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Fanfic / A Very Hairy Situation

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Oh dear, thought Merlin. Arthur's been enchanted again.

A Merlin crackfic of glorious proportions, it is a story of unrequited love, failed communication, exploring sexual orientation, and fabulousness. Essentially, Merlin thinks that Arthur's been enchanted, but as it turns out, it's less due to having had a spell put on him than it is from Gwaine simply being that impossible to resist. Merlin goes to the tavern to get absolutely sloshed, and... more or less succeeds. Hilarity Ensues. The fic can be found here.


This fanfic provides examples of:

  • All Love Is Unrequited: Merlin and Gwen are both in love with Arthur, who is in love with Gwaine, who doesn't love him back. In the past, Gwen had a crush on Merlin, who didn't even notice.
    • All the noblemen who have fallen in love with Gwaine.
  • Childhood Friend Romance: Gwen and Arthur is implied to have been this, since she mentions having known him when he was ten.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Merlin implies that Arthur's love is a girl. Arthur wacks him around the head. Merlin hastily apologizes.
    "Ah, sorry, sorry... a woman."
  • Continuity Nod: Lampshaded. The fic opens with Merlin finding himself in a conversation identical to the one he had when Arthur was enchanted to fall in love with Lady Vivian. He decides to just go with it.
  • Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends: After Gwaine cuts off his hair, Arthur ends up with Merlin. And then Gwaine and Gwen end up together.
  • Crack Fic
  • Cure Your Gays: Implied to be what happened to Lady Vivian. She's the anomaly in a story which uses Cure Your Straights as a plot device.
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  • Cursed With Awesome: Gwaine.
    Being fabulous could be so tiresome sometimes.
  • Dating Do-Si-Do: Of a sort. More of Everyone Falls in Love with Everyone Else. Before the story begins, Gwen had a crush on Merlin, then fell in mutual love with Arthur. Then Arthur and Vivian were enchanted to fall in love with each other, but Arthur got better, and started dating Gwen again. (This is all canon from the show.) The whole time, Gwen's ex-crush Merlin's been in love with her boyfriend Arthur, but Arthur turned him down due to being straight. Then Arthur falls in love with Gwaine (who his sort-of ex Vivian was also in love with at some point). Then Hilarity Ensues, the fic happens, and Gwen's ex-boyfriend Arthur ends up with her ex-crush Merlin and Arthur's ex-girlfriend Gwen ends up with his ex-crush Gwaine.
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  • Even the Guys Want Him: Gwaine.
  • Happily Ever After
  • If It's You, It's Okay: When Merlin points out that Arthur has made it very clear in the past that he's not interested in men.
    "I know what I said," Arthur waved off. "But who could have foreseen that a man of such perfection, of such wondrous beauty, of such glorious hair would come into my life?"
  • Ignored Enamored Underling: Merlin for Arthur.
  • In the Past, Everyone Will Be Famous: The barmaid is the direct ancestor of three Prime Ministers.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Merlin and Arthur initially, Gwen and Merlin (before the story), Gwen and Arthur.
  • Lemony Narrator:
    "That is unfortunate," Merlin intended to say, and from now on, I shall just print his intent and leave poor Gwen's view of the conversation to the imagination.
  • Magic Hair
  • Murder the Hypotenuse: What several exes of Gwaine-infatuated men have attempted.
  • No Bisexuals: Gwaine's hair has the ability to make anyone permanently attracted to men. Note that nothing was said about not being attracted to women. However, Arthur becomes "well and truly homosexual."
    • Also, when Gwen finds out that Merlin is interested in men (nothing is said about exclusivity), she assumes that this is why he was so oblivious to her season 1 crush.
  • Noodle Incident: Upon discovery of Arthur's transferred affections, Gwen does not try to brutally murder Gwaine with nothing but a garlic clove and some grass. This is a relief to Gwaine, as he doesn't want to go through that rather painful experience again (It wouldn't be the second time).
  • Oblivious to Love: Merlin is shocked to learn about Gwen's season 1 crush on him.
  • Oh, No... Not Again!: Gwaine's reaction to finding out that Arthur's in love with him.
  • Only One Name: Lampshaded with Gwaine Whatever-your-last-name-is.
  • Pair the Spares: Gwaine and Gwen. Also to some extent, Merlin and Arthur, since when Arthur turns gay, his acknowledged best friend just conveniently happens to also be gay and in love with him.
  • Suddenly Sexuality: The premise. Before this incident, Arthur had made it very clear to Merlin that he was 100% straight. Subverted in that it seems to be a case of If It's Gwaine, It's Okay. Played Straight and Justified at the end when it turns out he's permanently gay.
    • Lots of people for Gwaine.
    • It's implied that Lady Vivian was lesbian.
  • Translator Buddy: Gwaine for Merlin.
  • The Unintelligible: Merlin, when drunk. The narrator is kind enough to translate for us after a while.
    Merlin: "Hey, that's what I said!"
    Gwen: "Merlin, you really should stop making that noise, you sound like a pig being attacked by a rabid chipmunk."
  • Unusual Euphemism: The barmaid of impressive legacy, among other things.

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