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Noh-Varr: I don't mean to get personal here, but did you two ever... socialize?
Una-Rogg: No. We only had sex.
Ronan the Accuser: Broadcast it, why don't you?
Una-Rogg: I would if there'd been anything worth broadcasting.
Kree Soldier 1: Oooo.
Kree Soldier 2: That one hurt.
Ronan the Accuser: The problem here is that some individuals do not know their proper place!
Una-Rogg: No, the problem here is that some individuals have to wave around giant tools to make up for size inadequacies elsewhere!
Kree Soldier 1: Whoa! Ouch!
Kree Soldier 2: Mortal wound there.
Rick Jones: TMI, man. Waaay Too Much Information.
Una-Rogg: No. We only had sex.
Ronan the Accuser: Broadcast it, why don't you?
Una-Rogg: I would if there'd been anything worth broadcasting.
Kree Soldier 1: Oooo.
Kree Soldier 2: That one hurt.
Ronan the Accuser: The problem here is that some individuals do not know their proper place!
Una-Rogg: No, the problem here is that some individuals have to wave around giant tools to make up for size inadequacies elsewhere!
Kree Soldier 1: Whoa! Ouch!
Kree Soldier 2: Mortal wound there.
Rick Jones: TMI, man. Waaay Too Much Information.
— Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics), Vol 4 #24
Live-Action TV
Jeff: [confidently] What am I not good at?
Britta: [deadpan] Sex.
Britta: [deadpan] Sex.
Mindy: Danny's not very adventurous. He really likes to do it missionary.
Danny: [indignated] Missionaries are extremely adventurous!
Danny: [indignated] Missionaries are extremely adventurous!
— The Mindy Project, "The One That Got Away"
Curtis: Can I ask you something? When we were together, was I...
Alisha: What?
Curtis: Was I... all right? You know, sex stuff?
Alisha: We couldn't actually touch each other, so...
Curtis: No, no, no. What we could do. Was I shit?
Alisha: [hesitantly] No.
Curtis: That's one of those nos that means yes! "No!" Fucking yes!
Alisha: What are you saying? I haven't said anything.
Curtis: Yeah, but you were thinking it. Say it. Go on, I want to hear it.
Alisha: No, you don't!
[she stares at Simon and he notices it]
Curtis: Wait... [pointing at Simon] Is he better than me? What, him? He's better than me?!
Alisha: Don't talk about him like that!
Curtis: Oh, man!
Alisha: When we're doing it, he's focused on me.
Curtis: What, and I wasn't?
Alisha: No, you just spent a lot of time watching yourself.
Curtis: That's bullshit!
Alisha: Oh, really? Look, you were like this. [makes a masturbatory motion for a few seconds then grunts]
Curtis: [unamused] You done?
Alisha: Look, this is the reason that girls don't tell boys this stuff. Their egos can't take it.
Alisha: What?
Curtis: Was I... all right? You know, sex stuff?
Alisha: We couldn't actually touch each other, so...
Curtis: No, no, no. What we could do. Was I shit?
Alisha: [hesitantly] No.
Curtis: That's one of those nos that means yes! "No!" Fucking yes!
Alisha: What are you saying? I haven't said anything.
Curtis: Yeah, but you were thinking it. Say it. Go on, I want to hear it.
Alisha: No, you don't!
[she stares at Simon and he notices it]
Curtis: Wait... [pointing at Simon] Is he better than me? What, him? He's better than me?!
Alisha: Don't talk about him like that!
Curtis: Oh, man!
Alisha: When we're doing it, he's focused on me.
Curtis: What, and I wasn't?
Alisha: No, you just spent a lot of time watching yourself.
Curtis: That's bullshit!
Alisha: Oh, really? Look, you were like this. [makes a masturbatory motion for a few seconds then grunts]
Curtis: [unamused] You done?
Alisha: Look, this is the reason that girls don't tell boys this stuff. Their egos can't take it.
— Misfits, Season 3 Episode 2
Seth: It was... just kind of weird.
Ryan: Ooh, weird.
Seth: Yeah, but not kinky-weird, more like weird-awkward. But hey, you know what? It was my first time, she's a more experienced woman, that's to be expected. And I did make some faces in the middle that I wish that I could take back, but I can't, and there's also sort of a whiny noise that came out towards that end. Probably wasn't my finest hour, and I sucked so bad. I was like a fish flopping around on dry land. Ryan, I was Nemo and I just wanted to go home.
Ryan: Well, don't worry about it. You'll get another chance.
Seth: Yeah, that's the thing though. I'm not sure that I will. The situation with Summer's murkier now than it was before the awful fish sex.
Ryan: I wouldn't refer to it as "fish sex" ever again.
Seth: That's a good point.
Ryan: Ooh, weird.
Seth: Yeah, but not kinky-weird, more like weird-awkward. But hey, you know what? It was my first time, she's a more experienced woman, that's to be expected. And I did make some faces in the middle that I wish that I could take back, but I can't, and there's also sort of a whiny noise that came out towards that end. Probably wasn't my finest hour, and I sucked so bad. I was like a fish flopping around on dry land. Ryan, I was Nemo and I just wanted to go home.
Ryan: Well, don't worry about it. You'll get another chance.
Seth: Yeah, that's the thing though. I'm not sure that I will. The situation with Summer's murkier now than it was before the awful fish sex.
Ryan: I wouldn't refer to it as "fish sex" ever again.
Seth: That's a good point.
— The O.C., Season 1
Liz: The worst sex I think I've ever had... by far.
Richard: Oh, s... it... so it was bad for you... too?
Liz: Yeah, I mean, it was just all elbows. I mean, how many times did our teeth clink?
Richard: Uh, too many. Mm-mm. Too many. Too many.
Liz: You know? And you move your head a lot.
Richard: Well... passion...
Liz: None. Right? I know. Like right out of the gate. When I took my top off, and you actually said the word "gulp"?
Richard: I said it?
Liz: Yes. Yeah.
Richard: Out loud? Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, mistake on my part.
Liz: As bad as it was, you know, and it was bad, um...
Richard: Okay.
Liz: Like... really... awful.
Richard: I get it.
Liz: I just... If there's an upside to any of this, it would be that I realize now what I have in Dan.
Richard: Silver lining, so that's nice.
Richard: Oh, s... it... so it was bad for you... too?
Liz: Yeah, I mean, it was just all elbows. I mean, how many times did our teeth clink?
Richard: Uh, too many. Mm-mm. Too many. Too many.
Liz: You know? And you move your head a lot.
Richard: Well... passion...
Liz: None. Right? I know. Like right out of the gate. When I took my top off, and you actually said the word "gulp"?
Richard: I said it?
Liz: Yes. Yeah.
Richard: Out loud? Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, mistake on my part.
Liz: As bad as it was, you know, and it was bad, um...
Richard: Okay.
Liz: Like... really... awful.
Richard: I get it.
Liz: I just... If there's an upside to any of this, it would be that I realize now what I have in Dan.
Richard: Silver lining, so that's nice.
— Silicon Valley, "Customer Service"
Samantha: [about Charlotte's sexual prowess] Of course it's her. I have to say, I'm not surprised. Ever seen her on a Stairmaster? Nothing happening below the waist. Nada. No sale.
Carrie: How can you say that? Even if she was bad in bed, which she isn't, is it really that important?
Samantha: Absolutely. Who we are in bed is who we are in life. I never met a man who was bad in bed who was good at life.
Carrie: How can you say that? Even if she was bad in bed, which she isn't, is it really that important?
Samantha: Absolutely. Who we are in bed is who we are in life. I never met a man who was bad in bed who was good at life.
— Sex and the City, "Was It Good for You?"
Music
When it's with me, girl, you only need two minutes because I'm so intense... You whisper something sexy like, "Is that it?" I know what you're trying to say, girl, you're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it." Then you tell me you want some more. Well, uh, I'm not surprised... but I'm quite sleepy...
— Flight of the Conchords, "Business Time"
There's just one thing
That's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
You're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over
It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh, you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream
Oh, it's not fair
And it's really not okay
It's really not okay
It's really not okay
Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah, all you do is take
That's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
You're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
And it's apparent it's all over
It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh, you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream
Oh, it's not fair
And it's really not okay
It's really not okay
It's really not okay
Oh, you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah, all you do is take
— Lily Allen, "Not Fair"
Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked
Only six seconds, and I had to fake it
Only six seconds, and I had to fake it
— Leah Kate, "10 Things I Hate About You"
Web Animation
OK, you fucker, nobody that bad in bed could score two hotties that easily. I know you’ve gotta be hiding something.
Webcomics
[Rayne walks out of a bathroom while getting dressed]
Girl of the Week: [from inside the bathroom] Where are you going?
Rayne: I'm done. You were great.
Girl of the Week: [peeking her head out of the bathroom] What about me?
Rayne: What about you?
Girl of the Week: Don't you care about my sexual satisfaction?
Rayne: [walking away] I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.
Girl of the Week: [from inside the bathroom] Where are you going?
Rayne: I'm done. You were great.
Girl of the Week: [peeking her head out of the bathroom] What about me?
Rayne: What about you?
Girl of the Week: Don't you care about my sexual satisfaction?
Rayne: [walking away] I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.
Blonde Woman: I'm submissive in the sense that I don't want to do any work or take any responsibility. So to dominate me, you'll just need to do everything I want. Usually before I know I want it.
Brunette Woman: So when you say 'I'm submissive' you mean 'I'm lazy and demanding'.
Brunette Woman: So when you say 'I'm submissive' you mean 'I'm lazy and demanding'.
— Oglaf
Western Animation
Catwoman: Green Lantern has his special ring!
Black Canary & Huntress: Pretty strong that little thing!
Black Canary: Blue Beetle's deeds are really swell!
Huntress: But who will bring him out of his shell?
Catwoman: Flash's foes, they finish last!
Huntress: Too bad sometimes he's just too fast!
Black Canary & Huntress: Pretty strong that little thing!
Black Canary: Blue Beetle's deeds are really swell!
Huntress: But who will bring him out of his shell?
Catwoman: Flash's foes, they finish last!
Huntress: Too bad sometimes he's just too fast!
— Batman: The Brave and the Bold, "The Mask of Matches Malone!"
[Bojack is mechanically pounding Carolyn as lays on her back straight-faced and annoyed]
Bojack: Are you close?
Princess Carolyn: [exasperated] No.
Bojack: How 'bout now?
Princess Carolyn: [even more exasperated] No.
Bojack: Now?
Princess Carolyn: You're not even inside of me!
Bojack: [climaxing] Oh gaaaaaahhhhhhd!
[he immediately rolls off her while she's still immobile]
Bojack: Did you get there?
Bojack: Are you close?
Princess Carolyn: [exasperated] No.
Bojack: How 'bout now?
Princess Carolyn: [even more exasperated] No.
Bojack: Now?
Princess Carolyn: You're not even inside of me!
Bojack: [climaxing] Oh gaaaaaahhhhhhd!
[he immediately rolls off her while she's still immobile]
Bojack: Did you get there?
Future Stewie: I- I'm sorry. That's, um- That's never happened to me before.
Lana: Which part? The eight seconds of sex, or the forty minutes of crying?
Future Stewie: Uh, I guess both. Do I- Do I give you money or something?
Lana: Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Young Stewie: Eight seconds! That's twice as good as you did in rehearsal.
Lana: Which part? The eight seconds of sex, or the forty minutes of crying?
Future Stewie: Uh, I guess both. Do I- Do I give you money or something?
Lana: Yeah, I'm gonna go.
Young Stewie: Eight seconds! That's twice as good as you did in rehearsal.
