“You should have taken the realm for yourself. It was there for the taking. Jaime told me how you found him on the Iron Throne the day King’s Landing fell, and made him yield it up. That was your moment. All you needed to do was climb those steps, and sit. Such a sad mistake.”
—Cersei Lannister, A Game of Thrones
The Joinery
is an Alternate Universe Fic set in the world of Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire where Ned Stark takes the Iron Throne for himself and ends up married to Cersei Lannister. Though the What If? story ends the same way Ned's life does, the characters take a completely different path centering on the Opposites Attract relationship between Ned and Cersei.
This series provides examples of:
- Arranged Marriage: Ned and Cersei, as well as the marriage of "their" daughter, Myranda to Garlan Tyrell.
- Dating Catwoman: Prominent hero Ned is married to one of the main villains, Cersei.
- Dead Guy Junior: Ned and Cersei's first child, Brandon, is named after Ned's late brother.
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Fandom-Specific Plot: The basis of this story (Ned taking the throne and marrying Cersei instead of Robert) is a pretty popular one among Ned/Cersei fan fiction. The only other common plot that comes close is Cersei turning out to be the mother of Ned's bastard, Jon.
- Good Is Not Dumb: Ned, despite his Honor Before Reason tendencies. He makes a good king because is knows how to avoid the pitfalls Robert allowed himself to fall into, such as sinking the realm into debt and borrowing money from Tywin.
- Honest Advisor: Jon Arryn, though Ned doesn't want to believe what him when it comes to Cersei and the paternity of their children.
- Hypocrite: Cersei reacts poorly when Ned tries to bring his bastard son, Jon Snow to court, so Jon is sent to Winterfell instead. But as in canon, she has no problems keeping her own bastards around and lying about their true parentage.
- In Spite of a Nail: The story warns from the start that Jon Arryn and Ned will die the same way, resulting in a Succession Crisis, to be known as The War of Three Kings. Though the inciting incident is the assassination of Ned and Cersei's firstborn son.
- Let No Crisis Go to Waste: Tywin uses the death of Prince Brandon to depose and execute Ned, leaving the second Prince (actually Jaime's son with Cersei) to ascend the Iron Throne. With Tywin's daughter as Queen and himself as the new Hand of the King, the Lannisters are now effectively the rulers of Westeros.Jaime: As Balon Greyjoy might say, had the salty bastard a lick of humor, best to strike while the iron is hot?
- Murder the Hypotenuse: Catelyn is killed by Tywin Lannister to make way for his daughter Cersei to marry Ned and become queen.
- Opposites Attract: There's no way the honorable Ned would ever be happy with the manipulative and treacherous Cersei, right?
- Perfectly Arranged Marriage: After a rocky start, Ned and Cersei eventually come to love each other, though it doesn't help the situation.
- Real Men Love Jesus: Ned is devoted to the Old Gods, despite the pressure of being in the south where they worship the Faith of the Seven.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Implied that Tywin bought his daughter a crown. He later turns the City Watch and the Kingsguard on Ned.
- Spared by the Adaptation: Lyanna Stark does not die and is married to Robert as intended. She's not happy with him.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Like Arya Stark, Ned and Cersei's daughter Elaena is a tomboy who cares more for learning to fight than for being a princess.
- What If?: The whole premise of the story is: What if Ned took the throne instead of Robert and married Cersei?
