For the Children
Rebecca is preparing for Richmond's annual charity gala, which raises money for underprivileged children by auctioning off dates with the players. Meanwhile, Ted and Beard need to resolve the growing animosity between Jamie and Roy, which is causing the entire team to take sides. Ted asks Rebecca to put him, Jamie, and Roy at the same table at the gala. Higgins also informs Rebecca that the gala's musical guest, Robbie Williams, has canceled at the last minute.
At the gala, Ted tries to get Jamie and Roy to talk about their differences and find some mutual respect, but they both refuse. However, when Roy mocks Jamie for being a prima donna, Ted reminds Roy that he behaved similarly when he was Jamie's age and therefore knows where Jamie's coming from. Rebecca's ex-husband Rupert unexpectedly crashes the gala and quickly charms the crowd. Rebecca introduces Ted to Rupert. During the conversation, Rupert subtly insults Rebecca, who suggests that Rupert run the auction before excusing herself. Ted mentions to Rupert that Rebecca is stressed about Robbie Williams cancelling on her. Rupert tells him that Robbie is a friend of his and he could easily text him asking him to come perform. Ted goes to ask Rebecca about it and finds her crying outside in the alley. She confesses that Rupert was cruel and manipulative during their marriage, but she nevertheless is miserable being alone, too. She is also frustrated that despite Rupert's awful behavior, the press and the public at large remain on his side and demonize her. Ted offers to help her leave, but she insists on staying.
Inside, Rupert begins the auction with Jamie as the first player up for bid. Jamie begs Keeley to bid on him, which Keeley doesn't want to do since it will make her look pathetic. Nonetheless, Keeley reluctantly bids on him, only for another beautiful young woman, Bex, to start a bidding war which Keeley wins. Roy and Jamie discuss why they don't like each other and toast to their differences. While Rupert takes a break from the auction, Ted approaches him and suggests that Rupert is the person who told Robbie Williams to cancel in the first place, which Rupert does not deny. Ted tells Higgins that he has another idea for how to make up for the missing musical guest. Keeley runs into Rebecca in the bathroom, who warns her that Jamie invited Bex to the gala as another plus-one and asks if Jamie holds himself accountable for his own mistakes. Keeley confronts Jamie, who is unapologetic and says that he and Bex are not together. In retaliation, Keeley bids on Roy, the last player up for auction, but lets someone else win. Ted and Higgins arrive with Cam Cole, a busker who performs in Ted's neighborhood. Cam proves to be a talented musician, and everyone has a good time dancing together.
As the crowd files out, Rebecca says goodbye to all the guests, including Rupert, who leaves with Bex. Ted tells Rebecca that she's not the only person who can see Rupert for who he really is. Jamie finds Keeley at the bar and apologizes to her, but when she asks him if he knows what he's sorry for, he has no answer. Roy interrupts them and tells Keeley that she embarrassed him by bidding on him as part of a fight with Jamie, for which Keeley sincerely apologizes. Keeley tells Jamie that being accountable matters and breaks up with him. Ted informs Coach Beard that Michelle and Henry will be coming to visit next weekend while Keeley and Rebecca ride past in a rickshaw, drinking champagne and laughing.
Tropes featured in "For the Children" include:
- Abhorrent Admirer: At Rebecca's gala, Jamie attracts the attention of a wealthy and lusty older woman who informs him that she will be bidding for a night with him in the charity player auction. Jamie is put off by her assertive behavior so Roy and Keeley both tease him that, if she bids over £3,000, he will have to go all the way with her much to his chagrin.
- Alone with the Psycho: Downplayed, but Rebecca feels like the only one who can see Rupert for who he really is. He plays the room like a fiddle and leaves her alone in the crowd until Ted seeks her out and lets her know she's not alone.
- Continuity Nod: Isaac and Colin tell Nate about Roy sticking up for him and telling them to quit bullying him. Colin also mentions that he still has a slight concussion from Roy's headbutt.
- Engineered Heroics: Rupert attempts this at Rebecca's fundraising gala when Robbie Williams suddenly cancels his performance, which was scheduled to be the night's main entertainment. Rupert reveals to Ted that Robbie is a personal friend of his and offers to convince him to return in time to save the event. By this point, however, Ted has caught on to Rupert's true nature and sees right through this trick, and even discreetly calls him out on it:Hey Rupert, something just occurred to me. If you could've texted Robbie Williams asking him to come tonight... you could've probably just as easily asked him not to come.
- Friendship Moment: Keeley takes a moment to give Rebecca advice on how to work the red carpet. Later, Ted lets her know he's seen through Rupert's façade and recognizes him for the abusive manipulator he is.
- Hidden Depths: Higgins, later revealed to be a jazz musician, throws off his thoroughly British exterior and rocks out to blues musician Cam Cole.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Having parent trapped Jamie and Roy into a serious talk about their difficulties, he asks who wants a drink and everyone at the table raises their hands.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: Colin states that his doctor forbade him to drink alcohol since he was still dizzy from getting headbutted by Roy. Directly afterwards he takes a sip of beer.
- Impractically Fancy Outfit: A downplayed example. Jamie decides to make a fashion statement by going shirtless under his jacket, only to accidentally scald his nipple with soup at the dinner.Roy: Another reason why shirts exist.
- Malaproper: After Jamie ditches his shirt in order to spice up his gala outfit, he calls himself a "progeny" of high fashion.
- My Sister Is Off-Limits: "Loving a sports team is a lifetime obsession. Kind of like your best friend's older sister. But, hey, if you're ever in Kansas City and run across Ted Dineen, don't tell him I said that."
- Noodle Incident: Ted makes reference to wearing pajamas to the prom when he was 17 and ending up in jail. Rebecca cuts him off from telling the full story though.
- "Not So Different" Remark: After a talk with Ted, Roy realizes that Jamie's attitude is not so different from his own when he was Jamie's age, and they begin to work towards a more functional working relationship.
- One-Man Band: Ted engages the one-man-band player from the street as a replacement for Robbie Williams. That move turns out to be a success as everyone is instantly rushing in to rock the floor.
- Popcultural Osmosis Failure: Ted doesn't know enough of British Pop culture to know who Robbie Williams is.
- Rewatch Bonus: Isaac and Colin stop bullying Nate because Roy told them to, but they don't apologize or express any regret, which contrasts sharply with Rebecca's remarks on accountability in this episode. The lack of consideration and microaggressions Nate suffers contribute to his Face–Heel Turn in the second season.
- Ship Tease: Roy and Keeley have a connection when he confronts her about using him as a prop in her fight with Jamie. She apologizes, he accepts it, and they move on.
- Stealth Insult: Rupert compliments Rebecca on having the courage to wear that dress at her age. Ted spots it and asks for something stronger than a beer.
- Stepford Smiler: Rebecca can barely keep it together after being surprised by her abuser.
- Take That!: Keeley notes that she's still dating 23 year old footballers. "I'm Leonardo DiCaprio!"
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Jamie elects to go shirtless under his suit jacket after deciding that the dress shirt Keeley picked out for him was too stuffy. While he's happy to give the paparazzi some eye candy, he experiences some drawbacks at dinner when he spills some hot soup on his bare chest.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Roy confronts Keeley about bidding on him at the auction to get back at Jamie, telling her he doesn't appreciate being used as a pawn. To her credit, Keeley accepts this was immature and sincerely apologizes, which Roy accepts.
- You Are Not Alone: At the end of the night, Rebecca is down as Rupert now looks great to everyone and she comes off worse. Then Ted comes up to inform her that not only he but quite a few other people are fully aware of what a scumbag Rupert is, letting Rebecca know she's not as alone as she thought being against him.
