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Fanfic / Fobbies Are Borange

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Ness: Are we there yet?
Bus Driver: We'll be in Onett soon.
Ness: Are we there yet?
Jeff: Ness, I will KILL YOUR MOTHER.

Fobbies Are Borange is an Affectionate Parody fan-retelling of EarthBound, in the form of an internet radio play. It follows the rather stupid Ness on his journey much the same as its parent work, though in a much different matter. It is written by and stars Stephen Georg (xfisjmg1), Jane Tovar (matilda_caboose, credited at the time as Martin Tovar), Jami Carignan (Katon, then credited as Benjamin Carignan), Muhammad Abdul-Rahim (Lewahi), and Chaz Estell (BlackLeader). Fobbies are Borange ran for 42 official episodes, Fobbies are Borange: The Movie, Ask a Fooby 1 and 2, and four recap episodes, ending on September 5th, 2008. Fobbies are Borange has several spinoffs, including Loids are not Christmas, Paulas are Bamazing, and Ninten Speaks. The official sequel to FaB, titled Tree From My Youth, aired its first non-joke episode on February 20th, 2009. Tree From My Youth retells Mother 3.


The Chosen Four of EarthBound have gained quite a bit of personality when transitioning into radio.

Ness (Stephen Georg) is the token main character of the Chosen Four. Ness is the supposed leader of the group, but it's pretty obvious that he's on his own journey and his friends are just along for the ride. Ness has ADD, causing him to be very erratic and oftentimes childish, but sadly, he's probably the most stable person in the group.

Paula Polestar (Jane Tovar) is angry. No one's entirely sure WHY, but she is. Since then she's gone on to become one of the most developed of the Chosen Four; her rather unconventional behavior and obvious spite for her fellow travelers being something fans either love or hate. She's dour, bitter, sarcastic, domineering, and prone to anger and violence.

Jeff Andonuts (Jami Carignan) is the third member of the Chosen Four. Jeff's personality is hard to describe, because as far as anyone can tell, he doesn't have one. The only time he shows any spark of emotion is when he's eyeing women with cake or someone is trying to pilfer his beloved EarthBound Player's Guide.


Prince Poo (Muhammad Abdul-Rahim) has big dreams and even bigger vocal chords. Poo, like Ness, is overall a childish character who shows signs of maturity every so often, only in this case it might be more due to the fact that he's from a foreign country than he's actually that spacey. Overall Poo tries to be friends with everyone (much to the dismay of Paula Polestar), and is always attempting to keep the attitude of the group a positive one.

The Narrator (Jami Carignan) is the narrator of Fobbies are Borange. He introduces most of the episodes and then wraps them up once it's over. His only known enemy is The British Narrator.

Fobbies Are Borange can be found almost in its entirety here. Alternatively visit the new official website.

This series is an example of:

  • Affectionate Parody: Of ''Earthbound.
  • Artistic License – Biology: Played for laughs. Paula is struck with a lifelong nicotine addiction due to eating raw trout. Not to mention that, apparently, dumping orange sharpies into sweet tea causes the drinker to become orange and brain-damaged.
  • Audience Participation: Each episode of Ninten Speaks wraps up with an invitation to post comments or make video responses.
  • Awesome, but Impractical: PSI Starstorm Omega.
    Poo: When I get back to Dalaam I am going to kill the Star Master!
  • Bare-Fisted Monk: Ninten in Loids Are Not Christmas. He hits things with his hand.
  • Berserk Button: Do not touch Jeff's Players' Guide.
  • Brother–Sister Incest: Subverted. Patrick "Tony" Andonuts. He loves Jeff. He loves Jeff enough to buy two one-way tickets to Alabama, where this kind of stuff is okay. Jeff, however, is creeped out.
  • Catchphrase: Ninten—"I'MA HIT IT WITH MY HAND."
  • Live-Action Adaptation: Episode 37.5 and later episodes of Ninten Speaks.
  • Logic Bomb: In episode 42, During the fight against Tommy, Jeff is able to beat Tommy by pointing out that Tommy's not in the player's guide, therefore, they shouldn't have to fight him.
  • Manchild: Ninten is around 20, acts around 10, and sounds around 5. It's kinda creepy.
  • Medium Awareness: Played with; the Chosen Four believe that they are in EarthBound, and frequently make references towards this.
  • The Mole: It turns out that Al Gore was a good guy all along.
  • No Fourth Wall: Played incredibly, incredibly straight.
    Steven (xfisjmg1): This is Fobbies are Borange. We find the fourth wall, take a hammer and shatter it.
  • Pyromaniac: Jeff with his bottle rockets
  • The Reveal: The Narrator? Giygas. And Paula's father.
  • Spiritual Successor: The Final Fantasy Wiki editors looked after FAB to make "Intangirs are VIndigo", a retelling of Final Fantasy VI.
  • Shout-Out: If you watch the Loids Are Not Christmas 2 comic, look at Pippi in the last picture. Yeah, those clothes, that hair and that knife certainly seem familiar... and so does that "penguin" beside her.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: In Episode 7 of Fobbies are Borange, a random kidnapper tells Ness the following.
    Ness: So, where is Paula again?
    Kidnapper: Paula? Who's Paula? Well, Paula's definitely not in the mountain cabin. Why would Paula be in the mountain cabin? So don't go to the mountain cabin. I mean, we don't even have a mountain cabin! If we HAD a mountain cabin, it's not in that cave over there, so don't even bother to look for the mountain cabin.
  • Theme Song Reveal: Music from other games play during the fight with Tommy, to remind the listeners that he is not originally in EarthBound.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Paula. Once a season, she does something stupid that gets her killed.
  • Unreliable Narrator: Well, the Narrator. In episode 40 (fittingly titled "The End?"), he claims that Ness was unable to defeat his Nightmare. He, well, did. The Narrator is later revealed to have been Giygas all along. He wouldn't want Ness to have defeated his nightmare, and therefore tries to mislead the audience into thinking such.
  • Verbal Tic: Especially Ness, but also other characters, put the phrase " today" at the end of their sentences... here today.
  • Wham Episode: Debatedly, Episode 38 - "Gentlemen! Behold! We are the Fobbies!".
  • Word Salad Title: The weird title is a mnemonic coined by a forum member to tell the difference between Foppies and Fobbies — "Foppies are pink, and Fobbies are borange." The name stuck after the second episode.


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