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Series: The Fast Show

'Suit you, sir!'

British sketch-based show in The Nineties. One of the best British comedies of the decade.

Lots of regular characters, and lots of regular catchphrases. "Suit you, Sir", "Does my bum look big in this?", "I'll get me coat" (which was used a lot on Outpost Gallifrey), "I'm a little bit wooh, a little bit waaay", "...which was nice", "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk" and so on. Singlehandedly added several Stock British Phrases to the language.

According to creator Paul Whitehouse, the show's format was inspired by when he was working on Harry Enfield and Chums and made a five-minute reel of highlight clips (mostly sketch punchlines) to send to the BBC to be used in previews - he then decided that "character comes on, someone shouts 'ARSE!', bang, next sketch!" was actually funnier than the usual sketch buildup, and created a show around that format (hence "fast").

Probably the best known celebrity fan of the show is Johnny Depp, who allegedly kept trying to insert its catchphrases into the Pirates of the Caribbean films.


This TV show provides examples of:

  • The Ace: Monkfish, who has been a tough, uncompromising detective, a tough, uncompromising doctor and a tough, uncompromising vet amongst other things. He even got an adaptation on Channel 9 called "MOOOOOOOOOOOONKFISSSSSCH!".
  • Affectionate Parody: Jazz Club, of 'Whispering' Bob Harris of the Old Grey Whistle Test, and artsy late night music show Later with Jools Holland... Great. Wonderful.
    • Arthur Atkinson is a (mostly) affectionate parody of Arthur Askey.
    • As is narrator Tommy Cockles of Denis Norden
    • Ron Manager was very much an affectionate parody of Jimmy Hill.
  • Armour Piercing Question: Parodied in a set of sketches where a criminal played by Mark Williams is subjected to Perp Sweating with no success, only for a George Smiley expy to turn up and ask him a question in an innocuous tone that leads to him accidentally revealing everything. "Aha!" "...Shit!"
  • As Long as It Sounds Foreign: Played for Laughs with Channel 9 TV. Scorchio!
    Ethethethethetheth, ethehethethetheth, ethethetheth, Chris Waddle!
    Buono Estenté. Elácrimos y sputá é fálio ming di pucco-poco wikhjawikh pátandara Milio Pátagonia.
  • Banana Republic: The country that produces Channel 9 (only identified as 'Repubblica') was eventually shown to be one.
  • Beam Me Up, Scotty!: "Suits you, sir!" was never ever said; the line was always "Suit you, sir!"
  • Berserk Button: Johnny Nice Painter is a perfectly harmless man painting watercolours (and apparently narrating them for a tv show) right up to the moment he happens to mention the colour black. Then he quickly sinks into depressive darkness leading to insane ranting and smashing things.
  • British Accents: essential to many characters, especially the Cockney criminal.
  • British Stuffiness: combined with UST in the "Ted and Ralph" sketches.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Rowley Birkin QC actually is a retired barrister. Given how Queen's Counsel members are elicted on merit, this suggests that, for all his eccentricities and drunkenness, he was an incredibly good one.
  • Butt Monkey: Chester Drawers is that to Arthur Atkinson in the Show Within The Show.
  • California Doubling: the "Shore Leave" song, supposedly in New York, is clearly filmed in Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
  • Catch Phrase/Mad Libs Catch Phrase: Millions. Some characters are only even named by their catchphrases.
    • The Suit You Tailors: "Oh, suit you sir!" "Were you out with a lady last night sir?" "Did she want it, sir?"
    • Rowley Birkin QC: Variations on "...and I freely admit I was vey, vey drunk"
    • The Off-Roaders: "Let's off-road!"
    • Billy Bleach: "There's someone sitting there, mate."
    • Chanel 9: "Bono estente" ('Hello'), "Boutros-Boutros Ghali" (Goodbye, among other things), "Ethethethetheth, ethethetheth", "Chris Waddle" and "Scorchio".
    • The Insecure Woman: "Does my bum look big in this?"
    • Jazz Club: "Nice". "Great".
    • Mr Nice: "...Which was nice."
    • Jesse: "This week, I are been mostly (verb)ing..."
    • Brilliant Kid: "Int X brilliant?!" (His dad has "Int X rubbish?!")
    • 13th Duke of Wybourne: "Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? In (place)? With my reputation? Are they mad?"
    • Ed Winchester: "Hi, I'm Ed Winchester!"
    • Swiss Toni: "(Verb)ing a (noun), Paul, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman..."
    • Ron Manager: Variations on "Football, eh? Little boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts...marvellous."
    • Johnny Nice Painter: "...Black? Black! BLACK! (goes off into insane rant)
    • Simon Day's high-rise builder character: "I can't do the accent" (before proceeding to do an excellent job at imitating a completely different accent) and variations on "Was he F--"
    • Monkfish: "You! Put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea!"
  • The Character Died with Him: Taggart`s use of this trope (continuing for years after the title character died with his actor) is parodied in "The Last Fast Show Ever", when Monkfish actor John Actor dies, only to be given a new show: "John Actor plays a tough, uncompromising, dead Scottish detective in MCMONKFISH!"
  • Couch Gag: In the first series, each episode starts with Paul Whitehouse as cabaret singer "Kenny Valentine" singing "Release Me" while something different happens to him, usually his face or body being distorted by visual effects. On one occasion he was even briefly transformed into "Jenny Valentine".
  • Country Matters: "Country Matters" is the name of a farming programme whose hosts have unfortunately suggestive Verbal Tics. The title is presumably not accidental.
  • Cowboy Cop: Monkfish starts out as a parody of this trope, before (presumably due to "John Actor" being typecast) applying the same attitude to other jobs in other shows he appears in.
  • Curse Cut Short: The main joke in the sketches where Simon Day and Mark Williams play builders on a high-rise—all the sketches end on something like "And was he? Was he F-"
  • Drinking Game: Ted and his friends in the "Ted and Ralph" sketches have one which involves saying the name of a different vegetable before every word. See Mood Whiplash below.
  • Everything Is an Instrument: Bob Fleming and friends perform The Wild Rover.
  • Gratuitous English and Inherently Funny Words - Channel 9, and Rowley Birkin QC ("Poisonous Monkeys!")
  • Handsome Lech: The 13th Duke of Wybourne.
  • I Coulda Been a Contender: In a documentary about the show, Harry Enfield acted as an exaggerated, bitter version of himself complaining about how "I CREATED THEM!!" and now The Fast Show is more popular than his own show.
  • Insistent Terminology: Monkfish is always a "tough, uncompromising..." whatever occupation he's playing in his latest show, regardless of whether this makes sense or not.
  • Jizzed in My Pants: Sorry, I've just cum
  • Just Like Making Love: Swiss Toni delivering his catchphrase is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...
  • Le Film Artistique: Subverted to humourous effect in this clip.
  • Looks Like Orlok: "Monster, monster!"
  • Lost In Transmission: About nine tenths of everything Rowley Birkin says, thanks to his half-sober mumbling.
  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: Most of the catchphrases were like this.
  • Mood Whiplash: Quite frequent in some of the longer running sketches.
    Rowley Birkin: "mumble mumble....she passed away in my arms...mumble mumble....I'm afraid I was very, very drunk." very much a departure from his other sketches which all ended comedically.
  • Mushroom Samba: The Offroaders, on a survival expedition, go half-arsed on the survival part and agree to a compromise by ordering a plain pizza but will top it with the wild mushrooms they have just found. Next time we see them, one of them is tripping out, referring to himself as "The Mushroom God".
  • My Local: setting of many sketches, especially the Pub Bore.
  • Narration Echo: Done in a one-off documentary-style sketch with Arabella Weir as a marine biologist. After the narrator has echoed her a few times, they accidentally talk over each other and get into an argument where he starts insulting her.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Jazz Club features a Nigel Kennedy lookalike, and a character called Jeremy Kwee singing about chocolate on his Ferrari, who in no way resembles Jamiroquai.
    • Jazz Club's host's voice was also inspired by that of radio DJ "Whistling" Bob Harris.
  • Noble Bigot with a Badge: Monkfish. Upon arriving at a crime scene, he tells the widow of the deceased to "put your knickers on and go make me a cup of tea!"
  • Non-Specifically Foreign: Chanel 9
  • Overly-Long Gag:
  • Paintball Episode: played for laughs as the Off-Roaders are supposed to be useless at all the extreme sports they try.
  • The Parody: The films of Guy Ritchie, such as Snatch ("It's a Right Royal Cockney Barrel of Monkeys"), the musical On the Town ("Shore Leave") and the classic movie Whiskey Galore ("Heroin Galore").
    • The aforementioned Le Film Artistique entry is a parody of a similar scene from Le Mepris.
  • Positive Discrimination: Subverted with the Insecure Woman, and an incomprehensible Jive Turkey.
  • Promoted Fanboy: Johnny Depp appeared in one of the "Suit you, sir!" sketches. (If you want to do this, it helps to be Johnny Depp.)
  • Pun: "...which was Nice" became this when used to describe flying into a particular French airport.
  • Real Song Theme Tune: An instrumental version of "Release Me".
  • Running Gag: Very many within the sketches, and also a few that crossed over between different ones, such as "Cheesey Peas" (which started out as 'an advertisement for Northern types before getting a Chanel 9 version, a posh version, being mentioned in Brilliant Kid's rambling monologue, etc.)
  • Ship Tease: In the Fast Show Live with Ted & Ralph.
  • Sketch Comedy
  • Spin-Off: Lots, though none have ever matched the popularity of the original.
    • Ted and Ralph got their own one-off drama to wrap up loose ends (which also featured Rowley Birkin as a barrister).
    • Swiss Toni got a short-lived sitcom on BBC 3 with Simon Day's alcoholic businessman character incorporated into his staff.
    • Billy Bleach got his own show, Grass.
    • Brilliant Kid had a popular milk advertising campaign ("Int milk brilliant?!")
    • The Suit You Sir tailors have advertised both Holsten Pils beer and the mobile phone store Phones 4U.
    • Simon Day played a version of his 'Dave Angel, Eco-warrior' character (but without the costume) for a series of bookend idents for a power company sponsoring ITV Weather. Dave Angel and Billy Bleach both appeared on Day's 2011 radio sitcom The Simon Day Show.
    • Ron Manager and the other characters in his sketches hosted (in-character) a short-lived Sky One sports-themed Panel Game, Jumpers For Goalposts.
    • Insecure Woman became Jackie Payne, the heroine of Arabella Weir's novel Does My Bum Look Big In This?
  • Talks like a Simile: Swiss Toni. Always the same simile, too:
    Swiss Toni: Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriageway, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. Pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
    • Though when he had a nervous breakdown he descended into Metaphorgotten:
    Swiss Toni: Answering the phone, Paul, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You...pick up...the receiver...speak loudly and clearly...oh, and always state your name...(To himself) You're losing it, Toni...
  • Team Dad: Parodied/exaggerated with Competitive Dad.
  • Tourettes Shitcock Syndrome: Jed Thomas ARSE!
  • Write Who You Know:
    • Simon Day admits to basing "Competitive Dad" on a man he saw at a public swimming pool, who challenged his children to a race and then swam away at top speed leaving them to struggle behind him.
    • This inspiration formed part of the very last Competitive Dad sketch, where we see a video recording of Competitive Dad's own father doing it to him as a child.
    • Rowley Birkin QC was based on a similarly incomprehensible (English) person Paul Whitehouse met in Iceland - although his style also owes something to ventriloquist Ray Alan's puppet Lord Charles.
    • One of Arabella Weir's characters is a woman who suggests something to a group of arguing men, only for them to totally ignore her and hear the suggestion as though one of them had made it. This, as Whitehouse and Higson wryly realised on reading the first sketch, was her commentary on how they tended to treat her in script meetings.
    • Insecure Woman was suggested to Weir by the others, based on herself.
    • Swiss Toni was apparently based on several different real car salesmen.
    • The Suit You Tailors were based on a real person, but oddly enough, a bank manager rather than a tailor.

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alternative title(s): The Fast Show
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