History Funny / FinalFantasyVIIRebirth

'''Barret:''' I didn't say ''that''. What I meant was... screw Shinra for manipulatin' honest folks. ''(sits down)''

* When they arrive at the ranch to get some Chocobos, Billy the owner of the place calls Cloud "Pops" much to his annoyance.

* When the party decide to nominate Cloud as the leader, he says he'll do it for two grand. Aerith then teases him by saying that it's twice as much as a certain somebody's "Standard Course". When the others ask what she means Cloud hastily changes the subject.

'''Adjutant''': You're ''sorry?!''

** Barret sings the original game over song when defeated.

* Barret, still not trusting of Yuffie, warns her that if she tries anything funny, he'll shove her in the Sister Ray, point it at Wutai, and fire.

*** Funnily enough, you'll need the Flametrooper unit to gain the highest score possible during the parade sequence.

---> '''Elena''': ''(if Cloud talks to her)'' I'm busy being sad.
** Cloud can run into Chadley in the barracks. The latter freaks out at first but then rolls with Cloud's disguise so as not to attract unwanted attention, even asking if the "Captain" requires his assistance.

'''Tifa''': Wow...\\
'''Tifa and Aerith''': ''(resume laughing)''\\

* Right before the parade starts, the disguised Cloud is called upon to give a motivational speech, unfortunately he freezes up, cue Tifa and Aerith giving a pair of rousing speeches, causing Cloud to snap out of it and finish the speech with a surprising verbal flourish. Unfortunately, he gets a bit ''too'' into it and has to be dragged away from the troops by Tifa and Aerith when he gets too into character pumping up the troops!

** Though admittedly, it's entirely possible for ''the player'' to [[FailedASpotCheck fail to notice her and her moogle-cap/cloak combo with the camera]] while the Shinra troopers are reacting to Heidegger's and Rufus's awards for them, since all the attention is on them.
* After Yuffie fails to kill Rufus, things get quite hairy. Cloud is forced to partake in the search for "co-conspirators in disguise." As the 7th Infantry troopers accompany him, they inform him that they're going to treat other units as hostile by default, essentially playing [[VideoGame/AmongUs "hunt the imposter."]] It never occurred to them that ''their own captain'' might be the "imposter."

*** While the above happens, Cloud's face on the side and off-focus reveals he's ''completely'' flabbergasted.

---->'''Red XIII:''' [[SeriousBusiness I've issued you a challenge]], Cloud. Face me -- if you dare.\\

** In a storeroom, a set of troopers is slacking off trying to figure out which formation would please the crowds the most whilst utilizing all the units. When Cloud shows up, they ask for his advice. All Cloud can give is an improvised morale-booster speech that doubles as a StealthInsult: the formation will depend on the readiness of his men.

** It is also possible to find a few Flametroopers slacking off when they should be taking their duties seriously. One is hiding in a locker room, petting his cats as though he were the Shinra counterpart to Wedge. The other can be found in the barracks, bragging to himself about how he can easily hide behind a billiards table when he's supposed to be on duty. If Cloud moves to confront the slacking trooper, the latter immediately stops lying on the floor and goes into a dogeza pose, as though he's apologizing for his behavior.

--->'''Trooper B''': ''[hissing to his buddy]'' Check the helmet, you dipshit!

** In the barracks, a 7th Infantry platoon leader, along with his subordinates, is responding to a TV reporter's questions. When Cloud shows up and addresses the platoon, the reporter switches to interviewing him. Cloud's awkwardness nearly blows his disguise until the platoon leader saves him, by mis-interpreting Cloud's lack of information as a tactic to keep the drill formations a secret until the parade starts. As the platoon leaves to join the others, the cameraman and the reporter follow along.
** In the briefing room, Cloud finds a quartet of troopers practicing like crazy. The troopers are determined to impress Rufus during the parade. Cloud immediately tells them that it's time for the real deal.
** It is also possible to find a few troopers slacking when they should be taking their duties seriously. One is hiding in a locker room, petting his cats as though he were the Shinra counterpart to Wedge. The other can be found in the barracks, bragging to himself about how he can easily hide behind a billiards table when he's supposed to be on duty. If Cloud moves to confront the slacking trooper, the latter immediately stops lying on the floor and goes into a dogeza pose, as though he's apologizing for his behavior.

** One pair of troopers is inside a jewelry store. The first one, a guy who wants to impress his girlfriend, asks his female comrade if he should buy a brooch. She takes one look at it and shoots it down because it has ''two machine guns on it''. He admits she's right, and says he should [[ComicallyMissingThePoint get the one with two bayonets instead]]. When Cloud shows up the guy asks for his opinion, and the girl shoves him away and tells him not to bother the captain with his triviality.

** One trio of grunts is trying to pose with a Rufus cutout for a photo. The cameraman in the trio asks Cloud to take the photo, and if Cloud gets it 100% right, the trooper whose camera was used will contemplate framing the picture. Cloud also earns a Rufus cutout as a reward for this.
** One bunch of bored troopers is checking out the Sister Ray, commenting upon its current state of being. They'll freak out when they realize that the captain's right behind them. But before that...

** One pair of troopers is admiring a scale model of the Sister Ray in the weapons shop. The fact that Junon sells scale models of the Sister Ray is already silly enough on its own, and when Cloud shows up, one of the troopers asks him if he's also trying to get one of the rarer models. The troopers freak out when they realize Cloud's their captain.

'''Barret:''' Hey... Just to be clear, you do realize we're not here on vacation, right?\\

'''Barret:''' ''(looks down at his [[TheBigGuy 6'6", 300 lb body]] at the realization)''\\
'''Red XIII:''' True enough.\\

* Upon exiting the locker room, Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith run smack into the Midgar 7th Infantry commander's adjutant, who closely inspects them after noting that they weren't at practice. The good news is that despite staring at their faces within spitting distance, he fails to realize that he's got three members of Avalanche right in front of him. The bad news is that the adjutant is pissed off enough to demand the three "troopers" perform the basic rifle drill in front of the commander, jokingly threatening to feed their asses to a behemoth if they fail.

* The '''Nibel Region Protoreliec Phenomenon''' comes to its climax after some of the Sephiroth clones manage to pickpocket pieces of the Genji breastplate from Cloud. In a dramatic sequence, Sephiroth manifests himself and uses a Black Whisper to do something with the protorelic. He ''accidentally'' summons Gilgamesh and nearly loses his composure, before leavingthe party to deal with the warrior, who is most upset about getting summoned for practically no reason.

* As they're about to part ways after Cloud's duel with Roche, the troopers following him have a question.

** One opponent is a robot that was programmed to play Queen's Blood. So far, the robot hasn't won a single game.
** Another potential opponent is Madam M. When Cloud momentarily seems to not recognize her, she reminds him that they shared an "intimate moment" in Wall Market. Cloud responds "No, I remember. You're pretty hard to forget" as he looks down at and holds the hand she massaged.

** Andrea jokingly says he'll make Cloud dance again if he loses the match.

*** Right as Cloud is about to be announced as the winner, Red makes his hamtastic entrance.

''(Red moonwalks backwards, causing Captain Titov to [[FunnyBackgroundEvent drop his microphone in surprise]])''

'''Red XIII:''' Though I am far from humanoid, the illusion ''can'' be maintained -- with the aid of a little flamboyance. Impressed?\\

!'''WARNING: Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies to all Awesome Moments pages on TV Tropes. This page will contain ''no spoiler markings of any kind''. If you have not beaten the game, [[Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned read ahead at your own risk]].'''

* The Nibel region protorelic quest comes to its climax after some of the Sephiroth clones manage to pickpocket pieces of the Genji breastplate from Cloud. In a dramatic sequence, Sephiroth manifests himself and uses a black Whisper to do something with the protorelic. He ''accidentally'' summons Gilgamesh and nearly loses his composure! He then leaves the party to deal with the warrior, who is most upset about getting summoned for practically no reason.
--->'''Gilgamesh:''' Summoned by ''churls''!? How dare you! For this outrage, I demand satisfaction!

--->'''Adjutant''': Am I to assume you just ''forgot?'' [to go to drill rehearsal]\\

* After watching Cloud's performance, the Midgar 7th Infantry commander decides to promote him to parade captain. Next thing Cloud knows, just as he takes off the generic trooper helmet, the adjutant quickly forces a captain's helmet onto him (fast enough to have elicited a grunt of pain).

** One trio of grunts is trying to pose with a Rufus cutout for a photo. The cameraman in the trio asks Cloud to take the photo, and if Cloud gets it 100% right, the trooper whose camera was used will contemplate framing the picture.

** One pair of troopers is admiring a scale model of the Sister Ray in the weapons shop, only getting freaked out when they realize Cloud's the captain.

* A brief break in the emotionally fraught final chapter: when Zack appears to join Cloud in his fight against Sephiroth, he angrily asks how Sephiroth could betray everything they stood for as [=SOLDIERs=]. Sephiroth's reply is a deadpan "Very easily."

** As you approach Gilgamesh Island, MAI complains about being woken up as she "was having such a restful Sleep Mode".
** In the process of trying to forge a gap in the Temple of the Ancients, the sphere box Cloud pushes over the edge knocks out a support column instead and causes a TOWER to fall over and bridge the gap instead. All Barret can say is a tiny "oops".
** Right before they fight Tseng and Elena in the Temple of the Ancients, Yuffie baits them into attacking by calling them cowards and making chicken noises. Elena retorts right back by asking if they got lost, since there should be six of them. Red reminds her three is still more than two.

* Aerith, Yuffie, and Red fight Tseng and Elena to a standstill in the Temple of the Ancients. While the player wins the fight [[GameplayAndStorySegregation the pair of Turks are far from done]]. That is until the ceiling collapses in on them thanks to Cloud's finishing blow against Reno and Rude directly above them.
** Right before the fight Yuffie baits the Turks into attacking by calling them cowards and making chicken noises. Elena retorts right back by asking if they got lost, since there should be six of them. Red reminds her three is still more than two.

* Yuffie explains she's a ninja. Barret is taken aback, saying that while Avalanche has done some shady shit, slitting throats in the night like a ninja is something they won't stoop to. Yuffie immediately tells him she's offended by his insinuation... before adding that [[IResembleThatRemark it is something Ninjas actually do.]]

* Barret protests when Cloud sends him and Red out for reconaissance:

*** It is also possible to find a few troopers slacking when they should be taking their duties seriously. One is hiding in a locker room, petting his cats as though he were the Shinra counterpart to Wedge. The other can be found in the barracks, bragging to himself about how he can easily hide behind a billiards table when he's supposed to be on duty.

** The silliest location to find a platoon appears to be a "clean-shaven people only" bar that Rude frequents, the Glabrescent Bar ([[TruthInTelevision bald bars like this do exist in real life]]) that not only has its own theme that the patrons sing but its own salute, a rub of the waxed domes. Rude doesn't even put two-and-two together enough to realize that it's Cloud under the captain's helmet when the latter interrupts a drinking song.

* Yuffie, disguised in a Moogle hoodie, is impersonating a cameraman. Well, she's not doing a great job at that.

* One of the baby chicks that was nesting on the controls to the mine cart took a shine to Barret, trying to land on his head or shoulder, much to his irritation in contrast to Tifa and Yuffie's amusement. The chick's head feathers prompts the girls to nickname it "Cloud, Jr.", which in turn causes the chick to turn around and glare at them indignantly, causing more laughter from the girls.

* When the Turks try to check in at the hotel's front desk, the upside-down receptionist's appearance garners different reactions. While Rude isn't phased in the slightest, Elena screams from the top of her lungs and breathes heavily.
* Upon entering his room, Cloud sees a Tonberry wielding a knife and reaches for his sword, before realising it's a humidifier.
* Barret leaves Cloud to get some rest, and says he'll go for a walk. But he emphasises the fact that he is ''not'' going to have fun.

* If Tifa is Cloud's companion, Aerith will be alone in Speed Square. If spoken to she tries to make Cloud jealous by suggesting that [[OperationJealousy she find someone else to accompany her]]. This seems to work a little too well, with Cloud overreacting, and then having to invent a pretty weak justification on why she shouldn't do this. It's clear Aerith and Tifa don't buy it one bit.

* The chapter starts off with Yuffie ready to puke from the buggy ride, causing both Barret and Cait Sith to panic.

-->'''Barret:''' Can't you at least pretend not to hate me?

** Even ''Sephiroth'' is briefly taken aback when he ''accidentally'' summons Gilgamesh. He then leaves the party to deal with the warrior, who is most upset about getting summoned for practically no reason.
--->'''Gilgamesh:''' Summoned by ''churls''!? How dare you! For this outrage, I demand satisfaction!

** Rather than raid lockers like in the original game, the disguise set is practically handed to Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith on a silver platter, as an officer mistakes them for latecomer troops and just lets them into the locker room. The girls get a little excited about the whole disguise ordeal, acting like they're cosplaying.

*** It is also possible to find a few troopers slacking when they should be taking their duties seriously. One is hiding in the briefing room, petting his cats as though he were the Shinra counterpart to Wedge. The other can be found in the storeroom, bragging to himself about how he can hide when he's supposed to be on overwatch.

* The entire Junon parade sequence is hilarious for how cartoonish the entire thing is, from the Sousa-esque choral music during the practice session to the goofy way the units march off as you round each of them up. It also never gets old seeing the various ways a member of each unit fails to notice Cloud is their captain, and them shitting their pants once they realize they just told their commanding officer to go away.

*** ... Which is followed by Cloud essentially going "screw it," and instantly gearing up to the challenge as if it were the final battle of a major arc in a card game anime[[note]]Which, in Japanese, they actually were. [[Creator/TakahiroSakurai Cloud]] is [[Anime/YuGiOhVRAINS VRAINS' Ai]] and [[Creator/KappeiYamaguchi Red]] is [[Anime/YuGiOhGX GX's Amnael]][[/note]], complete with striking a pose and ''throwing a card into the camera to transition into the match.''

-->'''Chadley:''' Detecting internal monologue: "What's this weirdo doing here?"

* The end to Cloud's "security sweep" to the port ends in the training grounds. The good news is that nobody has successfully outed Cloud as an imposter. The bad news is that Roche was waiting for Cloud in the arena, along with a marching band and plenty of troopers who want to spectate a duel between [=SOLDIERs=]. And the sequence up to the fight is ridiculous: Roche doesn't just pick this stadium as their stage, but he even brought in the band and light technicians to rev up the entertainment!

--->[[Theater/RomeoAndJuliet What light from yonder balcony breaks?]] Come on down and say hello~!

'''Barret:''' The news outlets are nothin' but Shinra mouthpieces spewin' propaganda. Only dumbasses believe that shit.\\
'''Aerith:''' ''(raises her hand)'' Question! Does that make ''me'' a dumbass?\\
'''Barret:''' I didn't say ''that''. What I meant was... screw Shinra for manipulatin' honest folks.

* Beck's Badasses are back and taking their operation worldwide, with all the [[DelusionsOfEloquence humor]] that entails. For added hilarity, you can have Cloud act as if he doesn't remember them.

'''Barret:''' Thats... fair.

* Upon arriving in Under Junon, Rhonda the mayor/sheriff promptly pulls up the party's wanted posters on a tablet. Tifa and Barret have bounties of 100,000 gil on their heads, while Aerith sounds ecstatic at being worth half a million.
* When Cloud rescues Yuffie, she's initially unresponsive, with Cloud being prompted to perform CPR. Thing is, he's very much hesitant to do so because of her breasts. And just before he's about to apply pressure, she wakes up and accuses Cloud of being a creep before the others explain what happened.

* Just after Yuffie tries to blackmail the group into helping her assassinate Rufus, the sound of a motorcycle can be heard. Who caught wind of Cloud's presence thanks to an info leak? Roche, who's making some rather ''flirty'' remarks to draw Cloud out. Cloud, when asked who Roche is, just tells Tifa that the guy is a pain in the ass.
** As Cloud is making his way to the front door of the inn, Roche continues with the pickup lines, much to the former's annoyance.

* Roche reveals that he was tasked with capturing Aerith. But rather than fight Cloud in the undercity, Roche invites Cloud to fight topside. After that, Roche revs up his bike, pulls several tricks, and rides out of town laughing like a maniac.
--> '''Barret:''' ''(addressing Cloud after Roche leaves)'' You've got some weird friends, man.

'''Tifa and Aerith:''' ''(looks curiously towards Cloud)''\\

'''Cloud:''' No, that's how we die in a hail of bullets like a bunch of dumbasses. The city's crawling with Shinra troopers.

** Rather than raid lockers like in the original timeline, the disguise set is practically handed to Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith on a silver platter, as an officer mistakes them for latecomer troops and just lets them into the locker room. The girls get a little excited about the whole disguise ordeal, acting like they're cosplaying.
** If Cloud attempts to walk into the occupied changing areas while Tifa and Aerith are suiting up, the girls will call him out.

* After watching Cloud's performance, the Midgar 7th Infantry commander decides to promote him to parade captain. Next thing Cloud knows, just as he takes off the generic trooper helmet, the adjutant quickly forces a captain's helmet onto him (fast enough to have elicited a pained response).

** Elena is drowning her sorrows at ''Le Sourire'', shooing away Cloud if he tries to talk to her. Think about it for a minute. She was that close to making the arrest of a lifetime and missed it by that much.

'''Barret''': ''Hah hah'', very funny. I coulda shot you!\\

* Right before the parade starts the disguised Cloud is called upon to give a motivational speech, unfortunately he freezes up, cue Tifa and Aerith giving a pair of rousing speeches, causing Cloud to snap out of it and finish the speech with a surprising verbal flourish. Unfortunately, he gets a bit ''too'' into it and has to be dragged away from the troops by Tifa and Aerith when he gets too into character pumping up the troops!

* The end to Cloud's "security sweep" to the port ends in the training grounds. The good news is that nobody has successfully outed Cloud as an imposter. The bad news is that Roche was waiting for Cloud in the arena, along with a marching band and plenty of troopers who want to spectate a duel between [=SOLDIERs=]. And the sequence up to the fight is ridiculous.

* As the ''Shina-8'' sets sail, Kyrie (who had spent the past few chapters fraudulently selling herself as a mercenary, claiming the credit for the good deeds Cloud and the party have been accomplishing in their journey) runs onto the dock screaming that the ship can't leave yet, as she's supposed to be a passenger.