Funny / Danny Phantom

Way to ruin the moment, Tucker.

The episodes are listed in order:

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In General

• Mr. Lancer’s book title exclamations.

Season 1

"Mystery Meat"

• Sam changes the cafeteria menu to grass on bread, and mud. Everyone is not pleased.
  • Especially Tucker.
    Tucker: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
• Dash complaining to Danny that he was given three mud pies made with mud, from the ground. He forces Danny to eat it, when Danny suddenly detects a ghost nearby and needs to check it out. His solution?
  Danny: GARBAGE FIGHT! (Throws the mud pies at Dash's face)
• Tucker messing with Danny by saying he was out for four days when it was really a few hours.
• Tucker seemingly has a nose like a bloodhound when it comes to meat.
  Danny: How is it that I have the ghost powers and you're the weird kid?

"Parental Bonding"

• The following exchange:
  Jazz: By the way, Danny, just so you know, I'm onto your little secret.
  Danny: What?! What secret?
  Jazz: The clumsiness, the nervousness, I can't believe I didn't figure it out before. You have a girlfriend!
  Danny: It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! (Beat) I mean, she's not my girlfriend. She's just going to the dance with me.
  Jack: That's great. I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts!
  Jazz: You better let her know your family's insane now, Danny. If you marry her and she finds out later, that's entrapment.
• Just how many pants dropping jokes can you not laugh at in this episode?
  • Paulina's quip the first time: "A gentleman usually tips his hat, but I'll give you points for originality."
• This bit of banter:
  Paulina: You did not just call me shallow, did you?
  Sam: If you mean, do I think I could stand in a puddle full of you and not get my feet wet, then, yeah.
• Danny accidentally overshadows Dash and uses it to turn Paulina off from him.
• The bit when Danny discovers that Paulina is no longer the one wearing the dragon amulet.
  Danny: Take it easy, Paulina. You don't wanna hurt Sam! (Notices exactly who is in the ghost dragon's claws) Paulina? (Looks at the ghost dragon) SAM?!
  Ghost Dragon: SHALLOW GIRL!!!
  Danny: Yep, that's Sam.

"One Of A Kind"

• Danny and Tucker fall asleep and end up snuggled together. They wake up that way, scream, and yank their arms back.
  • After finding out Sam released the gorilla from captivity, Danny and Tucker threaten to tell everyone at school. Sam wordlessly shows them the picture of the two boys cuddling in their sleep, and they instead agree to keep it a secret.
• As Danny fights Skulker upstairs, Sam and Tucker try distract his parents and Jazz (who are having an interview with Connie from Genius Magazine) as loud crashing can be heard from upstairs.
  Jazz: You know, Connie, ghost hunting isn't the only thing my parents do. It's really a side interest. What they're really into is—
  (They all hear a loud crash from upstairs)
  Jack: GHOST! GHOST! GHOST!
  (Sam and Tuck rush downstairs)
  Maddie: Kids, get down! There's a ghost in the house!
  Tucker: Actually, there's two— (Sam elbows him) —much homework to be done for there to be a ghost here! Y'know what? I'll get some snacks.
  Sam: Yeah, Danny's upstairs. (They hear another loud crash.) Uh...lifting weights?
  Maddie: He doesn't have any exercise equipment up there!
  (A third CRASH from upstairs)
  Danny: (off-screen) MY COMPUTER! ...Oh, that's Jazz's.
  Sam: That's why he's using his computer!
• The Running Gag of Skulker getting bossed around by Tucker's PDA. After around the fifth time, he just has a look on his face that screams “Again?”
• Then there's Danny finding out that Sampson, one of two purple-back gorillas, is actually a Delilah.
  Danny: Aww, that's okay. We stopped the bad guy, saved the gorilla; (Sampson walks up behind him)...if that's all I got done, then that's o-(looks back, down at Sampson's crotch) OOH MY GOSH!! (look up at Sampson in complete astonishment)
  • Then there’s Mr. Lancer’s reaction after the fact.
    Mr. Lancer: Nobody at that zoo ever bothered to see if it was a boy or a girl?
    Danny: That’s weird, huh? Well, maybe they were respecting her privacy.

"Attack of the Killer Garage Sale"

• This exchange.
  Sam: (Clearly stalling) I'm Sam, but I don't believe I caught your name. Perhaps you should scream it really loud and shout out your motive.
  Technus: (fairly cordial) Hello. (Theatrically) I AM TECHNUS! MANIPULATOR OF MACHINES! LORD OF ALL GADGETRY! WIZARD OF INTEGRATED CIRCUITRY!
• This bit between Danny and Technus:
  Danny: Get back, you hunk of my dad's junk!
  Technus: Could mere junk do this?
  (takes out a TV remote, turning Danny into a cowboy, a woman in a dress, and a Spock expy)
  Danny: Gimme that! (takes the remote and turns himself back to normal)
• When Danny frenetically punches Technus. The face he makes and the music in the background are priceless.

"Splitting Images"

• Tucker's reaction to Danny wearing a dress and wig:
  Tucker: Whooo! Take it off! [Sam glares.] No, seriously. He should take it off. That's weird.
• While Poindexter is in Danny's body, he responds to Sam's question about where Poindexter went with "Oh, that square? He flew the coop, perrr-manent like." His hand gestures and the looks on Tucker and Sam's faces sell it.

"What You Want"

• Tucker attempting to save a guy whose car is possessed:
  Tucker: You just had to save the day, didn't you?
  Danny: Um, yeah, because a car smashing into the 28th floor of anything is BAD!!!
  • And then there's the possibly high Surfer Dude calling Danny and Tucker "hallucinations".
• After almost a whole episode of dealing with Desiree, Danny finally beats her by wishing her into the Fenton Thermos, knowing she'll have no choice but to obey.
  Danny: If I weren't a "C" student, I would've thought of that 5 days ago.
• Danny attempts an "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight against Tucker, but when words don’t work, Danny thinks of another way; by goading him into following him to Fenton Works so he can use the Fenton Dreamcatcher to separate Tucker’s ghost half. But first, he makes a quick stop to try to bring Tucker back to himself the only way a teenage boy can.
  Danny: The Girls’ Locker Room.
  (Danny hides in one of the lockers just before Tucker flies in)
  Tucker: (seriously) The Girls’ Locker Room… (cheerfully) So this is what it’s like in here!

"Bitter Reunions"

• When the Fentons arrive at Vlad's mansion it's revealed that he's a huge Green Bay Packers fan because his mansion is filled with memorabilia:
  Jazz: I don't understand. You have billions of dollars. Instead of buying all this stuff, why don't you just buy the team?
  Vlad: Because the Packers are owned by the city of Green Bay and they won't sell them to me! (pouts)
• This:
  Jack: Danny, meet Harriet Chin, she's a big time journalist for the Milwaukee Journal now, but back in our college days, she was just Harrie... Harrie Chin! Haha-Get it?!
  Maddie: (sighs) I'm really sorry, Harriet.
  Harriet: Sweetie, you married him. You should be.
  • And this...
    Jack: Hey, that's my song! Come on, let's Pogo! (grabs Maddie and drags her off dancing horribly, knocking people down on the dance floor)
    Danny: Okay, I'm officially mortified.
    Harriet: What took so long?
    • And especially this!
      (Skulker holds a green glowing arm blade up to Danny's throat.)
      Danny: (nervous laughter) Uh, the glowing blade is new.
      Skulker: (cheerfully) You like it? I've had some upgrades!
• Danny's response to Vlad's We Can Rule Together offer.
  Danny: Dude, you are one seriously-crazed-up fruit loop. That is never gonna happen!

"Prisoners of Love"

• Someone telling the Box Ghost to shut up.

"My Brother's Keeper"

• The aftermath of Sam and Tucker's appointment with Spectra:
  Tucker: I hate my life.
  Sam: I hate your life even more.
• Bertrand shapeshifts into a ninja, pulls out a pair of nunchaku, and starts spinning them to intimidate Danny. Danny just dryly remarks, "I don't have time for this" and sucks Bertrand into the Fenton Thermos.

"Shades of Gray"

• The Fake-Out Make-Out. Becomes even funnier when you notice Danny trying to tap out of the kiss and was slamming his fists into the ground, completely shocked by it.
  • The ensuing dialogue, when Danny has Post-Kiss Catatonia:
    Sam: Danny? Danny? You...didn't think that was a real kiss. Did you?
    Danny: NO!...Why? Did you?

"Fanning the Flames"

• Danny and Sam flying into a giant cutout of Ember whilst distracted by one another in "Fanning The Flames".
  Sam: Flying's... nice. (SPLAT!) Falling stinks!
• "Lord of the Flies! They're slipping right through my hands!"
• And let's not forget the scene where Sam force kisses Dash to break Ember's spell on Danny:
  Dash: Ahhhh! She tastes like geek!
  Sam: Ahhhh! He tastes like failure!
  (Dash and other jocks/guards run away in fear)
• Sam realizing with horror that she left Tucker tied up in the computer lab for twelve hours.
  Tucker: Twelve… hours… of… intensive standardized test prep.
• Jack wanting to lock Danny and Jazz away in the Fenton Stockades (iron maidens), but Maddie does not want that kind of punishment. As he insisted, she locks him in instead. Then Jack yells, referring to Danny and Jazz, "I meant them!"
• A small one is that at one point in the episode, Danny keeps staring at Sam (as a result of Ember's powers making him fall madly in love with Sam) which makes her uncomfortable, and asks him to stare at something other than her... and he starts staring at a picture of her.
• Ember has televised her spell all over the world only to be broken by Tucker's horrible singing, and the entire world has heard it.

"Teacher of the Year"

• Mr. Lancer's photo of his sister and him commenting how no one notices that it's just him in a dress.
• When Danny's parents cut him off from electronic devices until he retakes his test, he gets a call from Tucker. Jack snatches his phone and yells "He's BUSY!" before crushing it in his palm. After Danny passes the test, Jack says that he should give him his phone back, despite the phone being in pieces.

"Fright Night"

• This part after Lancer gets sent away to another dimension by the Fright Knight:
  Danny: What did you do to him?!
  Fright Knight: (ominously) I sent him to where all who feel the sting of my blade are sent: a dimension where his worst fears come to life.
  (Beat)
  Danny: YES! This contest is so mine!
  Sam: *Death Glare*
  Danny: Uh... I mean, bring him back, you fiend!
• This exchange between Tucker and the Fright Knight:
  Tucker: Yeah, yeah, very scary. The fake horse is pretty neat though. What's it made out of, flaming bedsheets?
  Fright Knight: Flaming bedsheets of DEATH!
• Danny's Parody Commercial:
  I AM THE FRIGHT KNIGHT! TREMBLE BEFORE THE SOUL SHREDDER! (holds up an inflatable sword, announcer voice) It slices, it dices, it creates your worst fear! Now how much would ya pay?

"13"

• Johnny 13 calling Jack "Pops" throughout the episode.
  • The best part was when he barricades Jack and Maddie in their room:
    Johnny: Sorry Pops, I didn't want you cramping my style.
    Jack: Stop calling me Pops!!
    [Jack punches a large fist-shaped dent in the door while Johnny has a goofy expression on his face.]
• Danny's horrified scream when he accidentally uses his dad's "Sufferin' spooks" Character Catchphrase.
• This bit when Jack and Maddie go chase after Johnny 13 (who unbeknownst to them is actually chasing Danny).
  Jack: He’s on the run!
  Maddie: (pulls out a wooden bat) And I’ve got the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick! Let’s get him!
  Jack: Sweetie, that’s a regular bat.
  Maddie: Yep. But it’s a bat with the word “Fenton” on it! (takes off after Johnny 13)
  Jack: Man, that’s hot!

"Public Enemies"

• This conversation:
  Prisoner: You'll never take me alive, coppers!
  Bullet: [Deadpan.] You're a ghost.
  Prisoner: Well, you'll still never take me!
  • And finally, the scene where Maddie realizes that Jack forgot to charge the bazooka.

    Maddie: [To Danny, with Fenton Bazooka to his head, about to shoot.] By the authority invested in me by the city of Amity Park, I sentence you back from once you came!
    Danny: Oh man, I have got to start paying more attention in these fights.
    Maddie: [Finds note on Fenton Bazooka, reads it.] "Honey, forgot to fully charge Fenton Bazooka. - Jack P.S.: Can I have a cookie?"
    Danny: With that, I bid you a fond farewell. [Flies away.]
    Maddie: [Waves fist.] You haven't seen the last of me!
    Danny: [Out of earshot.] Duh, I'll see you at dinner.

"Lucky in Love"

• Danny is given the name "Inviso-Bill" by the media.
  • Danny and Co.'s reaction to it.
    Danny: Guys, we have a problem.
    Sam: I'll say. "Inviso-Bill"?
    Tucker: Yeah, man...you need a publicist.
  • Or later this...
    Paulina: You're that one who saved me...Inviso-Bill right?
    Danny: Ugh... I need a publicist.
  • Or when Kitty was possessing Paulina, blackmailing Danny...
    Kitty (in Paulina): Maybe...(in Paulina's voice) or maybe Paulina might slip up and tell the whole town that Danny Fenton is the ghost boy? (smirk)
    Danny: Uh... That's "Inviso-Bill".
• When Danny goes into the Ghost Zone to ask for Johnny’s help, which leads to this.
  Sam: Remember Danny; be cool. Play it close to the vest!
  Danny: (frantically begging) You have got to take. Kitty. Back! (grabs Johnny’s jacket and pulls him close) She is suffocating me! I need my space! You gotta help me!
  Johnny 13: Okay, okay! (pushes Danny off of him) But y’know, you might’ve wanted to play that a little closer to the vest.
• Danny gets two, one after Shadow throws a lightning rod into a car, impaling the roof:
  Danny: Optional sunroof. Nice.
  • In addition to when he and Johnny are pretending to fight to fool Kitty, and Danny delivers a particularly painful punch to Johnny's nose.
    Johnny: I thought this was a pretend fight!
    Danny: Then pretend that didn't hurt! *punches him again*

"Maternal Instinct"

• "Suck the house into a parallel dimension ONE TIME, and you just can't let it go, can you?"
• "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" *squish*
• Jack seeing Jazz in a HAZMAT suit.
  Jack: [Sees Jazz in her mom's spare Hazmat suit.] Jazz? Why, look at you. You're the spitting image of your mother. I always knew this day would come. That why, years ago, I had this made! [Pulls out a hazmat suit identical to his own.]
  Jazz: Nice.
  Jack: Uh... Sorry about the size. I always thought you'd be swimming in my end of the gene pool. The end filled with ranch dressing, melted cheese and fudge. LOTS of fudge.
• This bit....
  Danny: Bye, Vlad! And as a lonely single man in your 40's, might I suggest internet dating... or a cat!
  Vlad: Mark my words, Maddie, nobody says no to Vlad Masters. You will rue the day that you spurred my affection...AND. I. WILL. NOT. GET. A. CAT!
  • Bonus points for him actually getting a cat in season three!
    • And naming it "Maddie"...
• Danny questioning how Maddie doesn't have a phone on her after she whips out a collapsible bo staff.
• Maddie running through the house trying to find a phone while Danny fights Vlad, opening doors to find cars, ATVs, and a helicopter and not noticing them because she's so busy. After she comes back in to where Danny and Vlad are, she's in the middle of talking to him when she finally realizes it.
  Maddie: Helicopter, but no phone. And Danny thinks I'M the nut...

"Life Lessons"

• This tidbit:
  Mrs. Testlaff: Fenton! Gray! Congratulations, you two stragglers are paired up for a special week-long health sciences project. I now pronounce you man, wife, and child. [Mrs. Testlaff hands Danny the flour sack.]
  Danny: I am so not kissing the bride!
  Valerie: What makes you think you can?
  • Skulker: [Hunting Danny and Valerie.] Ah, yes. I can smell them. Sweat, fear- [Sniffs the air again.] -and beans. One of them must've had a burrito.
• Danny insisting Valerie use the term "Ghost Zone," not "Ghost World," is hilarious for those who know that term is already taken twice over.
• Tucker's plan of getting extra cash by watching over the other students' flour babies coming to an end when he finds out that his mother used the flour to make cookies, especially the shots of destroyed flour sacks and Tucker screaming a Big "NO!" upon learning this.
• Tucker takes his obsession with being a dad to his and Sam's flour sack way too seriously. At one point he leaves and kisses the sack and accidentally Sam goodbye. This is the moment Tucker realizes he is taking this parenting thing too far and the moment is so hilariously awkward.

"The Million Dollar Ghost"

• Vlad is trying to retrieve a key guarded by a beast in his ghost portal. Just as he's about to snatch the key, the portal's alarm suddenly starts beeping rapidly.
  Vlad: Change the Ecto-Filtrator? OH, FUDGE BUCKETS!" (cringes and turns intangible just as the portal explodes with a BOOM!)
• Lancer places a purple mask on his face and Jack bursts in, mistaking it for the real deal.
  Sam: Didn't you get the memo? The school's running ghost drills.
  Danny: Ghost drills?
  (cut to Lancer walking the halls wearing a hideous purple horned mask and is holding his hands above his as students look at him with incredulity.)
  Lancer: Ooh! I am a ghost!
  Jazz: Oh, c'mon! Who's that supposed to fool?
  Jack: GHOST! (bursts in wearing his heavy ghost utility suit and helmet) Just got the memo! And I know there are ghosts around here!
  Jazz: Dad, no!
  Danny: It’s not a ghost! It’s an out-of-shape teacher in a mask!
  Jack: We’ll see about that, son. EAT GHOST PEELER, SPOOK!
  Lancer: NO! (gets blasted screams as his mask peels off his face and is blown away in shreds, followed by his shirt and his pants, revealing him in only his boxers and his hairy, not-so-manly chest covered in an undershirt. Students laugh) Grrr!
  Student: I'll never respect his authority again!
  Jack: Wow! You're right! He is outta shape!
  Lancer: I can't give you detention, but someone named “Fenton” is staying after school.
  Jack and Jazz: Whoa! Look at the time! (both sprint off, leaving Danny alone)
• Jack has Danny sucked in his Fenton Weasel vac and walks down an alley to claim his "million bucks" reward.
  Jack: Hmm...kinda funny place to claim a reward.
  Danny: Please! Stop! You should know what you're getting into here!
  Jack: I know exactly what I'm getting into — a bigger place in my son's heart.
  Danny: (to himself) Great, now I'm crushed by space and guilt. (To Jack) Look, you have to listen to me! All of this is a trap!
  Jack: Oh, please, ghost, why should I believe you? (a glowing pink cage suddenly appears and traps him) Hey!
  Danny: Does that answer your question?
• Vlad appears and gives a slow clap as he reveals to his prisoners his plan to steal their portal.
  Jack: You! The Wisconsin Ghost!
  Vlad: Ah, very good. All the pawns doing exactly what they’re supposed to. Leaving you two trapped and your Fenton portal unprotected! So I can steal it and make it a Plasmius Portal!
  Danny: Wait a minute! You already have a ghost portal!
  Jack: He has a ghost portal? You have a ghost portal?!
  Vlad: Of course I have a portal! (looks away sheepishly) Well, I did. It up and exploded on me. Ah, well, that’s what you get for forgetting to clean the Ecto-Filtrator. Hmm? Live and learn. Or in your case, die and learn! (floats off, leaving his prisoners behind)
  Danny: Uh-oh!
• At the Fenton house, the three Vulture Ghosts ambush Maddie and Jazz.
  Jazz: Mom? Dad? Danny? (Maddy clamps her hand over Jazz's mouth)
  Maddie: Quiet! There are ghosts about!
  Vulture Ghost #1: Actually, “Ghosts” is a bit insensitive. We prefer the term “Ecto-Americans”!
  (Maddie pulls out a small green pellet and tosses it to the floor, and she and Jazz disappear in a cloud of green smoke. Now she and Jazz sprint through the hall)
  Maddie: C'mon, we have to get to the weapons vault!
  Jazz: We have a weapons vault?
  (Cut to the doorway of the Vault, it has a circular door with a punch pad next to it. Maddie and Jazz run up and Maddie types in the passcode. The screen flashes “DENIED”.)
  Maddie: Darn that man! Your father changed the password! There’s no way in!
  Vulture Ghost #2: Or out! (The vultures land on Maddie and Jazz, turning them blue and intangible, then phase them through the door.)
  Maddie: Oh, great! Now we're stuck!
  Jazz: How can we be stuck? It’s not like dad would forget to put a handle on the inside of the door, right? (Cut to the door, there’s a note taped on a wheel. Jazz takes it as she reads it aloud.) “Note to self: Have Danny install handle on inside of door, Jack.” (glares)
• Danny (in ghost form) tries to warn a gloomy Jack that they have to save Fenton Portal from Vlad before the portal explodes.
  Danny: Look, you have to listen to me! We gotta get to your house and fast!
  Jack: Why? So you can gloat while I lose my Fenton Portal and the respect of my son in one foul swoop?
  Danny: You're gonna lose more than that if your ghost portal explodes!
  Jack: It's not gonna explode. I'm sure Danny changed the Ecto-Filtrator. I told him five times.
  Danny: Did he clean the lab?
  Jack: No.
  Danny: Does he clean his room?
  Jack: No.
  Danny: (Meekly) Uh, would he... uh, I don't know... forget to install a handle on the inside of a weapons vault or something?
  (Jack's eyes widen in realization)
  Jack: GREAT GOBS OF GHOST GOO, THE PORTAL'S GONNA BLOW! (releases Danny from the weasel) [Cut to Jack inside the cage with the weasel on the ground.] Ghost kid! You gotta help me save my family! If you do, I'll set you free.
  Danny: Uh, you just did. (Jack slaps his forehead) Good thing my dad's a lousy negotiator. Jack—man that’s cool, heh. You've got a deal.

"Control Freaks"

• Tucker crossdressing as Sam.
• "Hey everyone, over here! We're Danny Fenton and Sam Manson! We cut school and we're proud of it!"
• "I ask you again...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH JUMPSUITS?!"
• The episode ends with Lancer still locked in the janitor's closet. And then the janitor opens the door and says to him, "See ya Monday."

Season 2

"Memory Blank"

• The lead-in to Sam's Unwillingly Girly Tomboy moment. She questions how she can get through to a teenage boy's mind...then her eyes go wide and she curses the idea she just had with deadpan chagrin.
• Paulina's gushing about Sam dressing up in pink and make-up:
  Paulina: She surrendered her individuality for a boy, I'm so proud of her!
• Desiree: (in her usual sultry tone) "So you have wished it, sooo (switches to a flat annoyed tone midway through that line) you know the rest."
• Toilet Humor, anyone?
  Sam: Danny, use your ghost ray! You can fire a ghost ray out of your hand!
  Danny: [Concentrating.] Ghost ray, ghost ray...! [Butt begins to glow green.] Well, that can't be right! But it'll have to do! [Fires ghost ray out of butt.]
  • Later in the same episode:
    Tucker: Oh, man, that was close. [Danny bends over to pick up the thermos. Tucker is behind Danny, unfortunately.] Watch where you're pointing that thing!
• The photo montage when Danny gets his memory back. Dynamic music is playing during all the photos of Danny fighting ghosts. Then it suddenly changes to a picture of him using intangibility to sneak in and out of the girls' locker room, complete with cheery music. It was even funnier the second time the photo was flashed.
  • This moment is the page image for Power Perversion Potential.
• The accidental hug from "One of a Kind" makes a come back.

"Doctor's Disorders"

• This little ditty:
  Jack: Why should we trust you?
  Bert Rand: Because I'm with the government and I can audit your taxes if you don't.
  Jack:... We trust you.
• After Danny gets captured, Tucker mulls over going in after him.
  Tucker: Spooky hospital, ghosts guarding the joint, still, no sign that Danny's in any real danger yet.
  Danny: [from inside the hospital] Let me go!
  Tucker: Still, technically not a cry for help.
  Danny: HELP!
  Tucker: Well, not a cry for me.
  Danny: TUCKER!
  Tucker: [realizing he has to go in to save Danny] Aw, dang.
  • Making the moment even funnier, Danny sounds more annoyed than scared at the last part.
  • And, of course, after that:
    (Tucker kicks in vent, then drops into room)
    Tucker: Hello, models! ...I mean, uh, Danny! You're okay!
    Danny: (Strapped to an Operating Table) Tucker! You broke into the hospital!
    (Beat)
    Danny: Wait...You broke into a hospital?
    Tucker: Please stop saying hospital. Because I will run, and leave you here to perish.
  • Tucker's reaction to Spectra's new form:
    I am in a modeling agency!
  • When Danny (or rather, his dad's snot rag) causes Spectra's new body to turn into an overweight, fudge craving snot monster, Danny offers this line.
    Danny: There's a "you blew it" pun in there somewhere, but... I'd rather not.
  • Some fighting later, this exchange happens.
    Spectra: Let's boogie!
    Danny: See? That's the kind of pun I was avoiding with the whole "blew it" comment.
  • The whole scene was rapid fire funny moments in thrice succession. The one that links them up is when Danny punches Spectra's face and some mucus is stuck to his fist.
    Danny: You know, if my life wasn't at stake here, I'd probably hurl right now.

"Pirate Radio"

• With his parents and sister gone, Danny notes things will be quiet at his house for the evening. It then Gilligan Cuts to Danny's house where all his classmates are having a party in his living room.
  Danny: Not getting invited to a party is one thing, but not getting invited to a party AT MY OWN HOUSE?!
• Figuring out the villain:
  Sam: (looking at cruise brochure) 'M. Bursback.' Ember's back. That's not a clue, that's a billboard!
  Tucker: We really gotta start paying more attention to these things.
• Between Dash and Danny, when Danny's trying to rally the students against a ghost invasion:
  Dash: Why should we follow you, Fentoad?
  Danny: You're right, Dash. Let's ask the other kid who comes from a family of ghost hunters and knows how to use all their gear. (Beat) No takers? All right then. Now, who's with me?
• After being freed from his mind control, Jack notices the effects of being on an exercise bike all night. Maddie approves.
  Jack: Why do I feel like I suddenly have buns of steel?
  Maddie: AT LAST! I mean, I love you just the way you are.
  Jazz: Ew.
• The ending bit, where Youngblood and his parrot are trapped underwater on the sunken ship thanks to Tucker activating its ghost shield.
  Parrot: (Trying to get out) Let me out of here! LET ME OUT!
  Youngblood: I believe it's more like "Ahoy, matey! I'm marooned on this island!"
  Parrot: Oh, shut your gob, you twit!

"Reign Storm"

• When the Ecto-Skeleton is draining Jack:
  Maddie: Vlad, help me get these pants off Jack!
  Vlad: Nope. Sorry. That's all you.
• This bit.
  Mr. Gray: (walks in on Danny in ghost mode and Valerie in her hunting costume arguing with each other) What is going on here?
  (Both stare at him)
  Valerie: (turns and points at Danny) You're not the boss of me!
  Danny: (Nonchalantly rips off Valerie's mask, exposing her identity; Valerie screams in surprise) No, but he is!
  Mr. Gray: Valerie?!
  Valerie: (screams, then turns to Danny) You're dead for this, you hear me?! Dead! (lunges at him but is stopped by her father).
  Mr. Gray: You've been battling ghosts, all this time? Are you okay?
  Valerie: I...I'm fine.
  Mr. Gray: (Puts her down) THEN YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!
  • There's also this scene towards the end:
    Reporter: Danny Phantom has gone from "villain" to "hero" in the eyes of many in our town.
    (Valerie shoots the TV with her weapon)
    Valerie: That depends on who you're asking.
    Mr. Gray: (off-screen) Valerie! Was that the ecto-gun?
    Valerie: (hiding it behind her back) No!
• The Percussive Prevention bit. Maddie knocks Jack down, who gets stopped by Jazz, and so on and so forth...
  Danny: I thought I was gonna have to blast everybody with a ghost ray, but this is much more efficient.
• When Danny defeats Pariah, it's usually considered Fridge Horror for putting him in backwards, but it's subtly amusing in that he put him in facing the dark side.

"Identity Crisis"

• Danny and his friends are doing a checklist on where their ghost enemies are currently located. Some get more credit than others:
  Sam: Ember?
  Danny: Ghost Zone.
  Tucker: Skulker?
  Danny: Ghost Zone.
  Sam: Box Ghost?
  All 3: Who cares?
  Box Ghost: (Popping out of Fenton Portal) Hey, I have feelings too, you know!
• If anything, Super Danny in one episode of his intended mockery of the superhero genre. Nothing is more amusing than him shouting out seriously (and dramatically): "You Felonious Fiend!"
  • The best bit ever uttered by Super Danny:
    "Curse this infernal messy room! This looks like a job for the VACUUM CLEANER!"

"The Fenton Menace"

• Danny: You have now stooped to my level. Thank you for shopping Fenton Mart.
• Once Jack sees Danny "attacking" the Fenton-mobile, he pulls a blaster out of nowhere. When Maddie questions where he was keeping said blaster, Jack can only respond with a sheepish "I uh, I'd rather not say."

"The Ultimate Enemy"

• Box Lunch's debut...
  Box Lunch: I am Box Lunch! Daughter of the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady!
  Danny: Um, ewww!
  • This actually becomes a Running Gag.
    • First when Danny tells Sam and Tucker about it.
    Tucker: Danny, who was that ghost you were fighting?
    Danny: That was Box Lunch, the daughter of the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady.
    Sam and Tucker: Yikes.
    Danny: Actually, it's more of an “ew”.
    • Then when meeting Skulktech 9.9:
    Danny: Skulker and Technus together?
    Tucker: Is that an “ew” or a “yikes”?
    [Several claw-ended arms spring out of Skulktech]
    Danny: Definitely a “yikes”!
  • And before that there's an incredibly awkward exchange between Danny and Jazz
    Danny: A ghost? Here? (to Jazz) Now get out of my room!
    Jazz: You're in the kitchen. (sees Box Lunch) But if that's your attitude, then I don't want to see you or anything you might do here for the next several minutes!
  • After Box Lunch creates a suit of armor from all of the food in Danny's kitchen:
  Box Lunch: And now—and you probably knew this was coming—BEWARE!
• Despite Skulktech's efforts to prevent that, his technology is still vulnerable to hacking.
  Skulker: Someone's hacking into the system? AGAIN!? I thought we fixed that!
  Technus: We did. We must have accidentally synched up with somebody else's... PDA!!!
  (Cue the combined duo being forced to fly out Danny's room before Sam and Tucker enter the room, with the latter holding said PDA)
  Tucker: Wow, I can still hack into his operating system with my handheld computer. I don't know whether that's exciting or depressing.
  • While Skulktech is flying uncontrolablly:
    Skulker: What are you waiting for!? Activate the Purpleback Gorilla Override!
    Technus: Don't tell me how to do my job!
    • The mere fact that Skulker actually names an override command after the animal that contributed to his first defeat against Danny is downright hilarious.
• Danny manages to locate the entrance to Vlad's portal while in the Ghost Zone... hidden behind a giant purple football. Even funnier considering his evil future self had just mentioned being unable to locate said portal.
  Danny: Welp, that's Vlad for ya. Subtle as a flying mallet.

"The Fright Before Christmas"

• When Sam is in "spreading holiday cheer" mode, she says "Have a kickin' Kwanzaa" to a random black guy, who just rolls his eyes as he continues walking away.
• Tucker tries to use a mistletoe hat to get a kiss from a girl at the mall. She instead has her dog kiss him.
  Tucker: Mmm. You had liver for lunch.
• Jack's belief in Santa Claus during the Christmas Episode had him building an entire landing point decorated with related holiday goodies on top of the Fenton Opt Center with a glaring arrow sign that reads, "This Way, Santa" just for Santa's sleigh.
• That episode's rhyming pattern made for more than a few funny lines, this one probably standing above them all:

  Danny: So I snuck out, and got a few of your favorites. And here, Mom, for you.
  Jack: Mmm mmm mmm mmm...avorites!

• How Danny breaks the author's curse on him... with an orange.

  "Young Danny thought quickly and picked up an orange. He threw it at Walker who- aw crud, nothing rhymes with orange!"

  • Made funnier by the fact that the Ghost Writer didn't know that there are actually words that rhymes with orange: "Blorenge", which is a mountain in Wales, and the little-known word sporange, which is used to describe the spores on plants. Or, you could be like Drake and go with "door hinge".
• After the Ghostwriter is defeated (because he couldn't find a word rhyming with orange), the following exchange happens:

  Walker: (holding an orange) Orange?
  Ghostwriter: Get that thing away from me!

• When the Ghostwriter makes the other ghosts fight one another, the Lunch Lady incapacitates Sidney Poindexter by sitting on him.
• The cliffhanger where Danny has to fight a giant nutcracker.
  Danny: Aw, nuts!
  Ghostwriter: ...Danny cried as he tried to run. Must we end every scene with a terrible pun?

"Secret Weapons"

• Danny venting at Jazz's incompetent attempts to help him fight ghosts is hilarious.
  Jazz: That was good work tonight, Danny. We caught three ghosts.
  Danny: No, we caught one ghost three times, all of them ME!
• Danny's computer is not even safe from Jazz's snooping...
  [Jazz walks in the janitor closet holding her laptop with Danny's personal ghost files on it.]
  Danny: [Popping out from his hiding spot.] Where did you get this?!
  Jazz: From your computer.
  Danny: You hacked into my personal ghost files?! And how did you get the password?!
  Sam, Tucker, and Jazz: It's “Paulina Fenton”.
• Technus' cameo:
  [Technus flies out of Ghost Zone door in a towel with a shower cap and a brush.]
  Technus: Which of you fools stole my- (gets blasted into door)
• This exchange:
  Jazz: You're toast!
  Danny: Oh, yeah? You and what toaster?! (''gets punched in the face'')
• This episode proves Jazz isn't the only one with a victory dance when Maddie shakes her thang at Jack's face after beating him in checkers.
  Maddie: Nobody likes a sore loser, Jackie!
• Sibling banter at its finest.
  Jazz: (Singing) We know something they don't know!
  Danny: (Imitating/mocking Jazz with an annoyed expression; singing) I get it! Can we let it die, now?!
  • Even better when you realize David Kaufman had siblings to practice on in his childhood!
• Jack and Maddie observing that they have the house to themselves with their children gone.
  Jack: In the meantime, Danny's busy skulking, Jazz is safe in Wisconsin. We have the house to ourselves.... I'll get the checkerboard! (Maddie frowns in disappointment)

"Flirting With Disaster"

• This exchange:
  Technus: Are you mad, child? Picking a fight with me in my upgraded form?!
  Danny: (genuinely incredulous) You upgraded to a mullet?
• And this exchange:
  Sam: (over Danny's Fenton phones) Clueless One, this is Goth One, over.
  Danny: Goth One, this is Clueless One. (beat) Why am I “Clueless One”?
  Tucker: (Overheard from Sam's Fenton Phone) Tell him!
  Sam: (annoyed) Shut it!!

"Micro Management"

• I DON'T DO PUNY!
• Danny shrinking Dash again when his bully suggests they both pick on his alter ego.
• Skulker's final fate in the episode, where he's shrunk and trapped in an ice cube that's put in the root beer that Jack is drinking. The final scene of the episode is even Skulker screaming a Big "NO!" as Jack prepares to take another sip of the root beer.

"Beauty Marked"

• The girls' attempt at sucking up to Danny to win the pageant.
  Star: I did your math homework.
  Danny: Now, ladies, ladies, you can't influence the judge with cookies and—whoa! Is this homework done all the way through next semester?!
  Star: Mm-hm.
  Danny: This pleases me.
• Sam's attempt at making herself revolting to Prince Aragon.

"King Tuck"

• "Doing backbreaking labor for a nerd?! This isn't supposed to happen til we're like thirty!"

"Masters of All Time"

• At the start of the episode, Danny's parents show up at the Nasty Burger wearing dorky 80's clothes for "80's Night", and everyone starts laughing at them. Then they head over to Danny to give him his wallet that he left at the house.
  Danny: Uh, thanks.
  Jack: Don't mention it. We love ya, man!
  [Maddie gives Danny a death hug, which is strangling him.]
  Danny: [to Jazz] If I pass out, I give you permission to not resuscitate me.
• This moment:
  [Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne.]
  Maddie: We have an outbreak of ecto-acne. And there's only one place on earth that knows how to treat ecto-acne!
  Danny: [hopefully] Please say hospital, please say hospital, please say hospital...!
  [scene shifts to Fenton Works in quarantine.]
  Danny: [disappointed/annoyed] Why didn't she just say hospital?
  • Another crowner:
    Maddie: [nervously] That's my...carpet foamer! It eliminates stains, not ghosts! [Bats her eyelashes at Vlad.] Right, sweetie?
    Vlad: Maddie, can you ever forgive me for doubting you? [Maddie and Vlad begin to kiss.]
    Danny: [cringing in disgust and covering his face] I thought my real parents were embarrassing. This is SO much worse!
• Once Danny comes up with the idea to stop Vlad from ever getting his ghost powers:
  Danny: I just got a great idea.
  (cut to Clockwork's tower)
  Clockwork: No Danny, it's a terrible idea.
• This bit while Danny is fighting his alternate timeline father.
  Danny: I don't understand...that's got to be Dad.
  Jack: [fires at Danny only to miss, twice.]
  Danny: He aims like Dad.

"Kindred Spirits"

• Even Vlad's holograms - well, at least the Maddie ones - didn't like him, in another CMOF:
  Holographic Maddie: Going critical... Losing coherence... And I never loved you. I love the Jack program.
  Holographic Jack: [slides onscreen and puts an arm around the holographic Maddie, waving at Vlad] Vladdy!
  [They kiss.]
• This exchange.
  Sam: Why aren't we in the cafeteria? Umm, because we're meeting Danny and totally ditching school.
  Tucker: And there's nothing you can do about it...old man!
  Mr. Lancer: Old man?! You two are in a world of trouble! Ow, my hip!

"Double Cross My Heart"

• Danny taking offense to being called a prepubescent specter.
  Danny: [pulls a hair from under his costume] See, that's totally a chest hair!
• "MY NAME IS ELLIOOOOOOOT!"

"Reality Trip"

• This exchange:
  Danny: From now on, it's no more pencils, no more books...and no Going Ghost so my parents can't tear me apart "molecule by molecule."
  Sam: Which reminds me, how did you convince my parents to let me spend an entire summer with your parents?
  (Flashback)
  Mrs. Manson: (Overshadowed by Danny) You know, I think the Fentons are wonderful! Sam should take a cross-country trip with them!
  [Danny overshadows Mr. Manson]
  Overshadowed!Mr. Manson: And I agree with you! Let's never speak of this again.
  (Flashback ends)
  Danny: Uh, let's just say I...finally got under their skin.

Season 3

"Eye for an Eye"

• The pranks that ensue at the beginning of the episode.
• Maddie points out that Vlad doesn't care about other people, to which Jack replies by saying that makes him an ideal politician.
• The fact that it was completely unnecessary for Vlad to overshadow Jack when the denizens of Amity Park start casting their ballots, as Jack was willing to vote for Vlad anyway.
• Danny, Sam and Tucker's hella unconvincing performance when they get Vlad in trouble by making it look like he shot Danny unprovoked.

"Infinite Realms"

• Jack's ancestor, John Fenton Nightingale. A Generation Xerox centuries in the making.
• Sam protesting over being burned at the stake.
  Sam: I'm not a witch! Are you people that paranoid? Oh, wait. Salem, 1600's. Duh!
• While at a Chinese monastery, Tucker finds a fortune on toilet paper.
• Danny using his invisibility to photobomb the Wright Brothers.
• Vlad ending the episode frozen in ice and donated as a statue.

"Girls' Night Out"

• Danny taking a jab at Skulker's love life:
  Danny: What do you want, Skulker?
  Skulker: My girlfriend says I'm a lousy hunter. [points his gun] Hanging your pelt on my wall will change her mind.
  Danny: [shocked] Wow.
  Skulker: Frightened now?
  Danny: No. I can't believe you have a girlfriend.
  Beat
  Skulker: Now that just plain hurts.
• When Jazz comes up with the plan of tricking the trio of ghosts into thinking there's still one guy left in Amity Park, both she and Maddie wordlessly look at Sam.
  Sam: It's because I wear boots, isn't it?!
• Jack and Danny bringing home the sea monster they caught.

"Torrent of Terror"

• Vlad asking Vortex to stop the storm.
  Vortex: Stop the rain?! The weather is my art! I will not just stop it! Did anyone ask Picasso to stop painting the Mona Lisa?
  Vlad: That was Da Vinci, you dolt!
  Vortex: Whatever! Bottom line: THE RAIN STAYS!
• Also, throughout the episode, Danny zapping Vlad with lightning, cyclones, and other weather whenever he gets angry.
• Freeze-Frame Bonus when Vlad orders Vortex to create the initial rainstorm. Just before he's hit by the spectral barometer, Vortex is lounging on a cloud complete with sunglasses! Never mind why a ghost would be sunbathing, where did he get the shades?!
• Vlad introducing Vortex to Danny and co before leaving.
  Vlad: Uh, no. I was just going to introduce you to a friend of mine. Danny, this is Vortex. Vortex, Danny. Well, gotta fly...Ta! (Flies off).
  Danny: (Deadpan) My hero...
• "GIMMIE A "V"! (Beat) Someone's going to give me a "V" or there's gonna be trouble..."
• This:
  Tucker: Look on the bright side, Danny; until we get back, he's going to have to cater to your every whim and desire.
  Sam: Yeah, he wouldn't want to make you angry.
  (The two smirk slyly at Vlad, who looks back slightly worried)
  Danny: This pleases me.

"Forever Phantom"

• Some random guy in a helicopter wanting Danny to sign his hairy body with a razor... Poor Danny...

"Urban Jungle"

• Maddie and Jacks' Big Damn Heroes moment takes a quick little detour into funny:
  Jack: Get your filthy roots off my town, you horticultural terror! Thanks for writing down the word 'horticulture', sweetface.
  Maddie: I didn't want you to mispronounce it during the battlecry, hon. First impressions are very important.
  Jack: And you married me anyway.
• When Danny returns after mastering his new ice powers, he tries to talk some sense into a Brainwashed and Crazy Sam.
  Danny: Sam, we have to get you out of here.
  Sam: No. I like it here. Undergrowth has made all things new. They [Undergrowth’s plants] need me. I am their new mother.
  Danny: What? You won't even babysit your cousins!
• "I just had a nightmare I was trapped in a giant salad bar. Ugh-garbanzo beans."

"Livin' Large"

• When Sam and Tucker spy on the Guys in White, they end up getting found out and handcuffed to a pole:
  Sam: "You can't do this to us! I know the law! I read a graphic novel version of the Constitution!"
• The Guys in White continually trying and failing to use the Fenton Works technology.
• The Running Gag of Danny getting hit in the head by the Tucker-bot.

"Boxed Up Fury"

• The episode begins with the Box Ghost saying his "Beware" catchphrase in different inflections.
• Box Ghost's surprisingly great sandwiches.
• This episode has a great one:
  Jazz: Eat my fire, dragonbreath! [shoots Fenton Bazooka]
  Maddie: Ten heads, meet nine tails! [whips out the Jack o' Nine Tails]
  Jack: I DON'T HAVE A CLEVER QUIP! [shoots gun]
• When Sam explains that every time the Box is opened the evil released is more dangerous than the last, Tucker questions why the frogs would come after the snakes.
• This exchange after Danny saves Skulker from demonic ghost unicorns.
  Skulker: I won’t tell anyone about this if you won’t.
  Danny: Deal.
• Pandora clarifying that she's actually a very nice person deep down, then blasting the Box Ghost into a wall immediately after.
  Box Ghost: So much pain...
• After Pandora's Box has been reclaimed but the evil is still loose, Pandora explains what it was actually for and that cleaning up was the easy part.
  Pandora: I knew that spew switch was going to come back to haunt me.

"Frightmare"

• The priceless moment when Danny possesses Dash in Sam's dream, declares Dash to be Danny Phantom, and then Goes Ghost inside of Dash in order to wake Sam up.
• After jumping inside Tucker's dream, Danny is just so insulted by the fact that he's Tucker's janitor.
  Danny: Seriously? I'm your janitor?!
• During Danny's first fight with Nocturn.
  Nocturn: My army will keep the world asleep, so that I may remain all powerful.
  Danny: That's all you do? Put people to sleep? You sure you're not a teacher?

"Claw of the Wild"

• The entire class (sans Danny, Tucker, and Sam) whispering "Please say just passing through" when they run into Mr. Lancer and Coach Tetslaff at the summer camp.
• Everybody's horrified reaction to finding out there are no bathrooms. Even Mr. Lancer tosses in a shocked "CALL OF THE WILD!"

"D-Stabilized"

• Despite the seriousness of her potentially melting, Danielle tries to make some light of her losing power. Sarcasm is something she definitely shares with Danny.
  Dani: I gotta get to Danny fast! (Flies slowly) Or slow... slow's good. (Her speed decreases further) Or slower... even slower's better...

"Phantom Planet"

• Vlad's Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking list for why he plans to "finish off Danny Phantom once and for all" in the Grand Finale: "Taking my map, destroying my satellite, mocking my mental health..."
• Two of Vlad's holo-Maddies have a cat fight over who gets to inform Vlad of some good news, complete with computer-based insults at each other. Sadly, we don't get to see the whole thing.