Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, you're a pufferfish and you're going to augh after eating the carrots and get sent to the chopping board.

I wish pufferfish can speak in human language.

Granted, they all call you slurs.

I wish for an end to page-topping.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted, all the posts on this thread are on one page and they crash your browser.

I wish I had more motivation to write.

"Anemone dear, I know you want to be more independent from me, but... please take care, okay?"

Granted, but you wind up writing a sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey and get sued by E.L. James for "ruining [her] creation".

I wish I knew why Garfield hated Mondays.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, but the answer is so cursed you go insane.

I wish I could care more about life.

accidental double post. Ignore.

Edited by FriedBaka on Feb 16th 2020 at 5:41:41 AM

Granted. You cared too much and learned "the truth about life" and then you Freak Out

I wish I learned "the truth about life"!

Edited by Seaners on Feb 19th 2020 at 3:02:52 AM

PIZZA HUT FAMILY... TRANSCENDS SPIRITUAL REALITY

Granted, you learn the Truth About Life[tm] and are killed by The Man because you know too much...

I wish I could go back in time to The '90s and watch all my favorite TV shows and go to all the conventions they had back then....

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48

Granted. It starts out fine at first but you are eventually abducted by a Loony Fan at one of the conventions, forcing you to engage in all sorts of crazy stuff.

I wish TNP became an embodiment of pure evil.

The League of Heroes

Granted, my definition of pure evil is...... being a Big Eater.

I wish RPG Maker was a freeware.

Granted, except it's pirated and has way too many viruses, and the only antivirus that works is Norton, which is a virus in and of itself.

I wish I was loved.

Granted, people are now yanderes to you.

I wish for a rum.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. It's not the drink; it's the Cats movie version of Rum Tum Tugger.

I wish for my previous wishes on this thread to be granted without being corrupted, including this one.

Granted, but they're granted for your high-school bully and not for you.

I wish thinking outside the box was more of the norm than it currently is.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.

Granted, but you go to robot pirate island.

I wish i was in Mario Party 8

Granted. You have a single background cameo being eaten by a piranha plant in one minigame.

I wish I had lockpicking skills.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. Everyone's doors and treasure chests are unlocked by default, meaning you spent all that time Stat Grinding for nothing.

I wish I had Eternally Pearly-White Teeth.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, but at the cost of a bunch of cavities.

I wish I was a main character in a dating sim.

Granted. Each and every one of your love interests is a Yandere.

I wish to be the smartest man in the world.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. You're the smartest man in the world because there is no other man in the world. There is only you and every other woman in the world. And the wives aren't happy that you wished for it.

---

I wish to be my avatar.

If Sirin was the main protagonist... Kinda, anyway.

You become every avatar in your avatar gallery at once. You are an Eldritch Abomination.

---

I wish my taste buds would temporarily disappear whenever I ate something disgusting.

Edited by jaketroper on Feb 21st 2020 at 1:21:53 PM

Granted, but they don't reappear when you eat stuff you like.

I wish there were many guys like me all over the world.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted. Every part of the earth's surface is covered with guys like you. Those who don't die from being stuck in the middle of oceans or inhospitable lands quickly use up all available resources, rendering the planet uninhabitable.

I wish to be a millionaire.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted, you have 1 million Zimbabwe dollars.

I wish religion did not exist.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted! Everyone is now misguided and faithless. The world ends.

---

I wish everyone liked me.

Edited by jaketroper on Feb 21st 2020 at 8:01:02 AM