**WARNING: Spoilers Off applies to all Awesome Moments pages on TV Tropes. This page will contain no spoiler markings of any kind. If you have not beaten the game, read ahead at your own risk.**

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/red_chocobo.jpg

Ha, you should see him on the Segway. Or in Shinra uniform.

open/close all folders

Main story

In General

As many entries will show, Cloud's gone from being The Comically Serious where he just took all the wackiness of the original game at face value, to straight up being a Butt-Monkey half the time that is Not So Above It All as his try-hard attitude routinely falters at his expense with the craziness of VII's world. It never gets malicious or mean-spirited, we have Sephiroth for that, but the process of making Cloud come out of his shell is genuine hilarity across most of the game.
Barret and Aerith's Synergy Attack has Aerith putting on a pair of Cool Shades like Barrett's, leading to the humorous juxtaposition of the energetic flower girl wearing a pair of sunglasses like Horatio Caine.
- She even changes her shades to a pair of bright pink ones if you perform the Synergy Attack while wearing her swimsuit!
Red XIII, a quadrupedal non-human, riding a Chocobo as if he were a bipedal humanoid. The sheer contrast is bound to elicit a laugh or two from any player. And then there's him on the wheelie (Final Fantasy VII's bland-name version of a Segway) when in Costa del Sol.
- It should be noted that the artists made a custom riding animation so that Aerith could ride her Chocobo sidesaddle....but gave Red humanoid animation anyway.
NPCs constantly mistaking Red XIII not as a sentient being, but as just a dog that they want to pet, making him respond with an aggressive stance and intense growling. In one case the NPC chucks him some meat, which he happily gorges himself on.
Some of the pause menu animations. Unlike "Remake", "Rebirth" has the party standing together on the pause menu and they do a short animation on first opening the menu - sometimes shifting their weight, adjusting their weapons, striking poses that reflect key art from the original game, etc. The developers occasionally have fun with this, though - whenever the party changes clothes the change is reflected in the menu; so the menu can show Cloud, Tifa and Aerith all in trooper disguises, or the gang (sans Red) all in beachwear at Costa del Sol. Once segment in chapter 7 has Yuffie become the party leader, occasionally being totally alone when she has to split from the rest of the party to reach a switch. Go to the pause menu when Yuffie is alone and she'll occasionally get right up to the screen, staring out at the player, before checking around and behind her as if trying to figure out where everyone else is.
Cait Sith is pretty much a walking CMOF — the developers didn't just retain the silliness of the original game, they leaned in and made him even wackier. He constantly makes cat puns, rhymes when playing up his fortuneteller gimmick, and invokes Playful Cat Smile on purpose. His fighting style is pure gimmickry and Toon Physics, with his base attacks letting him whack enemies with his megaphone or blast a magical music note at them, or he can direct it at the round and create a magical soundwave that propels him into the air as he keeps playing. His skills include rolling a giant die to use a random skill, throwing out stuffed plushie mines that explode on contact, turning his Moogle into a walking bomb that explodes when enemies KO it, and rolling his Moogle into enemies. Finally his Limit Break has him throw a surprise box at enemies to release rockets, and his higher level Limits just have him conjure even bigger boxes, the next one sending out a wave of damaging plushies and the top one summon a giant Fat Chocobo to crush enemies. Both in the story and in gameplay, Cait Sith is a lot of fun to watch.
Once the player recruits Vincent, if they dock at a port he'll usually be found hanging around nearby, somewhere in the shade. What makes it funny is that in some locations he seems to be actively going out of his way to hide from other people, usually behind boathouses or storage crates. Funniest of all is Junon, where he takes his need for solitude so far he stands on a pier that can only be reached by swimming to.

Chapter 1: Fall of a Hero

Just like in the original, Cloud can rifle through Tifa's things. The specific "orthopedic underwear" joke is cut, but Tifa expresses her indignation, with her and Aerith simultaneously proclaiming "You asshole!". Refusing to rummage through her things will instead have Cloud state he was joking, though Tifa is still unamused, with Aerith and even Barret agreeing it was a tasteless joke.
Playing on the piano and doing well will instead leave the rest of the party impressed...even though it's still in Tifa's room.
Cloud's encounter with Zangan has the older martial artist feeling up Cloud's arms, legs, and torso, examining his body and declaring he needs to bulk up. This is a Call-Back to the "Traces of Two Pasts" novel, where he does the same to Tifa.
- Zangan tells Cloud that one of his many pupils is Tifa and expresses his faith that she will go far. Cloud replies with a sarcastic "yeah right" which present Tifa isn't amused about.
  Tifa: "Yeah right?"
  Aerith: Got anything to say for yourself?
  Cloud: I didn't know!
Cloud can join some villagers exercising and raise his arms, only to give up after a few seconds.
Cloud's behavior in the Nibelheim flashback resembles Zack's behavior even more than the original, with Sephiroth even referring to Cloud as a "puppy" - calling to mind how Angeal described Zack to his mother. This could also make for some unintentional Black Comedy for those who have played Crisis Core and are aware of the twist regarding Cloud's identity. In fact, the very first thing Cloud is shown doing in the Nibelheim flashback are squats, so there's some comedy to be had in terms of how unsubtle Rebirth is in regards to Cloud's true nature.
If Cloud gets caught by the Materia Guardian, Sephiroth will sigh and mutter "rookies" in annoyance.
When Aerith says she heard about Sephiroth's supposed demise on the news and had no reason to disbelieve it, Barret rants that the news is controlled by Shinra and anyone who believes it is a dumbass. Aerith quickly asks if that makes her a dumbass. Barret quickly backpedals.
Aerith: It was all over the news. I remember watching it with my mom. They said he went missing during a training exercise. But then... the story changed. A couple days later, they started reporting that he was killed in action. Yeah, that was it.
Barret: The news outlets are nothin' but Shinra mouthpieces spewin' propaganda. Only dumbasses believe that shit!
Aerith: (raises her hand) Question! (points to herself with a smile) Does that make me a dumbass?
Barret: I didn't say that. What I meant was... screw Shinra for manipulatin' honest folks. (sits down)
After the gang adjourns the meeting and retires for the night, Barret is a bit late on claiming where to sleep.
Red XIII: (yawns, walking towards a bed)
Barret: Oh no you don't! That bed's—
Red XIII: (jumps and lies down on the bed)
Barret: ...mine.

Chapter 2: A New Journey Begins

When Aerith asks how to cross the plains, Barret says all they have to do is start walking. He confidently starts walking forward, then gets embarrassed when he realizes he's going in the wrong direction.
After the party escape Kalm, Cloud asks Chocobo Bill if he knows of a place to hunker down until there's less attention from Shinra. Bill, meanwhile, seems to have a very different understanding of what Cloud is asking for.
Bill: Hmm... "Hunker down," y'say?
(beat)
Bill: Oh. (chuckles) I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be young and in love.
When they arrive at the ranch to get some Chocobos, Billy the owner of the place calls Cloud "Pops" much to his annoyance.
Upon finding Piko the missing chocobo, Aerith and Tifa fawn over it and note that it looks similar to Cloud.
Chadley can tell that Cloud isn't actually all that excited by his arrival.
Chadley: Detecting internal monologue: "The hell's this weirdo doing here?"
On the topic of Chadley, he introduces MAI, a very chipper and talkative A.I. assistant who starts off as an Annoying Video Game Helper. Then she starts interrupting and talking over Chadley's transmissions, making even him express annoyance at her rudeness as well as apprehension at her effectively usurping his role. And then it all eventually culminates with MAI initiating relays with Cloud before Chadley can reach out, prompting Chadley to straight up putting her on mute.
Beck's Badasses are back and taking their operation worldwide, with all the humor that entails. For added hilarity, you can have Cloud act as if he doesn't remember them.

Chapter 3: Deeper into Darkness

Elena's debut has her complaining a lot to Rude.
When the party decide to nominate Cloud as the leader, he says he'll do it for two grand. Aerith then teases him by saying that it's twice as much as a certain somebody's "Standard Course". When the others ask what she means Cloud hastily changes the subject.
- Later on after Barret and Red get separated from the rest of the party they meet up in a ravine. When Cloud asks Barret if he can get them across Barret says he can... for two grand. All Cloud can say is that Barret is "hilarious".
- Which reaches its zenith when Aerith and Tifa open a way up for Barret and Red leading to this exchange:
  Barret: Thanks, I owe ya!
  Aerith: Yeah, two grand!
  Barret: That's... fair.

Chapter 4: Dawn of a New Era

Upon arriving in Under Junon, Rhonda the mayor/sheriff promptly pulls up the party's wanted posters on a tablet. Tifa and Barret have bounties of 100,000 gil on their heads, while Aerith has one of 500,000 gil. Aerith sounds ecstatic.
When Cloud rescues Yuffie, she's initially unresponsive, with Cloud being prompted to perform CPR. Thing is, he's very much hesitant to do so because of her breasts. And just before he's about to apply pressure, she wakes up and accuses Cloud of being a creep before the others explain what happened. Realizing her mistake, Yuffie scolds herself for that.
- Afterwards, Barret mockingly imitates her goodbye before nearly starting into a "kids these days" rant.
Just after Yuffie tries to blackmail the group into helping her assassinate Rufus, the sound of a motorcycle can be heard. Who caught wind of Cloud's presence thanks to an info leak? Roche, who's making some rather flirty remarks to draw Cloud out. Cloud, when asked by Tifa who Roche is, just tells her that the guy is a pain in the ass.
- As Cloud is making his way to the front door of the inn, Roche continues with the pickup lines, much to the former's annoyance. Plus, if Cloud walks onto the balcony, Roche says this:
  What light from yonder balcony breaks? Come on down and say hello~!
Yuffie explains she's a ninja. Barret is taken aback, saying that while Avalanche has done some shady shit, slitting throats in the night like a ninja is something they won't stoop to. Yuffie immediately tells him she's offended by his insinuation... before adding that it is something Ninjas actually do.
Roche reveals that he was tasked with capturing Aerith. But rather than fight Cloud in the undercity, Roche invites Cloud to fight topside. After that, Roche revs up his bike, pulls several tricks, and rides out of town laughing like a maniac.
Barret: (to Cloud, after Roche leaves) You've got some weird friends, man.
After Cloud and his friends manage to get to the aerodrome without getting outed as intruders, they can listen to some ambient conversations between the troopers on base. Apparently, Rufus Shinra is so darn attractive as company president that long lines formed at the local gift shops selling Rufus-themed merchandise, leaving the troopers (who are Shinra employees) unable to buy merch for their families and friends.
While the party walks through the aerodrome, Cloud exhibits yet another episode of his chronic Comically Missing the Point Syndrome:
Aerith: So, Cloud! What can you tell us about Junon?
Cloud: It's a key military outpost with its own offshore reactor. A critical line of defense against any seabourne assault. When needed, it can transform into an armed fortress. Its strategic location, along with its air and seaports, make it second only to Midgar as the company's most vital city.
Aerith: Huh, neat. Any good restaurants? Sights to see?
Cloud: Uh, maybe? I dunno.
Aerith: Ah, right. You're not the touristy type.
Barret: Hey... Just to be clear, you do realize we're not here on vacation, right?
Aerith: (defensively) O-of course I do!
During the party's planning on infiltrating the parade in order to get close to Rufus to ask some pointed questions, Barret's suggestion gets turned down by Cloud:
Tifa: We can't just walk up to the president in the street.
Cloud: (Beat) Or maybe we can.
(Tifa and Aerith both look curiously towards Cloud)
Barret: We bust up his parade!
Cloud: No, that's how we die in a hail of bullets like a bunch of dumbasses. The city's crawling with Shinra troopers.
Barret protests when Cloud sends him and Red out for reconaissance:
Cloud: Barret, Red. You guys find a route to the port; see what security's like. And keep an eye out for black robes while you're at it.
Barret: Now hold up!
Cloud: Fatigues won't be enough to disguise you two.
Barret: (looks down at his 6'6", 300 lb body at the realization)
Red XIII: True enough.
Barret: (defeatedly) Shuddup...
When Cloud departs to disguise himself as a regular Shinra grunt, Tifa and Aerith insist on joining him, much to his dismay.
- Rather than raid lockers like in the original game, Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith practically receive their disguises on a silver platter, as an officer mistakes them for latecomer troops and just lets them into the locker room. The girls get a little excited about the whole disguise ordeal, acting like they're cosplaying.
- If Cloud attempts to walk into the occupied changing areas while Tifa and Aerith are suiting up, the girls will call him out and Cloud will dutifully step back.
- When Cloud finishes changing, the girls sneak up on him and hold him at gunpoint. After that, they pull pinup poses with the assault rifles like they're in some old action film.
- Cloud's carrying his sword in place of the standard issue assault rifle when disguised. Looks like that's the one thing he won't discard when trying to blend in.
Upon exiting the locker room, Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith run smack into the Midgar 7th Infantry commander's adjutant, who closely inspects them after noting that they weren't at practice. The good news is that despite staring at their faces within spitting distance, he fails to realize that he's got three members of Avalanche right in front of him. The bad news is that the adjutant is pissed off enough to demand the three "troopers" perform the basic rifle drill in front of the commander, jokingly threatening to feed their asses to a behemoth if they fail.
- Cloud's (and Tifa's and Aerith's) first words as fake troopers don't exactly give the adjutant a good impression.
  Adjutant: Am I to assume you just forgot? [to go to drill rehearsal]
  Cloud: Sorry, sir!
  Tifa and Aerith: (look at Cloud, then snap back to attention) Sorry, sir!
  Adjutant: You're sorry?!
After watching Cloud's performance, the Midgar 7th Infantry commander decides to promote him to parade captain. Next thing Cloud knows, just as he takes off the generic trooper helmet, the adjutant quickly forces a captain's helmet onto him (fast enough to have elicited a grunt of pain).
The entire Junon parade sequence is hilarious for how cartoonish the entire thing is, from the Sousa-esque choral music during the practice session to the goofy way the units march off as you round each of them up. It also never gets old seeing the various ways a member of each unit fails to notice Cloud is their captain, and them shitting their pants once they realize they just told their commanding officer to go away.
Searching for the individual platoons that make up the 7th Infantry can get silly:
- One trio of grunts is trying to pose with a Rufus cutout for a photo. The cameraman in the trio asks Cloud to take the photo, and if Cloud gets it 100% right, the trooper whose camera was used will contemplate framing the picture.
- One bunch of bored troopers is checking out the Sister Ray, commenting upon its current state of being. They'll freak out when they realize that the captain's right behind them. But before that...
  Trooper A: An instrument of death, laid to rest! Huh. There is something kinda poetic about that.
  Trooper B: If you find rust poetic...
- One pair of troopers is admiring a scale model of the Sister Ray in the weapons shop, only getting freaked out when they realize Cloud's the captain.
- One pair of troopers is inside a jewelry store. The first one, a guy who wants to impress his girlfriend, asks his female comrade if he should buy a brooch. She takes one look at it and shoots it down because it has two machine guns on it. He admits she's right, and says he should get the one with two bayonets instead. When Cloud shows up the guy asks for his opinion, and the girl shoves him away and tells him not to bother the captain with his triviality.
- In a storeroom, a set of troopers is slacking off trying to figure out which formation would please the crowds the most whilst utilizing all the units. When Cloud shows up, they ask for his advice. All Cloud can give is an improvised morale-booster speech that doubles as a Stealth Insult: the formation will depend on the readiness of his men.
- In the barracks, a 7th Infantry platoon leader, along with his subordinates, is responding to a TV reporter's questions. When Cloud shows up and addresses the platoon, the reporter switches to interviewing him. Cloud's awkwardness nearly blows his disguise until the platoon leader saves him, by mis-interpreting Cloud's lack of information as a tactic to keep the drill formations a secret until the parade starts. As the platoon leaves to join the others, the cameraman and the reporter follow along.
- In the briefing room, Cloud finds a quartet of troopers practicing like crazy. The troopers are determined to impress Rufus during the parade. Cloud immediately tells them that it's time for the real deal.
  - It is also possible to find a few troopers slacking when they should be taking their duties seriously. One is hiding in a locker room, petting his cats as though he were the Shinra counterpart to Wedge. The other can be found in the barracks, bragging to himself about how he can easily hide behind a billiards table when he's supposed to be on duty.
  - In contrast to the above pair of slackers, one trooper is found cram-studying because he wants to take the entry exams for the SOLDIER program.
- The silliest location to find a platoon appears to be a "clean-shaven people only" bar that Rude frequents, the Glabrescent Bar (bald bars like this do exist in real life) that not only has its own theme that the patrons sing but its own salute, a rub of the waxed domes. Rude doesn't even put two-and-two together enough to realize that it's Cloud under the captain's helmet when the latter interrupts a drinking song.
- Elena is drowning her sorrows at Le Sourire, shooing away Cloud if he tries to talk to her. Think about it for a minute. She was that close to making the arrest of a lifetime, and missed it by that much.
  Elena: (if Cloud talks to her) I'm busy being sad.
- Cloud can run into Chadley in the barracks. The latter freaks out at first but then rolls with Cloud's disguise so as not to attract unwanted attention, even asking if the "Captain" requires his assistance.
- Running into Red XIII shows him being bothered by kids who want to pet him.
- Barret found a disguise and is patting away lint. What's the disguise? An extra-large white sailor suit, with a hook and bandages replacing Barret's gun arm. Barret doesn't recognize Cloud and the girls at first when the latter play a prank to make him think he's been busted, forcing Barret to verbally backpedal after they reveal themselves.
  Aerith: (imitating a Shinra trooper) Hey!
  Barret: (in a panicked tone) Hey there! I was just checking my uniform. For lint! Y'all know how it is!
  Tifa and Aerith: (start laughing)
  Barret: (realizing who these "troopers" are) Hah hah, very funny. I coulda shot you!
  Tifa: You look...
  Barret: What?
  Tifa: Wow...
  Tifa and Aerith: (resume laughing)
  Barret: It's not like I had a choice! Nothing else fit!
Right before the parade starts, the disguised Cloud is called upon to give a motivational speech, unfortunately he freezes up, cue Tifa and Aerith giving a pair of rousing speeches, causing Cloud to snap out of it and finish the speech with a surprising verbal flourish. Unfortunately, he gets a bit too into it and has to be dragged away from the troops by Tifa and Aerith when he gets too into character pumping up the troops!
When the parade finally starts up, quite a few drill teams are showing their stuff. Roche, who is part of the Midgar mobile security drill team, is pulling unorthodox tricks totally out of sync with the other motorcyclists in his group.
There are two results that can happen based on how well Cloud and the 7th Infantry perform during the parade:
- If the drill team doesn't get a high enough score, Midgar's mobile unit will win the performance competition, resulting in Roche pulling motorcycle tricks on the spot in victory. Oh, and Roche also manages to get a marker so he can "autograph" the TV camera looking at him, like at the end of a tennis match. After that, he'll ride his motorcycle straight up the ramp to the stage, catching air and narrowly missing Heidegger in the process in his move to get the award.
- If the 7th Infantry win (achievement: Stealing the Show), Roche and his fellow motorcyclists will freak out, as will several other units.
  Roche: NOOO!! Say it ain't so!
Yuffie, disguised in a Moogle hoodie, is impersonating a cameraman. Well, she's not doing a great job at that.
After Yuffie fails to kill Rufus, things get quite hairy. Cloud is forced to partake in the search for "co-conspirators in disguise." As the 7th Infantry troopers accompany him, they inform him that they're going to treat other units as hostile by default, essentially playing "hunt the imposter." It never occurred to them that their own captain might be the "imposter."
The end to Cloud's "security sweep" to the port ends in the training grounds. The good news is that nobody has successfully outed Cloud as an imposter. The bad news is that Roche was waiting for Cloud in the arena, along with a marching band and plenty of troopers who want to spectate a duel between SOLDIERs. And the sequence up to the fight is ridiculous.
As they're about to part ways after Cloud's duel with Roche, the troopers following him have a question.
Cloud: About the jackass on the bike? He's... (Beat) ... A jackass.
Trooper: That we know, sir!
Cloud and his friends manage to bluff their way onto the Shinra-8. While Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa get second-class cabins, Barret is stuck in the staff quarters and Red XIII gets relegated to the hold because Captain Titov mistakes him for a pet.
As the Shina-8 sets sail, Kyrie (who had spent the past few chapters fraudulently selling herself as a mercenary, claiming the credit for the good deeds Cloud and the party have been accomplishing in their journey) runs onto the dock screaming that the ship can't leave yet, as she's supposed to be a passenger. Turns out karma can really bite back hard.

Chapter 5: Blood in the Water

In the 2nd-Class Cabins, the southeastern door is locked. If you approach it, you can hear Yuffie inside desperately calling to be let out, as she's stuck inside with the Blacked-Robed men and their moanings of "Re...un...ion...". This becomes doubly funny when you find out she got onto the boat in the first place by disguising herself as one of them!
Even though the party members are free to change out of their disguises, Barret keeps his sailor outfit on just because it's comfortable. Plus, he still blends in with the crew.
For lack of anything better to do on the Shinra-8, Cloud can join the Queen's Blood tournament. He's going to run into plenty of opponents...
- One opponent is a robot that was programmed to play Queen's Blood. So far, the robot hasn't won a single game.
- Another potential opponent is Madam M. When Cloud momentarily seems to not recognize her, she reminds him that they shared an "intimate moment" in Wall Market. Cloud responds "No, I remember. You're pretty hard to forget" as he looks down at and holds the hand she massaged.
- Barret sings the original game over song when defeated.
- Tifa challenges Cloud with quite the air.
  Tifa: So it's come to this...
  Cloud: Sucks to be you.
  Tifa: That so? Because I came prepared to win. Think you can take me?
  Cloud: (mockingly) "I guess we'll find out."
  Tifa: Okay, wise guy. Show me whatcha got.
- Aerith is pissed at the idea that Cloud has to go easy on her.
  Aerith: Okay! I'm ready when you are!
  Cloud: Want me to go easy?
  Aerith: (indignantly) "Want me to go easy?"
  Cloud: (chuckling) Alright. Your funeral, though.
  Aerith: Oh, there'll be a funeral alright. I'm gonna bury you!
- Andrea jokingly says he'll make Cloud dance again if he loses the match.
- Chadley somehow got aboard the ship, just to face Cloud in a match. Yeah, let that sink in.
- As Cloud keeps winning, the receptionist keeps getting covered in more Cloud-based merchandise.
- For his first attempt at entering the Queen's Blood tournament, Red XIII simply tries to go as himself, but alas, "animals" are not allowed to participate. Red becomes indignant with the timeless classic "I want to speak to your manager!"
  - Right as Cloud is about to be announced as the winner, Red makes his hamtastic entrance.
    Red XIII: Not so fast, good captain! I've yet to show my hand!
    (Red moonwalks backwards, causing Captain Titov to drop his microphone in surprise)
  - For his second (and more successful attempt), Red disguises himself as a Shinra trooper and somehow manages to walk around on his hind legs. That is itself funny enough, but him almost-perfectly executing a Michael Jackson-esque dance to show off, and obscure the fact he's quadrapedal? Hilarious.
    Cloud: Seriously?
    Red XIII: Though I am far from humanoid, the illusion can be maintained — with the aid of a little flamboyance. Impressed?
    Cloud: No.
  - Right after having done a spin worthy of Michael Jackson...
    Red XIII: Two legs? Nothin'... to it. (immediately stumbles off balance)
  - Though, Red's disguise is not completely without flaws, such as him struggling to stay upright a few times, moving around to sit down on the challenger's chair, as well as the fact his snout and tail are completely visible through the uniform and (almost) nobody bats an eye at it.
    Boy in crowd: (starts loudly sobbing) Mom!!
    Boy's mother: It can't hurt you.
  - While the above happens, Cloud's face on the side and off-focus reveals he's completely flabbergasted.
  - Despite all his attempts to act refined and mature, Red really does show he's Not So Above It All.
    Red XIII: I've issued you a challenge, Cloud. Face me — if you dare.
    Cloud: Yeah, hard pass. I've had enough cards for one night.
    Aerith: C'mon Cloud! Kick his butt!
    Tifa: You got this, Red!
    Barret: Oh yeah! It's on!
    Captain Titov: It appears that Cloud has agreed to play an exhibition match! One last time — get ready to shuffle!
    (Cloud makes his usual "I don't get paid enough for this crap" face)
    Red XIII: (evil cackle)
  - ... Which is followed by Cloud essentially going "screw it," and instantly gearing up to the challenge as if it were the final battle of a major arc in a card game anime^note, complete with striking a pose (which causes Aerith, Barret, and Tifa to stare, utterly transfixed at what they are seeing) and throwing a card into the camera to transition into the match.
- If Cloud wins the tournament, he'll hold up the trophy and hum the battle victory theme.
- And after the tournament, when everyone is walking to their rooms, Red is still walking upright, but without the flamboyance. So he's basically walking like a dog on its hind legs, with his paws tucked up to his chest for balance.

Chapter 6: Fool's Paradise

For those who abandoned all the Segway-inspired scooters all over the place, a side quest has you round them up. This can either be considered some form of payback for the player by making them clean up after other inconsiderate people, or Hoist by His Own Petard if you take the view you're grabbing all the ones you left around. One has to wonder if Square took note of what players were doing in testing.
Barret, as someone who "uses firearms for a living" (read: has a giant gun grafted to his arm) is banned from playing the pirate shooter minigame, and not happy about it.
Attendant: Sorry, but I can't allow you to play this game. Amateurs only; that's our policy.
Barret: (annoyed) Oh, it is, is it? Why didn't you speak up sooner!? I don't see any signs either! This is false advertisin', you know that?
Cloud: I'll do it.
Barret: Just don't embarrass us.
The beach sequence is hilarious for multiple reasons:
- Firstly, Tifa and Aerith show up with their beachwear at Costa del Sol, walking down the steps in slow motion while a dance mix of Tifa's theme plays, before asking Red how they look. Red's voice cracks in surprise before he clears his throat. Yuffie also spies on them from around a corner, clearly jealous of the attention they're getting.
  Aerith: Well, Red? How do we look?
  Red XIII: (in his natural voice) Huh? (clears throat and goes back to his grizzled "professional" voice) Tifa, you look... as sleek as a dolphin. And Aerith as... diaphanous as a jellyfish.
  Red XIII: (alternately) Tifa looks... as majestic as a breaching whale. And you, Aerith... are as luminous as a sea snail.
  (both girls look at each other in confusion)
  Tifa: That your way of complimenting us?
  Red XIII: Human beauty is... hard for me to assess.
  (Yuffie spying around a corner meanwhile storms off in a huff)
- Which is nothing compared to how Cloud acts when he sees his two love interests in bikinis, with him glancing at Tifa's breasts briefly. The poor guy is left a stuttering mess and when asked what's wrong he merely states that "it's hot... in the sun". Cloud is also very quick to walk over to the pair when he sees them surrounded by guys trying to pick them up.
  (Aerith and Tifa start walking over, surrounded by guys)
  Barret: Look at these two, not even trying to blend in. Honestly...
  Aerith: Did you miss us?
  (Cloud has a clear instance of cloud.exe has stopped working)
  Tifa: (bending over) Cloud? Something wrong?
  (Cloud desperately tries not to stare at Tifa's chest)
  Cloud: Uh... No, nothing... It's just hot... in the sun. Speaking of which, you guys should probably put on... s-sunscreen.
  (if Cloud is wearing a shirt as his beachwear)
  Aerith: Sunscreen? Is that really all you have to say to us?
  (alternatively depending on affection)
  Tifa: Think I'm pretty good as-is.
  Aerith: Okay. Can you get my back then?
  (alternatively if Cloud is going shirtless)
  Tifa: You might wanna go first.
  Aerith: That's some sage advice, Mr. Pasty.
Just when it looks like Hojo's about to capture everyone, Cloud included, Yuffie and Johnny save the day. How? Yuffie uses her ninjutsu to make a team of Johnny clones to carry robed people around, and when Hojo's Grasptropod captures the clones, they are revealed to be moogle-shaped bombs.
When Yuffie shows herself, complete with a dramatic intro and a long-winded introduction speech, including a dramatic landing right in front of the group, Cloud who is watching with folded arms and complete disinterest just says "Cool." and walks away, making Yuffie's entrance a Failed Attempt at Drama.
- She'll follow by challenging Cloud to a duel, the player can either take up or tell her to beat it. If you pick the former, Cloud silently begins drawing his sword, cue a panicked Yuffie who did not expect Cloud would go for it. Making excuses to try to disarm the situation while all the while Cloud is still slowly, silently drawing his blade, before she exclaims "Tactical Retreat!" and runs away.
  (if the player selects "Bring it")
  (Cloud proceeds to grip the handle of his sword)
  Yuffie: Wait... seriously? (starts backing away as Cloud advances) I mean, uh... we don't actually have to fight. (timidly) That is, unless you really want to?
  (beat)
  Yuffie: Abort! Abort! Tactical retreat! (starts running away in a panic)
  Barret: The hell is her deal?
- Yuffie's recruitment in Rebirth couldn't be anymore different than the original game. Back then, you had to go out of your way to find and recruit her^*, but this time, it's the other way around, regardless of your dialogue choices to her. Even if you make dialogue choices that cause her to run off, she'll come back in seconds if you try to leave! She's so determined to join the party that she'll resort to begging if you keep refusing until Cloud eventually caves in.

Chapter 7: Those Left Behind

Barret, still not trusting of Yuffie, warns her that if she tries anything funny, he'll shove her in the Sister Ray, point it at Wutai, and fire.
While climbing up Mt. Corel, Aerith has difficulty keeping up, leading the party to split up with Cloud and Red making sure Aerith is okay. Later on:
Cloud: You still holding up okay?
Aerith: Yeah, feelin' great actually! I could do this all day! (getting loopy) It's like...it's like someone's pulling me up!
Red: You've become one with the mountain.
Cloud: Say what?
Aerith: (spaced) Really? I did? Hey, thanks for having me!
Cloud: (whispering) The hell are you doin', Red?
Red: (whispering) Relax, it happens to all new climbers. If she passes out I'll carry her.
Aerith: (even more spaced) Let's go!
Yuffie's reaction to seeing a Weapon: begging the party to help her fish the thing out of the ruined reactor's mako pool so she can rip the gigantic materia orb out of it.
One of the baby chicks that was nesting on the controls to the mine cart took a shine to Barret, trying to land on his head or shoulder, much to his irritation in contrast to Tifa and Yuffie's amusement. The chick's head feathers prompts the girls to nickname it "Cloud, Jr.", which in turn causes the chick to turn around and glare at them indignantly, causing more laughter from the girls.
The mine cart sequence is good for a few laughs.
- Going down the first drop:
  Yuffie: (screaming at the top of her lungs) I'm too young to die!
- After a Ramp Jump accessed via Barret's route that any coaster would be proud of:
  Yuffie: I hate you, Cloud! You're dead, you spiky-haired l— agh!
- If you take Barret's route, upon reaching the end the man is probably the happiest he's been seen so far:
  Yuffie: I'm seein' stars... Cloud... you're so gonna pay for this...
  Barret: (beaming) Give the man a break. I think it was a memorable experience.
After the team reunites over the mine rails, all three girls are amused at the resemblance the chick newly dubbed Cloud, Jr. has to Cloud after it lands on his shoulder, who is about done. Even the subtitles get in on this.
Cloud: Kill me.
A villager spitefully pours his drink on Barret. If you stick around, you can hear the guy realize he is out of booze and lament wasting his drink.

Chapter 8: All That Glitters

Yuffie undergoes a magical girl-style transformation when swept up in a dance at the Gold Saucer, and loops Aerith and Tifa into an idol-style performance that trounces even Andrea Rhodea when he instigates a Dance-Off. When Dio shows up, however, she's too busy drooling over him to dance, and ends up swooning when he does a shirtless pec flex.
- A minor moment pops up during this scene. As the dance is occuring, Red XIII hops onto Barret's back to get a better look. Barret can be heard saying "Get off!"
Yuffie proposes that they enjoy themselves a bit at Gold Saucer, with Tifa and Aerith readily agreeing when they put it to a vote. Barret vehemently dissents, then all eyes turn to Red... who sheepishly raises a paw in favor, prompting Yuffie to start petting him and praising him for being a good boy. Oddly enough, Red does not protest.
After "defeating" Dio in a forced round of the 3D Brawler at the Gold Saucer's entrance and then getting the Golden Ticket, Aerith teases about Cloud's dancing at the Honey Bee Inn back in Remake.
Tifa: Nicely done.
Yuffie: Bet you were pretty nervous.
Cloud: Nah.
Aerith: Cloud's used to performing in front of crowds. You should've seen him at the Honeybee Inn.
Cloud: (sharply) Aerith.
Yuffie: Oh, you've got to tell me that one later!
While going to the hotel, Barret becomes disgusted by the trivial use of mako to power the park, and angrily stomps on an animatronic corpse hand, and kicks over a tombstone... which vanishes in a puff of smoke and is replaced by a fat moogle.
???: What do we have here? A man with a rain cloud over his head! So how about a reading to clear those somber skies? Whether it be dark or bright, I'll read your future right! Just... dinnae go shootin' the messenger, eh?
Barret: (examining the moogle) This some kinda toy?
Cait Sith: (previously unnoticed) Yoo-hoo, lads. Eyes up here!
When Cloud and Barret run into the issue of the Ghost Mansion being booked full, Cait Sith hacks the system to "free up" two suites.
Cait Sith: You there—dangly man. Would ye mind checking again?
- Later on, it's revealed that it was Palmer's reservation for him, Rude, and Elena that Cait had cancelled. One has to wonder how much Reeve dislikes Palmer...
When the Turks try to check in at the hotel's front desk, the upside-down receptionist's appearance garners different reactions. While Rude isn't phased in the slightest, Elena screams from the top of her lungs and breathes heavily.
Upon entering his room, Cloud sees a Tonberry wielding a knife and reaches for his sword, before realising it's a humidifier.
Barret leaves Cloud to get some rest, and says he'll go for a walk. But he emphasises the fact that he is not going to have fun.
During Aerith's date sequence, she starts commentating on the race being shown in Chocobo Square, complete with accent, and even manages to get Cloud in on the action.
Aerith: (in a stereotypical play-by-play commentator voice) This is some kinda race today, folks. In all my years in the booth, only seen a couple this close! So, Cloud, which bird do you think is gonna take home the win?
Cloud: (in a color commentator impression) Well, Aerith, considering their plumage and breeding, I think the choice is clear.
Yuffie's sequence has some funny moments.
(the duo notice Jessie's portrait on the theatre wall)
Yuffie: What? You... know her or somethin'?
Cloud: She was a friend.
Yuffie: What? No way. I didn't think you had friends!
Cloud: Might've just been screwin' with me.
Yuffie: Yeah, well, you're lucky she even did that!
Cloud: I know.
Yuffie: I swear, Cloud... It's like you're destined to be surrounded by smokin'-hot chicks. (strikes a pose)
Cloud: (chuckles) Lucky me, huh.
Yuffie: This way, babe magnet.
If Tifa is Cloud's companion, Aerith will be alone in Speed Square. If spoken to she tries to make Cloud jealous by suggesting that she find someone else to accompany her. This seems to work a little too well, with Cloud overreacting, and then having to invent a pretty weak justification on why she shouldn't do this. It's clear Aerith and Tifa don't buy it one bit.
Aerith: There must be someone out there who'd wanna hang out with a cool person like me.
Cloud: (very firmly) Stop it.
Aerith: Hmm?
Cloud: This isn't the time to go making new friends. (to Tifa) Right?
Tifa: (facetiously) Yeah. You heard the man, Aerith.
Cloud: Uh... (clearly trying to think of an excuse) All I'm saying is, anyone can put on a friendly face. Including Shinra spies. They could be anywhere, waiting to pounce.
Aerith & Tifa: (burst into laughter)
- For extra irony, this is after the party encounter Cait Sith, who is a Shinra spy putting on a friendly face. And as a cat robot, pretty much literally waiting to pounce. Meaning Cloud is Right for the Wrong Reasons.
Alternatively, if Cloud is by himself, a similar exchange takes place, along with Cloud missing Aerith's blatant hint. The irony is that this means Cloud is unknowingly jealous of himself:
Aerith: Lemme guess: got lonely up in the room?
Cloud: No...
Aerith: Look at all these happy couples... Kinda jealous. I mean, this place isn't much fun by yourself. There must be someone who'd hang out with a cool person like me.
Cloud: Stop it.
Aerith: Hm?
Cloud: We're not here to make friends.
Aerith: Uh...?
If Cloud does poorly at the Galactic Saviors mini game, Tifa is understanding, but Aerith and Yuffie are not too impressed.
Aerith: If I ever go into space, remind me to find a new bodyguard, okay?
Solemn Gus' theme song is sheer disco cheese.
Elena ranting to Rude about having to wear a black suit in the desert, having heat stroke and demanding ice cream, but refuses to have vanilla. In the next scene, she is happily enjoying a sea salt ice cream pop.
The Anuran Suppressor fight, mainly because of Palmer being in control of said mech and most of its attacks in the first phase ending with it falling on its back. It's quite the whiplash from the emotionally charged Barret vs Dyne fight to Cloud and the rest of the party (Minus Barret) fighting Palmer who at that point, is pissed off from the bad day he's been having.
Palmer: Hand these posters out, Palmer. Booking's canceled, Palmer. Security's been slaughtered, Palmer! Your chocobo came last, Palmer! I've had it! And now you're going to pay! I'm a director! And you will show me some respect!
When Dio gifts the party the buggy, he gets into a handshake with Cloud and tries the old "assert dominance by squeezing hard". Cloud gets what he's going for a moment later and leaves Dio shaking his hand and smiling in spite of it.
When trying to shake Elena off the buggy, Tifa ends up driving one side of the buggy up an incline, leading it to flip over in the air before miraculously landing right side up.
Cait Sith: What is wrong with you people?!
Reeve is humming Cait's theme while modifying Cloud, Tifa, and Barret's pictures on the Wanted poster to completely different people.

Chapter 9: The Planet Stirs

The chapter starts off with Yuffie ready to puke from the buggy ride, causing both Barret and Cait Sith to panic.
Yuffie: That's it. I can't.
Barret: Wait! Just- Just wait! We'll find somewhere to-
Yuffie: Urp... Ugh...!
Barret: Pull over! She's about to pop!
Cait Sith: Wait, lassie! Not in the buggy! Not in the buggy!!!
Cait Sith breaks up the tension by proposing a fortune reading to help the group figure out where to go. Barret and Cloud are unenthused because they already know the readings are mostly useless, but Aerith is enthusiastic. Sure enough, the reading is about how mushrooms are a lucky food.
Yuffie hearing that there's a rundown reactor near Gongaga (with the potential for giant materia in a Weapon) makes her jump up and forget she was suffering from carsickness. And then she collapses again.
When Cait Sith harvests a large mushroom, Cissnei unceremoniously yanks it away from him.
When everyone starts praying at the memorial, Yuffie looks around confused, with no idea what they are doing.
Cloud can find Yuffie lounging on Cissnei's couch in Gongaga singing about being bored and wanting materia to her theme. Picking the "funny lyrics" choice will result in her singing about getting all the materia.
When everyone hears that something's going on at the reactor, Barret tasks Yuffie with keeping the village safe along with the other girls, mostly because he doesn't want to get dragged into fishing a Weapon.
After the incident at the Gongaga mako reactor, Cloud and Tifa have a heart-to-heart... that is spoiled by Yuffie and Cait Sith eavesdropping. Hearing them giggling and Yuffie whispering "kiss, kiss" Tifa opens the door to reveal Yuffie awkwardly crouched with Cait Sith standing on her shoulders, the two of them promptly faceplanting onto the floor.
While waiting for the plane, Yuffie gets impatient and attempts to summon it faster with a little "ritual", which is just using flag semaphore (making gestures with flags to communicate, but without the flags). After the first attempt turns up ziltch, she tries again, this time while Aerith imitates her just a little out of sync.

Chapter 10: Watcher of the Vale

Red's real voice puts off Barret quite a bit, as though he'd witnessed a wise sage exposed as some kid with a fake beard.
A tourist NPC comments that he believes his prayers and meditations have made the Planet grant him the ability to talk to animals because he witnessed Red XIII talking.
Yuffie is disappointed in that none of the materia she'd seen was real.
The fact that Barret is selected to oversee Red's trial.
Barret: Can't you at least pretend not to hate me?

Chapter 11: The Long Shadow of Shinra

On first meeting Vincent, some of his attempts at appearing threatening can come across as pretty weird - he backflips out of his coffin, then when Cloud asks who he is he gives the party his name and seems to be about to reveal his actual identity - before dramatically raising his arm and announcing he's 'security'. To top it all off he can't figure out how the card reader works and tries hitting it, deflating the tension when Cait Sith climbs up on his shoulder to show him and Vincent goes "Oh".
To her credit, Scarlet gets in a good riff when the enigmatic Wutaian viceroy, Sarruf, fails to materialise during Glenn's big broadcast.
Scarlet: Who exactly is this "Sarruf"? The invisible man?
- Given the implication that he is the viceroy the annoyed sigh Rufus lets out in response is itself pretty funny for a couple of reasons. Either it's out of exasperation of Glenn going off-script to essentially troll him, or its frustration that Shinra's own war ploy is now out of his control.

Chapter 12: A Golden Key

After disembarking the Tiny Bronco at Costa del Sol, Vincent wanders off to brood and Barret grumps that having one standoffish loner in the group was bad enough. Cloud agrees... before indignantly realizing that Barret was talking about him:
Tifa: Wait a sec. Where's Vincent?
(Vincent is shown walking off several feet away. Red XIII takes notice)
Red XIII: Up there.
(The rest of the party also see where Vincent went)
Barret: Another loner... As if one wasn't enough of a pain in my ass.
Cloud: Yeah, one's more than enough.
(Tifa holds in a chuckle as Cloud walks off. The latter stops for a moment, then quickly turns toward Barret)
(Beat)
Cloud: You mean me?!
(Everyone else other than Cloud begins to laugh)
While working on a draft of "No Promises to Keep", Aerith is naturally not too happy about Cait Sith trying to spy on her progress:
Aerith: (menacingly, as she grabs Cait Sith by the cheeks) They say that curiosity killed the cat.
The Loveless play, as a spiritual successor of the play in the original game has numerous hilarious moments:
- Picking Varvados (Barret) as Alphreid's true love results in Barret being so shocked that he breaks character. He then seems tempted to take Alphreid's hand for a moment, before angrily shoving Aphreid back and proceeding to his "Love is naught but an illusion" speech.
  Varvados: Are you kiddin' me right now?
- Picking Garm (Red XIII) as Alphreid's true love results in a stunned "Alphreid?" from Red that has to be heard to be believed. Garm then puts his paw in Alphreid's hand who gets ready to kiss it, with Garm looking starry eyed... before Varvados proceeds to shoot up the place. Garm then proceeds to run back to Varvados' side and furiously accuses Alphreid of toying with his emotions.
- Aerith, Tifa, and Yuffie all play Rosa with different tones. Yuffie in particular often lapses into her normal speech patterns, while Tifa and Aerith tend to use flowery poetic language more suited for the setting.
  Alphreid: Rosa! How did you find me?
  Yuffie!Rosa: Ye olde princess intuition, I guess. You can thank me later.
  
  (after vanquishing Varvados)
  Yuffie!Rosa: Talk about a close call — but hey, we made it.
- When the option to select Rosa is given in the various sequences, the girls all have different poses while the selection is hovering over them. Aerith's in particular tend to be more romantic, while Yuffie's lean to the comedic.
- If you hover over Varvados during the selection of Alphreid's true love in Act III, he will point to himself in an "Oh me?" kind of way, before ducking his face and rubbing the back of his head like an embarrassed schoolgirl.
- When spinning Yuffie around (who also spins a lot more than the other two girls) upon catching her, she outright swoons.
- A small detail, but the poster for Loveless specifies that the version being put on by the Gold Saucer is the "G Edition", heavily implying that the version the party performs was written by Genesis, of all people.
During Aerith's "No Promises To Keep" song number, if Yuffie is Cloud's date, she bemoans "there goes my time in the spotlight" as Aerith begins. Later she pantomimes having a microphone and singing along like a pop star in a dramatic fashion, and Cloud silently scolds her.
- Upon exiting the theater, Yuffie vows that next time she'll be the leading lady. Cloud asks what she intends to sing. The materia song?
The "Others" date, consisting of Cait Sith, Cid and Vincent. Bless his heart, Cait tries so hard to make the Skywheel ride engaging, but the other three just aren't having it; Vincent even falls asleep.
Riding the Skywheel with Yuffie has her spin the gondola around and around until her motion sickness catches up with her. The rest of the ride is equal parts humorous and cute as she tells him about her encounters with Zack (who she never names) and how he'd humor her by letting her "beat" him with her "energy blasts". Eventually she gets annoyed with Cloud and motions shooting one at him and he starts acting like he was hit, which she appreciates. When they get off, he says if he tells anyone about that he's a dead man and then runs off.
Riding the Skywheel with Red XIII he makes Cloud promise to protect Aerith, and makes him shake on it, causing Cloud to comment that Red's paws are soft in a callback to a conversation back in Corel where Red refused to let Aerith feel his paws.
After the date and starting the Battle for Naming Rights so the team can get the Keystone, Dio is about to give out a grand speech, but Don Corneo, Scotch, and Kotch interrupt him by Scotch and Kotch rapping and with Don Corneo on the turntables.
Scotch: (rapping) A-yo, nobody wanna hear your shit, old man!
Kotch: (rapping) Mic check, one two, one two!
Scotch & Kotch: (rapping) How about you shut up and let us give these folks a real show? I hate to break it to you bitch, but you're out! See ya! (See ya!) Don't need ya! (Take a bow!) Next up, it's your boys Scotch and Kotch! Bringin' you the thrill of fight—one unforgettable night!
Kotch: (rapping) Time for the Battle for Naming Rights!
Scotch: (rapping) "Gold Saucer"? Take that shit and throw it straight in the trash! "Corneoland" has got the real panache! All my sexy ladies, come on down! You could be a queen, come and claim your crown!
Don Cornoe: (on the turntables) Ho! Hee! Ho! Hee! Hehehe! Check it out!
Kotch: (rapping) Don't stop or doubt the don, 'cause the fam and the fools about to get it on! Two teams enter, only one's gonna shine. Gloves are comin' off, pride is on the line. Sparks gonna fly and I'mma get mine. So make some noise for the soon-to-be losers!
Scotch: (rapping) Step up! Lemme see a clean, fair fith! Nonstop! Even if it takes all night! I wanna hear you scream till you can't no more. The fun don't stop till the bodies hit the floor!
Kotch: (rapping) That's enough super hot fire for the intro.
Scotch: (rapping) Fam's comin' in to take you out—here we go!
The second round of the Battle for Naming Rights features several cactaurs with the same blonde pompadour Don Corneo has, all called "Cacneo." The third round features a trio of tonberries, with the largest of the trio also having Don Corneo's blonde pompadour as well as his tattoo and wearing a red robe with fur trim just like his coat, and is named "Donberry."
After defeating Don Corneo, the threats to his manhood return, not just with Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith, but Barret and Red XIII joining in, too.
Cloud: (his sword embedded in the ground between Don's legs) We cuttin' em off?
Aerith: Or should we rip 'em off?
Tifa: That or... smash 'em maybe?
Barrett: (gun pointed at Don) Let's fill 'em with lead.
Red XIII: (with his gruff voice) Don't bother. I'll just bite them off.
- Corneo berates Avalanche, whining that they're picking on a "small business owner" in the most whiny voice imaginable, before telling them to kiss his ass, and making his escape on Abzu.
Corneo: Hi-ho my sewer stallion!
After Cait Sith runs off with the Keystone, the Turks pick a fight with the gang... and Dio cuts them off, insisting that both parties have a chance to rest up before the fight. Cue his staff members bringing in the full regalia of a typical rest area and setting it up in the middle of the ring, including a bench for Rude and Elena, who you can even go and talk to before the bout, with Elena claiming to be none too happy about being forced to wait while resting on the bench herself.

Chapter 13: Where Angels Fear to Tread

Aerith, Yuffie, and Red fight Tseng and Elena to a standstill in the Temple of the Ancients. While the player wins the fight the pair of Turks are far from done. That is until the ceiling collapses in on them thanks to Cloud's finishing blow against Reno and Rude directly above them.
- Right before the fight Yuffie baits the Turks into attacking by calling them cowards and making chicken noises. Elena retorts right back by asking if they got lost, since there should be six of them. Red reminds her three is still more than two.
Sephiroth stabs Tseng and turns to Cloud and his allies, and as he begins to talk to them, a shot rings out and he reverts to a robed figure, who collapses to reveal Tseng shot him. The idea that someone invoked Why Don't You Just Shoot Him? in the middle of Sephiroth's monologue is amusing enough, but there's also Sephiroth's expression as he disperses, which is mostly surprise at what happened but also a bit of irritation, as though he's upset that Tseng interrupted him.
Tseng staggers to his feet after Sephiroth impales him, and when Aerith asks what he's doing, he simply replies that he has a report to make.

Chapter 14: End of the World

A subtle moment during the alternate timeline date sequence which is easily missed, is when Cloud gives a bit of a blunt assessment of the unpleasant-tasting candy he tries, compared to Aerith's more diplomatic feedback. Aerith turns to the stall owner in apology before silently admonishing him with a "you shouldn't say that" look. Cloud then responds with a "what, you know I'm right" expression, with the implication that their wordless exchange carries on out of frame as the camera pans elsewhere.
Upon realizing that Aerith has managed to pull a successful Batman Gambit on him by getting the properly-powered White Materia over across timelines after all his seeming work to de-power it in this one, Sephiroth's response is to grumble, "Very poor form" in annoyance, as if to imply that he's a bit of a Sore Loser about the mere idea that she turned his own interdimensional hijinks against him.
A brief break in the emotionally fraught final chapter: when Zack appears to join Cloud in his fight against Sephiroth, he angrily asks how Sephiroth could betray everything they stood for as SOLDIERs. Sephiroth's reply is a deadpan "Very easily."
- In more of a Black Comedy realization, the fact that Sephiroth has worked very hard across both games up to this point to try to send Cloud over the Despair Event Horizon with Aerith's death so he could exploit that rage via The Power of Hate.. only for Cloud to see her as alive and thus take the scene as more of a surprise upset, effectively undermining and dashing a good third of Sephiroth's overall goals by something he couldn't have predicted.

Side Quests

Chapters 1 to 7

When Words Won't Do: The motive behind this Odd Job gets Barret to thinking about his parenting of Marlene, and he gets emotional about his fear of not being able to let Marlene go when the time comes. Cloud reads Barret like an open book, but quickly tires of his moping.
Barret: I hear your scoffing! You think I can't do it! You think I'll keep her all to myself!
Cloud: Ooohhhhh yeah.
Barret: ...and that's what scares me! ...oh Marlene, I wish you could be my baby girl forever!
(some time passes)
Barret: (distraught) Oohhhh my sweet baby girl!
Cloud: (frustrated) What now?
Barret: Your daddy... your silly daddy... he's gonna... he's gonna fail you!! Ohhh I can't let you go, I just caaan't!!
Cloud: Barret! Get your shit together! Marlene's barely out of diapers! You've got time!
Barret: Right...! Right! I'm just getting worked up over nuthin'! Yeah! She won't be leavin' me for a while!
Cloud: (teasing) Then again...
Barret: Hey!
Calling All Frogs: Everything about this mission is hilarious.
- For starters, this is the actual notice posted on the board.
"Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit. Ribbit ribbit, ribbit ribbit ribbit!"
- Even your quest log is written like this. Just repeated ribbits, over and over again... that is, except for the last one, which is just incredibly sappy.
  Not many have had the privilege to see the world through the eyes of a frogs, but Cloud and Tifa can now count themselves among those blessed few. Indeed, the experience has taught them that a ribbit is worth a thousand words.
- Second, it turns out the sidequest is all about a place nearby Under Junon that, for some reason causes people to turn into frogs when they're near it, only to turn back when they step out of the area. So, naturally, you have to fight some enemies as frogs. What sells it, however, is that Cloud and Tifa have fully voice acted ribbits. One has to question how their voice actors managed to hold it together enough to record the lines.
  Tifa: (unhappily) Ribbet (Oh great)
- After fighting off the enemies (again, as frogs), a minigame is unlocked in which the entire party has to jump around (as frogs) on a platform and avoid getting knocked off.
- The entire thing ends with Cloud being pushed into the frog-ifying area by Tifa, who can't help but tease him about how he seemed to get really into frog-hopping. Cloud can only give out a defeated "Ribbit..." in response. Tifa cheerfully responds with more Ribbits.
- As the cherry on top, the entire mission is scored to a song that repeats "Kero kero, kero kero," over and over again. "Kero" is how a frog's croak is said in Japanese.
The Junon Protorelic Phenomenon features the return of the Ford Condor minigame, but with a twist - Cloud, Barrett, and Tifa are now transported inside Fort Condor with the same blocky PS1 graphics seen in the original game. But what really seals the deal is how Gilgamesh has not only also been transported into Fort Condor, but ends up taking it completely seriously by pretending to be a general, a Damsel in Distress, and an Evil Sorcerer, all so that he can reclaim one Protorelic.
- After completing Fort Condor the first time, Cloud is briefly teleported away to a realm that hints at Gilgamesh's later presence. After returning, Chadley is briefly panicked and Barret will suggest that Chadley has a soft spot for "SOLDIER boy."
  Chadley: Annoyance response triggered. Cause: Barret's mocking tone of voice.
The Hardest Sell: Kyrie has relocated to the Junon area, and as usual is slacking off while pretending to be a mercenary. Cloud and co are asked to persuade her to get rid of the monsters she was asked to deal with.
- When Cloud walks into Kyrie's 'office'. Kyrie goes for a Failed Attempt at Drama, only to get frustrated when she realises she's speaking to Cloud
  Kyrie: (facing away from the party, trying to be aloof and mysterious) Greetings. Kyrie, Merc of Junon. And you are? (realises it's Cloud and switches back to her normal voice) Aw, man. And here I got all excited thinking I had a customer...
- Kyrie is revealed to have written a very silly song, which she uses as advertising and Character Shilling. She also uses this for subsequent appearances later on in the game.
  ♪ There's a new merc, a new merc in town
  She's, like, the best! The best around!
  She's open for business, so come on down
  Yeah!
  
  Got lots of stuff on your plate,
  got things you want out of your hair?
  Then you should put this merc to work,
  especially if you've got gil to spare!
  
  She's a cool merc and so very nice!
  She will get the job done for a price!
  She knows what you want and what you need
  "Do it all and more," that is her creed!
  
  Want the job done and want it done right?
  She will do it all while smiling bright
  Morning, noon or night, any time of day
  She'll do what she does so you get your way
  
  She really wants to work for you, so come on in today!
  
  Woah-oh yeah, she's waiting for you!
  
  I'm your friendly merc, so give me some work! ♪
- The best part, her song manages to attract a bunch of fiends. Naturally she tasks Cloud with getting rid of them, all while berating him for doing a poor job.
Rendezvous in Costa del Sol: A trio of fashion designers are looking for inspiration for a new series and are out of ideas, and commission Cloud and Aerith to go on a date as material to generate ideas. We can probably summarise this as "Cloud gets sassed", Cloud and Aerith act Like an Old Married Couple, and "Cloud misses the point". Repeatedly.
- Exhibit five million in the "Cloud not being able to take a hint" series. You can almost see Aerith thinking "what am I going to do with you?":
  Aerith: Hey — what kinda swimsuit would you wanna see?
  Cloud: Me?
  Aerith: Yes you. I'm curious.
  Cloud: Well, I prefer function over form, so durable... Maybe made with non-absorbent materials that allow for full range of motion — in case you need to fight underwater.
  Aerith: (giggling) Okey dokey, then...
- After getting a good score in the revamped shooter mini game:
  Fran: Wow, look at that score! Those are some pro numbers. But... what'd the lady think?
  Aerith: (faux dramatic) Oh! Got me right through the heart... the cad!
  Cloud: You know, the secret is to aim for the head, not the heart.
- Getting a very poor score at the shooter mini game elicits this response:
  Aerith: You know... in a weird way, that was actually kinda cute — seeing a guy like you fail that hard.
  Fran: Interesting... So there is a market for total losers. The more you know.
  Cloud: It's been a while since I used a gun, okay?
- Getting an average score on the other hand results in the following:
  Aerith: Alright, not bad. Though I'm pretty sure I've got better aim.
  Fran: Now here's a woman who knows how to hunt for a man! I like.
  Cloud: (defensively) I'm better with a sword.
- Cloud gives us the understatement of the year:
  Cloud: ...I'm no romantic.
  Aerith: Believe me, I know.
- After finding a giant shell and discussing what the creature would taste like, Cloud seems to actually take Aerith's claim seriously:
  Cloud: Food's food.
  Aerith: Uh-oh... don't you know what happens to people say they don't care what their food tastes like? They spontaneously combust.
  Cloud: You're... screwing with me, right?
  Aerith: I guess we'll see, won't we?
- After collecting a giant conch:
  Aerith: Y'know, you can hear the ocean if you put this seashell right up against your ear.
  Cloud: That's a myth.
  Aerith: Oh just try it, you spoilsport.
  Cloud: I'm good.
  Aerith: Here, (imitates the ocean waves and birds cawing).
  Cloud: Keep it down, birdie.
- After collecting all shells:
  Aerith: Okay, ready to go?
  Cloud: Are you sure?
  Aerith: Really — leaving the decision to me? What about you, Cloud? Are you sure?
  Cloud: (groans under his breath)
  Aerith: This is the part where you're supposed to blurt out (puts on a sappy tone) "I don't wanna go back! I wanna stay here with you!" This date's DOA otherwise.
  Cloud: Okay, now you're just bein' mean.
  Aerith: I'm not trying to be mean, I... sorry.
- Getting back into town:
  Aerith: Next time we need a chocobo, I say we ride double.
  Cloud: And slow down the bird?
  Aerith: Which would make it that much easier to take in all the scenery.
  Cloud: I'm still steering.
  Aerith: Oh, fine. If you've got to be the man up front...
The Saga Of The Seaside Inn: After Yuffie used Johnny to create a bunch of clones during the earlier boss fight, several of the Johnny clones were able to stick around and somehow multiplied, much to Yuffie's surprise. Unfortunately, a pair of Johnny clones were waylaid by fiends while gathering supplies to rebuild the Seaside Inn. After finding the pair, Yuffie offers to make more clones to help things along, which Cloud shoots down as "a terrible idea." One part of the quest chain involves getting a crown from a Tonberry King to decorate the inn. Yuffie originally suggests cloning a bunch of Barrets, only for Cloud to protest that everyone would be caught in the crossfire. Yuffie then suggests cloning Tifa, and then teases Cloud over his "fantasies" when it's clear Cloud quite likes that mental image.
Yuffie: Okay, what about [cloning]... Tifa?
Cloud: (nervous laugh)
Yuffie: Thinking naughty thoughts?
Cloud: Shut up.
Yuffie: Busted!
Cloud: I thought ninjas were supposed to be silent.
Yuffie: Oh, forgive me for interrupting your fantasies. I'll let you get back to being a perv.
- Better still, Tifa can be standing right there while this conversation is going on.

Chapters 8 to 14

O Chicken, Where Art Thou: Bringing back the chickens from around Gongaga feels good to help Kazhra, but unfortunately, Pippily gets turned into grilled chicken in the end, much to Red's horror. The hilarious part of it is that the game over music plays and Red lets out a sad howl after lamenting that the chickens could've had lived a free life.
- For bonus points, the camera angle used and expression on Kazhra's face would be more at home in a slasher film.
  Kazhra: Say goodnight, Pippily.
  Red XIII: (utter horror)
The Spice of Life: Cissnei is trying to make Gongaga soup, but there's black smoke coming from the pot and her kitchen "[looked] like a crime scene" because her knife wasn't long enough to cut the pumpkin properly and she had her eyes closed on trying to avoid the onion's tear-inducing properties. After gathering the necessary ingredients but before giving over them over to Cissnei, one can hear her "calling fire!" as if she's calling in an airstrike on a monster or casting the Fire spell. Aerith eventually helps out, although the scene does briefly Smash to Black where both have a few fumbles, indicating even Aerith has her limits. As it turns out, Cissnei's lack of cooking skills dates back to when she worked for Shinra and ate horribly tasting ration meals. The mention of Bomberry flavor is enough to make Cloud join in on the conversation.
Cloud: (incredulous) What happened?
Cissnei: Cooking happened. Watch your feet. (to soup pot) What am I gonna do about you?
Aerith: (Aerith walks over to inspect the carnage and gags) Wow, that's a smell.
Cloud: We should go. Now.
[...]
Cloud: Why's the kitchen look like a crime scene?
Cissnei: The pumpkin put up a fight. The knife I've got wasn't long enough to chop it in one clean go. Had to get stabby. And that bulbous bastard — the onion. I mean, I had to close my eyes while I cut it... but that might've been a bad call.
- Later on, after getting all the ingredients:
  (Smash to Black)
  Aerith: Uh...
  Cissnei: (panicking) Ah, wait — no!
  (sound of a fire out of control and a bowl smashing)
  Aerith: Oops... Meh, whatever!
Lament of the Damned: While mostly a sober quest, it has a few funny moments. When the supervisor asks the group to investigate a 'ghost' at the manor, Tifa, who was afraid of ghosts in Remake, says she'll sit this one out - prompting Cloud to laugh. Barret isn't immune either and tries to nope out of the manor at the first excuse, then startles further when Vincent shows up out of nowhere to help with the quest, even teasing Barret for being scared. Later on the elevator when discussing what the ghost could be, Barret nopes out of the conversation again via Ignoring by Singing.
The Corel Protorelic Phenomena questline has Cloud the gang track down Cactuar-shaped rock formation. Hilarity Ensues:
- Activating the first magically causes Cloud to go into a cactuar pose, much to his chagrin and Yuffie's amusement.
  Cloud: Oh, shit. (gets magically forced into a pose)
  Yuffie: Um... what're you doing?
  Cloud: (strained) I'm not... doing... anything...
  Yuffie & Red: (laugh like hyenas)
  (Cloud finally gets released)
  Yuffie: Oh man, that was hilarious! Hey—you think there are any more of these amazing rocks out there?
  Red XIII: Your pliability is most impressive.
  Red XIII: (alternatively, if done after going to Cosmo Canyon) Nice work, Cloud. You're pretty flexible!
  Cloud: Whatever. Let's go.
- As such, it's only understandable that Cloud's apprehensive at the second rock. However, that rock instead causes Yuffie to pose, instead of him.
  Yuffie: What're you waitin' for? Go on — touch it!
  Cloud: Ladies first.
  Yuffie: Oh, no. You're way better at the whole "putting yourself in harms way" thing.
  Cloud: Fine.
  (Cloud activates the second rock, causing Yuffie to be affected instead)
  Yuffie: Are you kidding me? (forced into a pose) Why me...
  Cloud: Word of advice: Don't fight it.
  Red XIII: Yes, heed the voice of experience.
  Red XIII: (alternatively, if done after going to Cosmo Canyon) Yeah, Cloud would know.
  Yuffie: ...What did I do to deserve this!?
- At the third rock, both Cloud and Yuffie are understandably apprehensive, but this time it's Nanaki who's forced to pose... and he actually enjoys it.
  Yuffie: Oh yeah! Not it!
  Red XIII: Heh heh. Hey! Check it out! I can still move my tail!
  Cloud: Lucky you.
- For the fourth and final rock, all three are made to pose.
  Yuffie: Oh... so it's like that.
  Red XIII: Everyone's a winner.
- While Cloud, Yuffie, and Red XIII are still stuck posing, Chadley makes a call and he's also posing, though it seems more like he's trying to make light of the situation and he can clearly still move.
- Upon encountering Don Corneo, Scotch and Kotch at the third modular reactor, Corneo angrily argues with Kid G before warning him not to make him beg...before promptly begging Kid G to give him the treasure in the same whiny voice he used when fleeing the Musclehead Coliseum.
- Gilgamesh shows up after the final trial, only to get beaten by the Cactuars. Right after he falls, Corneo and his henchmen attempt to kill Kid G with pistol fire. They miss at what's basically spitting distance for guns. Kid G easily dodges the follow up shots and uppercuts Corneo so hard that the latter goes flying for a bit.
Absence of a Sign has you going to three spots in Cosmo Canyon to take pictures of constellations. The second spot suddenly prompts you to quickly sneak a photo of Aerith while you can. If you do, she seems to sense you did it because she turns to look directly at the camera and proceeds to give three distinct poses, going from bashful to happy to annoyed, and each one is a photo prompt you can snap for a key item memento. The third spot has Aerith confront Cloud because she knows he snuck a shot of her, and he replies there was nothing sneaky about it while holding back a smile, and then she insists on taking a selfie.

Misc

Each time Cloud decides to duel someone in a game of Queen's Blood, coming out of the match suddenly has a fancy metal holster for his BFS appear at his side to make him more comfortable while he plays. Even in the most implausible places, like a wooden shack, apparently everyone just conveniently provides it for him or the party is hauling it around to make it easier for Cloud.
The incongruousness of having the characters PlayStation models from the original Final Fantasy VII appear during the Fort Condor board game sidequest in Junon and the Gold Saucer's boxing minigame is amusing, especially when contrasted to the mostly photorealistic designs of the rest of the game.
When the Moogle Merchant asks Cloud to help round up the Mooglets, he reluctantly agrees to help only because he can't resist the Moogle’s adorable smile.
- Once Cloud helps the Moogles in every region, the Moogle Merchant rewards him... by turning him into a Moogle. Cloud even repeats "Kupo" a few times while as a Moogle, and ending with one last "kupo" when back to human.
Gilgamesh's various encounters with Cloud, zany kabuki-themed goofball that he is. In one, he's too busy going to the bathroom to show up. In another, Gilgamesh attacks Cloud... only for Cloud to nonchalantly dodge. After some more posturing, Gilgamesh books it while screaming "Retreat!"—leaving a confused Cloud behind. And before their final battle, he reads a self-composed Japanese-style tanka^*a poem that follows a 5-7-5-7-7 syllable structure... that ends with a Power Rangers Shout-Out.
- Even Sephiroth is briefly taken aback when he accidentally summons Gilgamesh. He then leaves the party to deal with the warrior, who is most upset about getting summoned for practically no reason.
  Gilgamesh: Summoned by churls!? How dare you! For this outrage, I demand satisfaction!
- Gilgamesh has finally figured out how to turn Excalipoor into a Lethal Joke Item by swinging it several thousand times per attack, but not before he first mistakes it for the real Excalibur. The resulting Legenderpy Slash does 1 damage, and prompts a mid-battle cutscene where Gilgamesh bemoans having drawn the wrong weapon while the entire party stares dumbfounded at him.
The piano minigame has several unlockable pieces, and upon reaching a rank A in the six main pieces you can choose Aerith as your character. One of the pieces for 100% completion you unlock is One-Winged Angel. You can probably see where this is going.
Cloud can optionally challenge Yuffie at the 3D brawler game, with some amusing flavor text:
"Turn that 'unstoppable assassin' into an unhirable-has-been!"
- If Cloud wins, an unhappy Yuffie concedes defeat with a resentful "Credit where it's due".
- There's also the fact that the cast use their combat lines, suggesting they're getting very into the game.

Funny / Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

**WARNING: Spoilers Off applies to all Awesome Moments pages on TV Tropes. This page will contain no spoiler markings of any kind. If you have not beaten the game, read ahead at your own risk.**

Main story

Side Quests

Previous

Index

Next

Funny / Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Edit Locked

WARNING: Spoilers Off applies to all Awesome Moments pages on TV Tropes. This page will contain no spoiler markings of any kind. If you have not beaten the game, read ahead at your own risk.

Main story

Side Quests

Previous

Index

Next

**WARNING: Spoilers Off applies to all Awesome Moments pages on TV Tropes. This page will contain no spoiler markings of any kind. If you have not beaten the game, read ahead at your own risk.**