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We Rent the Night, is a Mystery/BuddyCop comedy 'My Little Pony'' fanfic, written by TotallyNotABrony, that can be found here.

After the fallout of the Alicorn Amulet incident, Trixie is arrested and is facing imprisonment. But given the circumstances, Princess Luna takes pity on Trixie and offers her a way out, if she joins the Lunar Guard. Six months later, Private Trixie Lulamoon is the second lowest ranking out of half a dozen ponies stationed in the small and remote post of Camp Driftwood, on the small and remote island community of Wash Margin, where she miserably awaits the end of her tour, in another three and half years with nothing to do, but march from one side of the island to the other and occasionally take care of the town drunk for the night.

On the bright side though, a new recruit has just arrived, putting an end to her status as ‘’the new girl’’, while giving her a new and inexperience partner, to show around. Oh, and there is this little matter of evidence, that a cult worshiping a god of destruction, may have surfaced on the island. Well, it puts an end to her boredom.

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Has a sequel, Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes, which focuses on the side character Melon Rind after a Time Skip.


We Rent The Night contains examples of

  • Adorkable: Private Melon Rind, Trixie’s new partner and the new recruit at Camp Driftwood. He at first tries to put up a tough guy act, but is immediately revealed to a naive and kind hearted farm kid.
  • The Alcoholic: Strawberry Rhyme is the town drunk.
  • Anti-Hero: Trixie is not interested in being a guard or the work that entails, only joining to get out being punished for the Alicorn Amulet incident. But when the town she is station in might be in danger, she does step up to save the day, even if through some unconventional methods.
  • Armor-Piercing Response: During Trixie's conversation with Strawberry Rhyme the town drunk near the end of the story, the latter manages to throw Trixie a line that shakes her to her very core:
    Trixie: “What’s wrong with taking pride in being a hero?”
    Strawberry: “If you’re truly a hero, or good at magic, or your job, or whatever, others will tell you.”
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  • Bait-and-Switch: "It was be locked up somewhere nopony could hear her talk about herself or go to prison."
  • Batman Gambit: Trixie lures in their first suspect by daring him to come on stage, knowing he would not back down from her challenge. She also use one on Melon Rind, to show him how much he needs to learn. And later, she uses an illusion spell to trick the cult leader into confessing.
  • The Big Guy: Melon Rind is the Gentle Giant type.
  • Brains and Brawn: Trixie and Melon are the brains and brawn respectively, though mildly subverted both ways, as Trixie is just far more experienced and less naive than Melon Rind and though Melon is stronger physically, Trixie more then makes up for it with her magic.
  • Bruiser with a Soft Center: Melon becomes this to some extent.
  • Buddy Cop Show: The bulk of the story, between Trixie and Melon Rind.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Lt. Mirror is a rather eccentric commander: Mirror is introduced hanging upside down from a water pipe in her office for no discernable reason, smokes pieces of string, asks Trixie to do magic tricks for her, casually greets her subordinates, etc. But is still shown to be wise leader, when she has to be.
  • Captain Smooth and Sergeant Rough: LT. Mirror and SGT. Hasta respectively.
  • Character Development: Trixie, both before and during the story. Being stationed on a remote island with nothing to do, but try and stave off boredom while waiting for the end of her enlistment in four years, has left her a miserable and cynical shell of her former self. But the mystery and having a new partner to mentor, eventually gives her enough drive to become a confident and resourceful guard, who would even consider making the situation permanent.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Melon got sent to the island for pulling a “Flash Sentry”.
    Trixie:(without missing a beat) Which princess did you hit on?
  • Deadpan Snarker: Trixie and her fellow Night Guard, sans Melon Rind.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?:
    Trixie: Does nopony take the Great and Powerful Trixie seriously!?
  • Devil in Plain Sight: The cult leader is the lady who sales salt.
  • Gentle Giant: Melon Rind is a very large and powerful stallion, but is a sweet guy at heart.
  • Good Cop/Bad Cop: Lt. Mirror has Trixie and herself do this, while interrogating a cult member... without making clear which is which.
  • Hidden Depths: Despite being the town drunk, Strawberry is surprisingly insightful.
  • Insistent Terminology:
    Melon: Aren't you a con artist?
    Trixie: I'm an illusionist.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Pretty much all of the Night Guard on the island, including Trixie, are this.
  • Joke and Receive: Upon seeing the safe she and her partner had to crack was made by the Flim Flam brothers, Trixie sarcastically says she'd be surprised if it wasn't being held together by gum. Sure enough, when they crack it open they find gum.
  • Journey to Find Oneself: Downplayed, Trixie unknowingly ends up doing this throughout the story, changing from a Jerkass who just wants to get her tour over with, to a confident guard. Lt. Mirror even lampshades this:
    Lt. Mirror: You know what you want; you know what you are like. I think you know who you are, and also who you want to be.
  • Large Ham: Trixie, though being stationed at Camp Driftwood for six months has really dulled her attitude, she still has her moments.
  • Nice Guy: Melon Rind.
  • Naive New Comer: Again, Melon.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Lt. Mirror is implied to be doing this.
  • OC: Though cannon characters are mentioned, Trixie is the only one to appear in the story, while the rest of the cast is made up entirely of Original Characters.
  • Oh, Crap!: The Big Bad has one of these, when the God Of Destruction comes after her. It’s just an illusion created by Trixie.
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: Apparently why anyone’s stationed at Camp Driftwood. Other than Trixie and Melon, Corporal Dusty Daze and Private Meteor, tried to seduce a senior officer and knocked over Celestia’s cake and tried to blame on her bird, respectively.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Sergeant Hasta and Lt. Mirror are both this, in their own way and encourage Trixie to become a better guard.
  • Remember When You Blew Up a Sun?: Trixie taking an entire town hostage and personally banishing the Princess of Friendship is brought up repeatedly. Melon Rind is astonished when he first hers this, but the other guards are used to her and quickly brush it off.
  • Room Full of Crazy: One of the cult members has one of these.
  • Scam Religion: The cult turns out to be a sham, to draw in Unwitting Pawn(s) for a smuggling operation.
  • "Scooby-Doo" Hoax: The cult worshipping the God of Destruction, turns out to just be an elaborate scam used to recruit pawns in a smuggling operation.
  • Shell Game: Trixie uses one to show Melon Rind just how much he needs to learn.
    Trixie: It’s not under any of them. You are an imbecile because you let yourself get baited into an argument, let me pick the game, and forgot that a unicorn can cheat using magic.
  • Title Drop: The ending.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Trixie goes from a miserable and uncaring guard, who is just trying to pass the time, until she can leave, into a confident and resourceful soldier, with lots of potential in the guard.
  • Unholy Matrimony: Two of the cult members we meet, are both married and old childhood sweethearts. It is revealed that the cult leader has been manipulating them both, since they were children.
  • Unwitting Pawn: The cult members turn out to be innocent ponies, who have been brainwashed into being part of an illegal smuggling operation.
  • Voluntary Shape Shifting: All Night Guards are given the ability to morph into Bat-ponies, thanks to their enchanted amour. Though Lt. Mirror is the only one that uses it.
  • You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Both Sergeant Hasta and Lt. Mirror give Trixie this, though she doesn’t listen at first.

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