"Cat Hairballs" is a song and Album Single made for The Ren & Stimpy Show as part of the album Ren and Stimpy's Crock O' Christmas. The song is the second track on the album and was meant as a parody of "Jingle Bells".
In addition to appearing on the album, the song had its very own music video, which came on the same tapes as the episode "Son of Stimpy" and played before the episode proper.
The song and music video are about Stimpy hwarfing up hairballs onto a conveyor belt for Ren, who is stamping them for approval and plans on using them for various purposes. However, as Ren starts to get more demanding, the process of licking and hwarfing may prove too much for Stimpy, who starts running out of places to lick. In short, it bares a lot of similarities to the episode The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball.
"Cat Hairballs" provides examples of:
- Applied Phlebotinum: In this case the phlebotinum is Stimpy's hairballs. Apparently they're not only edible, but they can be made into everything from underwear and high heel shoes to Italian sports cars.
- Break the Cutie: The song, and to a greater extent the video, do this to Stimpy.
- Butt-Monkey: With an emphasis on butt. Stimpy gets pretty roughed up throughout the course of the video.
- The Chew Toy: Stimpy is worked to death, slapped, humiliated, squeezed like a tube of toothpaste, fired off like a rocket, and branded on the ass, and we're supposed to love every minute of it.
- Cigar Chomper: One of the items Stimpy promises to make out of the hairballs? Cigars.
- Exhaustion-Induced Idiocy: At the end, Stimpy has been completely licked clean and is completely burnt out from all the hwarfing. Despite this Stimpy jumps on the conveyor belt and tries to hwarf one more time. This results in passing out on said conveyor belt and getting brutally stamped on the ass.
- Fan Service Extra: The woman who appears within the first minute of the video wearing a dress made of hairballs, and strikes a modeling pose. Mrs. Pipes also makes a couple brief appearances in her high heel shoes.
- Hairball Humor: The primary joke is that cat hairballs are gross and also astoundingly versatile.
- Personal Seals: Ren uses a big rubber stamp to mark the hairballs with a "Grade A" signature. Later this stamp is used to smash the words "Grade A" into Stimpy's butt cheeks at the end of the video.
- Head-and-Hip Pose: A model wearing a hairball dress strikes this pose near the beginning of the video.
- Hard-Work Montage: The entire music video is about Stimpy hwarfing up hairballs onto a conveyor belt for Ren, who stamps them, and Stimpy trying to keep up with Ren's demands until eventually succumbing to the slavish workload and getting stamped on the butt.
- High-Heel Power: One of the items to be made from the hairballs is high heeled shoes. During the line about "brand new high heel shoes" Mrs. Pipes makes an appearance in red pumps and Stimpy looks intimidated.
- Honking Arriving Car: When the idea is mentioned of creating an Italian sports car from the hairballs, Stimpy is shown pulling up in a car and honking. However, instead of a traditional car horn, it's a bike horn attached to a helmet.
- "I Am Great!" Song: Contains elements of this. Throughout the song, Stimpy is bragging about all the different things the hairballs can be made into or used for. Stimpy also brags that they "won't run out/I've lots more hair to spare." Considering Stimpy winds up completely stripped clean and lying unconscious on the conveyor belt after being completely hwarfed out, that second part is definitely wrong.
- Iris Out: The music video ends by iris-ing out on Stimpy's butt. Which has just been freshly stamped, leaving the words "Grade A" smashed into the cheeks.
- Jerkass: True to form, Ren is this in the song and video.
- Mid-Vid Skit: Not so much mid video skit as mid vid dialogue, but the early-middle point of the song has Ren growing tired of what Stimpy has already hwarfed up for him.Ren: "Hey, hey, hey, what am I supposed to do with all these smelly old hairballs?! I already got a suit!"Stimpy: "Ok then. Well... how 'bout this?!..."
- Modeling Poses: During the line "hey let's make a three piece suit/of this freshly hwarfed up hair" a woman strikes a Head-and-Hip Pose to show off her dress.
- Overly-Long Tongue: Stimpy's tongue is shown to be very long, able to not only reach their arms, but their belly and indeed their whole body, judging by how licked clean Stimpy looks by the end.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: The very start of the song begins with backup vocalists singing "Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf, Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf, Hwarf Hwarf Hwarf..."
- Song Parody: Of "Jingle Bells". Though the instrumentation, lyrics, and overall sound is different enough for the song to stand on its own.
- Unobtainium: Somehow hairballs are this, what with being such a versatile substance that they can be made into almost anything, from women's dresses to cars.
- Unusual Euphemism: Stimpy spitting out hairballs is exclusively referred to as "Hwarfing" to the point of Insistent Terminology.
- Video Full of Film Clips: The music video is made up entirely of clips from multiple episodes, but still manages to tell a story by using "The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball" as a through line. The video is about Stimpy being forced to lick up and hwarf hairballs onto a conveyor belt while Ren Stamps them with a big "Grade A" stamp for approval. While at first things seem fun and Stimpy seems happy to be farmed for this Unobtainium, things turn darker when Stimpy's body starts running out of places to lick and the act of hwarfing becomes more draining and painful as production (and the song) wramps up. Finally this ends with Stimpy, now naked and totally licked clean, suffering a Heroic RRoD and passing out on the conveyor belt, and Ren violently branding Stimpy's ass with the "Grade A" stamp.
- Wacky Sound Effect: The music video has several cartoon sound effects throughout the video. among them are:
- A whirling sound when Stimpy spins Ren around.
- A rubbery spring noise when they spring off of a chair.
- Coughing after the line "or a fine cigar".
- A sucking sound as Stimpy sucks Ren up.
- Countless splat sounds when one of Stimpy's hwarfs hits the conveyor belt.
- Whole-Plot Reference: The music video is a whole plot reference to the episode The Cat That Laid The Golden Hairball.
- Wolf Whistle: Stimpy imitates a wolf whistle after the line about a hat with "matching underwear", which seems to imply that they're talking about lingerie.