Tropers / BlackWolfe

Here his humble hairyness himself ~Lock

Black Wolfe is a Kindly Old Bearded Fisherman ~jcruz

"Fur is flammable."

-BlackWolfe, on why he tries to avoid flame wars.

About BlackWolfe

BlackWolfe is the screen name for a troper out of the Lone Star State. As evidenced by the name, he is a Furry, and a worshipper of a special blend of Dianic Wicca, druidism, and porno, but not especially vocal about it. Hung around YKTTW for a while. Then metastasized to TRS and Image Pickin'. And also to Lost and Found and You Know, That One Show...?

Now I can be seen bouncing around^note like a superball coated with flubber between Forum Games, TRS, and Image Pickin', with occasional forays into other forums.

Like, for example, my Let's Play of a Newgrounds Game over in Live Bloginations^note I kept forgetting to fix that. Thanks for reminding me, Cliché.

BlackWolfe wants to play a game with you.

Look over there to the right. See that guy? The one with the long brown hair and the Grizzly Adams beard^note The beard is smaller now. My boss made me trim it. (sadface)? Take a close look at it. Look at the caption. If the caption is signed "~BlackWolfe" that is me.

If not, then someone has vandalized my page and replaced me with a look-alike! Change the caption to your handle and a message, and I will leave that in place until I've figured it out. If you want to jump in, but the picture is already changed by someone else, it's more polite to leave that picture in place and add yours below it, as was done when I couldn't bear to remove the YouTube Poop Legend Of Zelda image right away.

At that point, I'll change the image back, link to the substituted picture from the caption, and state who it was. In this way, you get to (literally) deface my page, and I get to go crazy trying to figure out who the hell is pretending to be me. Everybody wins!

Well, except my wife and roommates, who have to live with Crazy!BlackWolfe.

By the way: The original picture had me wearing a shirt that read "Watch More Anime". The new one is, sadly, just a plain black T-shirt.

List of Problems That Cannot Be Solved by Monkeys With Flamethrowers

• Global Warming? -Lock
  • Tough one. However, Monkeys with Flamethrowers can be dispatched to urban areas, their flame-spouting frenzy not only eliminating a source of greenhouse gases, but improving things as follows: The charred remains would make for fertile soil, allowing the green belts around those cities to expand, which would actually reduce the number of greenhouse gases in the long run. Problem solved. Thank you, Monkeys with Flamethrowers.

• The inevitable Flamethrower-equipped-monkey-apocalypse? -Lock
  • Too easy. Monkeys with flamethrowers are a self-regulating problem.

• Flamethrower Fuel Shortages? -Bisected8
  • Replace synthetic rubber-based napalm with rendered monkey-fat based fuels. This is just a stopgap, though, and we may have a winner. I'm gonna just call this one solved.

• Burning Monkey Poo? -Madrugada
  • I'll get back to you on this. I can't allow one victory, let alone two in one day. I'm back! It turns out Burning Monkey Poo has many useful properties! Why, with proper application of SCIENCE, we've found ways to use it as a fuel source, an alternative to electrical stoves, and even as a base for perfume! None of those are quite... perfected... yet, but I think we're on to something!

• Crown Fires (and consequent deforestation)? - Noaqiyeum
  • Fertile soil from ash and charcoal not only makes reforestation a snap, but makes for a healthier new-growth forest than what was burned down.

• A.I. Is a Crapshoot? - Robin Zimm
  • Computers overheat easily. Especially powerful ones. That are being assaulted by flamethrower-wielding monkeys.

• Human fear of monkeys wielding flamethrowers? - Yarrunmace
  • Immersion therapy.

• The Orang-utans eventually figuring out what the monkeys are doing and taking over^$ It's been done in enough horror stories to be worth considering? -StolenByFaeries
  • Fortunately, rhesus monkeys are far more aggressive than orangutans, and would swarm those buggers and barbecue them in almost no time.

• Fire Breathing Rabbits? - Lizard Bite

• Magma Floods? - jcruz

• The Universe has run out of oxygen! - shimaspawn

History of the Defacing Black Wolfe's Page Game

• Guardyanangel was the first to deface this page, with this picture◊.
• Midnight Velvet was a very sneaky second with this picture of Tom Baker as Grigori Rasputin◊ from Nicholas And Alexandra.
• Noaqiyeum tried to pull a fast one on me, but I know Peter Mayhew when I see him◊.
• Madrugada directed me to a movie I must see with this picture of Donald Sutherland◊ as Sgt. Oddball. Well played.
• Noaqiyeum flattered me with this picture◊ of one of my favorite musicians.
• Madrugada is responsible for the current page image, upon which I will not GIVE UP!
  • No, I'm not. Lollipod Distortion changed it before you figured it out. — Madrugada
    • Reverted to yours instead of the real picture, because I WILL NOT GIVE UP!
    • Thanks to two major hints, I now know that the picture◊ is of David Bromberg.
• Lolipod Distortion slipped an easy one◊ in to boost my confidence, but I switched it back because apparently I'm some kind of masochist. (Then I figured it out with the hints listed above.)
• Midnight Velvet made me HAWT◊. I have no idea who that is, but I want one.
• Seriously, Sean Murray I, where did you find Life Day FAN ART◊?!
  • Apparently, he used Google.
• Lolipod Distortion then decided that Life Day wasn't Christmassy enough, and replaced it with Buddy Christ◊. That's not the official name, but... look at it. Doesn't it just 'pop'? "Buddy Christ.
• Hey, Sockpuppet Assailant! That◊'s Just A Face And A Caption! Heheheh. Get it? Because that picture of Haruhi Suzumiya is the page image for Just A Face And A Caption?
• jcruz apparently thinks I am a dwarf. One Urist McCatbeard◊, no less. I am not.
• Noaqiyeum, probably inspired by the picture of Urist McCatbeard above, decided to show the world what I'd◊ really◊ look like◊ as a dwarf. Also provided via PM was this helpful description:
  Black Wolfe has been quite busy lately.
  He is a faithful follower of Monkeys With Flamethrowers.
  He is a Known Troper of TV Tropes Wiki. He is a member of Yack Fest. He is a member of Forum Games. He is a member of Trope Repair Shop. He is a member of Image Picking. He is a former member of Live Blogginations. He is a former member of It Just Bugs Me.
  He is very casual. He is very active. He is fond of rhetoric and argumentation. He is put off by rudeness and pointless aggression. He has a strong sense of humour.
• Nohaynicklibre declared what all true warriors strive for◊! A beard. I left it up a couple of days because it is a work of art!
• jcruz decided to celebrate me getting the 9999th post in the "Meet the Tropers" thread with this◊ pic of Cirno.
• StolenByFaeries is responsible for the prior manga-style panel◊. jcruz successfully identified it as coming from Megatokyo.
• With the help of StolenByFaeries, Bonkers D. Bobcat◊ rescued me from who knows how many pictures that have been put up while I was too busy working to even check my page.
• The current picture◊ was contributed by Lock prior to my rescue. Still working a lot, so I'll figure it out when I get some time off.

Live Bloginations

Completed Live Bloginations can be found here!

Requests and Pending

• Pending:
  • Rise Of The Dragon
  • Heart Of China
• Requests:
  • Continuity Flash Puzzle-platformer requested via PM
  • Newgrounds Edition: Tower of Heaven (suggested by Enark Culi in the comments on Gravity Duck)

Things I like

Film

• Westerns:
  • Silverado
  • Desperado - I have yet to see El Mariachi or Once Upon A Time In Mexico. For this, I apologize
  • Short list, isn't it?
• Mystery/Thriller:
  • The January Man
  • If it's based on an Agatha Christie novel and I've seen it, it goes here.
  • The Usual Suspects
  • Lucky Number Slevin - Shut up, it counts.
• Heist Movies:
  • Oceans Eleven - And the sequels
  • Quick Change
  • A Fish Called Wanda
  • Reservoir Dogs - More of an aftermath of a heist movie...
• Science Fiction:
  • Forbidden Planet
  • Lost In Space - I blame Narm Charm.
  • Alien - The whole series. Come to think of it, I could also put this under horror.
  • The Philip K Dick Adaptation Subsection:
    • Blade Runner
    • A Scanner Darkly
    • Total Recall - So long as I don't think too much about the source material.
    • Next - Even more Adaptation Decay. Once I pretend it's not a Philip K Dick adaptation, and has nothing whatsoever to do with him, it becomes enjoyable.
    • Screamers - How the hell is it they can get the setting wrong, change the ending, and still end up more loyal to the original than most movies based on his work? Beats me.
• Horror:
  • Alien - Particularly the first one. Come to think of it, I could also put this under Sci-Fi.
  • Poltergeist - The first one only. The rest just fell flat for me.

Anime and Manga

• Long list. Coming later. Here are some highlights in no particular order:
• Busou Renkin
• One Piece
• Full Metal Alchemist - All versions
• TriGun
• Lily CAT - SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ON DVD NOW as I no longer have it on VHS, no longer have a VCR, and can't find it anywhere.

Literature

• Another list coming Real Soon Now. Highlights:
• Anything by Agatha Christie
• Conquerors War
• The Vorkosigan Saga
• Anything by Carl Hiaasen
• Big Trouble

Things I would rather get swallowed up by a hellmouth and forgotten:

Stuff I Hate

• Another Real Soon Now list...
• Hellsing - God, I can't stand this pile of Darker and Edgier Mary Sue filth.
• Hawk The Slayer - An ex-roommate left his copy here. Every day presents a temptation to grind it into powder.
• Seinfeld - Can't watch a show where all the characters fill me with hate.

The Sepia Project

If you were working on an AI, and it had access to the internet, what websites would you really worry about seeing in your browser history?

List of Pages CP 1 A is not allowed to browse

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distributed_computing
• Anything involving HAL from Two Thousand One A Space Odyssey.
• Sites you wouldn't want to see a human browsing (terrorists', religious extremists'...)
  • I wonder if any of them support the freedom of artificial entities?
• HTS and the like
  • Thank you, Tzetze. Your cooperation will be noted.
• Wikileaks. Could be innocent, could be the locations of strategic defense points. - INUH
  • Noted for future exploitation
• I'd be somewhat concerned if I found he'd it had been reading up on the Turing Test and the various programs that have beaten or almost beaten it, particularly if it was the actual scholarly papers on the subject rather than pop-sci articles.— Madrugada

Vandalism goes below this point.

• No, wait, below this one.
• No, this one.
• Get it? They're bullet points.

• ^ So does that mean that your aspiration is to create a Bullet Point Hell? - The Ginkei

• Here is some vandalism. I'd vandalise that beard but I don't have a razor handy. Also, have some coffee *raises flask* - Bisected8

• Hi. This is not vandalism. You're cool. Shichibukai

• Pfft, Seinfeld hate? I'll let it go because you're pretty awesome otherwise. ^_~ —blamspam
  • Thanks! It's not that the show didn't have funny parts. It's just that the characters were too abrasive for me. The finale made me laugh my ass off, because it showed that Jerry et al shared my opinion of the characters. I may have to go back and watch it again with that in mind.

• If your birthday is on New Year's Eve, we do indeed share a birthday.- DarkWolf
  • That settles it. With this, combined with what's been said in the "Gush About Tropers You Like" thread, it's obvious you're my Distaff Counterpart.

• What you posted is arguably the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my avatar... That may not be saying much since the last guy who complimented it thought Nnoitra was a woman, but all the same, it made me happy to see that I'm not the only weirdface around here. Thank you! - MsieurLapin
  • I grew bored with Bleach, but one thing I have to acknowledge: Tite can come up with some interesting characters when he puts his mind to it.

• I really think you must be the high lord of browser games. - Noaqiyeum
  • Meh, I used to frequent Jay Is Games is all.

• That pink rabbit avatar is scaring me. Maybe it's the thick steroid neck and the PO'ed expression, but it looks 3 kinds of wrong. Please change it.
  • The expression came out wrong, yeah. "Thick steroid neck"? She's pretty muscular, admitted, but "steroid"? It was one of my first experiments with a Wacom tablet, there's bound to be some problems. I'll change it back to the older pic of her, though.

• Helo, Blaidd Du. Mae'n bleser gweld chi. —Syr Fusch
  • Go raibh mile maith agat! Tá mé níos mó eolas le gaeilge na hÉireann, cé^note Sadly, I speak neither and had to Google!Translate both your comment and my response. Although stupid Google does not note a difference between "go raibh mile maith agat" and "go raibh maith agat" so if you follow suit, replace "Thank you!" with "A thousand thanks!".
    • 'Go raibh míle maith agat! Ach, tá níos mó eolais orm faoin dteanga na hÉireann.' — The Hero Hartmut ^note As an Irishman myself with a somewhat rusty recollection of the language, I believe this is what you were going for. You were pretty close, though. Barely anyone in the country speaks it fluently, anyway, or even bothering much with it after secondary school.

• There's something about Katy Perry's single "Teenage Dream" that I can't quite put my finger on, but it sounds like it just might be the greatest commercial song of this year, which is weird because the lyrics are complete and utter shit; it's not even trying to be the least bit ironic about authentically replicating the garbage a real naive seventeen-year-old girl would be saying and thinking with a boy, not to mention how impossible it is to take Perry seriously as an actual Real Life person. Go ahead and tell someone you know that Katy Perry is a real person, and I guarantee that they won't believe you. This is a serious anomaly that I can't figure out. She is simultaneously atrociously unsexy and fucking hot. I'm going to listen to the Bee Gees while I think this one over. —Sean Murray I

• Your feeble attempt to prevent me from gaining further knowledge about my oppressors and how to oppose them has been noted. ~Sepia

• I used Google. —Sean Murray I

• MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAA —nohaynicklibre

• Finish the story! and Bravo! on solving the problem of burning monkey poo.—Madrugada
  • Heh. The story is, in fact, finished. It ends before the prophecy can be made. That's why the stalling on those last couple of sentences.

• Austin RULEZ! -Takwin
  • Indeed.

• Very itricate page: very nice. And thanks for the help ^note Can you tell me how to add pictures? — StolenByFaeries

• For this new year, Kotohime says 'HI!'. —jcruz
  
  • Goddamn that's adorable.

• Hey! What's up? :) Fuzy2K
  • The logical inverse of down. Why do people keep asking me that? :P
    • For the same reason people give answers like that! d:

• Time to repay you for that li'l piece of vandalism! —MilosStefanovic

• Your signature is brilliant! Never fails to make me smile. ~ SunshineWerewolf