Foil the above poster's eeeevil plan.

I hire a bunch of Samurai to stop the Ninjas.

I shall invade Japan with the Mongols!

Well, better than dying in a tornado.

edited 2nd Jun '18 7:36:49 PM by Jaxfirebus

But before you can do that, we shall get some giant robots, which Japan has multitudes of, and get them to push Japan further out to sea, thus widening the gap for the mongols, and saving Japan!

I have turned myself into a queen ant! Now, all I need is to turn on my Formic Machine, and it shall turn all of the world into mere worker ants, so they must follow me! And I shall rule the world!

edited 1st Jun '18 11:12:21 AM by TacoBadger

A queen ant is not heavy enough to push the Big Red Button. I laugh and pluck you off with a pair of tweezers, then stomp on you a few times for good measure.

I shall go around putting welcome mats in front of everyone's front doors. Why? So the vampires can get in!

edited 1st Jun '18 1:13:22 PM by Miss_Desperado

Oopsie, someone "accidentally" put garlic in all the mats.

I shall destroy the human race by time travelling and cockblocking our common ancestors.

I hardly need to do anything. If you succeed, then you cease to exist, and the ancestors are never murdered. Therefore, if I do travel back in time, I am guaranteed to succeed in at least stopping your success.

Turn the members of the United Nations into bees! Then, spend one week as the queen bee, training the politician bees into serving me. Once the week is over, turn the bees back, and let them back into power. Then, when they are re-seated, I will enforce my power over them, and they will become my puppets, thus forcing all the world to fall to my command!

GOD DAMN IT!

edited 2nd Jun '18 9:14:12 PM by TacoBadger

What are you planning to do with a year's supply of honey?

You absolute fucking idiot, He'll kill you!

I'm not even alive, I'm just a ghost. Can he kill a ghost? Besides, my ghost entity is tied to God. If he tries to kill me, there's a price for it.

Now, then.... I'll release the long-suppresed evil side of Princess Celestia, Daybreaker! With her power under me, I'll sit back as the world burns! Hahahahaha!!!

edited 2nd Jun '18 8:38:17 PM by dave_the_assassin

"Hey, Discord, I bet you can't trick Celestia into eating Poison Joke!" Now, once the Poison Joke is in Celestia's system, the prank it plays on her will leave her too incapacitated to do anything.

I shall read aloud from the Tome of Eldritch Lore! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

edited 2nd Jun '18 8:58:42 PM by Miss_Desperado

Easy! I will disguise myself as a dialect coach, offer you free lessons on how to pronounce the eldritch words, and when you pronounce them incorrectly, I can laugh, seeing you flounder and fail!

I used this plan before, but the responder mistook this thread for another, so I'm using it again!

Turn the members of the United Nations into bees! Then, spend one week as the queen bee, training the politician bees into serving me. Once the week is over, turn the bees back, and let them back into power. Then, when they are re-seated, I will enforce my power over them, and they will become my puppets, thus forcing all the world to fall to my command!

I send a squad of bears wearing customized beekeeper protection to your hive during that week. The transmogrified politicians? Collateral. Replaceable. I just want you dead.

I shall infest an army of crickets with Horsehair Worms. Then I shall release the crickets at Starbucks branches all over the world and watch them drown themselves in everybody's drinks, via hidden cameras I set up ahead of time! The world will descend into panic and chaos! Muahahahaha!

edited 2nd Jun '18 9:56:54 PM by Miss_Desperado

I send an email to the CEO of Starbucks with a screencap of your "plain", This gets you get banned from every Starbucks.

Now I'm going to make perfect counterfeits dollar bills and use them to go shopping.

I give you a hug and a Kiss of Distraction and pickpocket your counterfeit bills. Then I take them to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing. While they're analyzing your ever-so-clever imitations, I find you again and give you a Kiss of the Vampire. While you're still stunned from blood loss, I haul you, with your second round of counterfeit dollar bills in your pockets, to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing.

A runabout! I'll steal it! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!

I make sure EVERYONE knows, You're almost immediately arrested.

I shall extinguish the sun using fifty thousand gallons of sunscreen!

I put a Banana in the Tailpipe of each your sunscreen rockets. They are grounded.

I shall put a Banana in the Tailpipe of every car in the world!

I make a new line of banana fueled cars. Soon all cars run on tropical fruit, bananas in the tailpipe. This industry becomes widely successful.

I will make a 3am challenge!

I stop all the world's clocks at 2:55 AM.

I'm going to create the Muppets and convince everyone that Jim Henson ripped me off.

Bump

Edited by TropesForever on Jun 26th 2018 at 9:37:56 PM

its been years since Jim created Muppets, I point this fact out disproving you instantly.

I'm going to become a Vigilante Man killing criminals left and right!

That might have worked way back when, but nowadays pretty much everyone's got a smartphone on their person and could potentially record your activities. Failing that, the authorities would definitely notice. And killing the witnesses would arouse even more suspicion. In other words, I win by doing absolutely nothing while Reality Ensues.

I plan to turn random people into things and watch their reactions from a safe hiding place, then change them back immediately afterwards. No one will believe them! And for good measure, I won't do all of this in the same place, or in close succession, or with any particular pattern. Ha.

I show those people how to transform others too, and have them all use this power on you so you go through a forced Shapeshifter Swan Song.

I'm going to announce a new project and build of tons of hype for it... then suddenly leave the project and put someone else in charge so the pressure is all on them!

I’ll just tell the world that the project switched directors suddenly, so they know exactly what happened.

I’ll divide the Sun into a bunch of smaller suns, then throw them all at various corners of the universe!

I just pull in another yellow sun from a galaxy without sentient life, and then promptly throw you into it.

I'm going to turn this NGO Superpower into a drug cartel, then make clones of the world's greatest fighters, and with those and other genetic modifications, we will take over the world!

I clone the world's greates fighters before you can and send an army of clones with Charles Atlas Superpower to stop you.

I make sure that [your name here]'s favorite TV show is canceled and is never ever renewed!

I change my favorite shows to Teen Titans Go, Spongebob Squarepants, and The Simpsons temporarily. They won't cancel those for anything!

Me, my bandmates, and some old priest dude are gonna go revive this elder god that enforces Gaia's will. It's a bit fanatical though, so it's gonna cause a species-wide apocalypse on us mere humans! Muahahaha!

I simply convince your other teammates that it will kill you too, and they’ll stop. If that fails, heed the SCP Foundation’s motto - when in doubt, launch it into the sun.

I’ll prove Kraid is Ridley, causing logic itself to collapse and a ZK-Class Reality Failure scenario.