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Comic Book / The Technopriests

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The Technopriests is an eight-issue miniseries by Alejandro Jodorowsky and Zoran Janjetov as part of the Metabarons Universe. The series recounts the history of Albino, who rose from being the unwanted son of a cheese magnate to become Supreme Technopriest.

This series contains examples of:

  • An Arm and a Leg: This being a Jodorowsky comic, there is naturally an amputee or two in the cast.
    • Don Massimo, the head of the Techno Pre-School, lost both of his legs as a punishment for stealing from the Technopriests.
    • One of Albino's classmates at Nohope loses both of his feet for trying to escape.
    • After the entrance exam for Nohope, every student except Albino loses their left hand as a punishment for failing to best Albino. According to the instructor Merodak, losing a body part is the standard consequence for failing any of the tests. Merodak himself, it should be noted, is a cyborg with only 20% of his original body remaining.
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  • Artistic License – Biology: Almagro, Albino, and Onyx somehow manage to be triplets despite having three different fathers.
  • Ascended Extra: Ulritch was previously mentioned in Metabarons as a former client of Aghnar, the second Metabaron during his days as a mercenary.
  • Attempted Rape: After a massive brute wins the contest to become Onyx's husband, Ulritch tells him to consummate the marriage immediately, but the consummation is interrupted by Thark's coup.
  • Child by Rape: Albino, Almagro, and Onyx were all born as a result of Panepha's gang-rape at the hands of Ulritch the Red and his band of pirates.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Quite a few characters engage in this, but it is most evident with Tinigrifi.
  • Drill Sergeant Nasty: Merodak, the cyborg technotrainer, introduces himself to Albino and his classmates by telling them how he will break all of them.
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  • Expy: St. Severo bears a strong resemblance to Cabot-Chadday from Megalex, a white-haired mystic Big Good who turns out to be The Atoner who was originally responsible creating the oppressive, technocratic system the protagonists are fighting against.
  • Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Averted; Panepha agrees to pull strings so that Albino can become a Technopriest and create video games, if only because doing so allows her to cut him off from the family.
  • Fusion Dance: Tinigrifi and Albino undergo this near the end of final issue. Due to his abstract existence, Albino is not allowed to set foot on the Promised Land, resigned to spending the rest of his life on the ship. Tinigrifi suggests that they fuse into a singular being in order to bypass the barrier, expressing his love and loyalty to Albino.
  • Jerkass: Almargo. Of course. Definitely Almargo.
  • The Good King: Thark is this to a desert swamp planet of Kaliva but were opposed by the elders, who were horrified with emancipation, female literacy, and increased quality of life for commoners. They then decided to poison their own god, who was controlled by Panepha and Onyx's children, whose death caused a massive revolt by the religious public.
  • Groin Attack: Panepha has vowed to castrate all three of the men who raped her.
    • Ulritch is the first, losing his genitals after Almagro overthrows him. Thark allows him to commit suicide afterwards.
    • Thark's species can retract their testicles, allowing him to face castration with no long-term penalties.
    • Erghen had already sacrificed his gentials to his "god".
  • Heel–Face Turn: By the third issue, Thark was a different person from his time as a ruthless pirate that once partook in forceful sex upon Panepha.
  • Heel–Faith Turn: A dark version, Erghen became a head of a cult on a ice planet where he accepted castration and the eventual role of being fed to the "god".
  • Marital Rape License: After Gorth expresses his desire to marry Onyx, Ulritch the Red decides that he'll hold a tournament to determine who gets her hand in marriage. After the brutish Oso wins, Ulritch encourages him to rape Onyx right then and there.
  • Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Panepha's mistreatment of Onyx comes back to bite her in the ass when Onyx discovers that she's the daughter of a pirate lord.
  • Non-Human Sidekick: Albino's lifelong friend Tinigrifi, which is a sentient, talking pocket-sized critter resembling a mix between a squirrel and mouse.
  • Parental Favoritism: Panepha makes no secret of the fact that she favors Almagro over Albino and Onyx.
  • Rape as Backstory: Panepha was originally a priestess who was supposed to become an oracle, but was gang-raped by Ulritch the Red, Thark the Gray, and Erghen the White, after which she was disowned by her order and left to die in the ruins of her temple.
  • Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: As they navigate the three pirates, Panepha, Almagro, and Onyx keep working against each other, and it doesn't end well for any of them.
  • Sissy Villain: Almagro, Albno's cruel half-brother, sleeps under his mother's bed and whines when Gorth recounts how Panepha was raped.
  • Space Jews: Neklah, one of Albino's classmates at Nohope, has a stereotypical Jewish appearance and is describes as a "miser".
  • Took a Level in Kindness: After many tribulations on their quest to avenge the pirates, Panepha and Thark became more benevolent near the end of the series and even kind to Albino, who had become a Technopriest.
  • Tongue Trauma: Onyx bites off her own tongue in order to spit it at her would-be rapist. Though it was healed after Ultrafem transplanted with Gorth's tongue
  • The Unfavorite: Onyx, with her red skin and four arms, is rejected by her mother and forced to live with the family's mutant slaves.
  • Undying Loyalty: Tinigrifi and Albino remain loyal friends and companions their whole lives. In the end, Tinigrifi ignores Albino's order to remain with other colonists of the Promised Land and leave him on the ship, instead suggesting they fuse into a singular being, expressing how he always wanted to become a part of Albino.
  • White Sheep: Pun not intended, Albino could be seen as this to the entire Technoclergy. While they worship science and encourage greed, cruelty, materialism and hatred of all things natural, Albino becomes something of a Messiah that champions love, compassion, and living in harmony with nature.

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