The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T is a sadly-overlooked 1953 fantasy movie, especially notable in that it was the only time that Dr. Seuss ventured into the live-action film medium. In it, young Bartholomew Collins (Tommy Rettig) finds himself and his hypnotized mother (Mary Healy) trapped in the piano-playing Institute of the maniacal Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried), a villain who doesn't just chew Seuss's marvelous scenery, but engages in an epic multicourse banquet. Bartholomew's only hope is convincing plumber August Zabladowski (Peter Lind Hayes) to help him, instead of installing the Institute's sinks.The film was a miserable Box Office Bomb and critical bust at the time of it's release (people even left the theater 15 minutes into the movie during it's Hollywood premiere), and prompted Dr. Seuss to not produce another feature film again, but it has since become a Cult Classic, and has inspired many filmmakers today, such as Tim Burton.There's Siamese-beard rollerskaters, a visit to the most toe-tappingly tuneful dungeon ever, and a VERY atomic noise-sucker/bomb. Go track down a copy and watch it! Do it now! (or just go here!)
This film contains these INEXPLICABLE PHENOMENA:
Affably Evil: Dr. Terwilliker IS THIS up and down and back and forth the line, he even outright states he's a villain before offering refreshments AND has a Villain Song with Ms. Collins and Mr. Zabladowski!
All Just a Dream: The reasoning behind the high weirdness and the behavior of the adults - it's all based on a child's dream logic.
Or Was It a Dream?: Bart and Mr. Zabladowski, after Bart wakes up, still have their thumbs bandaged from their blood sharing. Mr. Zabladowski, not "remembering" the dream, doesn't know how it got there.
Classic Villain: Classic children's villain, even. The grumpy inflicter of the boy's hated piano lesson becomes an egotistical, grandiose, vain and autocratic dictator who speaks with Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and demands that everyone is subservient to he, Dr. TerWILLIKER! Why? Because piano playing is Serious Business and he knows far more than a mere child!
Cut Song: There was a whole bunch of other music written for the film by Dr. Seuss that didn't make the final cut, and only survives on old production bootlegs.
Oh We Are The Guards: We are Two Terrible Twins With a Terrible Siamese Beard. Don't get fresh with us now, Or you will get choked by the beard of the twins with the Siamese beard, with a terrible twin on each end.
Disappeared Dad: Played oh so very straight to the point where the entire film is a Freudian dream metaphor for Bart's longing for a father who can take him to baseball games instead of having to hang around the house with mom and do piano lessons. Yes indeed, very '50s.
Foreshadowing: After the dream sequence at the beginning of the film, Bart describes it to Dr. Terwilliker. Terwilliker scoffs and replies, "Why couldn't you dream about practicing the piano?" Sure enough, the next time Bart falls asleep....
Gilded Cage: "Tonight... you will sleep in your lock-me-tight!"
Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Inverted in that it's just piano lessons, but to a red-blooded 1950s boy like Bart the very idea is A Fate Worse Than Death. And when he learns that his teacher has built an enormous "500 boy piano" with plans for more little boys to have to bang away, oh the horror, the horror...
The Dungeon of screechy violins musical interlude. (See Big Lipped Alligator Moment.)
The Camp Villain song, "Dress Me", aka "Do-Mi-Do Duds". "Come on and dress me, dress me, dress me in my finest array..."
"Just Because We're Kids" sounds like an anthem of the 60's Baby Boom generation.
Nothing Is Scarier: After the horrific description of what goes on in the first dungeon, and the more horrific description of the second dungeon, the basement dungeon (which they get off on) is not described. Leaving it to the imagination as to how bad that must be.
It was originally described in High Octane Nightmare Fuel glory (See Second Verse Curse on the YMMV page.)
Parental Bonus: The song Get-Together Weather, which is a Love Triangle Song. Hmmmm... "Come on, the weatherman's reporting that the weather's ripe for sporting, and for love and assorted courting, this is get-together weather, together is just what we've got to get! What fabulous weather for cooing and billing! What fabulous weather for dally-down dilling! What fabulous weather for bipping and beeping! For schnipping and schnupping and schnooping and schneeping! Come on, the weatherman's announcing that the weather's ripe for flouncing, and for b-b-b-b-b-b-bouncing..."
Suspiciously Similar Substitute: "Bartholomew Collins" sounds a lot like "Bartholomew Cubbins", the hero of an earlier book by Dr Seuss. They are both boys of about the same age, hats and the number 500 features in both stories. Dr Seuss did say his original idea was warped beyond recognition...