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Funny / Destiny

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For funny moments from Destiny 2, go here.

The Game:

  • A lot of item flavor text and names:
    The Comedian: "A. A ha. A ha ha ha. A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
    Steel Oracle Z-11: "I foresee fire. Fire and screams." "You would, mate. You're a rocket launcher."
    A Little Voice: "Pardon me, but could I interrupt?"
    Ice Breaker: "Please replace these components if use causes fatal damage: HEAT SINK. MAGAZINE. OPERATOR"
    LIGHT/Beware: "More light! More light!"
    Doom Echo XI: "The name is not hyperbole."
    Double Nickel: "A blunt reminder that this particular room belongs to you."
    Doctor Nope: "First, do no* harm. *For values of 'no' approaching 'vast and permanent'."
    Avenue A: "Looks like that poor fellow took a wrong turn."
    Eclypse V/MX2: "If it's worth shooting once, it's worth shooting - how many times was that?"
    Spirit of Alliance: "Named by a very optimistic Earthborn Awoken, or his equally oblivious Reefborn counterpart."
    A.1F19X-Ryl: "Trepanning is the art of cutting the skull open to let the gods in."
    Praedyth's Timepiece: "He skipped like a stone on time's ocean. This is what's left." - Unknown"
    SudaZomba-3: "Sing along. The rhythm's not hard to catch."
    Unfriendly Giant: "Unfriendly is really too harsh. He's just a bit shy."
    Problem 78F: "Cabal military codes allegedly refer to 'death by multiple gunshots' as 'Problem 78, Subsection F'."
    Super Pox VLO: Found in a Null-g Hangar, drifting alongside fourteen limbless and decapitated Fallen corpses.
    Vision of Confluence: "My God. It's full of stars."
    Dustwalker Cloak: A good survival cape that can be used as a hull patch, bandage, tourniquet, pressure seal, picnic blanket...
    Frumious Cloak: "Tell the Warlocks your cloak is frabjous. They respect words they don't understand."
    Mark of Fury: "We can wait until the Traveler falls! Or we can go out there and kill them!" — from a doctrinal dispute
    Holdfast Type 2: "I didn't get shot. I never get shot. I just body-checked the missile."
    Objekt 959 Greaves: "How does it feel to land a six-feet jump in full armor? That depends who you're landing on."
    Dusk Tread VI: "Contrary to Hunter assertion, 'floofing about' is NOT an acceptable term for gliding."
    No Footprints: "Gravity? Oh, that nuisance. I never bother with it." — Lyssa, the Lighthearted
    Mark of the Dauntless: "Yes, we've achieved the objective. And the next. And the… were we supposed to stop attacking?" — Wei Ning
    Unity Clade: "It can be difficult to lead Hunters. I suggest you hint you're from a future where they've all died."
    Spearhead Type 0 (Helmet): PUJARI-WEI RATIO: colloquial. Amount of time Warlocks spend planning battles versus time Titans spend winning them.
    Spearhead Type 0 (Chest): This burn's from a slug rifle. That one's a shock blade. This one... ah, yes. Wei Ning gave me a hug
    Spearhead Type 0 (Gauntlets): "To conserve ammo, we disrupted the enemy command structure with several sharp blows to the skull" -Wei Ning
    Zero Point LOTP: This much fun should be outlawed.
    Sawtooth Oscillator: Additive synthesis, where A is amplitude and B is bullets in their face.
    NL Shadow 701X: ... most just call it death
    Spare Change.25: Keep it.
    Party Crasher+1: I said INVITE ONLY!
    AR760 Truth Serum: Lie to me, please
    Bog Wild 1.0 (Helmet): "Learn the swamp's secrets. Keep the swamp's secrets. Lie awake at night, horrified by the swamp's murky secrets."
    Bog Wild 1.0 (Gauntlets): "Try not to get bogged down in the little things."
    Bog Wild 1.0 (Chestpiece): "Just your bog-standard gear."
    On The Marsh: "Swamp camouflage is the hottest fashion these days."
    Mau'ual's Maulers: Valus Mau'ual's once thought himself mighty. Valus Mau'ual doesn't think much of anything anymore.
    The Next Big Thing: "Actually, I'm pretty famous on Mars, so..."
    In Times of Need: "In case of emergency, point at enemies and pull trigger. Repeat as necessary."
    The Highest Squidder: "Are you squidding me?"
    Lead Scout's Cloak: "To clear mines: Step on mine. Wait for Ghost revival. Step on mine 2. Wait for Ghost. Step on-"
    Kellhunters Hood: "Here's my plan to be Kell. Fallen seem to respect violence and big capes. I'm really violent, and I found this cape."
    Scipio-E: "The Scipio-Echo is a portable lesson in the meaning of 'ballistic trauma'."
    Mangonel Type 2: "Tactics? Psh. Just use your head. Literally ram your head into them" -Wei Ning.
    Stellar Impact Helm: Welcome to Mark 2 STELLAR IMPACT. Guaranteed to make an impression - literally and figuratively - or your glimmer back.
    Disassembly Required: Step 1: Point at enemy. Step 2: Disassemble enemy.
    Ahamkara Scale: "And that Warlock thought I couldn't do it. Hah!" note 
  • The dance emote. The playable beta was filled with players trying out the dance emote and reaching questionable places to dance on. Even Bungie acknowledges the memetic status of it on their last tweet warning the shutdown of the beta.note 
    • Players dancing on questionable places usually results in numerous kill-feed notifications inside non-combat area as players fall to their death.
  • This video about the Ghost taking the Ice Bucket challenge. Seeing a Hive Wizard throw a bucket of water to Earth from the Moon, then seeing Dinklebot shiver and shake himself while the Hunter standing beside it does a Slow Clap (followed by the Ghost saying "That came from the moon!") before getting clocked by the bucket will get at least one laugh out of you.
  • The Live Action Trailer is full of humorous moments including
    • A warlock giving the Ghost trouble for being a downer
    • The trio deciding to attack a Hive base because they defaced Neil Armstrong's footprints
    Titan: There's nothing I hate more then an alien with no respect for history!
    • The trio are looking at the doors to the Temple of Crota from a nearby hill.
    Warlock: *Checks out the door with binoculars* Knock knock.
    Titan: Who's there? *Blows up the door with Gjallarhorn, hundreds of thrall come spilling out*
    Warlock: Well now it's a party.
    • Deciding what music to listen to while kicking Hive ass
    "Something... Classical."
    • "I can say hello in any language"
      • The Hunter popping his hood after blowing up the Cabal.
    • The ending scene.
    Hunter: Whaddya think is down there?
    Ghost: Uh... death.
    *Warlock jumps in*
    Titan: I hate when she does that.
  • "Little Light". Even your character gets in on it.
    Ghost: Can't we stay here with all of the murderous robots?
    Guardian: No...little light.
    Ghost: (frowns) Don't do that.
    • Adding to the humour of the moment is that during the conversation the music swells dramatically as the Player Character says they'll have to go to The Reef. The music stops abruptly when the Ghost gives the above reply.
    • In The Dark Below, a legendary jumpship was added named "Little Light". The item's description? "That's not funny".
    • The Taken King added an Emblem depicting Ghost. Name? "Little Light".
  • Tactical dancing in Crucible. A taste. Time will tell if Bungie will take a nerf bat to it.
  • When traveling to the Reef.
    Guardian: Looks like we're in the right place.
    Ghost: Why is the right place always so terrifying?
  • Make a Defender Titan. Find another person using a rocket launcher. Deploy Ward of Dawn on top of him/her. Hoist by Their Own Petard and Hilarity Ensues in one package.
  • While heading to the World's Grave:
    Ghost: This should lead us right to the Grave.
    (Beat)
    Ghost: The World's Grave, not ours.
  • Pointing at Crota, Son of Oryx in Crota's End causes him to point back. Being singled out by the Monster of Luna can be rather unsettling, but, in the right parties, it doesn't take long for that to devolve into getting into a pointing match with the God-Knight.
    • He waves too.
    Anonymous Guardian: "Yeah, well I'll point right back at you, you big, green bug-guy. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, that was the wrong finger. Let me try again."
  • Crota. Big. Huge. Swordy. And sneeeeeeaky.
  • Variks from the House of Wolves expansion is the source of many funny moments, but nothing can top this:
    Fang Commander: (Fallen intercom chatter)
    Variks: That was commander of the Fang. He just called you a...well, it was an insult.
    • Another notable moment:
    Variks: They will try to kill you. Kill them back.
  • Often missed are a number of quips from the people in the Tower:
    Cayde-6: "(After you talk with him) Hey... Take me with you? ... Please?"
    Cayde-6: "Hey, uh... *whispering* Take me with you..."
    Ikora Rey: (While idling near her) "It's like that time I had that stare-off with Brask... Did I Say That Out Loud?"
    Cayde-6: (While idling near him) "Hey, how 'bout you stand here and do my job; I'll go out there and do yours, which is stand around?"
    Lord Shaxx: (Randomly) "Yeah, well screw them."
    Executor Hideo: "I don't get that FWC. 'Life sucks, boo hoo, nothing we can do about it.' Traitor talk."
    Executor Hideo: "That innocent scholar act? The cryptarchs are more of a player than they pretend."
    Ikora Ray: (If you're a Titan) "Tired of punching everything?"
    Flight Controller 5530: (Randomly, over intercom) "Flight Controller 5530, signing off. I quit."
    Cayde-6 (Over intercom): "Hello, this is Cayde-6 of the Vanguard. I realize that this is abuse of the Tower P.A., but whoever took my sparrow, I will find you. And you'll wear a sign that says you stole... Never mind, never mind! It's right here."
    Zavala: "Fireteam... (sigh)... Fireteam "The-bad-guys-don't-care-what-we-call-ourselves-do-they?", report in. Zavala out."
    Tower PA: Guardians, this is the second round of announcements: a Ghost is no excuse for recreational Tower jumping.
    Tower P.A.: "All Titans interested in Commander Zavala’s crochet course should speak with a frame for details."
    Cayde-6: "Hello, this is Cayde-6 of the Vanguard. I have a warning out for Hideo of the New Monarchy: you know what you did. Watch yourself.
    Zavala: "If you think this armor is impressive... you should see me out of it."
    Ikora Ray: (over PA) This is Ikora Ray. The South Tower is off limits to all Guardians. We're still cleaning up from last night's...event...
    Lord Shaxx: "I'd tell you to hit me. But I think it would hurt."
  • Cayde-6's snarky demeanor is funny in itself considering that he's a freaking Exo. And you think robots don't have humor...
  • The fact that Lord Shaxx generally commemorates Guardians capturing a strategic site by immediately turning the area into a Crucible arena. Important research sites on Mercury or the Moon? Send some Guardians to kill each other over it. Strategically-useful Cabal military outpost? Another Crucible map. The middle of the Black Garden? The gate's open, so let's have some Guardians shoot each other in the face there while we can!
    • Lord Shaxx has become almost too excited watching Guardians go at each other after the Taken King patch added new dialogue for him, going from absolute joy when you're winning to being downright nasty when you're losing.
      Lord Shaxx: (Upon defeat) Do you like it better when Lord Saladin oversees these matches? Do I look like I care!? Get back in there!
      Lord Shaxx: (Upon getting a 10-kill streak) What I wouldn't give to fight again beyond the walls. I would tear out a Vex heart with my teeth! I would sear the Cabal with my burning light! Challenge the Fallen Kells to personal combat and scatter them! I... I've been watching too many Crucible matches...
      Lord Shaxx: (10-kill streak alternate dialogue) FIGHT FOREVER, GUARDIAN!!! HAHA!
  • A new trailer for The Taken King has arrived, starting with some bleak narration and footage of things to come... before leading to some pretty serious Mood Whiplash.
    Narrator: "All actions have consequences... And ours have angered a god."
    Beat
    *Cue Led Zeppelin's Black Dog*
    • What well and truly sells it is Cayde's ending scene, where he turns around, shrugs in a 'what can you do' manner with the Exo-version of a shit-eating grin and says in a way too excited voice:
    Cayde: Send in the cavalry!
  • The Coming War, the first story mission of The Taken King, is almost pure Nightmare Fuel, but there is this funny moment when Commander Zavala proves that not having a sense of humor is sometimes the best way to show it. When the player sees a ball of light flying around the Cabal base while Zavala and Eris Morn are observing, with Eris distracted by "whispers in the Dark":
    Zavala: What the hell was that?!
    Eris: (Not paying attention) Fingertips on the surface of my mind...!
    Zavala: Yes... uh, thank you for your input, Eris.
  • The Taken King live-action trailer brings back the previous crew for some Casual Danger Dialogue.
    Warlock: "We're close. Any sign of the 'Evil King'?"
    Titan: "Nope. What are you so worried about?"
    Hunter: "Well, you did kill his son. And you are on his ship."
    Titan: "Ah, I doubt he even remembers me."
    Warlock: "Just couldn't wait, could you?"
    Titan: "For what? Papa Bear's a no-show!"
    (Oryx forms behind him as he speaks)
    Titan: "Uh... he's right behind me, isn't he?"
    Hunter: "Aw, man! You killed HIS son?!"
    Titan: "Yeah. Been working on my apology all week."
  • While the Books of Sorrow Grimoire cards are mostly filled with fascinating background on the Hive intermixed with a few Wham Lines, plentiful Nightmare Fuel, and the oddly endearing relationships between Oryx and his family, there's also the chronicle of how the Hive first encountered the Vex, which is almost like something out of a prime-time sitcom. Crota kind of accidentally unleashed all of the Vex into Oryx's throne room while daddy was away, Crota and his sisters complaining about how Oryx is totally going to eat their souls when he gets back, the Hive god Eir screaming at the top of its lungs for Oryx to come set his house back in order because there's all these Vex everywhere building things, and Oryx finally coming home and punishing Crota by just picking up his idiot son by the leg and chucking him into the Vex gate network, and basically telling him to kick ass throughout history or else, which Crota promptly does.
    • What prompted this? Ir Halak and Ir Anuk, twin Hive Wizards, repeatedly letting themselves die in order to find a way to make themselves immortal. Oryx orders Crota to watch over them, saying he might learn something. Except Crota decides to join in on the fun, and well, the rest is history.
    • When Ir Anuk and Ir Halak are explaining what they're doing, Oryx actually gets annoyed, draws his sword, and tells basically tells them to speak in a language he can understand.
    • The fact that the invading Vex are referred to as building "problems." It's just such an incredibly simplistic way for the Hive's religious texts to describe time-traveling, reality-warping machine intelligences abruptly showing up and assimilating Oryx's home as "problems."
    • When the first Vex come pouring through the portal Crota opened, he does the equivalent of "I got this!" And attempts to strike it down, Vex being the Vex they pull off the teleport spam that plagues players and Crota promptly misses his sword strike.
  • You know how players like to goof off, zip around doing crazy stunts on their Sparrows, and dance whenever they defeat a tough enemy? The Cabal noticed.
    Blind Legion I Cohort/Century 3/Maniple 3
    5 Squad [HEAVY INF]
    TASK:
    - defend Psion intelligence ops 071x146
    OUTCOME:
    - overwhelmed by Guardian fireteam/Vex pressure. few survivors. survivors reported Guardians foraging for equipment, dancing, and performing acrobatics with light vehicles.
  • The Guardians' love of a certain overpowered rocket launcher. Especially given that Guardians have a tendency to aim it at dropships during public events.
    Dust Giant IV Cohort/Century 4/Maniple 1
    Harvester Dropship [TAC AIR]
    TASK:
    - support IV/4/1/4 operations in 071x145
    OUTCOME:
    - dropship shot down. crew reported Guardians operating elaborate totem rocket weapons.
  • While the cutscene after The Coming War is mostly a serious discussion about how the Awoken Fleet was wiped out by Oryx in one shot of his weapon and how Oryx is marshaling an army of Taken, there's one bit of lightheartedness taking the form of, of course, Cayde-6.
    Ikora: We need a Warlock inside that dreadnought.
    Cayde-6: (practically rolling his eyes) Here we go...
    • And, a few seconds later...
    Cayde-6: (Eris has just made the rock she's always holding hover over the map of the Dreadnaught) Eris. Get. Your rock. Off. My map.
    • Later, at the end of the cutscene:
    Cayde: I gotta go... see about a ship.
    (Tosses Eris' rock at her as he leaves)
    Zavala: Cayde, our discussion is not concluded.
    Cayde: Oh, I know. It's why I'm leaving.
  • Cayde telling Zavala that the Guardian placed a transmat link of the Dreadnaught. You could hear Zavala's mind say "You what?!"
    Cayde: Hey Zavala, you want to know what a transmat zone on the Dreadnaught looks like?
    Zavala: You landed a Guardian on the Dreadnaught without authorization?!
    Cayde: Oh, right. Can I have authorization?
    • Unorthodox a mission though it may be once Zavala knows they have a foothold he immediately jumps in and takes command of the operation, unable to argue with results at the end of the day. It's as if he thought to himself 'fuck it, if there's a transmat zone then we might as well get to work!'
    • In the same mission, when trying to bring down the power source for the Dreadnaught's main weapon:
    Ghost: That energy powers the weapon. Cayde, what do we do?
    Cayde: Okay, hold on. Eris is going on about "breaking the necrotic..." Ah, just shoot it!
  • Cayde's and Holliday's exchange when she's installing the stealth tech. Cayde sarcastically confesses his plan to infiltrate the dreadnought for the flight log. Holliday replies she'll just log it as a test flight instead to which Cayde gives a 'good point' nod to.
    • Cayde's expressions just help sell the scene even more, especially when you consider how Exo faces are kinda... incomplete compared to human faces. And yet you can just see Cayde making the most faux-innocent expression as the cutscene ends.
    • Oh, and the ship they're using? It's Eris Morn's. Said ship gets obliterated by Oryx's super weapon and at the end of the mission, he realizes that he's gonna have to break the news to Eris.
      • Even funnier, during said scene, when the stealth drive breaks down and Oryx fires his weapon, you and your Ghost freak out causing Cayde to angrily shout over the radio "Did you break my stealth drive!?"
      • When the stealth drive finally breaks down:
        Ghost: (Whispering) Do you think they can see us?
        (The Dreadnaught's weapon powers up)
        Ghost: I THINK THEY CAN SEE US!
  • Apparently, Cayde-6 has a problem with misplacing his Sparrow.
  • Ghost's commentary as you go into Rasputin's bunker to take out S.A.B.E.R.-2, talking about how envious he is. Rasputin's got this awesome setup with orbiting death satellites and massive underground bunkers... and Ghost has to live in your backpack. It gets funnier during the end dialogue when Ghost speculates that the S.A.B.E.R.-2 was more powerful by the mere fact it was just a large shank. Ghost surmises that perhaps he can get more powerful as well if he himself got bigger as well. Zavala's reaction is just as priceless.
    Ghost: Oooh, okay, wow. He is really pretty mad at us, I think he- yes. Yes, he just threatened us with orbital death from above. Let's get moving.
  • From one of the final storyline quests in The Taken King, Fear's Embrace:
    Ghost: This room is crawling with Blight ... and I'm detecting poison gas in the vents. Oh, and the Cabal flame jets are primed to fire. So yes ... you got this, you.
  • Oryx has a basketball court. No, really.
  • Among the various new emotes that Destiny got when Tess came back, one of them is the FREAKING CARLTON DANCE.
    • There are even more, including the iconic dance from "Hotline Bling", a Praise the Sun gesture, and even Shia LeBouf's motivational speech.
  • If you jump onto Cayde's map sitting in front of him in the Tower, he just looks up and gives you a violent Death Glare until you get off. If you combine it with the dance emote, then you get the image of a grown man or woman dancing on Cayde's desk while he looks on in disappointment.
  • Halloween 2015 introduces the Festival of the Lost, which includes several cosmetic masks of bosses, characters, and items; and sends you on a Quest to, of all things, collect candy from the inhabitants of the Tower. Seriously. The thought of an entire population of superhuman warriors, with reality-bending powers whose combined efforts can slay gods and timespace anomalies alike, collecting candy from their superiors is just too funny to not laugh at!
    • Oh, but it gets better! Even some of the Tower inhabitants are wearing masks. Including the Speaker and Lord Shaxx!
    • Eris in general during the event. She's such a partypooper about it that goes right back to being funny! And what does Eris give you when you're collecting candy? Raisins.
      "Eris' Gift": What? Why...?
      Eris Morn: "I am bidden to give you dried fruit candies."
      Eris Morn: "Candy is nothing, but lies."
      Eris Morn: "Are you wearing a mask? I can't tell. I'm blind."
      Eris Morn: "Why are you all smiling?"
      Eris Morn: "Candy will not save you!"
      Eris Morn: "It is a time for mourning and loss... and yet people are smiling. And people say I'm disturbing."
      Eris Morn: "'Festival of the Lost'... I suppose the Hive are not the only ones who celebrate death."
    • But wait, it gets better still! Eva sends you on several quests to do a number of ridiculous things while wearing masks, such as looting engrams as the Cryptarch, earn sword kills in PvP as Crota, and throw yourself off the tower as Atheon.
    • None of the Vanguard are really feeling the spirit of the Festival, except Cayde. How does he celebrate? By wearing an Eris mask.
    • Year 3 tops all of this off by turning Eris' Halloween Gift (for those who kept it) by turning them into Ascendant Raisins. And unlike Eris' previous gift, these actually have a purpose: in a Scavenger Hunt mini-quest.
      "Eris' Gift": Glowing, bubbling, boiling.
      • Come to the end of the quest and you get another reward from Eris. A stalk of Celery. Anybody got some peanut butter? Luckily, you also get a Shader from it.
        "Eris' Other Gift": It's slightly wilted.
    • There's a new guest, or rather, victim of the festivities: a janitorial frame near the central kiosk, cleaning... without a broom. The poor Frame is just standing there, making broom cleaning motions, while complaining about her missing broom.
      "Reporting broom stolen, Broom stolen!"
      "Is theft from a frame a crime?"
      "it had perfectly spaced bristles and a handle that fit me, I miss it.""
      "Do you have my broom?"
      "Whooo am I, who am I?"
      "What is the purpose of my existence?"
      "Life is meaningless."
      "Death, What dreams may come?"
      "Paper scraps go by and no one picks them up."
      "I have lost a part of me."
      "You have candy, I have nothing."
      "What does the broom say? Broom Broom."
      "All gone."
      "Where is it? Where is it?!"
      "To dust, to dust, to dust."
      "Woe is me!"
      "They celebrate lost souls, but what about lost things?"
      "Who is the thief? Who is the thief?!"
      "Am I unwanted?"
      "Is change of occupation an option this late in the software cycle possible?"
    • Even better! You can discover its lost broom on some shelves in the bar, take it, and use it as a Sparrow during the Event! All that's missing is a "Witch's Laugh" horn.
    • The masks and items are also pretty humorous as well. Some descriptions include:
      Any mask you've previously obtained: "Dismantles into 3 Silver Dust."
      Deviled Ghost: "For Ghosts who taste better with a sprinkle of paprika."
    • One of the new Ghost Shells is the Ghost wearing a Bedsheet Ghost costume. The name of the shell? Ghost Ghost!
    • The fact that the SIVA Mask is actually the cardboard model of a giant SIVA genrator (i.e those pyramid-shaped things that cover the heads of Splicer Captains Vosik and Kovik) that encapsulates your head is something worth mentioning on its own.
    • The space wreckage surrounding the Festival-decorated Vestian Outpost will sometimes line up into the shape of Oryx's head. Nice Easter Egg!
  • In the Grimoire cards for the Exotic class weapons, the Gunsmith has some interesting conversations with Master Rahool, Ikora, and Cayde-6. Ikora and Banshee's conversation about Tlaloc isn't very amusing, but his conversation with the Tower Cryptarch ends with him just walking off. But the real gem is in Ace of Spade's card.
    Cayde-6: "Heeeeeeey there, Banshee!"
    Banshee-44: "Whaddya want, Cayde?"
    Cayde-6: "Just checking in on that thing I asked you to do."
    Banshee-44: “I told you, my smuggling days are over—”
    Cayde-6: "No no shhh not that!"
  • During the mission to hunt down Malok before he can take over Oryx's place as the Taken King, Ghost has this line of pure snark at Variks:
    Ghost: Wait, you want him alive? What happened to kill them baaaaaack?
  • In the lead-up to the Rise of Iron expansion, players received odd (but positive) status effects that were "transmitted" from other Guardians. Bungie created a website (Owl Sector) which documented the reactions of the Vanguard and other groups as reports of these "infections" spread. Some of these logs included commentary on player behavior.
    SHU: They're Guardians, Quist. Means the Light has cooked their brains. Haven't you seen them dancing in the Plaza, for no reason, with no music at all? We'll take what we can get.
    • As snarker extraordinare, of course Cayde-6 gets in on it.
      ZAV: I suppose we should have known better than to tell Guardians to stand still.
      CY6: It's not their strong suit. They’re not good at staying off my table, either. Stinkers.
    • Disturbing as the connotations are with the experiments, the later logs of Brilliance 3.2 take hilarious turn as Patient B, originally comatose, suddenly woke up breaking out into song and dance numbers non-stop, from improvised songs about his life to half of the pop hits in the past century.
      "He's owned two dogs and six cats and I know all their names."
    • Presented without context, courtesy of Commander Zavala:
      ZAV: I did not purr. Purring is not something I do.
  • The Ghost Fragment that can be recovered from the Crucible map Anomaly:
    [u.1:01] A Titan once tried to punch the Anomaly until it opened.
    [u.2:01] What happened?
    [u.1:02] Nothing. But one day later—to the second—a WarSat fell on her head. Boom. Direct hit. B-line from low orbit to her skull. Coincidence? Maybe.
    [u.2:02] She okay?
    [u.1:03] Yeah. But she never punched that Anomaly again.
  • During the last week of The Dawning, guardians were given paper fortunes, which normally has something written positive on it. On the off case, you can get any of these:
    • Master Rahool will surprise you, then disappoint you.
    • Shaxx will inevitably shout at you.
    • You will demolish your sparrow at high speeds.
    • You forget to thank your ghost... Again... Sheesh.
    • Help my name is Cayde and I'm stuck writing fortunes in the tower.
  • While the news that Dredgen Yor has acolytes who idolize Thorn and kill other Guardians with it might belong on the Nightmare Fuel page, it becomes hilarious if you read it as Bungie mocking how commonplace Thorn was in Year One.
  • Cayde's always been known for his unprofessional demeanor, but his new Grimoire Card practically puts him into the Cloud Cuckoo Lander category.
    • Midway through his search (focusing on himself) Cayde comes across a passing mention of Centaur Planetoid 7066 Nessus re-entering the system. He immediately starts wondering if the system was invaded by horse-people.
    • Cayde starts a Wiki Walk for Banshee-44's real name and it ends with him accidentally setting a giant alien eyeball as his terminal background, followed up by searching for how much it'll cost to replace a destroyed terminal.
    • Also, the fact that Zavala is apparently handing out endorsements.
    • Let the words "Googly-Eyed Traveler Background" sink in there, and try not to laugh.
  • Lord Shaxx lost a bet. And Cayde made him pay up by having him coaching dodgeball.
    • Shaxx isn't just an jerk to Guardians who are losing in the Crucible. He'll be just a ruthless and mean to little kids who lose a game of dodgeball.
  • "Last Call", the teaser for Destiny 2 is nothing, but pure Bathos as our favorite Exo Hunter, Cayde-6, is at a bar as he recounts how he kicked some Cabal ass when they breached the Vanguard war room... while they're still in the middle of fighting off a full-scale invasion.
    • The teaser very casually drops a pretty perspective changing revelation: Exo. Can. Eat. Food.
    • And Cayde's telling this story to none other than the viewer, right? Nah. He's talking to a cleaning Frame.
      Cayde-6: "Guess you had t' be there."
    • The room they're in got shot to pieces and the robot is still cleaning...
  • "Rally the Troops" trailer has Cayde-6 stumbling his way through a Rousing Speech that is failing to inspire any of his Guardians, made even funnier when juxtaposed against Zavala's speech. Some have likened it to the difference between getting a rallying speech between Captain America and Deadpool. However, Cayde manages to salvage his by saying the one thing that would inspire all Guardians in and out of universe.
    Cayde-6: Also! There will be a ton of loot! (Uproarious cheering)
    • When detailing about the battle, Cayde-6 has this to say:
    Cayde-6: They kept coming so I kept firing. Not gonna lie, I was magnificent.
    • Cayde-6 revealing the name of the Cabal leader.
    Zavala: Today we know our enemy. His name is...
    Cayde-6: Gary! Or...Gil. Glen. Is it...I don't know. It's something with a "G"!
    • Another reason that Cayde wants the Cabal gone: the Cabal broke his stuff.
    Cayde-6: So...everything is gone. Your stuff, my stuff, but most importantly, MY STUFF.
    • Zavala asks for everyone to join him in battle. Cayde is bit more... coercive.
    Cayde-6: If I don't see you out there- (half-draws his knife) -I'll kill you myself.
    (random Guardian's eyes widen in fear)
    • And then there's Cayde-6's attempt at trying to ease the fears of some Guardians with:
    Cayde-6: Worst case scenario: you die. But who knows, maybe you won't.
    • At the end of Cayde-6's speech, Ikora only has this to say:
    Ikora Rey: (in an extremely dry tone) That... That was inspiring.

Community-created

  • A new guardian asks about the fabled loot cave in Skywatch. Hilarity Ensues.
  • On the weekend of August 14, 2015, word got out that Xur was selling Gjallarhorn. (An incredibly rare and powerful rocket launcher, considered by many to be the most powerful Year 1 Weapon. This was also the first time Xur sold the weapon since Week 2.) The community went nuts, with the Destiny subreddit going particularly insane.
    • To summarize:
    1) Finally, with this in widespread use strikes and raids with pickup groups will be way easier!
    2) Wait, isn't there a new balance patch coming in the next week or two?
    3) Oh, Crap!, they're gonna nerf the shit out of this aren't they?
    • When Bungie announces the return of Gjallarhorn in Rise of Iron expansion, Twitch livesteam chat exploded with several variations of "GALLY!!".
  • A player attempts to make sense of the Fallen language. Some of these translations can induce some chuckles.
    Skolas: Come out already... jeez.
    Skolas: Oh, soon, your death's gonna hurt.
    Skolas: The thief of lightnote  has no bullets. I gift bullets. (Fires Shrapnel Launcher at player)
    Skolas: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR
  • The puddle in the Tower has not gone unnoticed...
  • A Japanese trailer for the Taken King. Oh, by the Traveler, is it hammy.
  • Year 2's first week of Iron Banner opens to "Petra Venj" kills "Mara Sov." Much grief has been had.
  • Oryx is not a fan of Tom Jones.
  • These two guys know exactly how everyone feels when there's an AFKer in a matchmade strike.
  • Eris's reward to you during the 2015 Halloween event is made even funnier when her voice actress, Morla Gorrondona, tweeted about what she plans to give to trick or treaters.
    Morla: Decided though trick or treaters will get awesome candy at my house - there will also be ... raisins
    Bungie's retweet: What? Why...?
  • When rounding up a review for the Hard Light exotic auto rifle, Patrick Casey from Planet Destiny got distracted and decided it'd be fun to show off the weapon's greatest asset.
  • Patrick Casey of Planet Destiny gives his succinct opinions on The First Curse, Bolt-Caster, Jade Rabbit, and Sleeper Simulant.
  • The Sparrow Racing League Racing Minigame that was made at the end of December 2015. Guardians taking their Sparrows and riding around tracks on Mars and Venus, working through bounties and quests mostly given by Amanda Halliday. But this has also led to the newest and most hilarious Player Tics in the game...
    • Sparrows are now equipped with horns. But not just normal horns—old car horns, clown-car horns, fog horns, cadences, even ducks quacking... one player honking their horn at the start of the race will inevitably lead to every other player honking their horns.
    • Once the race ends, it still takes a good 30 seconds for the game to process the results and wait for everyone to cross before going to the results screen. Cue more players driving around after the finish line, honking their horns and/or jumping off their sparrows, which instantly blows up the sparrow and kills the Guardian. And/or they'll drive backwards to the finish line... only to immediately explode.
  • SRL returns for December 2016, with more tracks, more emotes, and more of the usual chicanery from Guardians racing their Sparrows throughout hostile territory. Your Ghost is more inclined to get in on it, too...
    Ghost: Cabal on the track...or as I like to call 'em, speed bumps
    • In the prior year, Amanda would call out the activity's name, and Ghost would warn you of the enemies on the track during the intro. Thanks to a timing error in the code, this now takes place at the start of the race. Which can lead to Ghost warning you of dangers you just encountered.
      Ghost: (after running one over) I'm picking up Vex signals on the track.
      Anonymous Titan: (exasperated) I'm picking up Vex body parts out of my Sparrow's grill. Get with the program, Ghost!
  • What did the back of Cra'adug's hand say to the Guardian's face? MEGATON PUNCH!!!!
  • Community icon Datto has become (in)famous for doing challenges by using specific handicaps during raids, and his clan, Math Class, is largely responsible for Crota's Memetic Loser status. It's hard to tell what their more infamous challenge is: the Eris Morn challenge (aka doing Crota's End blindfolded) or the No Gun challenge.
  • Another Community icon, Mr. Fruit and his friends, Blue Westlo and Rhabby_V, also known as "The Dream Team", have done many different challenges in the game's PvP mode.
  • On August 12, 2016; Deej and Cozmo of Bungie challenged the Destiny subreddit to upvote a post 7777 times in celebration of Gjallarhorn Day* . The community succeeded, and so they posted this video in celebration.
    Cozmo: "Hey Deej, bring a weapon? I brought a weapon! *brandishes Gjallarhorn*"
    Deej: "Indeed, I did bring a weapon! *brandishes Iron Battleaxe*"
    *Cozmo silently reacts*
  • In a university, far far away, Lord Saladin gets his salad on. (Volume Warning, you better turn it down first.)
  • Guardians vs. Carebears... don't believe me? Take a look

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