Your Old Shames.

Is there any thing that you did when you were younger, that embarrasses you now? Like Mary Sue fanfics, weird phases, or other dumb crap.

Everything I posted online before 2015 is the mad ramblings of a random kid who thinks he knows everything. No exceptions

I have no old shame NONE

Don't you dare go looking

I recently took part in two bizarro fiction workshops that were held by Mr. Garrett Cook. Now I feel embarrassed about having written a short story about animals in holding a discussion about the so-called "sexual orientation", and a short story that mentions the Brazilian Surra de Bunda at the end.

edited 21st Feb '16 5:19:53 PM by RicaCriscia

My fanfic mind, while still very fanfic today, is quite ashamed with the stories it came up with. Whole Plot References to The Phantom Tollbooth and Alice in Wonderland, starring Toad and some girl who kept Kirby on a metaphorical leash in a non-canon adaptation of his series? A LAKITU as the Bad Guy!? There was Narm all OVER the goddamn place! There was Narm in the fact that the events of TPT were Retconned to be All Just a Dream, there was Narm in the Hilarious Outtakes, there was Narm in the fact that the NORMAL bossfight music in The Legendary Starfy was played AFTER the FINAL bossfight music in Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, there was Narm in the Mountains of Ignorance scene, there was even Narm in the WTF choicing! I mean, bad singing? A usage of Time is a Gift from the Chuck Jones Adaptation? Kibidango as Tock? A FEMALE Leavanny as the MALE Humbug!? The Mario Bros as the kings of Dictionopolis and Digitopolis? A Purrloin as the Cheshire Cat? Lenora? No Dinah? The guys? A white Buneary as the White Rabbit AND the March Hare? WTF BRAIN!?

Pretty much all the stories I wrote as a kid were either horribly bad self-insert wish fulfillment fantasies, painfully obvious ripoffs of better stories, or both.

And I guess that some of the porn might count as well. (Edit: That happened much later.)

edited 23rd Feb '16 3:22:12 AM by Corvidae

I was minutes younger when I did what I described here so I'm counting it. My actual lists of old shames would take three rainforests to print.

edited 23rd Feb '16 6:38:18 PM by PhysicalStamina

When I was younger, I used to write... not so much fanfics so much as plays that would recreate what little I knew of a thing I liked, then deviated from there to whatever else I was thinking of. They were poorly written, nonsensical, told instead of showing, and had little to no regard for characterization, plot, pacing or reason.

For all that and a bit more, they have never seen the light of the internet. And likely never will because the hard drive of the laptop they were on has long since died.

When I was young, I wrote some truly terrible stories, I read one a couple of days ago, after having found it while cleaning up the home, and I physically cringed. It was a Halo fan story (I dispise the term "fan fiction") and boy was it a bad read. It lack a lot of the refinements I have done in more recent stories, Halo or otherwise. It had no world building, the characters were flat and one note, dialogue was choppy and stiff and it was gory for the sake of being gory.

I used to be very bad at drawing distinctions between "cool fanfic to write" and "silly daydream that should not be written down". There were also some half-assed filk songs and delusions of poethood. A lot of text files from my old laptop are not allowed to be backed up anywhere because they will be deleted from said backups immediately.

Listing everything else that counts would take too long, so I'm going to stop here.

While we're talking about fanfics, many years ago I wrote some terrible fan-scripts, chock-full of unoriginal plots, boring characters, boring plots and unoriginal characters; I'm fairly certain the main heroine of one was a Mary Sue by most definitions, which is odd, since I'm a bloke. Plus, the scenes were too short, they had zero indication of cinematography, and the scripts as a whole generally didn't conform to industry-standard formatting. At least I never wrote any Self-Insert stories, I suppose.

I remember a couple years ago, some family members told me they'd found them and teased me by saying they'd print and distribute them. Words cannot express how terrified I was.

I used to be quite anti-feminist and shit back a couple years ago. God damn did I know nothing. Thankfully I didn't type a single letter relating to that issue and others like it but fuck I'm so embarrassed about it.

I used to have a lot of views I don't particularly agree with today, especially regarding social issues, and thinking back to some of the things I said makes me cringe. I'm not that upset about it since I don't think I could have known any better, but geez did I used to be ignorant.

Also, a VERY BAD misinterpetation of Dreamland Lake. The Kirby series takes place in Dream Land. Dreamland Lake is realistic fiction.

Splarf.

Also, Pokeraps. Please don't flame me.

My old fanfics. One had a chapter with maybe 100 words in it. Bland characters. No point. So much cringe.

I used to be a conspiracy theorist, believing things like Bermuda Triangle (it being a mystical place, that is), Illuminati/Freemason ruling the world, and whatever 9/11 Truthers believe.

The entire Zig & Sharko WMG page.

I'm missing half a tooth due to the time I ran into my daycare's door.

I once had an action webcomic featuring robots whose crappiness could give Sonichu a run for its money.

I still shudder to think what would happen had a /b/tard came across it.

My life could essentially be divided in 2.

Original stories:

I went through a bit of a Dork Age when I was about ten or eleven where my original stories became extremely unoriginal (some stories were just existing episodes of TV shows I liked with my original characters shoe-horned in), I gave my original characters a very ugly redesign, and it culminated with a very embarrassing, nonsensical, and incoherent story which on top of all the other issues was a Self-Insert and featured some of my real life friends for no real reason. I've gotten a lot better since then, and I cringe whenever I look at these older stories of mine.

Fanon:

My first true fanfic was an attempt to fix one of my Dork Age stories and failed miserably. I tried putting my original characters in the fic (didn't work, they wound up having about as much personality as my cat's toenail compared to the other characters), it was still a Self-Insert (though my presence was heavily down-played), some characters were just there for the sake of being there (such as an OOC Dib in the already large main party), the main villain was just a Generic Doomsday Villain, and the plot was resolved via a Deus ex Machina (Phineas' shoe slips off and shorts out the Big Bad's Doomsday Device). How this is still my most popular fanfic on Fanfiction.net, I'll never know.

I have one completed screenplay. It’s a really horrible John Waters knockoff about gay bikers who abduct hippies for nefarious purposes. It will never see the light of day.

I used to like creepypastas. Or at the very least the bad ones. One of my earliest usernames on the internet was "Tails Doll". I also participated in some weird RP Sonic thing.

Nowadays if I see creepypastas I can't help but cringe. Especially at stuff like Jeff the Killer considering how badly written it was. Not counting that the picture that story was based on was a Photoshop of an actual young girl. She committed suicide when it became a meme.

I had a l*st epis*de phase. My interest started with Squidward's Suicide, which I found out about on this site. I was interested in how much it read like a nightmare that I would have had when I was six. I must have written one about Care Bears at some point.

Before that, there was my obsession with Garfield and trying to make my own Garfield comics. Around the same time, I was writing comics about an obscure video game character named Dizzy. All are in the trash now.

edited 10th Apr '16 11:17:28 AM by Snicklin