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Star Control II: Go on, ask the Slylandro about their glowy bits when you meet them on their homeworld...
Many of the quotes from the Marathon Trilogy. An example: "By the way, I had an accident with some defense drones while you were away. You might bump into a few of them here. Don't worry, they're mostly harmless; I don't think I gave them any ammunition for those grenade launchers."
The screams that the BOBs make when you burn them, or other players. Funnier because Bungie encouraged players to murder the people that you were supposed to be saving.
Also, 8-Player Co-op in a game meant for one person? When it's not a ridiculous and hilarious amount of carnage, it's pure awesomeness. Why did they get rid of 8-Player Co-op?
Midnight Club: Los Angeles has one. Equip a motorcycle with the Aggro special ability, activate it, and start plowing into traffic. The result is so absurd it's hilarious.
Using Aggro in a 1983 Volkswagen GTI, or any car that doesn't weigh two tons in real life, tends to elicit the same result.
Using the EMP ability on a rival tends to elicit some... spirited responses...
Well, one of the racers is crazy, but then again, it makes that racer all the more hilarious to hear screaming like crazy.
Also, you'll wonder why the Roar ability can't be done in real life. It would make driving in the real LA much more pleasurable...
Dr. Fred: "I think I made myself perfectly clear. Step One: Find Plans. Step Two: Save World. Step Three: Get Out Of My House! Now let's get cracking!"
Bernard puts a hamster in the deep freeze for Laverne to recover in the future. She revives the hamster in a microwave oven, while Breaking the Fourth Wall to tell us that kids who try this in real life are taken away.
Every one of Daniel's lines in the first chapter of Dark Waters (and most lines in later chapters) are pretty hilarious. Especially the responses when Heather demands that he give her his belt so that she can construct a device to allow her to go rescue the player.
And in the second chapter, the sequence after a male player who has expressed romantic interest in Heather encounters her memories of Kendra (whose memories have been implanted into her) cheating on Conley (whose memories have been implanted into the player) with Sheridan (whose memories have been implanted into Daniel), in which you reassure Heather on how certain you are that she isn't going to jump into bed with Daniel.
Most of the elven psychic duelists. Especially the Elfinatrix, whose nickname was intended to be intimidating and ended up working too well (she can't get any dates), and the woman who was famed for killing an entire pirate raiding crew with a dull spoon.
The regular ending of the OHRRPGCE game Arfenhouse 3, specifically the first half. The heroes finally remember they were supposed to stop a comet from hitting the Earth, but only when it's too late. The cast patiently awaits their doom... only for the Earth itself to dodge the comet at the last moment.
In Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3 ,Naruto can go on 'dates' with other characters if he gives them certain items in Ultimate Contest mode. Nothing can beat him going to the hot springs with Rock Lee: all Naruto says is 'Ahhh', and then Lee later suggesting they should do it again sometime.
The first Nintendo 64 Mystical Ninja game had quite a lot of funny moments. Goemon finds out that Wiseman built robots for the bad guys in exchange for car magazines; this is made even funnier when Wiseman finds out that they blew up his house, including his collection of magazines. (They were porn magazines in the Japanese version.)
The game's climatic...musical number, "Gorgeous My Stage". Yes, this performance was actually the villains' master plan all along.
Yae: "Wait a minute, Wise Man, how do you know all this?"
Wizkid was bizarre, no two ways about it, but the funniest moment had to be when the clue to the next level exit was found by going to the toilet. Which made the volcano fart rocks.
The ending of System Shock 2. The Big Bad offers to bargain with the Soldier after he defeats it, offering him even more power if he will join it, Darth Vader style. "Naah." *click* *BLAM*
Gears of War: "Delta Squad is in your house, bitch! You hear that shit?! You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way down — dead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skanky-ass queen! Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us! Fuck you! We gonna whup your momma's ass! Woo!"]]
Pretty much a good 1/3-to-1/2 of Cole's lines are funny.
(The group is trying to outrun a wall of debris inside the Riftworm)
Cole: God-DAMN, this thing can eat!!
Pretty much the entire scene after killing the Riftworm:
Baird: "Oh, God. This...this is wrong. I'm coughin' up blood that ain't mine!"
Marcus: "Control, this is Delta. We just... we just... oh, hell, I don't know where to begin. Just pick us up."
Dom and Marcus are locked out of a heavy security door by an AI demanding proper access. Baird improvises an explosive solution, and Dom and Marcus haul it back.
Niles: "Welcome back. Do you now have proper identification?"
Marcus: "Oh, yeah. We've got plenty of identification for you." *BOOM!*
Shingen Takeda, snarky old man of Samurai Warriors, has many wonderful lines in his stories ("Very well, I'll have my people contact your people, and we'll stab each other over tea"). Possible crowning moment?
Tadakatsu: "It matters not how many men you throw at me. I will fell them all!"
Shingen: "And what if I threw kittens at you, Tadakatsu? Would you kill them, too?"
Also in the Lost Age, giving all the "wrong" answers to the ButThouMusts up to a certain point earns the following rant from Kraden:
Kraden: *Hops twice* "What!? Are you INSANE!? Or maybe you think you're funny? Because you're not! Maybe this whole quest is just a game to you, but it's not to me! Are you bored!? Do you want to go home!? FINE! That's it! Then let's go home!"
Ghost Trick: In Chapter 15, accidentally shooting Inspector Cabanela in the face with a hardhat instead of a bullet is MUCH funnier than it should be.
Most things about Bailey are hilarious, but the Panic Dance in Chapter 9 is nearly unbearable. It's even funnier because he keeps doing it even after the crisis is averted.
Approximately a week or so before the Wrath of the Lich King expansion came out for World of Warcraft, Thrall, leader of the orcs, disappeared from his chamber for a few hours. The official forums proceeded to speculate on what he was doing and where he was during that time. This led to many responses simply saying "Jaina." But the absolute best was in response to one of these, where the poster simply wrote:
World of Warcraft has a number of noncombat pets with silly and/or hilarious animations, but one of the funniest ever has to go to the Plump Turkey, obtained as a reward for completing the Thanksgiving Pilgrim's Bounty holiday achievements. When near a cooking fire, the poor brainwashed bird takes a running jump into the fire and cooks itself.
The turkey narrowly supplants the Rocket Chicken, which is Exactly What It Says on the Tin, a robot chicken with huge rocket boosters strapped to its back. After warming itself up for a few minutes, the chicken will spontaneously launch itself skyward... and explode in a loud squawk and puff of feathers.
Kael'Thas was originally a raidboss in Tempest Keep. Later, he was revived as a 5-man boss. His monologue included "...Tempest Keep was merely a setback". From then on, "merely a setback" was a new meme in ''WoW circles.
Then there's the Blood Princes, three blood elves turned vampires who you could kill during leveling. When you first engage them, one says "Naxxanar was merely a setback!".
The trend continues in cataclysm with Hogger, the new final boss of the stockades, who upon engagement yells "Forest just setback!", not all surprising considering his meme god status in the game.
A possibly apocryphal exchange from the day Pope John Paul II passed away.
Player1 (In Ironforge chat): Guys the pope just died.
Player2: What did he drop?
The three new quests in the Badlands zone regarding The Day That Deathwing Came are just hilariously ridiculous. Words don't really do them justice, but they involve punching Deathwing in the face, a giant gnome, some hot babes (including a Blood Elf male), and a flying motorcycle.
One of the new quests in Redridge Mountains involves searching for the battle plans of the local monsters. None of them are what anyone would call brilliant, but one in particular...
"Congratulations! Allow me to grant you a title befitting the amazing achievement you just performed! Henceforth, you shall be known as the Slayer of Stupid, Incompetent, and Disappointing Minions." This is an actual title.
The Halls of Origination. When you defeat the last elemental in the Vault of Lights, as the door is opening, Brann Bronzebeard makes a comment that, when heard through his voice acting, sounds more like he's saying, "Oh not this s*** again..."
That did it. The door is opening. Now we can — Oh no...
Probably most players' first sourceless quest counts as this, as you basically get attacked by an eel, say "You know what? Fuck eels," and give yourself a quest to kill a bunch of eels.
Brigandine has a cutscene where the Ax-Crazy Mad Monarch Dryst gets reprimanded by high and mighty Church Militant Paternus for practically ignoring God. Dryst's response is pure hilarity...
Don't tell me you ask for God's permission to go to the toilet. Ha ha ha...
The Erotic Dream in Tsukihime. Or rather, not the dream itself, but the morning after, considering that Hisui wakes Shiki up every morning, and it's pretty obvious what he was dreaming about immediately prior. Usually, she tactfully tries not to call attention to it. Unless, of course, you dream about her...
Hisui (glaring): "...by the way, Shiki-sama. What kind of dream were you having?"
Shiki: "...um, it isn't much to talk about. I may have said something in my sleep, but it would be great if you'd think it has nothing to do with me at all..."
Hisui: "...that is fine. But from now on, please refrain from sleeping while talking about the smallness of someone's chest, or the wideness of their foreheads, or other characteristics of their body. It makes my duty to wake you up a little more difficult."
Duke Nukem 64. Unintentional? Duke can whiz in a urinal and then smash it and then drink from the same to regain health. Salty!
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People starts with a song about how you can't handle Strong Bad's style, and goes from there. In the third episode:
Strong Bad: But Bubs'll probably make me pay for it! With money! Bubs: I also accept first-born children.
In the second episode:
Strong Bad: Why'd you bring that ugly, misshapen stick?
Homestar: She organized the protest!
Strong Bad: Not Marzipan! (Aside) Though that's a pretty good one, gotta remember that...
Coach Z: It's an Erfagy. Orfagy. RPG. First Person Shooter!
The scene in Baddest of the Bands where, after indirectly dumping bleach in a pool, Strong Bad sheds a tear for the dead fish.
Strong Bad: Woah, sorry. Must have got some bleach in my eye. Nasty stuff!
And my own personal favorite. On Sagi's condition: "You look worse than a pow in labor with a dozen calflets!"
Castle Crashers's Thieves' Forest stage. A deer who propels himself through bowel movements? A grizzly bear who shits himself at the sight of an off-screen Giant Mook? The same crap-happy deer bowel-thrusting himself through an abandoned mill to escape said Giant Mook?
Metroid isn't a series with a lot of funny moments, but in the Prime trilogy, there are some fairly hilarious Space Pirate logs you can scan if you look hard enough. The most famous one, by far, is the one that reads:
"Science Team still believes that the Metroids can be tamed. After three cycles of trying and twelve warriors killed, I now believe that Science Team has vapor for brains."
"Science Team has vapor for brains" quickly became a meme among Metroid fans.
"Aran's Power Suit technology remains a mystery, especially the curious Morph Ball function. All attempts at duplicating it have ended in disaster: four test subjects were horribly broken and twisted when they engaged our Morph Ball prototypes. Science Team wisely decided to move on afterward."
One from Prime 3:
"After our liberation, she left us adrift. We thought this a test of our
loyalty, and so we endured. Some said she abandoned us. They were promptly
shot. Disciples do not doubt their leader. [...] Some refused to follow,
afraid of the unknown. They too were shot. Disciples must be fearless."
There is also something hilarious about the cutscene right after beating Thardus, who many players see as That One Boss. Samus avoids the ensuing rocky explosion... except for one little stone that bonks her in the head from the side.
Quadraxis in Prime 2. Remember how his head was bouncing all over the place when you killed him, then it just kinda skidded to a stop in the background?
One of the Galatic Federation Trooper logs in Prime 2 is also quite funny. One of the now-dead troopers was a massive Samus fangirl, and spent a great deal of time regaling the other troopers in her squad about Samus' exploits. One of the other troopers outright didn't believe Samus existed, and wrote in his log: "Yeah, and did she save Zebes with the help of her friends, Bigfoot and Santa Claus?" Tell me the mental image of Samus fighting side-by-side with Santa and Bigfoot isn't hilarious.
Or the Space Pirate log in Prime 2 when they realize that Samus and Dark Samus are two separate beings. The reaction is basically, "Oh Crap, there's two of them?!"
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay has a wonderful moment in which you can listen in on the Cozart Brothers torturing an inmate that's had the misforture of sharing their cell during confinement:
Victor: Let me do that! Let me do that! I have the best thing right here...
Prisoner: No...no! No don't, please! (Sobbing) No, please no...no...
Luthor: Hush now. My brother is gonna cut you now. You just hush. Okay? Good.
Luthor: (Giggling wickedly) That's good Victor, that's good! Now, let me do some.
Victor: Just one second- I'm just gonna...take...the other eye.
Luthor: Don't you kill him, Victor! We're not getting out in a week!
Victor: You mean we can't get a new one? (A pause) Oh shit! He passed out!
Luthor: Not in a week...NNNNNO! Listen, why don't we wait until this one's conscious again? Then we can... then we can burn him or something... we can burn him!
Later on, Riddick is walking away from a bomb he set, then comes face to face with a Riot Guard (a Prison Guard in Powered Armor with two machineguns at the ends of the arms). Remember, Riddick has no visible weapons and isn't wearing any armor at all.
Riot Guard: What the... Hold it! That area's restricted.
Riddick: Oh, sorry, my mistake. (turns and tries to walk away)
Riot Guard: Don't move, prisoner... it's not that easy... Name.. (Riddick turns around)
Riot Guard: ...Riddick... (Realizes it's just him and Riddick) ...Shit!
Riddick: I think you're gonna need backup.
Riot Guard: (Radio) This is 22B. I need backup. And send down a home-box for Riddick. We need him sedated. Do it now! (Scene cuts and comes back with Riddick being locked in a box/traincar with two guards watching him while the Riot Guard stands outside)
Illbleed is alternately ridiculous and disturbing. Highlights include the brainless, gibbering "woodpuppet" version of Randy in "Woodpuppets" and the "boss fight" from "Killer Department Store" ("Aaah! Cashman's on fire!").
"In the end, we are all satisfied, And you are set free."
Narmy and cheesy Dante's one-liners may be (when they're not awesome), sometimes they're genuinely funny. This editor's favorites (from 3) are from just before the Cerberus battle (Dante talks to the three-headed Hellhound like he's a normal dog) and just before and after the Agni & Rudra battle. ("No - talking!")
Dude. Jester's a walking moment all by himself.
"Jester's gonna spank your butt, spank you on the butt!"
"Write it down on your HAND if you don't trust your HEAD."
"You saw it too, didn't you? That huuuge tower, jutting out of the ground. That ''thick shaft that causes women to SHUDDER..."
You want narm and ham? Look no further than "Agnus Redux," which shows you what happens when Dante decides to go whole hog.
Explanation: pre-battle banter/conversation, in an abandoned opera house. Dante decides to act appropriately to the location, complete with singing his lines.
Nero and Kyrie are absorbed into the savior, Credo is dying, the savior "powers up" and flies away. While not depressing, the tone is a bit sad. Then comes Dante:
Dante: Check out, it's got wings!
House of the Dead: Overkill makes itself into a crowning Game of funny, by taking absolutely everything about itself Up to Eleven and never once stopping to be serious. The Cluster F Bombs, the Gorn, everything Crosses the Line Twice. The crowning moment, however, is probably Agent G and Detective Washington blowing the popsicle stand that is Carny in... a popsicle stand. Well, an ice cream truck.
Washington: Can I drive?
Washington: Can I have a lollipop?
The Typing of the Dead's Final Boss, the Emperor, has you answering questions with one of three hilarious answers:
And then there's the Multiple Endings, the one you get being determined by how you answer the aforementioned questions.
Goldman jumps off the building (as in the original ending), and an explosion is seen. Not as planned.
Goldman bungee jumps off the building, comes back up, and burps.
Goldman farts and flies off into the sky.
Regardless of which ending you get, you segue into the credits sequence, in which you type in the names of the staff to cause zombies to break out of their glass tubes. Said zombies, upon release, promptly break into dance.
Of all series, Silent Hill has some gloriously funny moments hidden amongst all the horror. Perhaps the best and most famous are the UFO endings, which eventually culminate in the third game where Heather, after being abducted by the aliens, meets the previous games' protagonists (who were also abducted in their respective games), and the aliens blow up Silent Hill. Then Silent Hill No Uta plays. That this makes about as much sense as anything else that happens in that town only succeeds in making it funnier.
Note: One of the protagonists Heather meets is her father, who is dead, and yes, it still makes just as much sense as any of the other endings.
Heather going to look in the toilet and then turning toward the screen and questioning who the hell would actually do that.
In the fourth game, we have Jasper and his thoroughly disturbing affection for chocolate milk.
Shattered Memories' UFO ending takes the cake. Rather than the standard "Harry's dead" ending, she claims that he was abducted by aliens, and that the entire town is actually a giant spaceship. Cue James walking by, prompting the following exchange before cutting back to Heather, who is now the dog from the second game, stating "My mother was a bitch."
James: "...Wrong day again?"
Kaufman: See you tomorrow, James. *door closes* One of my couple's therapy patients. Haven't seen his wife in a while.
"It's a boat. It's like a car, but runs on water."
The Noitu Love games tend to have varying degrees of incredibly weird humor thrown in amongst the hectic action. Take, for example, the third level from the first one. You get attacked by robot zombies, a robot grim reaper, and exploding robot nuns on your way to pyschotic musician 02-Joy's hideout in an old church, then enter the church and get your ears blasted upon uncovering a massive zombie rave you have to fight your way through, and when you finally get to 02-Joy, the only way to start the battle (and hurt him, incidentally) is to completely suck at playing the piano.
02-Joy: AAAAAAARGH! Are you a complete and utter moron?! Don't you know CHORDS?!?
MadWorld has the announcers, which act as a Crowning Soundtrack of Funny, almost constantly playing in the background. A highly, HIGHLY inappropriate soundtrack.
Kreese: You know, on that first version of Martin he shot those out of his crotch.
Howard: I remember that, the censors made him change it because they said it made the death less family friendly.
Kreese: I wouldn't let my kids watch.
Howard: You got kids?
Kreese: That's what the courts tell me.
Don't forget when Howard goes into one of his perverted moments.
Howard: You know, I usually like my electric prods delivered by a dominitrix dressed as a british nanny. But this sci fi soldier getup is pretty kinky too!
Kreese: I'll deliver an electric prod to you anytime you want, you sick freak. Just ask!
Howard: (sincerely) Pleeease?
Freespace 2 has a couple of Hilarious Outtakes buried in the voice files for the game ("Stop laughing there, copilot!"), and the AI's sometimes suicidal piloting technique can lead to some extremely amusing collisions. The best involves a very speedy Astaroth getting whacked by the spinning... thing that spins on a Shivan CommNode. Said Astaroth did its best impression of a baseball before exploding in the distance.
Some of the user-made campaigns are full of Funny:
From Derelict, Ensemble Dark Horse Lt. Mackie and his endless references to duct tape as well as the immortal line: "Looks like the defecation is about to hit the ventilation..."
Somehow Silent Threat Reborn managed to believably use "Somebody set up us the bomb!" in an otherwise quite serious story for major lulz.
And then there's the Just Another Day parody campaigns, which are pretty much continous Crowning Moment of Funny's from start to finish ("I may or may not be the Wizard of Ambiguity...")
Lost Odyssey, where the immortal, eternally 20-years old Seth is reunited with her mortal, looks-70-year-old son after many, many decades. He runs at her, shouting "momma!", and she playfully gives him a noogie (on his bald head). Prince Tolten's incredulous reaction absolutely wonderful.
Also in "Lost Odyssey" (in fact, not long (chronologically) after the event above.) Seth, Sed (her son), and Prince Tolten have just escaped from monsters in Sed's uber-sub, and Sed and Seth are celebrating with whoops of triumph and double high fives. Tolten is caught up in the exitement and tries to join in... about a second too late, and the moment has already past. One can imagine his awkwardness as he tries to recover his dignity...
And let us not forgot the walking-talking generator of humor that is Jansen. Many of the hijinks he gets into over the course of the game will have you in absolute stitches (such as showing up to the start of the adventure hung-over, hitting on everything that moves, and having a big snark-streak). It helps that his English VA is a professional stand-up comic.
In Summon Night 2: Swordcraft Story, there's a monster that will not let you pass... unless you ask in the way that a sexy woman would. The various characters' reactions are hilarious, especially if you make your Summon Beast be the one to ask.
Loki: being told that he isn't sexy enough "Oh...no...you...didn't!"
BLUE SCREEN OF DEAAAAAAAAAAAATH!!
Dwarf Fortress, a fantastic freeware civilization/roguelike game that advertises losing as being fun, has much of this at random. Particularly, you can allow a dwarf to tantrum and assault something or someone, causing another dwarf to tantrum and do the exact same thing to other dwarves, thereby setting up a Disaster Dominoes that eventually kills everybody and completely ruins your entire fortress—even if the cause was simply a dwarf not being able to eat at a table. Or, you can set a dwarf on fire and he will simply not notice enough to allow himself to grab a drink from the local stores of alcohol... which bursts into flames and causes everything in the vicinity to catch fire, including other dwarves, who still won't notice and will wander about the fortress causing every non-fire-safe material they touch to catch fire, eventually causing your entire fortress to burn down to the ground.
This game has a lot of Video Game Cruelty Potential. If you are able to harness a source of unlimited running liquid (be it water or magma), you can redirect them to create deathtraps that involves locking in the victims and slowly filling up the death chamber with liquid, the end result being that they either drown to death or they melt horribly in molten rock.
The best way to handle those annoying nobles? Set up suicide booths just for them — a standard suicide booth involves a switch and a trap that will result in a guaranteed death for anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room as the switch.
Fun traps include: floors that give out when the victims are standing on them, causing them to drop to their deaths; drawbridges that squash them flat when they are in range; deliberate cave-ins intended to crush the one who triggered it; locked chambers of ballista doom...
See Boatmurdered for the right way to use magma, and the wrong way to do most of everything else.
There are also a few hilarious DF videos, such as this one.
In the Dark Forces Saga, it isn't uncommon to listen in on stormtroopers having regular conversations before they realize you're there. Many of the conversations are amusing enough, but one in particular from Jedi Academy is hilarious. Two stormtroopers are complaining about being stationed in the cold on Hoth when one tells the story of how he used to be a scout trooper. Long story short, he couldn't see out of the helmet and caused a speeder bike pile-up before being kicked out shortly after.
Days of Ruin is Darker and Edgierright up until you choose "Tactics Room" from the menu. Between Lin and Isabella's "Tactics Time" sketches, Brenner giving you advice from notecards (which end with "Don't tell Will you're reading off notecards"), or the Beast showing up to give you advice on handling Fog of War, it never disappoints. The last of these is the best simply for Will's reaction to his sworn enemy advising him on how to fight:
Okay, that was just weird.
Absolutely anything to do with Da Orks in Dawn of War, its expansion packs and sequel, starting from the first scene in which they speak ("We'll keep dem more dan busy. We'll keep dem dead") and just going from there. Also, absolutely anything to do with da Ork Warboss Gorgutz 'Eadunter, especially how he managed to get his WAAAGH! to infiltrate the planet Kronus by throwing lots of rocks at the Imperium and Tau fleets in orbit, after which his ships crashed into the planet anyway.
Gorgutz: We'll call dat Plan Stupid. I named it after yeh. [Later] Gorgutz: Why's ya grinnin'? Ork: Because ya named a plan afta me!
The Ork fortress is about to fall in Dark Crusade:
Ork: Uh, Boss? We'z gettin' shot up!
Gorgutz: Ain't ya da master of da obvious? Use da 'splosives!
Ork: Da what?
Gorgutz: Da bomb, ya git! DA BOMB!
The feral Orkz in the Eldar fortress of Dark Crusade:
Ork 1: Shouldn't we use da Squiggoths on dem?
Ork 2: Nah, leave 'em be. Da Squiggoths aren't trained yet an' I don' wanna have to scrape yer bitz offa their feet!
(cue new optional objective)
Eliphas the Inheritor has some good lines as well when talking to the Space Marine Captain.
Thule: You won't hold on to that for long, demon-spawn!
Largo's side chapter in Valkyria Chronicles, wherein The Big Guy gets all pissed off about Imperials hijacking a shipment of vegetables going to town. He gives an impassioned speech about how everyone should eat more vegetables, because they're "like miniature bombs filled with vitamins and nutrients!" However, it's Rosie's deadpan comeback that seals it:
Largo: I mean, come on! The human body is full of nutrients!
Rosie: (nonchalantly) Which are also like miniature bombs?
The entire cutscene for the first Nod mission of Tiberian Sun. Particularly:
CABAL: The probability, of a favorable outcome, can be increased if we retreat to the nearby base in the area and fight as we move.
Slavik: Define "favorable outcome," CABAL.
CABAL: ...They all die.
Slavik: That'll do.
Yuri's Revenge has some as well.
Zofia: Special Agent Tanya has agreed to help us. Her abilities will be quite useful... even if she's not as skilled as Boris.
Tanya: What? Yeah, like Boris is skilled. 'Ooh, look at me! I can call in an airstrike!' Please...
Zofia: Oh...sorry, sir. I though this channel was secure.
Also, the first time the Floating Disc unit appears in the Allied campaign:
Carville: Holy cow... commander, we've got some kind of UFO on our radar! Either if aliens are attacking or Yuri's been watching too much TV — watch yourself out there.
Dr. Killjoy's lecture in The Suffering, conducted with the aid of a convict strapped to a table:
Dr Killjoy: When performing a lethal injection, it is essential that the needles be placed with absolute precision. And unlike standard medical procedures, with a lethal injection you have a patient who probably does not want the procedure to occur. Therefore, it is of vital importance that the restraints be tight and strong. Even with that, trouble may arise, and it may be incumbent for the practitioner to take matters into his own hands, using whatever sharp, bladed objects he may have on his person. Lacerations...
(He abruptly slashes the inmate across the chest with a scalpel.)
Killjoy: ...to the body at strategic locations...
(He slashes the inmate again.)
Killjoy: ...may put the patient into a state of shock...
(He slashes the inmate one last time; the inmate screams, and passes out.)
Killjoy: making him far more pliable, or at the very least, causing him to bleed to death, thus achieving the desired end. Who are we kidding? We're not really trying to be humane anyway. Class dismissed.
Another Killjoy moment, this time in the second game, and conducted with the aid of three heroin addicts:
"Ever seen the effects of purified narcotics on the human brain?"
Torque having his torso cartoonishly hammered off by a Fester should his health drop too low while in combat with it.
Prison guards arguing over where to shine the spotlight while trying to fend off a horde of Slayers; "Your Other Left, you dumb bastard!"
Sergei asking prison guards for a replacement hookah for the one that broke during the earthquake.
For that matter, finding Sergei's marijuana crop.
In Final Fight there's a bonus level where you take a crowbar and destroy a car for bonus points. Once the level finishes totaling up your points, a Mook walks onscreen and cries "Oh my car!" very unconvincingly and sheds tears as big as his fists. The giant tears couple with the bad voice acting had me in stitches.
That's the SNES version. In the arcade version it's "OH! MY GOD!" Even funnier.
In one area of Target Terror, an arcade rail shooter where you fight terrorists, when you fight terrorists at an airport terminal, you actually have to take out terrorists in a bathroom! You begin by approaching four guys using urinals; three are terrorists and one is innocent. They turn around, and two start shooting while one throws dynamite, and the innocent walks slowly away with his hands up (I feel sorry for that innocent bystander). Turn left, where a terrorist is taking aim above a toilet stall where a woman (I guess this is a unisex bathroom) pops out from above another closed stall as another terrorist is firing from an open stall. This gives you the idea to start kicking in some of the toilet stalls. First stall: Terrorist standing up ready to shoot. Second stall: Poor hapless innocent bystander wearing glasses with his pants down on the toilet reading a newpaper, then having to awkwardly cover himself when he sees you. Whoops. Third stall: A terrorist sitting on the toilet with his pants down reading a newpaper; he takes his time to fold up his newspaper to draw his pistol, so if you took long enough to let him fire, you deserve to lose a life, and the toilet flushes when you kill him. I guess even terrorists have to use the bathroom at some point or another. By the time I was done, I was cracking up laughing due to that scene.
Kamille, to Master Asia: Yes. I always hated my name. But getting wailed on by you has definitely made me feel more manly.
The regular Dynasty Warriors series is notable for its Narmy moments, but the gameplay lends itself to some moments of genuine hilarity. Case in point, Gan Ning vs. Cao Cao in DW5. Gan Ning unloads a seemingly devastating musou attack on Cao Cao...only for Cao Cao to turn around and very calmly curb stomp him. Cue the Game Over screen and Gan Ning's scream of humiliation.
In the ending of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, when the Prince offers Farah the Dagger of Time, after telling her the story of the game, she asks why he came up with such a wild tale (not remembering any of the events of the game herself, as the Prince pushed the Reset Button). He replies by kissing her. She pushes him off and says "I said I was grateful, but you presume too much!" The Prince's response to this: he looks at the Dagger, rewinds time, using the same ability you've been using all game, to the middle of her question about why he made up such a tale, and then replies "You're right, it's just a story," and gives her the Dagger. After the large-scale Reset Button that had been pushed previously, seeing the Prince utilize it on a much smaller scale for such a trivial reason is hilarious.
T When the Prince began talking to himself during the game as he began to feel the absence of Farah, eventually ending up having to tell himself to shut up. More than once.
"Stop talking to yourself! Augh!"
While most of the insane ramblings of the Splicers from Bioshock are genuinely unnerving, anything that comes out the mouth of the snooty and arrogant Ladysmith Splicer is pure comedy gold. My particular favourite would have to be:
As hilarious as most of her lines are, it's Dr. Grossman who get's the best material, hands down:
Dr. Grossman: "When is a fever not a fever? WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!"
Dr. Grossman: "There's semen! On everything! EVERYTHING!
The sequel also has a great moment. The room where you get the Incinerate plasmid has two mannequin displays. Right after picking the plasmid up, an announcer tells you to use it to light a mock fireplace, next to a simulated couple. A flick of the fingers, and the fireplace lights up...also lighting up the oil leaking from the display, causing both mannequins to burst into flames.
Alex the Great is pretty funny at times as well. "Well done, you won a battle of wits with a home appliance!"
Ghostbusters: The Video Game, being scripted by the franchise's creators Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis, contains many dialogue gems on par with the films. My particularly favourite exchange occured during the boss fight with a projectile-hurtling Mr. Stay Puft:
Ray: (To Player) Look! Inbound! You're gonna wanna avoid those! Or take care of them!
Egon: (Deadpan) He's right, rookie. Your health insurance doesn't begin for another 89 days.
Before that, you're running through the streets of Manhattan while fighting Stay Puft and when you shoot him with the Bason Dart.
Ray: Give him S'more! What? I can be funny too you know.
Whenever Ray gets possessed in the museum level.
(After Ray has been possessed in the loading dock area)
The scene in Crash Twinsanity when main villain Dr. Cortex's whole body (including his head) is stuck in a pipe. Normally fart jokes are considered the lowest of kid's media, but the comedic timing and his squeal made for grade A humor.
Dr. Cortex: The greatest evil in the world...stuck in a pipe! What could possibly be worse? *farts* ......*anguished squeal*.
Early in during Breath of Fire 4, the jumping tutorial will be made intresting as Nina fluffs a jump and falls stright down. Ryu ninjas his way down to catch her, only to notice that, hey, she's a Windian and she can fly, BAM! Ryu kisses the ground.
The humorous material in the game can be divided into five categories: things Dalboz says ("You gain 86 experience points and found a healing potion. Oops, um, wrong kind of dungeon master."), Have a Nice Death messages ("At least this is what you assume he does. You are far too dead to know for certain."), moments involving Antharia Jack ("Can I at least have a hug?"), things your three totemized party members say ("Oh c'mon! You gotta be a moron to perform impromptu root canal on a sleeping dragon. It just isn't done."), and everything else ("The Alarm System is down. Can everybody please try and cheer him up?").
Spyro the Dragon, third game. After you pay off Moneybags to rescue Agent 9, he remarks "You ever seen a bear dance?" He then chases Moneybags around, firing lasers at him. It's funnier than it sounds.
Half-Life 2: Episode One. Alyx Vance. "Maybe you should hit it with a crowbar just in case." That is all.
Alyx again in Episode 1. After climbing out of the crashed train car finding out you have to fight your way through zombie infested territory. As soon as you turn your back to Alyx and your flashlight runs out in the safer zones, you hear a zombie moaning noise. Just turn your flashligh back on and look at Alyx. She is just a few seconds away from bursting out with laughter.
The Oh Crap factor of this is somewhat reduced if you have subtitles on, as it comes up as something to the effect of 'makes zombie noise' in Alyx's pink subtitle colour.
When you struggle through some underground passage in company of a very witty Vortigaunt. "Ah-h, no pit would be complete without a Freeman climbing out of it."
Also note the exploding minecart and flaming zombie torso that fall down the pit as you climb up. There's no accompanying sounds or anything, just random flaming zombie torso falling down the pit at you.
Rabbids Go Home is pretty amusing on its own, but the level "Atomic Rabbid Blast" is hilarious. In addition to one of the unseen plant employees constantly complaining to his partner "Bob" about rabbits in the reactor, the annoucer lady's cool nonchalance about, well, everything is completely amazing.
Those who have been irradiated are kindly asked to never, ever leave the plant again.
Will the person who borrowed the giant, highly radioactive atomic battery please report to the welcome desk? Thank you!
On one level, you enter a top secret area. The announcer's pleas that you leave get increasingly hilarious.
What part of TOP. SECRET. do you not understand?!
In Ace Combat X: Skies of Deception, at the end of "End of Deception II", Gryphus One's allies sing his praises for being able to destroy Archelon Fortress. One of them butts in to claim that he could have made it too if the gate to the fortress didn't shut behind Gryphus One. The others proceed to shut him down cheerily.
In mission 12A from 5, "Powder Keg", everyone in Wardog squad is exhausted from constant sorties. After taking out about a third of the tunnels, Chopper starts on a joke but forgets what he wanted to say halfway through, and Edge calls him out on his constant chatter. Even if you didn't find him annoying, the exchange is a lot funnier than it should be.
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box manages to have one within a puzzle. You have a crazy, mazelike container with three openings, smelly garlic inisde, and two corks. You have to save the fellow observing the container from having to smell the garlic. The instructions the game gives you? "Tap an opening to plug it." The actual solution? Ignore the bottle. Ram the corks up the guy's nose!
Also, one fashion-conscious NPC gives you some advice:
Lopez: Make sure your clothes always match; that's fashion rule number one! Fashion rule number two is, no one can pull off sequins.
The Uncharted games are generally much funnier than most games due to Nathan Drake being an expert Deadpan Snarker. Possibly the height of these moments, however, comes when you finally get back to the beginning sequence of Among Thieves, where Nate is inexplicably trapped in a train car hanging over a cliff and has to climb up before it falls over. Admittedly, the sequence is rather grim both times you visit it, since he was just shot in the stomach and is thus fighting million-to-one odds in favor of his death, but the "second" time you play it, Nate is grumbling the entire time about playing the hero and Chloe refusing to be rescued from Lazarevic's men and how he is so sick of climbing shit and...Nate, you were just shot in the stomach, why am I laughing so hard?
In the beginning of Among Thieves, when Nate and Flynn are breaking into a museum: Nate's about to climb up onto a roof when a guard approaches.
Flynn: There's a guy above you, there's a guy above you!
(Nate grabs the guard and tosses him off the roof into the water below.)
Flynn: There's a guy below you, there's a guy below you!
The ending to Wario Land Shake It!. Our hero has just saved the entire world from the tyranny of the Shake King. Queen Merelda walks up to him, as soft romantic music plays in the background. "Brave hero, thank you for rescuing me. Your courage has brought peace to the whole of the Shake Dimen—" The music stops, Wario grabs Merelda, tosses her over his shoulder, then grabs the Bottomless Coin Sack. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a good description of Wario's character.
La-Mulana: The skimpy wetsuit in hell temple. You're more likely to cry than laugh, though.
Return to Castle Wolfenstein has an amusing conversation with an exasperated driver trying to get a guard to let him enter the occupied village with a truckload of food for the General's mansion, mostly cases of cheese. It ends with him being refused, and the following:
Driver: "Then what am I supposed to do with all this cheese?"
Guard: "I don't know. Find some crackers?"
TimeSplitters: Future Perfect: After fighting their way through a haunted mansion, tough-guy Cortez and stripperiffic, ghost-hunter Jo-Beth Casey discover a trap-door over a dark, runged shaft leaving deeper into the subterranean caves beneath the basement.
Jo-Beth: "Um, you first."
Cortez: *eyeing Jo-Beth's tiny mini-skirt and knowing she'd be climbing down above him* ...Okay!"
And her reaction? Two seconds of cocked eyebrow followed by an unconcerned shrug.
Pretty much anytime Cortez causes a Stable Time Loop, you know something funny is going to happen
The whole lot of Theater scripts in Suikoden III. Putting Viki in any role is guaranteed for funny, or a real bad actress like Chris in any role, or someone really quirky like Fred Maxmillian (who always give out his real name, not acted character name, in any opportunity possible) or Landis (Giving off lots of creepy "Yuh huh huh" here and there). But the cream of the crop is if you do the Neclord stage play with Geddoe as the narrator, whereas in the end, he breaks down his stoicism and complains hard.
Ya know, I don't care if you tell me 'It's for the Castle' or anything. I'M NEVER NARRATING AGAIN!!
For a game that can be quite depressing throughout the whole thing, Persona 2 has a great sense of humor. A certain scene early in "Innocent Sin" involves the main characters trying to stop a curse that causes all students wearing a Seven Sisters High School's emblem to have their faces melt and deform. Cue a serious scene where the characters are discussing it in the school's office until two of members get into one of their many heated arguments, pumping their arms around in great PSX graphics and sprites at the same time.
Lisa: That's it! Now I'm really pissed off! You can't blame me for what happened! I didn't think it was going to turn out like this! What! At least I don't get off on pulling down people's pants, Mr. Pervert!!! You frickin' Pants Leader...!!! Pants Leader! Pants Leader!
Eikichi: You should talk, freak! You're just a Chinese-speaking American in Japan! Ha! What the hell are you anyway!? Here let me give you a nickname! From now on, I'm going to call you "Ginko"! Ginko! Ginko! Ginko! Ginko!
Lisa: No! No, no, no, no! Don't you dare call me that stupid nickname!
Runescape: After reacquiring a number of brains stolen from some monks (it makes sense in context), your character is made to watch the re-implanting scene. Thankfully, a kitten playing with a ball of wool saves you the horrific scene. Your character isn't so lucky.
In fact, the Pirate Quest Series appears to be a veritable generator of these. Like this:
Player Character: [talking about evil spirit in brewery] "There's an evil spirit I need help with!"
Priest in the brewery: "Sure, lots of people need professional help after coming in contact with the spirits we have here."
And Traiborn summoning the Thingummywut. It also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Traiborn. what makes this funny? Before doing the Love Story quest, listen to what Traiborn says about Thingummywuts...then watch the cutscene. It is glorious. And really freaking huge.
Player: "I could.. get you [Zabeth Corved the musician's] autograph?
This tool assisted run (Somewhat NSFW) of Family Feud on SNES. Basically, the player exploits the game to make the game accept ridiculous answers like "oops I pressed it" instead of "speed limit" or "I bathed Keanu Reeves" instead of "Baker," and never allows the opposing family to play once. The best part is that said opposing family looks a combination of confused and incredibly pissed the entire time.
Star Wars Bounty Hunter, the game featuring Jango Fett as a protagonist, has a series of extras that portray various "bloopers" throughout the game as though it was a film in progress. Overall, they're pretty corny and lame, with one notable exception: in the game, a character remarks that "No one goes to a Hutt without something to offer," sparking a brief detour from the main plot as Fett snags a small time gang leader that had been a thorn in Jabba's side so he can meet with the Hutt. In the outtake, Fett's "something to offer" changes to a ridiculous dance number with a group of Gamorrean guards as backup dancers. The video can be seen here.
When Fett and Montross have their final confrontation, Montross states that they are the same. Fett replies, "Now you're just being mean."
During Yoshimitsu's story mode, you fight new character Raven, who is basically a ninjaWesley Snipes, aka a serious ninja. If you lose, you're treated to a cutscene of Raven attempting to teach Yoshimitsu ninja hand signs, with little success.
In Gruntz, you click on your Grunt to select him. What if you keep clicking him though?
"Stop Clicking Me"
"CAN'T...TAKE IT ANYMORE! GOING....TO EXPLODE, UUUUUAAAAAAAHHHH.....heh heh, scared ya, didn't I?"
Also, the intro AND outro are hilarious... "And as the final warp stone piece was placed, the worm hole OPENED!" * FART* "Yeah, and that's when Grimley farted on me, and the King couldn't BELIEVE how loud it was." "He was looking at the wormhole, you imbecile!" "Yeah...that's when I turned to my brother and said 'We REALLY need to lay off those mushrooms'" "No you didn't, you said 'Mommy, mommy, I want to go home, and you all jumped into the worm hole, leaving your precious baby toy behind, UAHAHAHAHAHAHA" "Hey, who you callin' a baby?! Your MOM didn't mind my baby toy, your momma LIKES my baby toy, okay BABY!?" "That's it! Enough of my mother, this game, I'VE HAD IT!" "oooooh, he's kickin' stuff now, ain't he? Your momma loves my baby toy, your momma loves my baby toy...ahahahaha!"
Another great moment came in four words: "Mister Sir Henry Motherfucker". Too perfect.
During the trip across the beach to fight Holly Summers, Travis destroys multiple electric fences, and as he tries to walk over them, the game shows a cutsene where he steps on a land mine and gets blown a few feet away. After he destroys the last one, we see a cutsene where he almost puts his foot on a landmine, stops, smirks as if to say "not falling for that again" and steps over the mine...only to step right on another one. Cue Skyward Scream.
The ending of Crisis Zone. With Derrick Lynch defeated and a nuclear meltdown averted, the STF gets ready to ascend back up to the surface. Except they try the elevator and it's broken. One of the squad members points to a flight of stairs. He also points out that, them being five kilometers underground, it's five kilometers of stairs.
The downloadable game Duty Calls, released to promote Bulletstorm. It mercilessly mocks many tropes present in "realistic" first-person shooters.
This Jhun vs Jhun match in King Of Fighters 2003. Jhun #1 tries to exploit the Amazing Flying Jhun glitch and ends up frozen in mid-air. After a few attempts at attacking from the ground, Jhun #2 decides to just spend the rest of the match dancing right below him before kicking him out of the air at the last second and winning the match by time out.
Scarface: The World Is Yours. Various citizens have rich dialogue trees with Tony Montana. For example; the masked wrestler with the fried chicken obsession, the bald man who wants to talk about conspiracies and the romantic music suggestions from the music store owner.
Sometimes the trees just don't work out and completely random, absolutely nonsensical conversations ensue. Or the taunt button, which could lead to Tony screaming at no one in paticular in an empty street.
The Punisher. After you throw a mook down the well at Ma Gnucci's place, stick around. He's not quite dead.
Dead Space 2: Upon completing the game on Hard Core mode, you unlock...a red foam finger. When you fire it, you can hear Isaac going "Bang bang" (primary fire) or "Pew pew" (alt fire), and all you see is his hand a trigger-pulling movement inside the finger. Oh, and you also see the limbs fly off of the Necromorph you were just pointing at.
The measures Ubisoft took to discourage anyone who would pirate Michael Jackson: The Experience: they covered up the music with the sounds of a large group of vuvuzelas being blown at full volume. Talk about a Cool and Unusual Punishment.
GoldenEye's second mission, the Facility, starts you off in an air vent. You make your way through the vents to a bathroom. And there's a guard in the stall you pop into.
This one's a nod to the way Bond takes out his first mook in the movie it's based on:
Bond: Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock. [WHACK!]
On episode 4 of The Way you find yourself interrupting a cutscene of a young boy arguing with his mother about whether to urinate in the corner of the house or outside.
Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey has one sidequest early on, where you must deal with a toilet on your mobile base which is being haunted by the God of Toilets, who is angry that you haven't been keeping your bathroom clean enough. When you beat him:
NPC You, uh, just fought the God of Toilets, so be sure to wash your hands!
Sly Cooper. It'ss Dimitri in general. Here's a few scenes
What he says after you've bugged his office is good, but no ones bothered to make of vid with it all.
Though it of course, is the mention of a shipping I loathe. Other then that, its good.
The US localization of Gunbird (known as Mobile Light Force in the states) has one of these if you know enough about the original Japanese version. Among the many, many changes made, the playable characters were renamed after members of the localization team. Two of these characters, Tetsu and Ash, are actually Camp Gay and a pedophile respectively in the original Japanese version.
From the mouth of a Commanding Officer in his second major war:
Even funnier, when you get to enter your own alias for the hero, you can try to enter the name "Pit"...but the game will reject you and ask you to enter something else.
Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness has some very funny cutscenes. But two of the best ones are:
The cutscene in Episode 1 where Gabe punches the crap out of the fortune-telling machine.
The cutscene in Episode 2 where Gabe comes out of the kitchen with a pink apron and pink oven mitts, holding a pie, then the whole building starts on fire, so he and the player character run, and Tycho comes out of the room he was in, sees Gabe and the player running, and notices the place crumbling down, then he screams like a girl.
The Where Are They Now epilogue of Infinite Undiscovery has a funny moment. Balbagan, Rico, and Rucha corner some bandits who reportedly kidnapped a woman. Turns out that woman is Michelle, a former comrade of theirs. The bandits are awfully eager to give her up. Why? She was taking such good care of them and making them do nice things like saying prayers before meals. She made them want to be nice in turn!
Bandit: Now, we got men who want to go home and help their parents!
In the China world of Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego there is a vicious man eating tiger terrorizing the village and blocking the exit, when you face the tiger and having taken some fire crackers from the Emperor, once the fire crackers go off the tiger jumps up and Screams Like a Little Girl with it's eyes bugging out and tongue waggiling, it pulls up the bottom of it's fur forming into a skirt complete with granny panties and high heels and runs away.