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Film / The Loch Ness Horror

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For once, not a case of Covers Always Lie; it may not look as impressive, but this does happen in the movie.

"Loch Ness. Deep. Dark. Cold. Frightening. Not to those living on its shores, but to those outsiders who threaten its world-famous secret, the Loch Ness Monster, this is a warning! There is something in these waters, and it is alive!"
Needlessly Melodramatic Narrator

The Loch Ness Horror is a 1981 horror film directed by Texan filmmaker Larry Buchanan (Attack of the The Eye Creatures).

Scottish scientist Professor George Sanderson obtains the help of American sonic expert Spencer Dean to hunt for the legendary Loch Ness Monster. Spencer ends up falling for Kathleen Stuart, the daughter of irritable local nobleman Jack Stuart, who claims to have taken the very first photo of Nessie and has it mounted on his wall. Meanwhile, rival scientist Professor Pratt and his men are also hunting for Nessie. They find a sunken World War II German bomber in the Loch before retrieving Nessie's egg. Although Nessie kills both of Pratt's assistants, he manages to abscond with the egg in his Volkswagen van.

Spencer and Sanderson's efforts to locate Nessie only yield the sunken plane, which causes a bit of a stiry, because it was supposed to have been shot down by a knighted M.P. back when he was a private During the War. He's concerned that the discovery of the intact bomber (which actually crashed due to engine failure) will ruin his political career, and so he sends Colonel Laughton of the British Army to institute a lockdown (Lochdown?) and destroy the evidence (i.e. the plane) via underwater demolition.


Meanwhile, Kathleen gets herself kidnapped by Professor Pratt and held hostage for unclear reasons, whilst Nessie suddenly remembers she's in the movie and promptly goes on a budget-conscious rampage, killing horny teenagers and soldiers who can't shoot straight, in an effort to kill Pratt and reclaim her egg.

The film is infamous for its poor special effects, meandering story, awful use of California Doubling and the fact that, as with almost all of his films, Larry Buchanan uses members of his family both in front of the camera and behind it, whether they're suited to the task or not.


Tropes used in this film:

  • An Axe to Grind: The Mad Scotsman doesn't like people bothering him on his island, and has a tendency to try and murder them with a medieval battleaxe if they do.
  • Artistic License – Biology: Sanderson at one point claims Nessie can't be a giant otter because "otters are not aquatic."
  • Artistic License – History:
    • There are no sunken Luftwaffe planes in Loch Ness. At least not that we know.
    • The photo Jack Stuart claims he took was actually taken by Dr. Robert Wilson in 1934.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Nessie is blown up, but her egg survives.
  • Bloodless Carnage: Played straight with all of Nessie's attacks (except for Pratt). Averted when Brad kills the Mad Scotsman with his own axe, he receives a really nasty, gushing head wound.
  • Eagle Land: Spencer can be kind of a boorish lout sometimes, even if he doesn't mean to.
  • Elopement: When Kathleen doesn't come home after staying out on the Loch with Spencer, Jack becomes convinced she's eloped with the American.
  • Everything's Louder with Bagpipes: It is Scotland, after all.
  • Go Mad from the Isolation: This seems to be why the Mad Scotsman is, well, mad.
  • Guns Are Worthless: Either Nessie is Immune to Bullets or the British Army soldiers trained at the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy, because although they blast away nonstop with their M16s, they don't seem to do anything. Then there's Pratt's pistol...
  • The Hermit: The Mad Scotsman lives alone in an abandoned castle on an island in the middle of the Loch.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: The explosives expert hired to demolish the German plane ends up getting killed (along with Nessie) by his own bomb.
  • Reliably Unreliable Guns: Pratt's Colt Python jams for... some reason. This despite the fact he checks to see that it's loaded before getting out to confront the soldiers.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Nessie wants her egg back, dang it!
  • Sensor Suspense: Used a few times in the scenes with Spencer and Sanderson on Spencer's boat.
  • Shown Their Work: The pilots of the sunken plane look exactly the same as they did back in the 40s. Due to the temperature of the Loch, there's very little bacteria, and so things don't decompose as quickly.
  • Stock Footage: Scenes of the German plane in flight are actually from Where Eagles Dare.
  • Stock Sound Effects: Nessie's roar sound familiar? It's a TIE Fighter from Star Wars!
  • Trailers Always Spoil: There's a few different versions of the trailer and they all spoil many of the kills to some degree or another. They all show Pratt's death, and some even show the Mad Scotsman being killed as well.