! Faggot! Bum!
Your daughter is one!
Thor: Ragnarok: In the Asgardian play that Loki commissioned (and, judging from his knowledge of the script, wrote) himself, the in-universe actor who portrays him apologizes for his attempt to subjugate Earth, for stealing the Tesseract to open a portal and bring in the army of alien invaders.. and for turning his brother Thor into a frog.
In Top Gun: Maverick, the plaque on the Hard Deck Bar reads: "Disrespect a lady, the Navy, or put your cell phone on my bar, you buy a round." Extra hilarious in this case, as Maverick kinda broke all three in rapid succession when he flirted with his old flame Penny in the bar (who turns out owns the said bar;) when he revealed that he pissed off another Admiral, which resulted in him getting re-assigned to TOPGUN as an instructor; AND when placed his phone on top of the bar while Penny was present.
Trading Places:
- Winthorpe's descent into criminality is summarized as: "pilfering in our club, embezzling funds, selling drugs, and now he's dressing up like Santa Claus."
- Also, when Valentine gets Winthorp's job, exiles him from his house, and basically takes over his life, Winthorpe seems most upset by Valentine wearing Winthorpe's Harvard tie.
Undercover Brother: Smart Brother's description of his interrogation of White She-Devil. He starts by analyzing her brainwaves, then unlocks her subconscious with hypnosis, gently brushes her hair, and finally finds the information on a list in her pockets.
Too Fat Too Furious (Vet Hard): Has a literal case: Koen is in prison for murder, (necrophiliac) rape, and unpaid parking tickets. Becomes a Brick Joke when other characters later see his face broadcast on the T.V. news:
Martin: ...Jesus. I thought the dude was in prison for unpaid parking tickets.
Bennie: Yeah, right, that as well.
In Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Dewey's bandmates of 20 years finally had enough of his ego trip and told him about all the things they hate about him. Sam just keeps repeating the same line no matter what they are talking about.
Dave: Fuck nobility! Fuck ancient Egypt!
Theo: Fuck cats!
Sam: And you never paid for drugs. Not once.
Dave: You slept with my wife!
Theo: You slept with me, too, and I've had confused feelings about that for ten years now!
Sam: And you never once paid for drugs! Not once.
The Watchmen movie has the line "Toys, lunchboxes, genetic engineering."
Nick's crimes in "What We Do in the Shadows" include exposing vampires' existence to humans, getting a fellow vampire killed as a result...and stealing Deacon's fashion sense. Played with in that the last thing is mentioned before the second, and the vampires acknowledge that they probably should have built up from tamest crime to most heinous.
From What's Up, Tiger Lily?:
"Gangsters have stolen my secret recipe for egg salad. And not only that, they kill, they maim, and they call Information for numbers they could easily look up in the phone book."
This shows up in Who's the Woman, Who's the Man in the form of a tirade directed by Fish against a woman whom O, the lesbian he has a crush on, is flirting with:
Fish: If you go with a lesbian, you'll break your parents' hearts, and your grandparents'; your friends will look down on you, relatives will avoid you, society will give up on you, you can't have children... and you won't be able to find a seat on the subway!
In Yellowbeard, the eponymous pirate has committed a long list of heinous crimes, but he was finally convicted for tax evasion. This is almost certainly a reference to Al Capone.
After giving Derek a long list of what he's supposed to do as an assassin in Zoolander, Mugatu adds: "Obey my dog!"
Zorro, the Gay Blade features the hero reading his late father's request to take up his mission, with "this sword, with which to fight injustice; this mask, with which to deceive tyranny; and this hat, which needs reblocking".

Arson Murder And Jaywalking / Live-Action Films

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