DCI John Barnaby: A recreation of a dead bride in the bath and a trunk murder. Why?
David Orchard: I-I teach modern history from 1792 to the Age of Enlightenment up until the 1950s.
Barnaby: And?
Orchard: Er, well...Sensational murder stories of the past have always appealed to me. I love the newspaper headlines of the day. They were so graphic, so detailed. And those marvelous crowds outside the prison gates on execution days.
David Orchard: I-I teach modern history from 1792 to the Age of Enlightenment up until the 1950s.
Barnaby: And?
Orchard: Er, well...Sensational murder stories of the past have always appealed to me. I love the newspaper headlines of the day. They were so graphic, so detailed. And those marvelous crowds outside the prison gates on execution days.
Since 1997, in the idyllic county district of Midsomer, DCI Tom Barnaby, his younger cousin DCI John Barnaby, and the officers of the Causton Police Force have faced an incredible number and variety of murderers. A select few, through sheer brutality or viciousness, manage to stand out.
All spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!
Seasons 7-13
- "The Straw Woman": Agnes Waterhouse is a sociopath obsessed with the "perfect death" with a liking for burning her victims alive. To eliminate potential obstacles, Agnes traps the local consulate in a straw woman to have him burned alive, then murders the consulate's gay lover; attempts to take the life of a doctor by setting his clothes alight with phosphorous; and murders the innocent schoolteacher Liz Francis by bludgeoning her with a candlestick and setting her alight. Agnes tosses the blame on her rival and nearly commits Murder-Suicide with her ward Alan Clifford. When asked why she murdered Liz by a grieving Dan Scott, Agnes's only response is a cheerful smile and a remorseless affirmation of "I had to".
- "Talking to the Dead": Stanley Goodfellow is a callous, selfish man who, knowing his employer's secrets, spent years enriching himself by stealing from him, knowing he wouldn't risk being exposed. Upon a theft being interrupted by another burglar, Goodfellow fatally stabbed the burglar. Learning his accomplice Colin Thomas and Colin's wife Molly wanted to go to the police, Goodfellow kidnapped them along with his own wife Nesta. Shooting Colin for attempting to overpower him, Goodfellow murdered Molly for trying to escape; and imprisoned Nesta in an unused well for several days, leaving her to slowly die of dehydration. Following a confrontation with his wife's lover, Goodfellow murdered him with an Iron Maiden specially designed so the spikes would slowly extend out gradually impaling the victim, mockingly dismissing it as "he wasn't quick enough" to escape him. Caught and confessing to everything, Goodfellow admitted to finding entire situation amusing, having no remorse and taking no responsibility for the deaths his selfish choices caused.
- "The Black Book": Patricia Blackshaw seeks to increase the value of her collection of paintings by the famed artist Hogson. After being outbid on a Hogson painting, Patricia tracks down the seller, an old woman in her 80s, and hideously tortures her by burning her on a stove before murdering her after prolonged torture. Tracking down a man involved in a forgery ring, Patricia ties him up and spends a long while working on him with a knife to get information, before dispatching him as well. Finally slashing the throat of an art dealer, Patricia confesses her intention was to make sure her own collection was worth more by eliminating forgeries, and showcases a penchant for Cold-Blooded Torture that surpasses nearly all other killers.
- "Master Class": Sir Michael Fielding is a seemingly genial, supportive figure who is actually a twisted eugenicist. Convinced that concentrating his genes would breed a superior child, Fielding repeatedly raped his daughter Molly, who drowned herself to escape. Eighteen years later, Fielding is obsessed with impregnating his daughter/granddaughter, eliminating anyone whom he perceives as an obstacle: almost crushing Tom Barnaby to death; hanging a young student for flirting with the granddaughter; slits a kindly priest's throat for attempting to protect her; and engineering a car crash in an attempt to kill her adopted parents. Caught, the remorseless Fielding boasts of his elitism, claiming the country is descending into idiots and degenerates, and "someone had to take a stand".
Season 14
- "Echoes of the Dead": David Orchard is a seemingly kindly individual who in truth is a depraved and sadistic monster hiding behind false piety. After being dumped, Orchard snaps and begins a killing spree, luring in his victims with his friendly façade and, after killing them, posing his victims in the style of famous murder cases. Orchard brutally murders those he deems to have "sinned towards God" and strangles a young woman who had been in a relationship outside of marriage; strangles and dismembers another who planned to marry her lesbian lover; and brutally beats to death an elderly couple with a sledgehammer, even sadistically stalking and trying to bludgeon to death his last victim before being stopped. Upon capture, Orchard attempts to play himself as a victim, but is called out by John Barnaby as just a madman with a god complex.
- "The Night of the Stag": Samuel Quested presents himself as merely a charming and jovial pub landlord and local alderman, but in reality is a vicious, power-hungry Small-Town Tyrant, having his goons intimidate anyone who goes against the accepted order. Viewing Esme Baker marrying visiting revenue agent Peter Slim as an affront to his power, Quested and his men hunt Slim with dogs before forcing the terrified man into an apple picker with Quested personally using it to viciously shake him by the neck, shattering it in several places. Devising a plan to solidify his control over the valley, Quested frames the Cider Mill owner that employs most of the valley for the murder, forcing him to sign the mill over him; and using the damage to community spirits to justify resurrecting the long dead rite of the Stag, even setting his own daughter Alice to be raped to seal the deal. Having his goons hack the kindly Reverent Walker to death for opposing him, Quested then used the Stag as a distraction to attempt to rape Esme for daring to marry out of the community. Thwarted by Inspector Barnaby and Sargent Jones, Quested attempts to rally the villagers into a mob and orders his goons to kill them.
- "A Sacred Trust": Matthew Hendred is a smug, boorish man who regularly mistreats his family and is secretly a former mercenary who in his youth fought in a Sub-Saharan war. In 1978, Hendred participated in the attack of an African village where 23 unarmed civilians were massacred. After the war, using the connections he'd developed, Hendred set up a "private security" company, making himself very rich. Blackmailed by a survivor of the massacre, now an elderly nun at Midsomer Priory who wanted him to donate a portion of his fortune to a charity for war victims as penance, Hendred opts to simply silence her. Breaking into the Priory he mistakenly strangles the wrong nun. Then, thinking he also knew the truth, Hendred strangles the local priest, and upon realizing his mistake tried again to kill the nun, willing to murder anybody to hide his Dark Secret.
Seasons 15-23
- "Schooled in Murder": Hayley Brantner, to assure she isn't seen as "weak" by the town, turns to murder to feel empowered. Hayley targets everyone whom she feels has put her down in the past, crushing an old schoolmate's skull with a wheel of cheese; garroting another man to death; stabbing her husband through the heart with a cheese needle; and leaving a woman and her innocent husband to be trampled to death by cows. After her final two attempted murders—those of her old headmistress and another old classmate—are foiled, Hayley's self-pitying Motive Rant is thrown right back in her face as a shallow excuse for her uniquely long line of victims.
