Funny / Phelous 2021 Episodes

Animal Soccer World: The Book

• Phelous’s complete and utter bafflement at the fact that a few Dingo Pictures movies somehow got ebook adaptations.
  Phelous: Let’s review Animal Soccer World again. But this time the digital book version. Cause that exists.
  Phelous (slightly later): We’re seriously adapting Dingo Pictures movies now?
• Edutain4Kids (the company that made the Ebooks) also has a Redbubble store where you can buy thinks like a coffee mug with the Bremen-Town Musicians on it, or a shower curtain with King Mah God and Robin. So yes, Dingo Pictures has merch now.
• The book changes Wabuu's name to "Dingo" for some reason, much to the real Wabuu's annoyance.
  Wabuu: Dingo?! Who dares call the great Wabuu “Dingo”?! I’m a raccoon who bounces around like a kangaroo, you idiot! You had my name on your site at one point! Edutain4Kids is soooo stuupid!
• “So glad they didn’t change the boring opening at all. Wouldn’t want to entertain anyone too much.”
• “They passed by a band of musicians [the Bremen-Town Band]. It’s super important to note this because no it’s not.”
• The triumphant return of the Reporter Birdhole jingle.
• When Castor and “Jako” have their fight:
  E4K!Wabuu: This is the greatest fight that I, Dingo, have ever seen!
  Real!Wabuu: You’re not Dingo, dammit!
• “Jovi’s father the animal king even offered to train them, but later I guess since he couldn’t even be bothered to appear on this page.”
• “The Jungle Kings have some other real jungle stars… like a racoon. And a seal.”
• PAGE INTERRUPTING BEAR!
• “He also checked with the local band to see how their rehearsal was going. They did not have lyrics to the song yet, but they were thinking maybe they’d sing some Dutch words on top of some German words.”
• “I’m glad they didn’t cut the super important scenes like the uniforms getting made.”
• Narration: So far, so good, until a bunch of Hooligeese appeared. The Hooligeese are part of a notorious gang well-known to be bullies
  Phelous: Imagine getting bullied by these doofuses…
• “Anyway, time for the weirdo cheerleader pigs! Everyone’s favorite part!”
• “Jako takes a shot, but clearly just has diamonds on his mind again and shoots nowhere near the net.”
• Commenting on how Edutain4Kids is copying every last little detail of how the game went in the movie, right down to the seal’s bad pass.
• “A game does not get truly serious until Crumb is on the field.”
• Commenting on how ridiculous it sounds when the announcer vultures say “Dingo the racoon”.
  Phelous: I can’t wait until they sub in Zebra the walrus.
• The introduction of “Gulb, everyone’s favorite dog that they’d never heard of”.
• Phelous’s mock annoyance at them cutting the part where the pelican ate the soccer ball.
• “They clearly get a little bored here so they just say a bunch of passes and failed goal attempts happened. It’s almost like this is an adaptation of a movie with very little content or something.”
• “Playing out the clock. The most exciting part of any sport.”
• Complaining about his inability to do an early credits gag since he’s reviewing a book.
• “Cool, just like in the movie they do some sequel baiting for a continuation that ain’t happening.”
• Ending the review:
  Phelous: So that’s the confusing book adaptation of Animal Soccer World that really has no right existing. What’d you think of it, Wabuu?
  Wabuu: Well, I would’ve been more pissed off with this story calling me “Dingo” had they not also changed it to me scoring one of the goals, which improves Animal Soccer World 10 for 10 out of 10. Actually, this story could’ve still used me a bit more, so B- out of 10.
• And, of course, The Stinger:
  Wabuu: You know, I got a way better uniform in this book than the stupid movie.

Pokémon Unauthorized Master’s Guide

Hansel and Gretel (Britannica)

Wizard of Oz (Goodtimes)

• ♪ Somewhere over the Goodtimes! Golden Films! ♪
• The film was made back when Golden Films was called the “American Film Investment Corporation”, and Phelous comments that it’s hard to believe they changed their name from something that exciting.
• When the movie opens with Dorothy running from a tornado:
  Phelous: Well, we start this movie off literally running. I told you this thing was rushed.
• “It’s a very… gentle tornado, isn’t it?”
• Phelous doesn't really comment on it, it's amusing how Dorothy runs outside in her socks. Although he does comment how easily she loses them at the beginning of the cartoon.
• “Everyone, look at the wonderful land of Oz! There’s, um, some colorful rocks or something on the ground! Yeah!”
• Mocking the film’s inconsistent animation by saying that the Good Witch’s glasses are magic and that’s why they aren’t connected to any frames and one of the lenses sometimes disappears in distance shots.
• “Hey, could you please get this stick out of my ass?”
• The Tin Man’s introduction:
  Tin Man (in an extremely grating high-pitched voice): I was chopping this tree when it started to rain and I got stuck!
  Phelous!Tin Man: I’m really annoying, so just leave me here to die!
• Phelous editing in a scene of the Tin Man chopping Dorothy’s head off with his ax.
• When the trio finds a small tree trunk has fallen across their path, and decide that rather than just climb over it they should have the Tin Man clear the path with his ax, Phelous edits in his reaction to a similar scene in Anaconda 4.
• This exchange:
  //The Cowardly Lion’s roar is heard//
  Dorothy: That sounded close.
  Scarecrow: That wasn’t a b-bird, that’s for sure!
  Phelous: Look up in the sky! It’s a lion! No, it’s a tiger! No, it’s a bear! Oh my!
• Phelous mocking how this adaptation makes the Cowardly Lion’s cowardice a completely Informed Flaw.
• Making fun of the infamous “Hanging Munchkin” rumor.
• When the camera takes a full six seconds to pan across the landscape to the Emerald City
  Phelous: Yeah, might as well waste some time. I mean, it’s not like you’re already cramming a load into 25 minutes or anything.
• The film’s decision to represent the “Mighty Wizard Of Oz” as a crystal ball sitting on a throne earns a lot of ribbing.
  Phelous: This is the wizard’s great illusion in this one? A shiny bowling ball on a chair? Really got kind of lazy, didn’t you wizard? He can’t even keep his glow centered correctly.
• Immediately after that:
  Wizard: Rid the land of the Wicked Witch Of The West!
  Phelous!Wizard: Do what I say or I’ll roll onto the floor and stub your toes!
• Dorothy: How do we know where to find the Witch Of The West?
  Phelous: She must be that smudge on the cell! //Camera zooms in on said smudge// Quick, get her!
• Commenting on how the cartoon makes the Winged Monkeys absurdly buff.
• The fact that less than one minute passes between the Wicked Witch's capture of Dorothy and her famous I'm Melting! scene.
• Playing Hektan’s death scene while the Witch Of The West melts.
• “Oh no! The wizard has embarrassing fashion sense! No wonder he pretended to be a ball!”
• When Dorothy uses the Silver Slippers to teleport back to Kansas, Phelous dubs in a specific piece of audio:
  '''Starfleet Transporter Tech''': What we got back didn’t live long… fortunately.
• Ending the review by putting a sepia tone filter over the footage and joking that it means he’s in Kansas.

Beauty and the Beast (Ruby-Spears)

• The Running Gag with random things getting struck by lightning because someone just happened to say the "right" thing. Particularly when they have to resort to living in a cottage in the woods after their house gets struck by lightning and burned down.
  Beauty: We'll find a way to be happy, father. You'll see.
  (The cottage gets struck by lightning.)
  Phelous!Beauty's Father: Don't you ever get tired of being wrong, Beauty?
  Phelous!Beauty: It could have been worse. You could have been struck directly by the lightning.
  (Beauty's father gets struck by lightning and set on fire.)
  Phelous!Beauty: Well, at least we still have-
  Phelous!Beauty's Father: Someone gag her!
• "Do you love me yet, Beauty? Do you love me yet, Beauty? Do you love me yet, Beauty? *fart* Do you love me yet, Beauty? Do you love me yet, Beauty? *fart*"

The Worst Episode of Transformers

• The Running Gag of Galvatron saying "Soundwave, are you getting this?" everytime Soundwave uses the harmonies to fight the Autobots.
• Phelous expresses his annoyance in either Ultra Magnus or Galvatron having Blaster or Soundwave respectively to translate the Eurythmen even though they speak the same language only with a voice filter.
  Phelous/Zebop: How do you not understand me? It's not like I'm even speaking another language.
  Phelous/Ultra Magnus: What did he say?
  Phelous/Blaster: He says "This episode SUCKS"!
  Phelous/Ultra Magnus: Damn it, Blaster. I can't deal with bad reviews right now.
• Phelous also points out the constant changing of the Autobots/Decepticons' emblems, and in one instance, mocks Soundwave's disappearing emblem.
  Phelous/Soundwave: Galvatron, your giant nose has made me decide to go neutral now!
  Phelous/Galvatron: Blast it, Soundwave!

Puss In Boots

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Beauty And The Beast (Burbank)

Rudi Rotnase/Red Nose

• The sheer fact that Phelous has found a movie company with lower production values than Dingo Pictures.
• Not intentional on Phelous's part, but YouTube's autogenerated captions repeatedly interpret "Rudi Rotnase" (the film’s German release title) as “Rudi rotten ass”, an interpretation most commentators found oddly fitting given the film’s quality.
• Phelous suggesting that the EastWest dubs could have been made by “people inside a cardboard box with ‘dubbing company’ written in crayon on it.”
• The film’s DVD release cover is in a different artstyle and loaded with characters who aren’t actually in the film... including, for some reason, a cartoon monkey sidekick, which Phelous is appropriately baffled by.
• The truly absurd amount of Padding in the film earns much ire from Phelous. Exactly how bad is it? The movie’s producers actually slowed down the footage in certain scenes.
• After a ridiculously dragged-out opening sequence:
  Phelous: They needed that super slow lead-in as to not shock you with all the action.
• EastWest gets straight into screwing up their lines, as Santa accidentally says something that an elf was supposed to be telling him.
  Phelous: Because reading the correct dialogue is hard.
• “It’s amazing they can be muddled and blow out the mic at the same time. These EastWest dubbers are multi-talented. ”
• “It’s a fun game with Red Nose- try and figure out if it’s the original movie or just the dub being inept.”
• The narrator at one point says “My god, it’s gold out there”.
• The movie somehow manages to make a fade to white choppy.
• Phelous imitating the obviously-fake baby noises produced by Santa’s infant child (who isn’t in any way relevant to the story, by the way).
• Thinking the narrator said “shit”, and being disappointed when it turns out he was actually trying to say “shed”.
  • Which then ties in to a Call-Back to The Town Musicians Of Bremen
  Phelous: I mean we know if there’s one thing Mr. Sleepy Dutch Man wakes up for, it’s poo talk!
  //Cut to a clip of the narrator in Bremen snickering after mentioning poo.//
• Making fun of the producer’s attempt to use a By the Lights of Their Eyes scene to be even lazier with the animation.
• Comparing a very loud owl whose “Whoo” keeps drowning out the dialogue to Kaepora Gaebora
• Throwing up a fake “loading” icon in the corner of a scene where an actor inexplicably pauses for several seconds while in the middle of a sentence.
• “Okay, but let’s pointlessly move our mouths some more first”.
• A scene of Rudolph slowly scrolling (not even walking, scrolling) across the screen, which gets repeated multiple times. On the third repetition, it earns a playing of “Ba-Dum Ba-Dum”.
  • Which, by the way, is the third time Phelous used the song in his review of the movie.
• One of the EastWest dubbers audibly messes up a line and has to repeat it.
  Mr. Almond: But don’t think I have given my chil- But don’t think I haven’t given my children
  Phelous: Oh no, the record skipped. Oh no, the record skipped.
• Wrapping up the film: “And we end on choppiness and non-animated talking”
• When the movie ends with the narrator asking “Well, did you like the story?”, Phelous briefly goes Laughing Mad.
• The ending skit. Really, the entire thing is a CMOF
  • Especially the fact that, for all its Stylistic Suck, the animation in it is still better than the actual movie.

---