Funny / Danny Phantom

  • In Technus' debut episode, this exchange.
    Sam: (Clearly stalling) I'm Sam, but I don't believe I caught your name. Perhaps you should scream it really loud and shout out your motive.
    Technus: (fairly cordial) Hello. (Theatrically) I AM TECHNUS! MASTER OF ALL THINGS MECHANICAL!
  • In ''Secret Weapons", Danny's computer is not even safe from Jazz's snooping...
    [Jazz walks in the janitor closet holding her laptop with Danny's personal ghost files on it.]
    Danny: Where did you get this?!
    Jazz: From your computer.
    Danny: You hacked into my personal ghost files?! And how did you get the password?!
    Sam, Tucker, and Jazz: It's Paulina Fenton.
  • This conversation from "Public Enemies":
    Prisoner: You'll never take me alive, coppers!
    Bullet: [Deadpan.] You're a ghost.
    Prisoner: Well, you'll still never take me!
    • This scene:
      Jack: Fear not, young ones, we're here to make sure this school is prepared for any ghost emergencies.
      Maddie: [On megaphone.] You must be cautious, at any time one of these ectoplasmic malefactors - [Spots Danny in the crowd.] HI, SWEETIE! [Danny ducks down and blushes.] - could appear out of nowhere.
      Danny: [To Sam & Tucker.] Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us?
      Sam: Time to sit in the back where nobody can notice us.
      • And finally, the scene where Maddie realizes that Jack forgot to charge the bazooka.
        Maddie: [To Danny, with Fenton Bazooka to his head, about to shoot.] By the authority invested in me by the city of Amity Park, I sentence you back from once you came!
        Danny: Oh man, I have got to start paying more attention in these fights.
        Maddie: [Finds note on Fenton Bazooka, reads it.] "Honey, forgot to fully charge Fenton Bazooka. - Jack. P.S.: Can I have a cookie?"
        Danny: With that, I bid you a fond farewell. [Flies away.]
        Maddie: [Waves fist.] You haven't seen the last of me!
        Danny: [Out of earshot.] Duh, I'll see you at dinner.
  • Toilet Humor anyone?
    Sam: Danny, use your ghost ray! You can fire a ghost ray out of your hand!
    Danny: [Concentrating.] Ghost ray, ghost ray...! [Butt begins to glow green.] Well, that can't be right! But it'll have to do! [Fires ghost ray out of butt.]
    • Later in the same episode:
      Tucker: Oh, man, that was close. [Danny bends over to pick up the thermos. Tucker is behind Danny, unfortunetly.] Watch where you're pointing that thing!
  • Johnny 13 calling Jack "Pops" in the episode 13.
    • The best part was when he barricades Jack and Maddie in their room:
      Johnny: Sorry Pops, I didn't want you cramping my style.
      Jack: Stop calling me Pops!
      [Jack punches a large fist shaped dent in the door while Johnny has a goofy expression on his face.]
  • If anything, Super Danny in one episode of his intended mockery of the superhero genre. Nothing is more amusing than him shouting out seriously (and dramatically): "You Felonious Fiend!"
    • The best bit ever uttered by Super Danny:
      "Curse this infernal messy room! This looks like a job for the VACUUM CLEANER!"
  • Danny: You have now stooped to my level. Thank you for shopping Fenton Mart.
  • The following exchange from "Parental Bonding":
    Jazz: By the way, Danny, just so you know, I'm onto your little secret.
    Danny: What?! What secret?
    Jazz: The clumsiness, the nervousness, I can't believe I didn't figure it out before. You have a girlfriend!
    Danny: It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! *Beat* I mean, she's not my girlfriend. She's just going to the dance with me.
    Jack: That's great. I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts!
    Jazz: You better let her know your family's insane now, Danny. If you marry her and she finds out later, that's entrapment.
  • This moment from Masters of all Time:
    [Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne.]
    Maddie: We have an outbreak of ecto-acne. And there's only one place on earth that knows how to treat ecto-acne!
    Danny: [Hopefully.] Please say hospital, please say hospital, please say hospital...!
    [Scene shifts to Fenton Works in quarantine.]
    Danny: [Disappointed/annoyed.] Why didn't she just say hospital?
    • Another crowner:
    Maddie: [Nervously.] That's my...carpet foamer! It eliminates stains, not ghosts! [Bats her eyelashes at Vlad.] Right, sweetie?
    Vlad: Maddie, can you ever forgive for doubting you? [Maddie and Vlad begin to kiss.]
    Danny: [Cringing in disgust.] I thought my parents were embarrassing. This is SO much worse!
  • At the start of the episode, Danny's parents show up at the Nasty Burger wearing dorky 80's clothes for "80's Night", and everyone starts laughing at them. Then they head over to Danny to give him his wallet that he left at the house.
    Danny: Uh, thanks.
    Jack: Don't mention it. We love ya, man!
    [Maddie gives Danny a death hug, which is strangling him.]
  • From Bitter Reunions:
    Jack: Danny, meet Harriet Chin, she's a big time journalist for the Milwaukee Journal now, but back in our college days, she was just Harrie... Harrie Chin! Haha-Get it?!
    Maddie: *sighs* I'm really sorry, Harriet.
    Harriet: Sweetie, you married him... you should be.
    • Or this...
      Jack: Hey, that's my song! Come on, let's Pogo! *grabs Maddie and drags her off dancing horribly, knocking people down on the dance floor*
      Harriet: What took so long?
      • And especially this!
      *Skulker holds a green glowing arm blade up to Danny's throat.*
      Danny: *nervous laughter* Uh, the glowing blade is new.
      Skulker: You like it? I've had some upgrades!
  • "Hey everyone, over here! We're Danny Fenton and Sam Manson! We cut school and we're proud of it!"
  • Jack seeing Jazz in a HAZMAT suit.
    Jack: [Sees Jazz in her mom's spare Hazmat suit.] Jazz? Why, look at you. You're the spitting image of your mother. I always knew this day would come. That why, years ago, I had this made! [Pulls out a hazmat suit identical to his own.]
    Jazz: [Sarcastically.] Nice.
    Jack: Uh... Sorry about the size. I always thought you'd be swimming in my end of the gene pool. The end filled with ranch dressing, melted cheese and fudge. LOTS of fudge.
  • Vlad's Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking list for why he plans to "finish off Danny Phantom once and for all" in the Grand Finale: "Taking my map, destroying my satellite, mocking my mental health..."
  • This exchange in "Secret Weapons":
    Jazz: You're toast!
    Danny: Oh, yeah? You and what toaster! *gets punched in the face*
  • Danny gets two in "Lucky In Love," after Shadow throws a lightning rod into a car, impaling the roof:
    Danny: Optional sunroof. Nice.
  • In addition to when he and Johnny are pretending to fight to fool Kitty, and Danny delivers a particularly painful punch to Johnny's nose.
    Johnny: I thought this was supposed to be a pretend fight!
    Danny: Then pretend that didn't hurt! *punches him again*
  • Jack's belief in Santa Claus during the Christmas Episode had him building an entire landing point decorated with related holiday goodies on top of the Fenton Opt Center with a glaring arrow sign that reads, "This Way, Santa" just for Santa's sleigh.
    • That episode's rhyming pattern made for more than a few funny lines, this one probably standing above them all:
    Danny: So I snuck out, and got a few of your favorites. And here, Mom, for you.
    Jack: Mmm mmm mmm mmm...avorites!
    • How Danny breaks the author's curse on him...with an orange.
    "And Danny thought quickly and pulled out an orange, and threw it at Walker who- aw crud, nothing rhymes with orange!"
    • Made funnier by the fact that the Ghost Writer didn't know that there is actually a word that rhymes with orange: the little-known word sporange, which is used to describe the spores on plants.
  • This little ditty from "Doctor's Disorders":
    Jack: "Why should we trust you?
    Bert Rand: "Because I'm with the government and I can audit your taxes if you don't."
    Jack: "... We trust you."
  • In "Reign Storm", when the Ecto-Skeleton is draining Jack:
    Vlad: Nope. Sorry. That's all you.
  • Kindred Spirits proved even Vlad's holograms - well, at least the Maddie ones - didn't like him, in another CMOF:
    Holographic Maddie: Going critical... Losing coherence... And I never loved you. I love the Jack program.
    Holographic Jack: [slides onscreen and puts an arm around the holographic Maddie. He waves.] Vladdy!
    [They kiss.]
    • Speaking of Vlad's holograms, in the Grand Finale, two copies of holo-Maddie have a cat fight over who gets to inform Vlad of some good news, complete with computer based insults at each other. Sadly, we don't get to see the whole thing.
  • This tid bit:
    Mrs. Testlaff: Fenton! Gray! Congratulations, you two stragglers are paired up for a special week-long health sciences project. I now pronounce you man, wife, and child. [Mrs. Testlaff hands Danny the flour sack.]
    Danny: I am so not kissing the bride!
    Valerie: What makes you think you can?
    • Skulker: [Hunting Danny and Valerie.] Ah, yes. I can smell them. Sweat, fear- [Sniffs the air again.] -and beans. One of them must've had a burrito.
  • In "What You Want,":
    Tucker: You just had to save the day, didn't you?
    Danny: Um, yeah, because a car smashing into the 28th floor of anything is BAD!!!
    • And then the Surfer Dude calling Danny and Tucker "hallucinations".
  • What, no love for "Dude, you are one seriously-crazed-up fruit loop"?
    • Or its response?
      Vlad: "A fruit loop would not have been able to make his first million on a series of invisible burglaries. A fruit loop would never have thought to overshadow enough millionaires to become the richest man on the planet. I. AM. NOT. A. FRUIT. LOOP!"
  • After the Ghostwriter is defeated (because he couldn't find a word rhyming with orange), the following exchange happens:
    Walker: [holding an orange] Orange?
    Ghostwriter: Get that thing away from me!
  • Paulina's line in "Memory Blank":
    Paulina: She surrendered her individuality for a boy, I'm so proud of her!
    • The photo montage when Danny gets his memory back. Dynamic music is playing during all the photos of Danny fighting ghosts. Then it suddenly changes to a picture using intangibility to sneak in and out of the girls locker room complete with cheery music. It was even funnier the second time the photo was flashed.
    • This moment is the page image for Power Perversion Potential.
  • This little bit, courtesy of Vlad Plasmius and Danny Phantom, from "Torrent Of Terror"-
    Vlad: Uh, no. I was just going to introduce you to a friend of mine. Danny, this is Vortex. Vortex, Danny. Well, gotta fly...Ta! (Flies off).
    Danny: (Deadpan) My hero...
    • "GIMMIE A "V"! (Beat) Someone's going to give me a "V" or there's gonna be trouble..."
    • And earlier in the episode, we get this bit of dialogue between Vlad and Vortex:
      Vortex: Did people tell Piccasso to stop painting the Mona Lisa?
      Vlad: That was Da Vinci, you dolt.
      Vortex: Whatever!
    • Also, throughout the episode, Danny zapping Vlad with lightning, cyclones, and other weather whenever he gets angry.
      • This:
      Tucker: Look on the bright side, Danny; until we get back, he's going to have to cater to your every whim and desire.
      Sam: Yeah, he wouldn't want to make you angry.
      (The two smirk evilly at at Vlad, who looks back slightly worried)
      Danny: *evil grin* This pleases me.
  • "Secret Weapons" proves Jazz isn't the only one with a victory dance when Maddie shakes her thang after winning against Jack on checkers.
    Maddie: Nobody likes a sore loser, Jackie!
  • Box Lunch's debut...
    Box Lunch: I am Box Lunch! Daughter of the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady!
    Danny: Um, ewww!
  • "Boxed Up Fury" has a great one:
    Jazz: Eat my fire, dragonbreath! [shoots Fenton Bazooka]
    Maddie: Ten heads, meet nine tails! [whips out the Jack o' Nine Tails]
    Jack: I DON'T HAVE A CLEVER QUIP! [shoots gun]
  • More or less everything Poindexter said in "Splitting Images" was a CMoF. One of my favorites was when he responded to Sam's question (While in Danny's body) about where Poindexter went with "Oh, that square? He flew the coop, perrr-manent like." What makes this even funnier are his hand gestures and the looks on Tucker and Sam's faces.
  • This bit from "Maternal Instincts"....
    Danny: Bye, Vlad! And as a lonely single man in your 40's, might I suggest internet dating... or a cat!
    Vlad: Mark my words Maddie, no one says no to Vlad Masters. You will rue the day that you spurred my affection...AND. I. WILL. NOT. GET. A. CAT!
    • Bonus points for him actually getting a cat in season three!
    • Another one from that episode is Maddie running through the house trying to find a phone while Danny fights Vlad, opening doors to find cars, ATVs, and a helicopter and not noticing them because she's so busy. After she comes back in to where Danny and Vlad are, she's in the middle of talking to him when she finally realizes it.
    Maddie: Helicopter, but no phone. And Danny thinks I'M the nut...
  • This bit from Reign Storm.
    Valerie's Dad: (walks in on Danny in ghost mode and Valerie in her hunting costume arguing with each other) What is going on here?
    (Both stare at him)
    Valerie: (turns and points at Danny) You're not the boss of me!
    Danny: (Nonchalantly rips off Valerie's mask, exposing her identity; Valerie screams in surprise) No, but he is!
    Valerie's Dad: Valerie?!
    Valerie: (screams, then turns to Danny) You are so dead! (lunges at him but is stopped by her father).
    Valerie's Dad: You've been hunting ghosts? Are you okay?
    Valerie: I...I'm fine.
    Valerie's Dad: (Puts her down) THEN YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!
    • There's also this scene towards the end:
      Reporter: Danny Phantom has gone from "villain" to "hero" in the eyes of many in our town.
      Valerie: That depends on who you're asking.
      Valerie's Dad: (off-screen) Valerie! Was that the ecto-gun?
      Valerie: (hiding it behind her back) No!
  • The Percussive Prevention bit. Maddie knocks Jack down, who gets stopped by Jazz, and so on and so forth...
    Danny: I was gonna hit every one with an energy blast, but this is much more efficient.
  • How about this little gem?
    Paulina: You did not just call me shallow, did you?
    Sam: If you mean, do I think I could stand in a puddle full of you and not get my feet wet, then, yeah.
  • The episode "Doctor's Disorders". After Danny gets captured, Tucker mulls over going in after him.
    Tucker: Spooky hospital, ghosts guarding the joint, still, no sign that Danny's in any real danger yet.
    Danny: [from inside the hospital] Let me go!
    Tucker: Still, technically not a cry for help.
    Danny: HELP!
    Tucker: Well, not a cry for me.
    Danny: TUCKER!
    Tucker: [realizing he has to go in to save Danny] Aw, dang.
    • And, of course, after that:
      (Tucker kicks in vent, then drops into room)
      Tucker: Hello, models! ...I mean, uh, Danny! You're okay!
      Danny: (Strapped to an Operating Table) Tucker! You broke into the hospital!
      Danny: Wait...You broke into a hospital?
      Tucker: Please stop saying hospital. Because I will run, and leave you here to perish.
    • When Danny (or rather, his dad's snot rag) causes Spectra's new body to turn into an overweight, fudge craving mucus monster, Danny offers this line.
    Danny: There's a "you blew it" pun in there somewhere, but...I'd rather not.
    • Some fighting later, this exchange happens.
      Spectra: Let's boogie!
      Danny: See? That's the kind of pun I was avoiding with the whole "blew it" comment.
  • "Inviso-Bill".
  • The Accidental Hug in "One of a Kind."
    • And the fact that it was used again in "Memory Blank".
  • Danny and Sam flying into a giant cutout of Ember whilst distracted by one another in "Fanning The Flames" ("Flying's... nice. (SPLAT!) Falling stinks!"), and earlier Lancer's over-the-top excalmation:
    Mr. Lancer: LORD OF THE FLIES! They're slipping right through my hands!
  • This exchange between Tucker and the Fright Knight in "Fright Night":
    Tucker: Yeah, yeah, very scary. The fake horse is pretty neat though. What's it made out of, flaming bedsheets?
    Fright Knight: Flaming bedsheets of DEATH!
  • Danny and Co.'s reaction to the town naming his super hero identity as "Inviso-Bill".
    Danny: Guys, we have a problem.
    Sam: I'll say. "Inviso-Bill"?
    Tucker: Yeah, need a publicist.
    — Or later this...
    Paulina: You're that one who saved me...Inviso-Bill right?
    Danny: Ugh...I need a publicist.
    • Or when Kitty was posessing Paulina, blackmailing Danny...
    Kitty (in Paulina): Maybe...(in Paulina's voice) or maybe Paulina can let it slip that Danny Fenton is really the ghost boy? (smirk)
    Danny: Uh...That's "Inviso-Bill".
  • Between Dash and Danny, when Danny's trying to rally the students against a ghost invasion:
    Dash: Why should we listen to you, Fen-turd?
    Danny: You're right, Dash. Let's ask the other kid who comes from a family of ghost hunters and knows how to use all their equipment. (Beat) Yeah, that's what I thought. Now who's with me?
  • Danny and Tucker fall asleep and end up snuggled together. They wake up that way, scream, and yank their arms back.
  • When Sam and Tucker spy on the Guys in White in "Livin' Large", they end up getting found out and handcuffed to a pole. This leads to one of the only funny lines of Sam's that actually sticks in this troper's mind: "You can't do this to us! I know the law! I read a graphic novel version of the Constitution!"
    • Likewise in that episode, the Guys in White continually trying and failing to use the Fenton Works technology.
  • Danny venting at Jazz's incompetent attempts to help him fight ghosts is hilarious.
    Jazz: That was good work tonight, Danny. We caught three ghosts.
    Danny: No, we caught one ghost three times, all of them ME!
  • "I ask you again...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH JUMPSUITS?!"
  • "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" *squish
  • In "Frightmare", when Danny possesses Dash in Sam's dream, declares Dash to be Danny Phantom, and then Goes Ghost inside of Dash in order to wake Sam up.
  • "Change the Ecto-Filtrator? OH, FUDGE BUCKETS!" *BOOM!*
  • In one episode, Danny and his friends are doing a checklist on where their ghost enemies are currently located. They get to the Box Ghost and say, "Who cares?"
    Box Ghost: (Popping out of Fenton Portal) Hey, I have feelings too, you know!
  • The Fake-Out Make-Out scene in "Shades of Gray" becomes even funnier when you notice Danny trying to tap out of the kiss.
    • The ensuing dialogue, when Danny has Post-Kiss Catatonia:
      Sam: Danny? Danny? You...didn't think that was a real kiss. Did you?
      Danny: NO!...Why? Did you?
  • In "Fanning the Flames", Jack wanted to lock Danny and Jazz away in the Fenton Stockades (iron maidens), but Maddie does not want that kind of punishment. As he insisted, she locks him in instead. Then Jack yells, referring to Danny and Jazz, "I meant them!"
    • A small one is that at one point in the episode, Danny keeps staring at Sam (as a result of Ember's powers making him fall madly in love with Sam) which makes her uncomfortable, and asks him to stare at something other than her...and he starts staring at a picture of her.
  • In "Boxed-Up Fury", after Pandora's Box has been reclaimed but the evil is still loose, Pandora explains what it was actually for and that cleaning up was the easy part.
    Pandora: I knew that spew switch was going to come back to haunt me.
  • When Danny defeats Pariah it's usually considered fridge horror for putting him in backwards but for this troper it's amusing, he put him in facing the Dark Side.
  • In "Life Lessons," Danny insisting Valerie use the term "Ghost Zone," not "Ghost World," is hilarious for those who know that term is already taken twice over.
  • Figuring out the villain of the episode "Pirate Radio."
    Sam: (looking at cruise brochure) 'M. Bursback.' Ember's back. That's not a clue, that's a billboard!
    Tucker: We really have to start paying attention to these things.
  • This exchange:
    Technus: Are you mad, child? Picking a fight with me in my upgraded form?!
    Danny (Genuinely incredulous) You upgraded to a mullet?
  • This bit between Danny and Technus in "Attack of the Killer Garage Sale":
    Danny: Get back, you hunk of my dad's junk!
    Technus: Could mere junk do this?
    (takes out a TV remote, turning Danny into a cowboy, a woman in a dress and a Spock expy)
    Danny: Give me that! (takes the remote and turns himself back to normal)
  • From "Girls Night Out":
    Danny: What do you want, Skulker?
    Skulker: My girlfriend says I'm a lousy hunter. [points his gun] Hanging your pelt on my wall will change her mind.
    Danny: [shocked] Wow.
    Skulker: Frightened now?
    Danny: No. I can't believe you have a girlfriend.
    Skulker: Now that just plain hurts.
  • This part from "Fright Night", after Lancer gets sent away to another dimension by the Fright Knight:
    Danny: What did you do to him?!
    Fright Knight: (ominously) I sent him to where all who feel the sting of my blade are sent: a dimension where his worst fears come to life.
    Danny: YES! This contest is so mine!
    Danny: Uh... I mean, bring him back, you fiend!