Funny / Final Fantasy VII Remake

Because delivering flowers requires a BFS.

• Final Fantasy VII
• Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
• Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
• Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus
• Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

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General

• One of Barret's lines when an ally is defeated in battle and control switches to him.
  Barret: You a real pain in the ass! Get yo' shit together!
• After ending a fight, Barret will sometimes sing the old victory tune, similar to Prompto in Final Fantasy XV. Yuffie does the same thing in Intergrade on occasion.
• Characters will occasionally banter after a fight. One of the interactions is Cloud saying "No time to celebrate" and Barret responding "Sure there is". This can happen while they're fleeing an exploding mako reactor.
• Since equipped weapons carry over into (most of) the cutscenes, many of Cloud's scenes are made hilarious with the Nail Bat equipped.
• The fact that the Enfeeblement Ring exists is a font for possible hilarity. Anyone putting on this piece of equipment receives the "Toad" status immediately — meaning they enter battle as a small frog. One bit of hilarity is that Square Enix painstakingly made sure that all playable party members would be readily recognizable as a frog... This means that it's entirely possible to enter the final battle with a full party of... toads. As this video shows with all the hilarity it entails.

Chapter 1: The Destruction of Mako Reactor 1

• Barret goes on his diatribe about how the planet is dying and expositing about Mako energy to Cloud and Jessie even though both know what it is. And they both look at each other and Jessie just shrugs as if to say "Sorry about the lesson". Then when he goes on about hearing the Planet crying out in pain, Cloud's reaction is priceless!
  Cloud: Do you really hear that?
  Barret: Damn straight I do!
  Cloud: Get help.
• Jessie asks Cloud to at least bear with Barret for a while longer after their elevator conversation and he barely agrees.
  Cloud: Should've asked for more money.
• Late into the Reactor 1 bombing mission, Cloud and Barret have a slight... miscommunication.
  Barret: What are you, twenty-something?
  Cloud: First.
  Barret: Huh?
  Cloud: SOLDIER, First Class. Doesn't go into the twenties.
  Barret: The hell you talking about? I mean your age, not your goddamn rank!
  Cloud: I, uh...
  Barret: Though, for all I know, a SOLDIER's rank could be the same as his age... Mm-hmm. Guess that'd make you a one-year-old, huh? Live and learn!
• During the tutorial segment for sprinting where Cloud has to pass through lasers, Jessie will make a comment each time Cloud gets hit by a laser. Subsequent laser hits will see her make increasingly snarkier comments about Cloud's ability or lack thereof.
  Jessie: You sure you were a SOLDIER?
  Jessie: Um, you have a fetish or something?
  Jessie: There's a fine line between being daring and being dumb. Food for thought.
• Barret gives Cloud shit for how long he sets the bomb's timer for, no matter which option is chosen: 20 minutes and he calls him a hotshot, 30 minutes and he sarcastically moans on if it's "long enough for him".
• Jessie and Biggs bantering during the Reactor 1 bombing:
  Biggs: [about Cloud] Real joy to work with though.
  Jessie: Real joy to look at too.
  Biggs: Here we go...
  Jessie: Looks are what people notice first!
  Biggs: Guess I'm not on the same page as "people".
  Jessie: I'd say you're not even reading the same book.
  Biggs: Enough. We're done here.
  Jessie: Or even the same-
  Biggs: Give it a rest.
• The Scorpion Sentinel boss battle:
  • Cloud's standoffish attitude comes to the forefront during mid-battle banter while fighting the Scorpion Sentinel:
    [the Scorpion Sentinel encases itself in a Beehive Barrier]
    Barret: The hell is that!?
    Cloud: A barrier? Never seen this defense system before...
    Barret: Thought you were the expert!
    Cloud: So what's your brilliant plan, genius?
• Cloud and Barret's dialogue during the Sentinel Scorpion battle has quite a few gems:
  • Player switches to Barret:
    Barret: It's my time to shine!
    Cloud: Or go down in flames...
  • If the fight drags on:
    Barret: Dammit! This thing is tough!
    Cloud: It wouldn't be much of a weapon if it went down easy.
    Barret: Don't compliment the giant scorpion!
  • Cloud gets pissed if Barret doesn't use his Lightning materia (including a reference to the original game's materia tutorial, wherein Barret *didn't* know how to use materia).
    Barret: We barely scratched the damn thing.
    Cloud: Didn’t I tell you to use magic?
    Barret: Thought you were full of shit!
    Cloud: Think whatever you want. Just do it!
    [Barret still doesn't use the materia]
    Cloud: Hello? Lightning magic? Do you even know how to use materia?
    Barret: Course I know how to use materia! What kinda stupid question is that!? Quit rushing me.
  • After the Scorpion has fired his laser several times:
    Barret: Woo-hoo, laser time!
    Cloud: When you get comfortable, you get hurt.
    Barret: Are you for real!? You gotta backtalk me every damn time!?
• Jessie's Motor Mouth doesn't stop as they escape the reactor, and Cloud yells at her to shut up and climb. She claims talking calms her nerves, Cloud just grumbles and tells her whatever helps her keep moving.

Chapter 2: Fateful Encounters

• During their escape through Sector 8, Biggs has something to say about the smell in the air:
  Biggs: Ugh, the air in here reeks. Can't wait to get out in the open. Man, what is that? I've never seen anything smell so foul. (sniff) Aw, it's me. Gotta do something about that, and soon.
• Jessie gifts Cloud healing materia as thanks for saving her life. Cloud says this is All a Part of the Job. Cloud attempts to give her some advice, but he just sounds like a chuunibyou.
  Jessie: Yeah, yeah. Fact is, I was lucky you were there.
  Cloud: Survival can be a matter of luck or skill. And you can't rely on luck.
  Jessie: Words to live by!
  Cloud: Yeah, well...thanks.
• Jessie then asks if Cloud knows how to use the materia, to which he scoffs, considering he's an ex-SOLDIER. What's funny is that Jessie basically gives him (and thus the player) a tutorial anyway and then tells him to not forget to use it.
• When Cloud first meets Aerith and she offers him a flower, he clearly thinks she's trying to sell it to him.
  Cloud: (looks away and mutters under his breath) Just my luck.
  Aerith: I heard that, you know.
• When Aerith is attacked by the mysterious whispers again, the commotion alerts the nearby Shinra security officers. Aerith decides to bail with a "Nice meeting you!" and Cloud is shortly after attacked by the security.
• When Cloud catches up with Barret and the others, Barret comments how Cloud had him worried for a minute. Realizing what he just said (after voicing his dislike of Cloud before the whole time), Barret immediately yells at Cloud asking him what he was doing.
• Inside the train, Barret witnesses a Shinra manager complaining to his colleagues about Avalanche's terrorist actions. The more he talks, the more Barret intimidates him and his colleagues with his sheer presence.
• When Jessie wants to give Cloud a short overview of Midgar, Cloud attempts to tell her that he's not interested.
  Jessie: Shhh. There's such a thing as playing too hard to get. (wink)
• Barrett saying they’ve got a crowd to hide in when they’ve got on the train. Only he must not be paying attention cause it’s hard not to notice a young man with an oversized sword on his back or a muscular giant with a Gatling gun for a hand. Only no one on the train does think to question them.

Chapter 3: Home Sweet Slum

• After arriving in Sector 7, Barret, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie loudly celebrate, though Wedge and Biggs say too much, which gets them a scolding from Barret.
• While it's in the middle of a stressful situation for Cloud, when he seemingly finds Sephiroth inside his neighbor's room, he panics and tries to pull his sword out. For the first time, it hits the top of the doorway.
• Once Cloud wakes up in the morning and goes to Seventh Heaven, Tifa starts dishing out the gist of what Cloud will be doing. All he can do is frown sorrowfully and lean his head against his hand while audibly groaning and sighing in exasperation as he avoids looking at Tifa. As she enthusiastically goes on, pointing out that since Cloud is SOLDIER no one will refuse to pay him, he gives in.
  Cloud: Let's get this over with.
• The item shop owner tells Cloud he'll give him a deal any time, as long as Tifa is with him. The two talk afterwards, with Tifa telling Cloud he'd probably get a discount if he were a little nicer to people.
  Cloud: To get free shit? Not my style.
• Cloud meeting Marle again and she has instant mood shifts between the two people she talks to.
  Marle: Tifa! My dear, dear girl! (beat) ...Oh. What's he doing here?
  • Marle worries about Tifa being around Cloud. The way the older woman picks at Cloud's faults and his indignant response is worth a chuckle. Cloud even appears to be pouting after Tifa scolds him.
    Marle: No charm, no wit. Big sword...but no skills.
    Cloud: (offended) I've got skills.
    Tifa: Be nice!
    Cloud: I'm doing my best...
  • Cloud's attempts to "be nice" as Tifa encourages goes as well as one would expect when a vendor angrily chews out Tifa for selling him defective filters and still expecting to be paid. Cloud sarcastically says, "pretty please" and funnily enough, it works. Though it could just be the BFS at work.
• Tifa takes Cloud away after his headache and asks to talk. Wedge offers to come along, but Biggs wisely stops him. As Wedge complains, Biggs points out since Tifa and Cloud hadn't seen each other in years, he'd just be a third wheel.
• At one point, Cloud returns to his apartment and finds Jessie who greets him like she's his wife saying "Welcome home, Honey! Took your sweet time!" Cloud has no idea how to react and struggles to find his words for a good couple of seconds.
  Jessie: Psych!

Chapter 4: Mad Dash

• That night, Jessie is surprised when Biggs and Wedge show up to help. She starts worrying that she was talking in her sleep, wondering what else she said.
• During the bike chase, Jessie starts narrating it as though it were an action-romance.
  Jessie: "Had the cold-eyed mercenary's heart suddenly begun to melt?"
  Cloud: Nope.
  Jessie: I won't forget that!
• Wedge offering himself up as a distraction when Shinra sics a pack of Guard Dogs on Cloud and Biggs is noble... but then he comically gets his butt chomped on by one of them, leading to a followup scene where Biggs pulls his pants down to examine the wound and Jessie teasingly slaps his ass.
  • Wedge's reaction? Worth It.
  • The interaction and Wedge's reaction makes everyone laugh, even Cloud can't help but chuckle with a grin. Jessie is quick to point out Cloud's smile, which instantly disappears. Cloud changes the subject by awkwardly jabbing his thumb over his shoulder, saying they need to go before quickly running off.
  • It also leads to a moment of funny Gameplay and Story Integration: while you're fighting the remaining Guard Dogs, Wedge is a fully-rendered NPC dashing around — if not through — the battle, and all the dogs chasing him need to be defeated before the encounter concludes.
• As the four escape by blending in with the crowd, Cloud can find a security officer trying to calm down a feisty old woman with a broom in hand, which she also uses on him.
  Old woman: It's Wutai, isn't it! Lemme get my gun - I'll teach'em to mess with Midgar! Don't you worry about me - I killed myself a platoon's worth of 'em bastards back in the war!
  Security Officer: Y-Yes, thank you for your service! Now if you would just allow me to escort you back home...
• After completing the mission, Jessie's plan for returning to Sector 7 is to parachute off the plate into the slums with her strapped to Biggs and Cloud strapped to Wedge. Before they jump, Jessie wants to talk to Cloud and tries to shimmy on the narrow pipe over to him and Wedge while attached to Biggs, nearly causing everyone to fall.
  • The thing Jessie wanted so badly to talk with Cloud about? Inviting him over to her house so she could "pay him in full." She says it in such a way that later on Wedge feels it necessary to tell Cloud it's not a good idea to fall for her.
    Wedge: [describing Jessie] Life's a stage and love's the play!
• Wedge has trouble working up courage for the parachute jump. Cloud ends up impatiently shoving Wedge. The conversation while this happens is quite amusing.
  Wedge: Wait! Gimme a minute!
  Cloud: No.
  Wedge: Why do you have to be such a hard-ass, bro?
  Cloud: I ain't your bro.
• Wedge gets a little too excited when Cloud kindly offers to walk Wedge home, resulting in an image of Wedge appearing to creep up on Cloud.
  Wedge: Aw, thanks, bro!
  Cloud: Cut that out.
• When Cloud reaches Wedge's house the latter introduces Cloud to his cats. Cloud appears startled and puts his hand in front of himself defensively. All the cats hiss in response to his presence. When Wedge picks up his cats and brings them closer they start yowling, causing Cloud to nervously take a step back.
  • As the scene at Wedge's house continues we get treated to quite the gem of a line. Even more amusing is the way the corner of Cloud's mouth twitches, which implies he's trying not to laugh.
    Cloud: Really sorry about your ass.
  • Throughout the chapter, Wedge repeatedly calls Cloud "bro". Cloud becomes increasingly annoyed by it. Finally, he appears to give up when Wedge's cats are upset by Cloud trying to confront him about the nickname.
    Cloud: [annoyed] It's kinda weird when you call me th-
    [Cloud is interrupted by yowling cats]
    Wedge: [to the cats] Hey, don't be scared! Deep down, he's a big softie.
    Cloud: Hell with it...
• When Cloud goes back to Jessie's place, she pays him with Materia and then pulls him into an embrace and invites him to come back when her roommates aren't around. Cloud being... Cloud... has a pretty funny reaction to being basically offered a booty call. And due to just how... Cloud is, it's also funny that the nice response to the invitation is "no promises."
  Cloud: [being hugged by Jessie] Okay, I get it. Mind letting me breathe?
  Jessie: Depends. Mind coming over tomorrow night? My roommates should all be out for a while.
  Cloud: Are you seriously that desperate? Just let go already.

Chapter 5: Dogged Pursuit

• While making their way through the train tunnels to Reactor 5, Barret is reminded of the mazes in Marlene's coloring books. Tifa agrees, noting how you think you've found a way then run into a wall. Cloud's solution: knock it down.
  Tifa: Now you're starting to sound like Barret!
  Cloud: Never mind.
  Barret: It's a good plan!

Chapter 6: Light the Way

• In the next section high above the Sector 4 slums, Barret's tough guy persona starts showing some cracks due to his fear of heights. At some point the team has to cross some pipes near some giant fans.
  Barret: [nervously] Hey guys, uh...you know these fans are really loud and...
  Cloud: You chickening out?
  Barret: Hell no! I'm just worried that your bony ass is gonna get blown off the side and shit-
  Tifa: Enough! We gotta keep moving!
• When you're going across the first set of fans, Tifa tells you that whatever you do, don't look at them. When crossing the second set, she'll notice something behind one of them. If you try to take a look, this happens.
  Cloud: Isn't that-
  Barret: Hey! Don't be a dumbass! Tifa told you not to look at the fan!
• Once they're done crossing the fans, Barret's act slips again.
  Tifa: Made it through in one piece.
  Barret: Think that took a couple years off my life. I-I mean, uh, not really! Couple seconds maybe. Three tops!
• When the team discovers that they have to deactivate three sun lamps to get to Biggs, Tifa suddenly starts impersonating President Shinra of all people. It comes out of absolutely nowhere and not something you'd expect from Tifa, who is by far the least snarky of the main cast. Even the others don't expect it.
  Tifa: [in a deep and faux sophisticated tone] "By the light of these magnificent lamps... we shall lead our brothers and sisters of the undercity to a brighter future."
  Barret: Say what?
• In the same area, Barret will usually point out if you're going off course and sometimes get on Cloud's ass for it. Go for the Summon Materia that Tifa saw earlier and he does it again in the form of a song.
  Barret: [singing] Where could they be going...? Embarking on an adventure to find some treasure!?
• When they meet up with Biggs, who has secured them a route into the reactor, Barret tries to pull him into a hug. Biggs ducks under it and Barret seems rather put out about it.
  Barret: Aw, c'mon, man.

Chapter 7: A Trap Is Sprung

• Heidegger gloats that the Airbuster will be the instrument of the party's demise, only for his subordinates to say it is not ready yet. He yells that his big moment was ruined.
• After being told that Shinra is live recording them, Barret attempts to use this opportunity to talk about his motives and rant about Shinra. Cloud points out that Shinra aren't stupid enough to broadcast that.
• The security lock minigame:
  • To unlock the security locks, the team needs to synchronize their movements and pull the levers at the same time. Barret attempts to take the lead, but Cloud is against it and wants Tifa to do it, because it's Barret.
  • If you unlock the emergency lockdown on the first try, Tifa high-fives Barret and attempts to do the same with Cloud, who doesn't play along.
  • If you fail the security lock game a few times, Barret is almost about to swear.
  • If you unlock the delta-level security lock for the Airbuster disposal room perfectly without error, Cloud makes a light joke. Even Tifa finds it funny. (Now think about what Jenova cells do, and that all SOLDIERs have them, and this becomes even funnier in hindsight.)
    Tifa: I swear, your timing was perfect. It's almost like...you could read my mind. SOLDIERs can't do that, can they?
    Cloud: I can't—yet.
    Tifa: [chuckles] Thank God.
  • If you fail the minigame too many times, Barret will want to take over.
    Barret: Hey, I think I should lead after all. Five...four...three-two-one-go!
    Cloud: Much better.
    Barret: [after more failures] How 'bout a chant to help us time it right? Aaa-vaaa-lanche!
    Tifa: Ugh, this is exhausting...
    Barret: [after even more failures] Got an idea! Seventh seventh heaven heaven hoo-ah! Seventh seventh heaven heaven hoo-ah!
    Cloud: Hell no!
    Barret: Ugh, how 'bout this then? Seveeenth heaven! Heaven! Heaven!
    Tifa: We're doing it my way!
  • If you unlock the emergency lockdown after several tries:
    Barret: How the hell we made it through with dumbass here, I'll never know.
    Cloud: We really are in sync. Took the words right outta my mouth.
    Barret: What did you say?!
  • And if you unlock the delta-security lock after several tries:
    Tifa: Finally. I was beginning to think it'd never end.
    Barret: Ayo, Cloud, what's the deal? You really a bona fide SOLDIER?
    Cloud: [turns his back to Barret in embarrassment] We didn't train for this stuff.
    Barret: All that marching with no rhythm? How did you SOLDIER on?

Chapter 8: Budding Bodyguard

• If Cloud walks away from Aerith after she asks him to stay awhile, she will talk very loudly to herself. The inflection of her voice to make Cloud feel guilty is what sells it.
  Aerith: And just when I had finished tending the flowers here... Gotta start over... Just me, myself, and I...
• During the Reno fight, if you or Reno spend too much time trampling over the flowers in the church fight, Aerith gets progressively more and more irritated with her lines of protest:
  Aerith: Hello! Watch your step!
  Aerith: You're gonna catch holy hell.
  Aerith: It's your fault if they come back to haunt you!
• After the fight, Reno is being helped out of the church, wincing the entire way as he mutters, "Beginner's luck."
• Aerith has a moment shortly after the escape from Reno at the church where she's climbing up an old, dilapidated ladder after Cloud.
  Cloud: It's pretty old. Be careful.
  Aerith: Okay... [stumbles a little mid-climb]
  Cloud: Easy now.
  Aerith: You worry too much. I'm not some princess that needs to be coddled.
  [the ladder snaps off right before she reaches the top and begins to lean inwards]
  Aerith: Shit.
  • Considering that most works featuring Aerith have a tendency to accentuate her apparent Incorruptible Pure Pureness, the fact that she casually swears qualifies in itself.
    • If you decide to not help her up and start walking offscreen, she'll let out an indignant "Cloud?!".
  • Later on during the same section, this exchange when fighting monsters:
    Cloud: Monsters instinctively go after the weakest prey.
    Aerith: Hmm. You'd better watch out then, Cloud!
    • After getting jumped by another pack of monsters later that go for Aerith first, she jokes that they must be a new breed because "they went for the stronger prey."
• When talking to Moggie to open the moogle Emporium, we get this little gem:
  Moggie: Only the purest of hearts can even see a moogle.
  Cloud: Uh...you talking 'bout me?
  Moggie: Well, moogle magic isn't perfect, kupo.
• One of Rude's attacks has him pick up a party member by their legs, then spin them around before tossing them, typically right into other party members.
  • The gag with his sunglasses getting damaged returns, with him once again pulling out another pair to replace them.
• At the end of Rude's boss fight, Rude looks ready to continue fighting when his phone starts going off. Rude then proceeds to take it out while Cloud and Aerith still have their weapons pointed at him and makes the call. We then hear Reno on the other end chewing Rude out for going off on his own and tells him to get back to base. Rude can only stammer in embarrassment before awkwardly acquiescing.
  • Even better, Rude's ringtone is the Final Fantasy victory fanfare.
  • There's also the fact that Reno is forced to be the responsible one, which is probably why he sounds so annoyed.
• Just before the aforementioned call, Aerith implores Rude to leave them alone. Rude replies "You know I can't do that." What happens after the call and Rude is leaving via helicopter?
  Rude: Go home and stay there.
  Aerith: You know I can't do that.
  Rude: [visibly unable to come up with a good comeback as the helicopter takes him away]
  • In his mind, it would be "touché" as a response but we know that he could not do that as he would be out of character if he lost his cool like Reno if he jumps back down from the helicopter to talk with Aerith some more.
• Aerith effortlessly getting Cloud to go with her running errands, despite his protests.
  Cloud: That wasn't the deal.
  Aerith: You mean you want more? Even though you've got a priceless reward coming your way? [to Elmyra] Do you know what I promised him?
  Cloud: I'll do it!
• Repeatedly fail to sneak out of Aerith's house at the end of Chapter 8 and she'll get more and more irritated as she puts him back in his place.
  [after Cloud fails to sneak out on the first try]
  Aerith: What are you doing?
  Cloud: ...Nothing.
  Aerith: Did you have a bad dream? Don't worry. You'll feel much better in the morning. And I promise to take you straight home.
  Cloud: Uh... Okay.
  [after Cloud fails to sneak out on the second try]
  Aerith: You jerk! I thought I told you not to leave your room. Now get back in there!
  Cloud: Okay...
  [after Cloud fails to sneak out on the third try and all subsequent tries after that]
  Aerith: No. More. Games.
  • Even better, the game puts a bucket right in front of you that Cloud obscures, meaning you'll almost inevitably kick it the moment you take a step forwards as a Troll for those who think this little moment will be way easier to deal with than the seemingly-random nature of the original minigame.
• A small one - during the sidequests in Sector 5, take Cloud and Aerith to the community building (the long grey building where you meet Mireille). Have Cloud and Aerith stand by the jukebox for awhile when music is on and they'll both start bopping to the music in their idle animations.

Chapter 9: The Town That Never Sleeps

• Chapter 9 has a Running Gag of Aerith trying to get Cloud to high-five her and him just not getting it. The first two times, Aerith is left awkwardly hanging as Cloud tries to figure out what's wrong. The third time, Cloud actually gets it and puts up his hand in anticipation, only for Aerith to not get it in turn, causing him to put his hand down in embarrassment and brush her off when she apologizes for it. Finally, before the two enter the Sector 6 park, Aerith tries to high-five again and this time it's a prompt for you to keep forward (complete with holding triangle, as if Cloud is trying to figure out what she is doing). However, if you leave her hanging long enough, she'll start to get annoyed.
  Aerith: Slowly losing circulation in arm...
• In the park outside the Sector 7 gate, you can actually play on the playground. Doing so will result in such hilarious scenes, like Cloud going down a slide. What makes it even more amusing is that Cloud will get really into hopping on the tires.
• When Cloud asks Chocobo Sam about if they saw Tifa, Sam asks him to describe her since he sees a lot of people come through. Your options include: "She's a good fighter", "She's good with books", and "She's in great shape". If you pick the last option, Aerith questions how important that is, while giving herself a look over as if she's a bit jealous. And no matter which option you choose, Aerith will make a snarky comment to Cloud... and Chocobo Sam instantly recognizes Cloud is asking about Tifa.
• The Running Gag through the Wall Market quests of Aerith's protests of "That's cheating!"
• Cloud asks Johnny if he's seen Tifa around, and Johnny goes off on a tangent, to say the least.
  Johnny: Tifa? My love, my light?! Who are you and how do you know her?! No, shut up. I don't care! Tifa's here? Why?! Tell me why! Oh god, no. I did this to her, didn't I? She came looking for me, to beg me not to leave her! Snap out of it, Johnny. Your Tifa needs you! [runs off] Tifa- I'm coming, baby!
  Aerith: Who was that...?
  Cloud: Nobody you want or need to know.
  • Even more hilarious is how Johnny doesn't recognize Cloud's voice at all as the one who threatened him to high tail it out of Midgar.
  • When they run into him later on, Aerith casually insults Johnny's intelligence.
• When they try the terminal that fires a Gatling gun at the user's position, Aerith ever so nonchalantly comments that it must be broken.
• Aerith and Cloud try to get to Don Corneo's place, with little success. One of the guards takes a shine to Aerith and calls her homely, which she slowly gets angry about.
  Corneo Lackey: Seriously, Les, she's not half bad! With a little work, I bet she'd clean up real nice.
  Aerith: Cloud... requesting permission to kill.
  Cloud: Denied.
  • The irony is that later on, alongside Tifa, Aerith does it anyway as one of the lackeys gets a chair shot to the head when Tifa and Aerith are not chosen by Don Corneo.
• If you do the sidequest for Ms. Folia, a teacher at the Leaf House in Sector 5, during Chapter 8, she'll say that she 'has a dream she needs to fulfill' tonight after she's done taking care of the orphans, and Aerith wondered what kind of dream she's chasing. Later in Chapter 9, if you explore the small alley behind the Honey Bee Inn in Wall Market, you can find Folia in a Honey Bee costume. Turns out her dream is to become a dancer and she comes to the Honey Bee Inn every night to live that dream. She'll chew out Cloud for digging into her personal affairs when he queries her about it, but nevertheless asks him to keep it a secret from the orphans at the Leaf House.
• Within seconds of meeting Cloud and Aerith, Madam M shows her infamous temper.
  Cloud: We're not customers.
  Madam M: Then you are...?
  Aerith: Hoping you can get us get an invite to an audition with Don C—
  Madam M: Oh for the love of— Say another word and I'll shove this fan right down your throat!
  Cloud & Aerith: [instantly shut up]
• Madam M demands for Cloud to pay for a massage before she is willing to help him and Aerith infiltrate Corneo's mansion. There are 3 options, each with a different price tag. While the more expensive options turn out okay (or better) for Cloud, picking the cheapest option will result in Madam M subjecting him to an "experimental" procedure. Cloud can only scream and thrash around in pain as Madam M lets out an Evil Laugh. There is even a distinct cracking sound as she twists his arm. When it's over, Cloud is clutching his arm in agony. He actually lost HP.
  Cloud: Everything hurts...
  • To add to it, the cheapest option plays incredibly sinister music that sounds more like something out of a horror film.
    Madam M: I should warn you. This technique has certain risks.
    Cloud: [eyes widen] Huh?
  • When Aerith asks him how it was, he replies "not now. Maybe not ever...". Apparently whoever did Madam M's soundproofing did an incredible job.
    Aerith: Did something happen to you in there?
    Cloud: [slumping against the wall] Just.... just give me a sec.
    Aerith: Just one?
    [beat]
    Cloud: Maybe a few minutes.
  • The "Standard" option is a pretty, well, standard massage, but one funny aspect of it is after it's done, just looking at how much Cloud starts flexing his fingers as if it's the most fascinating thing in the world. It's even funnier in Japanese when Madam M asks how he feels, as the word for flexing is waki-waki.
    Madam M: Ora. Waki-waki waki-waki.
  • The more expensive "Luxury" option is full of innuendo. Judging by the sounds Cloud makes it seems he finds the experience a bit... pleasant. Afterwards, he walks out in a trance-like, almost euphoric state. Then he walks past Aerith and lightly caresses a wall before leaning on it, clearly still feeling a little fuzzy. The exchange between the two as this happens is quite humorous.
    Aerith: How was it?
    Cloud: [distracted] Huh?
    Aerith: You okay?
    Cloud: Yeah...
    Aerith: You're acting weird, Cloud.
    Cloud: (stroking the wall) I am?
    Aerith: Really weird.
  • Just to hammer home just how zoned-out Cloud is, Aerith becomes the player-controlled character for the rest of the scene.
• When Cloud first goes into the Honeybee Inn to try to talk to Andrea, Aerith doesn't waste any chance to sass him.
  Cloud: Lemme handle this. You wait out here, okay?
  Aerith: And why would I do that? No, I'm coming with.
  Cloud: I'm not really sure that—
  Aerith: You're a man of many talents, but "talking" isn't one of them.
  Cloud: [grumbles but doesn't contradict her]
• The Colosseum has a few funny moments:
  • Scotch and Kotch introduce Cloud and Aerith as a couple on a date.
    Scotch: For our next match, we welcome two fighters — a young couple, no less!
    Kotch: Talk about a bad date!
    Scotch: This is their first tournament!
    Kotch: A bad first date!
  • When Cloud and Aerith first enter the Corneo Colosseum, one of the spectators mockingly asks Aerith if she's going to use her staff to do a pole dance, angering her.
    Spectator A: "Couple"!? Get outta here with that lovey-dovey bullshit!
    Spectator B: 'Sup with the pole!? Going to do a little dance for us, baby girl?
    [Aerith walks around in front of Cloud, clenching her fists]
    Aerith: Okay. Now I'm mad.
  • As Aerith and Cloud progress through the various opponents, they start receiving floral tributes from local organizations. First, a set of five tastefully done arrangements on stands are set up with a sign congratulating Aerith on her victories, from "Florist Watanabe." Go a little further, and suddenly two giant arangements are hung on the wall along with a giant card that says something like, "Celebrating your Final Victory! To Cloud, from representative of the Cloud Fan Club, Akila."
  • After Aerith and Cloud have beaten all the competition, as they enter the final event, you hear, "Aerith, I love you! Marry me!"
  • As Cloud and Aerith beat up their various foes, they end up retreating to one of the side rooms to grovel and groan in pain. It makes sense when it's Johnny, a beastmaster or a couple of bandits... but it gets a little silly when Chocobo Sam's champions, a pair of modified Sweepers, are also brought into the room as nothing but heaps of scrap metal.
  • Madam M's spectacular meltdown when she informs Cloud and Aerith that the competition is lengthened by Corneo at the last minute. Doubly funny in Japanese, since her cursing is censored. Triply funny when you realize, after meeting Corneo, that she's completely right.
    Madam M: You greedy bastard! Scum-sucking piece of shit festering asshole!
    Cloud & Aerith: Uh...
  • The infamous Hell House enemy is back, but this time it's a full-blown boss battle, serving as the final (mandatory) opponent in the Corneo Colosseum. Its also gained several new abilities to accommodate its new status, including chair missiles – whose endless quantity gets lampshaded by the commentators ("Where'd these chairs come from? Who do they belong to? Who needs all those chairs? I have so many questions!") – explosive plushies, rocket thrusters, and a Beehive Barrier that reduces most of your attacks to Scratch Damage. While that last one may not seem funny, the technique is referred to as "God House Mode".
    • To say nothing of the hurricane of housing-related jokes and puns that come out of Scotch and Kotch's mouths:
      "Just try and call this house warm and inviting now! We dare ya! We double-dog dare ya!"
      "The Hell House has welcomed its first guest! What kind of party is it!? I don't know, but I'm glad I wasn't invited!"
      "The lovebirds are going hard at the house, but they'll have to do better than that if they want to raze this roof!"
      "Did ya think it was over? Think again! This house is built to last!"
  • The Hell House fight gets brought up by Johnny while he's out with Cloud. The person he's talking to can't believe what he's hearing.
    Pharmacist: Your friend fought... a house? A house?
• And if Johnny himself wasn't enough, when you come out after winning the Corneo Cup one of the admirers outside is Johnny's old man, who can just see how Johnny and Cloud will become the best of friends, spurring each other on to new heights together.
• The entire side-quest involving the clothing shop's owner and his "inspiration". Johnny's a walking moment of hilarity as he accompanies you for the whole quest.
• The "Price of Thievery" quest has Cloud helping Mireille clear the name of the Angel of the Slums from some imposters who stole donations for the Leaf House. The stablehand insists that it must be the Angel of the Slums because of a calling card left behind...which is signed by the "Garden Angles". Mireille is very unamused.
• Then when you return to check in on Aerith's after doing all the area quests, you might have been looking forward to seeing her new outfit after all your hard work. Unfortunately...
  Johnny: [appearing out of nowhere at full sprint] NOOOOOOO! [proceeds to rant about Tifa, starting a quest which makes the door to Aerith inaccessible]
• Aerith's outfit is determined by how many quests you complete in Sector 5. If you rush through without doing any of them, she gets stuck with a plain-Jane, cheap-looking dress that she is mortified to appear in. Her appearance in it is accompanied by a comical version of her theme and her audience is a bunch of stray dogs, cats, and a rat. Also amusing is her appearance in the next-tier up dress, which draws the attention of a bunch of adolescent boys in accompaniment with an electric guitar version of her theme.
  • Aerith greeting Cloud is much more confident the better her dress. In her worst dress, she gives Cloud a shy "heya" and can barely meet his eyes.
  • This exchange with the plain dress:
    Cloud: Doesn't really matter if you get picked or not anyway.
    Aerith: Yeah, but still... You put a lot of work into this... [Beat] Did you put a lot of work into this?
  • When asked what he thinks of the low or mid tier dresses the scene will immediately cut into the main quest dialogue, suggesting Cloud is changing the subject in order to avoid answering Aerith's questions. With the low tier dress it's to dodge the above question, with the mid tier dress it's Cloud trying to avoid telling Aerith he likes seeing her in her dress.
    Aerith: [after showing off] What? You don't like it?
    Cloud: I... didn't say that.
    Aeith: [gleefully] Then... does that mean you do like it?
    Cloud: Uh...
  • Even her gorgeous dress has some moments where Cloud ends up gawking while Johnny's trying to clear a path for her and then he rolls the red carpet for her. There are even fireworks accompanied by a close-up of Cloud's stunned face. All accompanied to Aerith's theme remixed as something right out of a romance movie.
  • The fact that Cloud is so caught off guard when Aerith shows up in the top tier dress is very amusing. He actually gets flustered when trying to speak with Aerith and fumbles his words.
    Cloud: That's really...
    Aerith: Yeah. Corneo's got certain... Tastes. This dress is so gaudy and impossible to move in...
    Cloud: [stammering] Y-yeah...
    Aerith: [annoyed] Cloud!?
    Cloud: 'Scuse me.
• Wall Market is (unironically) one of the many reasons fans clamored for a remake. Just like in the original, Cloud has to pass off as a woman in order to sneak himself and Aerith into Don Corneo's mansion and rescue Tifa.
  • In order to obtain the disguise, Cloud must participate in a flashy dance number with Andrea Rhodea, the owner of the Honeybee Inn, as part of a live performance. While Cloud is a surprisingly good dancer, he remains stone-faced throughout the entire show, even as he and Andrea get into some rather...interesting positions.
  • When he isn't showing confusion, Cloud's facial contortions alternate between I don't get paid enough for this, and Sephiroth, buddy, amigo: kill me now, please.
  • When Cloud actually sees what he's in for, his first reaction is to just nope on out of there. He dodges two groups of Honeybee Inn dancers trying to keep him there, only to see Aerith whooping in the audience, and he slumps his shoulders as he shoots her a ""Goddammit Aerith!" glare, then goes to join the dance.
  • Aerith's glee is even more over the top in this version. When Cloud is forced to dance onstage, it keeps cutting to her cheering and waving her arms to the music like they're in a music video, before ending with her literally panting in anticipation of seeing Cloud in a dress. Yes, yes, show me the twink!
    Aerith: You're a star!
    Aerith: Keep it up, Cloud! Work it!
    Aerith: Nice moves! I love it!
  • On the other hand, failing the dance leaves Aerith... less than impressed, let's say.
    Aerith: Well, you tried...?
  • Cloud surprisingly is very convincing in his disguise, except for his voice.
    Cloud: Not a word.
    Aerith: Not even one?
    Cloud: No!
    Aerith: But you're so pretty!
  • Ol' Thunder Head is looking good these days. (And he actually does look a lot like Lightning while in drag.) Nobody goes into this thing aiming for the worst dress, but the lower-tier dresses are quietly funny on their own. The beauticians couldn't do anything with Cloud's spiky hair, so they slapped some cheap braid extensions to the nape of his neck! (He had them in the original game, too.)
  • Not only that, but Cloud's appearance in his dress with the braid extensions in his hair apparently also took inspiration from American pop star Britney Spears as she appeared in the music video for her 1998 debut single, "...Baby One More Time".
  • For the highest-tier dress, the beauticians are able to give him loose hair extensions instead that look more natural. The funny part is that Cloud's spiky hair is now nestling a tiara, which makes it look like the tiara is crowning his spiky hair rather than his head.
  • Walking by Wall Market has many onlookers getting smitten by Cloud's disguise, so much that a guy stares at him while his girlfriend complains. If the player decides to talk to Chadley, the boy will get flustered and try to process an "emotional response."
  • If Cloud opens a treasure chest in his female disguise, he will kick it open instead of using his hands.
  • A hilarious and cute detail is that if you try and have Aerith take a peek at Cloud's face as they're walking down the street, he will turn away no matter how hard she tries to look to avoid meeting her gaze. Later on, after initially failing to recognize Cloud in a dress for the first time, despite the fact that he said her name, Tifa does a double-take, and as soon as she recognizes him in the dress, she instantly starts admiring his makeover.
    Tifa: Wait a minute... [gasp] Cloud!? Is that you!? Oh my god, that makeup! And that dress!
    Cloud: (very quickly) Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on.
  • When Cloud says the line above, he is not looking at Tifa, but in the direction of the camera and the player. It seems the developers wanted to send a message to fans who speculated on the crossdressing mission when the game was still in development.
  • He doesn't even bother to disguise his voice, though — not that anyone notices or comments on it. Corneo actually gets surprised when he hears "the big-boned girl" speak!
  • One man calls Cloud "the most beautiful girl in the world" to the ire of his date, who he had said the same thing to. He tries to placate her by saying she's the most beautiful in the world, while Cloud is the most beautiful in the universe.
• During her and Tifa's escape from Don Corneo's men, Aerith trips a thug by literally pulling the rug out from underneath him. When the guy tries to get back up he turns around to find Aerith gleefully smiling and holding a steel folding chair, which she precedes to hit him in the head with like a pro-wrestler. After the fight, the two girls have an adorable moment of mutual admiration, with Aerith even imitating Tifa's punches and kicks.
• When presented with his clothes, Cloud is so desperate to get out of the dress that he proceeds to strip right in front of everyone. The view cuts to a very interested Don Corneo. Don Corneo inches forward to have a better look as Cloud changes clothes as fast as he can. Watching Don Corneo's face go from excited, to confused, then shock and disbelief is worth a laugh.
  • Given his reactions and behavior afterwards it seemed like he didn't so much mind Cloud being a man as he was bummed out that he wasn't getting laid anymore.
• Also like in the original, Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa threaten Don Corneo and say that if he doesn't talk, they'll cut them off, rip them off, and smash them respectively.
  • In a meta sense, it's pretty hilarious that the song that plays during Tifa and Aerith's rampage through Corneo Mansion is titled "Rip'em, Smash'em" — in reference to this specific scene.

Chapter 10: Rough Waters

• While escaping the sewers, Aerith and Tifa make plans to go shopping up on the plate...
  Tifa: [semi-whispering, conspiratorially] Cloud can carry all our stuff!
  Aerith: [semi whispering] He'll be our pack chocobo!
  Cloud: What was that about me?
  Tifa: Nothing!

Chapter 11: Haunted

• During the Train Graveyard dungeon, at one point the roof of a train gives way and the party fall through. The way the camera is angled and their screams of panic make the scene look more like something out of a cartoon.
• When both girls try to convince Cloud to enter the haunted train yard first, Aerith possessively grabs Cloud's arm while making a catty remark to Tifa. Tifa's reaction is to grab Cloud's other arm. What sells it completely is Cloud's reaction, or more specifically, the lack thereof.
  Aerith: [grabbing Cloud's arm] It'll be fine! We've got a bodyguard, don't forget. Mine!
  [camera cuts to a very unamused Tifa]
  Tifa: [unhappy noise]
  Aerith: [to Cloud] Right?
  Cloud: [hesitantly] Ghosts aren't my thing.
  Tifa: [grabbing Cloud's free arm] You're just being modest! After you!
  Cloud: [deadpan] Mind letting me go then?
  • Even better, when the player tries to move forward, Cloud struggles a bit to move before he pulls his arms free.
  • There are also subtle hints that Cloud is just as spooked by the idea of ghosts as the girls and that he's doing his best to keep a brave face. The hesitation in his voice, as well as his having just as strong a reaction as Tifa when a ghost appears sells it.
• There's a humorous contrast with Aerith's attitude in the train yard. Cloud is on edge, Tifa's on the verge of freaking out, but Aerith (who can sense the intent behind the ghosts' actions) is treating it like a game of Hide-and-Seek. And when she does get annoyed by their antics, she just tells them, "That's not funny."
• Even in battle, Aerith's plucky attitude rarely ceases to shine. If she's in a team of three and gets put to sleep, she might deliver this gem when she snaps out of it:
  Aerith: [sleepily and sounding like she doesn't know where she is] Good morning, guys...

Chapter 12: Fight for Survival

• Reno and Rude have a few funny moments in Chapter 12. Clearly resentful for the job they've been given, Reno gives a rather half-assed speech to play the role he's given. Children have performed Nativity plays more convincingly.
  Reno: Testing, testing... Attention, Avalanche scum! We know all about your evil plans to destroy the pillar. But the Turks-uh! But Shinra - that's us - won't let you get away with it! So go crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of, or something! [beat] ...That oughta do it, right?
  • Rude delivers the "Shinra does not negotiate with terrorists" line afterwards in a rather stilted way, which Reno can't stop himself from laughing at.
  • We see Rude's crush on Tifa in effect when Reno prepares to shoot her, only for Rude to jerk the helicopter off to the side, ensuring he misses (and bashes his head off the window). Reno is NOT amused.
    Reno: Dammit! You wanna explain yourself, partner?
    Rude: Uh... Hand slipped.
  • He may not enjoy the mission, but Reno clearly enjoys the chance to face Cloud again. The VA's performance makes it all the more fun.
    Reno: It's nothing personal... Bitch!

Chapter 13: A Broken World

• While there isn't much to laugh about in Chapter 13, there are some amusing moments, such as when Barret has to save Tifa from a swarm of insects by destroying their nest, which causes an explosion that incinerates them all. Barret looks down at it and mutters, "Sorry".
• When Tifa rejoins the party, she asks,
  Tifa: I'm afraid to ask, but did you shoot your way in here?
  Barret: Well, yeah!
  [stunned silence]
  Barret: Worked, didn't it?

Chapter 14: In Search of Hope

• During Chapter 14, one of the side missions involves you picking a fight with some Don Corneo goons who've been looking for Barret. Their secret weapon? A Tonberry. A single one. With a tiny knife. That the goons seem to treat the thing like it were a cold-blooded mercenary hired to carry out a hit is one form of hilarity. But the fight itself cranks the comedy up even more by having it walk ridiculously slowly, be an absurdly resilient tank with a ton of HP, and also be able to one-hit-kill you by shanking you with the knife. Pure Refuge in Audacity. Oh, and did we mention it can also teleport?
• Amusingly enough, Barret spends the early parts of Chapter 14 Locked Out of the Loop regarding what exactly transpired with Cloud and Tifa during their last visit to Sector 6. Cloud swiftly changes the subject when Barret asks him how he's acquainted with Andrea while Tifa refuses to talk about why she hates Don Corneo so much.

Chapter 15: The Day Midgar Stood Still

• Early in Chapter 15, Barret sees the giant building they have to climb.
  Barret: If it comes apart while we're up there... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *plbt*"
• The party defeats a seemingly random group of Shinra SOLDIERs, after which they discover a radio and a call coming in. Cloud pretends to be the guy they just defeated, claiming that they just put down a few monsters, and the guy on the other end complains about Avalanche making them work overtime. Following this, Barret grabs the radio, shouting that they ain't running or hiding. "Call was over," deadpans Cloud.

Chapter 16: The Belly of the Beast

• Infiltrating Shinra's HQ building by hopping on a truck seems a bit silly. First off, the truck driver didn't notice the impact of three people landing on the cargo hold and clearly didn't seem to be perturbed at suddenly carrying lots of extra weight. Next, the guards at the parking lot check under the truck, but don't bother to check the top of the truck. And then, once the driver is cleared to park his vehicle, he floors the accelerator and sends Barret and Tifa toppling from the truck's roof. Barret and Tifa land on top of two Shinra grunts, Tifa landing on a grunt's chest and Barret landing butt-first onto the other guy's back. The grunt under Barret looks pretty pissed. The last grunt, puzzled at the strange turn of events, turns around and freaks out at the sight of Cloud. And then Barret and Tifa get into battle formation. Which means they just let two angry troopers also get ready for the fight that ensues. Something doesn't sound right about this sequence...
  • Let's take a closer look at the impact. One guy got Tifa landing on top of him. Lucky bastard, it's not everyday that a pretty girl comes falling out of the sky and lands on your chest. The other guy had Barrett land on him. Unlucky bastard, it's not every day that an angry terrorist comes falling out of the sky and lands on your back.
• The infamously long Shinra stairs return, and even better! It starts with the normal, creepy music replaced by a heroic orchestral piece, which is already hilarious... and then as the party hauls themselves up, the sound quality degrades along with their stamina. Barret starts singing a meant-to-be-motivational song, but he is so depleted near the end that he sounds like he's on the verge of crying.
  Barret: Another day, another struggle... Climbing stairs [starts sobbing] is so much trouble.
  • Hilariously enough, players can actually climb the stairs again if they so wish at full speed if players either took the stairs down or the elevator again. And Barret can actually keep up just fine!
  • No matter how much the player wants to compete with Tifa running up the stairs, she will always take the lead and Cloud eventually and stoically slows down himself, from running to jogging to walking like a half-dead man. Barret telling Cloud to wait up adds to the hilarity.
  • Climbing nearly 60 stories worth of stairs doesn't just take a toll on the team physically, but mentally too, and everyone becomes completely irritated with each other the further they go. Cloud gets annoyed with Barret acting all gung ho instead of pacing himself like he suggested, Barret gets annoyed with Cloud's backtalk, and Tifa acts like she has to put up with two children who never stop arguing and tells them to behave. Even when Cloud tries to retort with a joke, she's not having it.
    Barret: You can stop if you want. Can even say it's for me.
    Cloud: Just say you can't hack it.
    Barret: I'll hack you, jackass!
    Tifa: That's enough from both of you. Stupid arguments aren't going to get us there faster.
    Cloud: But Tifa, I wasn't—
    Tifa: Not now. Save it for the top!
    Barret: But tell me, these stairs...are these stairs ever gonna end?
    Tifa: I dunno! Ask the stairs!
    Cloud: I don't think the stairs are talking.
    Barret: Well, duh. I mean...duh.
    Cloud: I was joking.
    Tifa: That's enough from both of you.
  • At one point Barret says he would have preferred a suicidal last stand because at least that would have an end.
• Taking the elevator, meanwhile, has its own few funny moments. Rather than going directly to the 59th floor, the elevator stops at the tenth, where a fight with a couple of guards ensues. Then at the 20th, where another fight ensues. Then at the 30th, where the party gets ready for a fight... only to find an office lady too terrified of them to react, before the door slowly closes and the elevator goes up again. Then the 40th floor, where a Shinra employee on his phone enters, seemingly not realizing who he's sharing the elevator with, continues his conversation with his mother, leaving at the 50th floor, while telling his mom they need to be watchful for any further signs of Avalanche attack.
  • Mayor Domino gives the entire team a What the Hell, Hero? speech later on, pointing out how everything they've done as part of their infiltration was done completely wrong. The dialogue assumes the team took the elevator, but it's just as funny if they took the stairs because it means he's the one completely wrong.
    Domino: You've been caught by security several times, walked in front of every other camera, and scared an accountant half to death!
• Barret has some great reactions during the museum and virtual tours on the 60th and 61st floors with his "Oh hell no!" reaction to President Shinra's statue and concluding that the virtual tour- which Sephiroth hijacked to show Meteor destroying Midgar- was not suitable for children.
• During the tour, the player can interact with holograms of Palmer, Hojo, and Reeve. Palmer clumsily reveals that he's reading off a piece of paper, then goes off script about how the plans for space are on hold. Hojo dismisses the entire recording as a waste of time for himself and the audience since whatever he does is completely beyond their comprehension and his time is better spent elsewhere.
• How do you find the Avalanche collaborator? Go around trying to get a response to the passcode "The Mayor." Several people obviously don't respond as intended, least of all the cafeteria cashier, who thinks Cloud is asking for mayonnaise. This silliness could be avoided by paying Hart 10000 Gil.
• One of the first Shinra executives to discover that Sephiroth's still alive? Of all people, Palmer, who's in the middle of bemoaning for his tea lacking butter when he looks up and sees the One-Winged Angel strolling down the hall right towards him. Needless to say, the Fat Idiot drops his teacup and stumbles up against a nearby wall in panic... and Sephiroth just keeps walking past him as if he was never there in the first place. Considering his usual track record, it's kind of surreal to see Sephiroth not killing or menacing someone. Of course, Sephiroth might've just concluded that Palmer was Not Worth Killing, which is itself kind of hilarious.

Chapter 17: Deliverance from Chaos

• Another Cloud moment: After defeating the Pride and Joy Prototype, Chadley reveals his true identity as a cyborg assistant to Hojo who Grew Beyond Their Programming and yearned for freedom. Cloud's response?
  Cloud: Cool.
• Aerith nearly kills Cloud and Barret when she opens a large door while in Hojo's lab, because neither were fully paying attention to it about to fall onto them from being broken. Aerith just merely pops her head out with a smile and says "Hiya guys!"
  • Even funnier is the clip right before, which is Hojo watching Cloud and Barret angrily tearing the door.
• This exchange between Heidegger, Barret, Aerith & Red XIII.
  Heidegger: So then — what is this ragtag group of misfits I see before me?
  Barret: Avalanche!
  Aerith: Local florist!
  Red XIII: Lab rat dog.
  Heidigger: And where are the rest of you?
  Barret: Up yo' ass!
  • Even funnier, Red XIII didn't want to be called a lab rat dog when the party first meets him and yet still used it to describe himself anyway.
• Cloud and Tifa's Big Damn Heroes moment. First, Cloud crashes in on a ridiculously badass motorcycle...followed by Tifa driving in a sputtering pastel-blue mini truck. Wrapped up with Barrett grumbling at Cloud's high-performance ride before Tifa starts driving them off:
  Barret: Why's he always gotta--Whoa! Shit.

Chapter 18: Destiny's Crossroads

• Barret comments that Red XIII should lighten up a bit and suggests he try smiling. Red XIII pauses, and smiles, showing all his canines. Barret takes back his words and says scowling might suit Red XIII more, and he pouts.
• As the party is making their escape via the highway with Shinra in hot pursuit, the following gem occurs once MOTOR is unleashed:
  Barret: C'mon! You see the piece of shit we're driving here!?
  Red XIII: Says the three hundred pound sack of it.
  Barret: Hey!
• At the end of the game if Aerith is in your party. When she comes to help fight Sephiroth, Cloud will warn her that he's tough. Her response? "Yeah? So what? Screw him."
• Rufus ignoring Heidegger calling him "Mister Vice President" only to respond to Tseng's calling him "Mister President" before taking his father's seat is unintentionally funny, considering a very similar scene plays out in the 1994 film adaptation of Richie Rich. It almost feels like an homage.

Episode INTERmission

Chapter 1: Wutai's Finest

• The Happy Turtle flyer side quest has each banner accompanied by a remix of the main Happy Turtle song. The original is already a bizzarely modern song for a store run by an old man, but the others veer into genres like beach party mix, a dance mix, Doo-wop, and even Death Metal. All of which talk about drinking at a tea restaurant with appropriately-adjusted lyrics (such as the Death Metal one talking about getting fully wrecked and blind drunk... at the Happy Turtle).
• During the events of Intergrade, Yuffie and Sonon are attempting to rescue a friend and stumble across a sleeping boss. After a warning from Sonon, they try to sneak around, only for Yuffie to get spooked by a mouse and wake it. Sonon's facepalm and expression of This Is Gonna Suck says it all.
  Yuffie: Gotta be quiet... Very quiet... As quiet as a mouse...
  [Yuffie stumbles across a mouse]
  Yuffie: Eek.
  [Levrikon wakes up]
  Yuffie: [nervous laughter] Uh... Good morning!
  Sonon: [after facepalming and groaning in resignation] Why me?
  [Levrikon charges and the boss battle starts]
  Yuffie: Please don't eat me. I taste terrible!

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