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Funny / Green Lantern

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  • Nothing will ever, ever, ever, EVER top Batman flooring Guy Gardner with one punch. It got a Shout-Out in GL: Rebirth when Hal did the same thing to Batman before kicking Parallax's yellow ass.
  • For Black Comedy that Crosses the Line Twice, you can't beat the obituary for beloved and sadly blown up GL Mogo, in the letters page for Green Lantern Corps #60.
    Mogo, age unknown, died suddenly and unexpectedly in the orbit of Oa, Space Sector 00. He was born in the creation of the universe, and much of his history, as well as how he joined the Green Lantern Corps, is unknown. He leaves behind two moons and assorted debris hurtling dangerously through space. Seriously, be careful.
    Mogo was not only the roundest of the Green Lanterns, he was also Corps' only member to be a living planet. A lifelong resident of Sector 2261 for several millennia, he was also the compass that directed where new GL rings were sent to find viable candidates.
    Although he often acted as a mentor to Corpsmen needing guidance, he was not known for being one to socialize.
    His passions included cultivating the lush forests covering his surface, orbiting his system's sun, and not exploding.
    During the Blackest Night, Mogo selflessly protected Oa and the Central Power Battery by absorbing dangerous Black Lantern energy into his own core. Few have ever demonstrated such bravery or sacrifice, and after seeing what happened to the last guy who did, odds are few more ever will.
    He will be missed.
    In lieu of flowers, the Guardians ask that donations of willpower be sent in care of Oa. Or cash. Cash is actually better, but, you know, whatever.
  • Green Lantern: The New Guardians gives us Kyle arguing with a little kid about his costume.
    • The same issue has a Sinestro Corps member terrorizing some people... until his ring abandons him. The people surround and presumably beat the crap out of/kill him.
  • In the New 52's Green Lantern issue #14, new Green Lantern Simon Baz is confronted by the Justice League for being a suspected terrorist. They also question him on how he got his ring.
    Batman: According to Green Lantern, recruits are chosen for their courage.
    Aquaman: And they only choose a new recruit after a Lantern dies.
  • The Red Lanterns are slowly dying. Fatality offers to convert the female members into Star Sapphires so that they will survive, then Zilius Zox (a male) goes, "No fair!"
  • Carol Ferris is declared the Queen of the Star Sapphires. Larfleeze then promptly states "I want to be Queen!"
  • Hal Jordan has to teach some new Green Lantern recruits how to use their rings during an attack by Larfleeze. He tells him to use their imagination. One of them makes a fist construct... and accidentally punches Hal in the back of the head with it.
    Hal Jordan: See that wasn't so hard. (points to Larfleeze) Now use your imagination in that direction.
    • If you look closely, you can see that the fist construct has its thumb tucked inside the fingers. After the battle, Hal teaches the recruit how to make a proper fist.
  • In one story, a corrupt military guy is dying. In his last breath, he tells a military officer that in his safe, he has proof that Hal Jordan is really the Green Lantern. The officer he tells it to? Diana Prince.
  • This variant of the Oath.
  • Red Lanterns #22: As Bleez is monologuing about her plan to use the now-mindless Guy Gardner as a living weapon, Rankorr quietly uses his ring to dump Guy in the lake of blood behind her back.
    • After he gets his mind back, Guy starts questioning the Red's living arrangements.
    Guy: I'm getting angry just looking at this place. Not even a tent?
    Ratchet: Absolutely not. Tents are for the weak.
  • From Red Lanterns #24, Atrocitus and Dex-Starr try wrangling The Butcher. It doesn't go well, but it does give the hilarious sight of Dex-Starr, a cat from Earth, yelling "bad cow" at the giant red bull made of rage.
  • In Red Lanterns #25, Bleez and Skallox try to see how much booze Zilius Zox can chug. When Guy tells them what kind of booze it is, Zox ends up puking acid out of his huge mouth and burns a hole in the floor.
    • In the same issue, we cut to Atrocitus and Dexx-Star in space, thinking how to take back the Red Lantern Corps from Guy. Atrocitus starts lamenting about how far he's fallen and his Right-Hand Cat, Dexx-Star, tells him to quit whining and be himself.
    Dexx-Star: Ssstop whining! Find rage! Be Atrocitussss, not baby!
  • In Red Lanterns #27, Skallox and Zox are on Earth sightseeing when Shadow Thief confronts them. The two Red Lanterns try to talk their way out of it, but the spherical Zox feels obliged to ask her one question that makes her hit him.
    Zilius Zox: What's a testicle?
    • In the next issue, Shadow Thief squeezes Zox until he looks like a peanut. When Hal Jordan asks what happened to him, Zox spits at his feet.
      • While trying to restrain the newest Red Lantern, Supergirl, she socks Zox and he inflates back into a sphere with a look of relief on his face.
  • Bleez not understanding what "four-eyes" means and asks the human red lantern what happened to his other eyes.
  • The Red Lantern "bar" with a prominent "no cats allowed" sign.
  • With all the troubles associated with Supergirl as a red lantern, the first thing Guy Gardner is worried about is other reds giving her alcohol.
  • When Superman tries to talk down the enraged red lantern Supergirl, she hits him with a ship and sends him flying while the red lanterns sarcastically congratulate him on his efforts.
  • Bleez trying to shove Kara aside and she doesn't budge an inch.
  • Kara blasting Atrocitus' blood tornado thingy, which is destroying a city, with heat vision. Result: Blood tornado is now on fire and continues its rampage. Bleez slaps her and tells her to get a hold of herself.
  • Jack T. Chance's oath as a Green Lantern.
    "You who are wicked, evil and mean
    I'm the nastiest creep you've ever seen!
    Come one, come all, put up a fight
    I'll kick your ass with Green Lantern's light!
  • In Agent Orange, Hal is struggling with the Blue Lantern Ring stuck on him and interfering with his green ring. The ring won't come off until he's used up all of his energy, but he doesn't know how to use hope, and the ring very frequently asks "What do you hope for?" As Larfleeze absorbs all of the Orange Light into himself to finish off the Green Lanterns, the ring asks yet again, "What do you hope for?"
    Hal: As soon as we get out of this... I hope you stop asking me that question.
    Ring: Sincerity registered. Power levels 100%
    Hal: You've got to be kidding me—
  • In Green Lanterns, Jessica Cruz, when faced with the prospect of spending time with Simon Baz's family, decides to try and call Darkseid to see what he's doing for dinner instead.
    Jessica: Ramen? Darkseid seems like a noodle guy.
  • Hal Jordan and The Green Lantern #33 has one of the newest recruits practicing under Ganthet and Sayd, and by practicing, i mean nearly scaring two immortals to death with hard-light animals.
  • #48, page 7, of the same series has Hammond being bored during a discussion between the main four and making mental backgrounds.
  • A kind of dark moment in The Green Lantern #3 has Hal arguing with the whole population of Earth over the fact that a big space monster is trying to eat the whole planet.
  • Green Lantern: New Guardians has Glomulus, Larfleeze's roundest construct, doing such things as forming a medic's garb in one issue and some popcorn from himself in another.
  • Also in Green Lanterns, One of the oldest living beings in the universe has various household items stacked on his head by Simon's nephew while in meditation.

  • In the 80th Anniversary Special, Hal crash lands on in a desert unknown planet after long battle with the Sinestro Corps with no idea where he is and fuzzy memories of how he got there. His ring is damaged and on it's last resserves of power with him not knowing if the planet hes on can support human life. With only enough power to send three messages he sends a distress call. The n he sends a message to Batman, apologizing for being such a pain in the ass and thanking him. The final message is a dying love letter to Carol. This would all be a combo of Nightmare fuel, Tearjerker and Heartwarming, except Hal realizes he can breath. He makes his way over a hill to see Las Vegas and that he was on Earth All Along. With his ring dead he is unable to pull the messages and he laments that he will Never Live It Down. Cut to Hal sitting as the Justice League is laughing at his blunder and even Batman has a smirk.


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