Slices, Dices, and Makes Julienne Fries
Here's a Stock Phrase born in the world of infomercials. This trope is a must for the conscientious writer looking for a snappy, poppy way to jazz up the multiple talents of the object of his description. You can put it at the end of a full list of other talents ("it's murderous, relentless, merciless, and makes julienne fries!") or when describing all other generic slicers and dicers (swords, battle axes, Japanese chefs, etc.) add "... and makes julienne fries" in a cute little wink. A must for your Pop Culture Referencing Genies! But Wait, There's More! Choose this stock phrase now and we'll throw in "handles stubborn stains", "and still cut a tomato" for free! The Trope Namer for this was commercials for the Veg-O-Matic, one of the first products Ron Popeil sold, which really could do all of the things mentioned in the title. For those of you who don't remember it, the Veg-O-Matic was basically a French-fry cutter, fitted with a second blade that could be turned 90 degrees to cut slices.
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Films - Animated
Film - Live Action
- In Explorers, the three kids meet aliens who pick up English from watching television. One did a better job than the other so the latter communicates by speaking out TV catch phrases and clips from old black-and-white TV recordings, including this one.
- In the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Michelangelo starts doing the "it slices, it dices" routine as Leonardo tosses a pizza in the air and slices it with his katanas — until a slice falls on Splinter's head.
- In Animorphs, the heroes have to cover for a broken-down Chee android named Erek(Chee are normally disguised with a hologram, but due to Yeerk tampering with the Pemalite ship that was the source of their technology, their holograms were failing) by pretending he's some kind of personal multifunction tool. Cassie gives a (nervous) sales pitch in front of a store audience.
"It slices. It dices. It can make Julie Ann's fries.""You mean julienne fries?" a woman asked skeptically."Anyone's fries," Cassie said, her voice tinged with desperation. "In fact, this Kitchen Droid will ask, 'Do you want fries with that?'"
- In Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay, Dexter and Seargent Dokes are working together to track a Serial Killer named Dr. Danco, with whom Doakes has a personal history. Doakes explains that the killer is named after a brand of vegetable chopper, because he "slices, dices, and makes chopped vegetables."
- In Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, Enoch Root calls Plato's Allegory of the Cave "the Veg-O-Matic of metaphors — it slices! It dices!"
Live Action TV
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Chosen"
Willow: Did you find out anything about the scythe?Buffy: It slices, dices and makes julienne preacher.
- Thank God Youre Here Episode #1.3
Glenn Robbins: It slices, it dices. But wait, there's more. It also works as a... Ken?Frank Woodley: Killing thing.
- Hercules: The Legendary Journeys episode "The Academy"
Hercules: Let me guess: It slices and dices, and if you act now, you get a free butt-kicking. But wait, there's more!
- The "Weird Al" Yankovic song "Mr. Popeil" references all of the classic infomercial lines, and this is no exception.
- Logan Whitehurst and "The Robot Cat."
It slices! It dices! It catches the mices!
It's got a stock ticker with the Wall Street prices!
- Tom Waits' song Step Right Up is a six-minute sales pitch for a very strange sounding product, which includes the phrase.
That's right, it filets, it chops
It dices, slices, never stops
Lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
- In the song "My Girlfriend's A Robot" by The Hanson Brothers (Nomeansno's hockey-themed Ramones-esque side project, not the "MMM Bop" guys), the narrator claims of his beloved, "Now she slices and she dices, she makes julienne fries" after he takes her apart and puts her in his home appliances.
Recorded And Stand Up Comedy
- This was the basis for Gallagher's famous watermelon-smashing routine, the idea being that the sledgehammer (or sledge-o-matic) was the perfect multi-use kitchen tool.
It'll even make french fries, but you've got to crack that sumbitch just right.
- In the Warcraft III, blademaster's funny quotes "I have a blade that can cut through armor! And still cut a tomato."
- From Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando:
Announcer:He slices, he dices and carves up a mean dish, please welcome Chainblade.
- In the N Fuax Mercial of Crash Mind Over Mutant, this is one of the features of the NV.
Cortex: Talk to your disgusting friends! Watch pay-per-view! And Julien Fries! (Jams a potato in his ear, fries come out other ear. Takes a bite, and spits.) Oh, waxy!
- Oracle Of Tao has a sword technique with this sort of thing (in the skill description text):
"Slices and dices! Only $14.99!"
- Commander Keen 5: Goodbye Galaxy advertises the Omegamatic this way:
"IT SLICES! IT DICES! It causes a 100,000 light year-diameter quantum explosion!"
- Transformers: Fall of Cybertron Has Bruticus say this about his Rotor-Shield. He even follows up with But Wait, There's More!.
- This is especially funny, since one of his components, Swindle, is a caricature of Ron Popeil.
- In SNK vs. Capcom: SVC Chaos, Vega explicitly says that this is what he will do to Kasumi in their pre-fight banter.
- SF Debris spoofed the line in his Projections review, when "kinoplasmic radiation" is used to justify or Hand Wave almost every plot development in this Star Trek: Voyager episode.
SF Debris: What versatile radiation: it screws up all the computers, the transporters, and human brains. It slices, it dices, it cuts through a tin can and still slices through a tomato!
- In an early Veggie Tales story, the unnamed scallion was trying to sell a device called the "Forgive-O-Matic", which would cause God to forgive you of your sins. When informed that this wouldn't work, the scallion stated that you could put a potato into it and it would make julienne fries.
- In The Incredibles, Syndrome intones like a pitchman when he introduces the new Omnidroid (and his new self) to Mr. Incredible. "It's bigger! It's badder!"
- In Yvon Of The Yukon, in an episode referencing the French Revolution wherein Yvon unwittingly channels King Louis XVI to the point where the citizens of Upyer Mukluk haul him and Tommy - who was shanghaied into being Yvon's jester - to be executed. The villagers unfold a guillotine from a briefcase, while proclaiming "It slices! It dices!"