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Deadpan Snarker: Web Comics

  • Adventurers! has one in each camp: Ardam for the heroes and Argent for the villains. Though Ardam is usually more "exasperated" than "deadpan".
  • Flint from A Loonatic's Tale is very much this.
  • Any character in Antihero For Hire who isn't a) Doctor Nefarious b) ice-powered guy still looking for a name c) Baron Diamond. And they have their moments.
  • APT Comic has everyone doing it to the point that and word puns are the majority of the humor displayed.
  • Sheila in At Arm's Length within her group of friends. Also Kaige at times.
  • Kris from Bardsworth.
  • McCain from Bittersweet Candy Bowl has this down to an art. Lucy can be pretty good at this too.
  • Roll and Protoman in their coffee breaks for Bob and George.
  • K, Liz, Mary, and Lucifer from Blip.
  • Alex Williams of Captain SNES can be extremely sarcastic.
  • Hugo the rat from Captn Crazy.
  • Mona Montrois in C'est la Vie - deadpan snark and French.
  • Kei in Circumstances Of The Revenant Braves.
  • Gigi is this constantly in her author notes for Cucumber Quest.
    • Also Peridot, Almond, what little we've seen of Saturday, the two cake ladies, Saturday's butler...
    • ...The Nightmare Knight...
    NK: This is the queen.
    Splashmaster: So?
    NK: So, this isn't the princess. They're two different people. Surely even you can grasp this concept.
    Splashmaster: But queen just older fatter princess!
  • Ha-Hyeon from Divine Bells.
    • Hong-Ryeong and No-Woo also have their moments.
  • A vast majority of the cast of 8-Bit Theater. Most notable are Sarda, Black Mage, Thief, and White Mage.
  • Susan in El Goonish Shive, natch.
  • Zinger Sharpley from Everyday Heroes.
  • Erfworld gives us Prince Tramennis and, to a lesser extent, Foolamancer Jack Snipe. Justified in Jack's case. He's a Foolamancer. It's his job to see the world as it is so that he can manipulate it. Prince Tramennis is just balancing out the rest of his family.
  • Every main and supporting character in both Michael Poe's Errant Story have their moments of this, but the males seem especially prone to it. Jon and Ellis probably have a Snark/Strip ratio of 2:1.
  • Plenty of snark in Exterminatus Now. Earliest example:
    Harold Eastwood: (on Virus smoking in his intro page) You mean it was a lame attempt to look badass.
    Syrus "The Virus" Zuviel: Did it work?
    Eastwood: No, you just looked like a regular ass.
    Virus: Ha. And indeed, ha. Don't quit your day job Harry.
  • Most of the cast of Fletcher Apts except for Kia and Mr.Fletcher.
  • Daniel from Footloose, which can result in his receiving a smack (or boot) upside the head from his twin sister Jin.
  • It's fair to say that Girl Genius is another World of Snark.
    Agatha:(as she and Gil are plummeting) Oh, it's a falling machine. I'm so impressed.
    • Wooster gets in his digs, too. Though as he's British that comes with the territory.
    • Carson von Mekkhan seems to have this as his default setting.
    • Dr. Sun is infamous for his "sun-ny bedside manner."
  • Antimony and Reynardine from Gunnerkrigg Court.
    Reynardine: Haha! Tired already, child?
    Antimony: Don't be so cocky. You don't have any lungs.
  • Zombie of Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name is so deadpan that it can be hard to tell whether he's serious or not.
  • Half the regular [non-superhero] cast in Head Trip, Lilian especially, plus Chemokid.
  • Labor Day in Holiday Wars often delivers these types of lines. The first time he did so happened in episode 34.
  • So, so, so many examples from Homestuck. Just within the main characters, Dave, Rose, and occasionally John all qualify, and beyond that, practically half the cast qualifies. There's a reason the verbal competition between Kanaya and Rose is measured by the "Flighty Broads and their Snarky Horseshit-o-Meter." And that said "Horseshit-o-Meter" explodes.
    It simply cannot take this much horseshit.
  • Jean in The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!, reflecting the fact that she is the Only Sane One in the cast.
  • Charlie from Khaos Komix has shades of this.
  • Kadeen of Knights Errant gets an honorable mention for snarking while suffering from a massive chest wound.
  • Most of the cast of Lackadaisy indulges in some snark, but Zib almost exists to offer his sarcastic take on matters.
  • Worf in Larp Trek, unsurprisingly enough.
  • Green in The Law of Purple occasionally pulls a Deadpan Snarker moment, as does his brother Blue.
  • Rayne of Least I Could Do goes so far over the top with the Idiot Hero and Handsome Lech routines that most of the rest of the cast are divided into those who can use deadpan snarking to survive his bombastic ways (Issa and Noel), and those who turn into his punching bags (Jon and Mick). Noel is probably the best example.
  • Life has a couple examples:
    VGG: You're being awful observant.
    Edward: I'm just sharp like that, I guess.
    VGG: Absolutely. It took you a month to notice one thing.
  • Richard from Looking for Group.
    Richard: I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger in my chest.
  • Pato from M9 Girls!. She is usually the Only Sane Man of the group, so she is fond of doing snarky remarks on the other girls' decisions.
  • The title character of Matchu, as well as a few of the other, less jaded characters.
  • Jason in Multiplex. Funnily enough, he is often confused for an Author Avatar, which the author denies... to some extent.
  • Marius from My Life In Blue.
  • While Artax tries it occasionally...
    Yeager: Contrary to... most of my dating history, not every woman who's interested in me is a flesh-craving abomination.
    Artax: Really? Have you been seeing someone we don't know about?
... Nodwick does it more or less nonstop.
Artax: She Who Must Not Be Named has taken That Which Man Was Not Meant To Know!
Nodwick: Did she say where She Who went?
Artax: To The Lands Which Know No Name!
Nodwick: Uh-huh... let me know if we find any proper nouns in all this mess.
  • The Order of the Stick is a World of Snark, so this may take some time...
    • Roy Greenhilt has his snarkiness being his primary character flaw — according to the beings of pure law and good that judge him in the afterlife, anyway. Since he is Lawful Good, that's a flaw.
    • Among the supporting roles, Vaarsuvius plays this role often. Being The Spock, V is certainly the most deadpan of all.
    • Belkar, post-fake Character Development.
      Crystal: Arrgh! You little twit, I'm gonna kill you!
      Belkar: Yeah, and I'm going to drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic, shall we?
    • On the evil side, this role is usually taken by Redcloak, who is often paired up with over-the-top cliched bad guy Xykon or the adorably naive Monster in the Darkness.
      Redcloak: I'm on my way to finish zombifying the monsters we killed up in the tower.
      MitD: Yeah, I can help with that.
      Redcloak: Really? So, I guess those three boxes of mallomars you finished off somehow earned you enough XP to gain 5 levels in cleric overnight.
      MitD: Well, they were especially chewy....
      Redcloak: Then unless you are volunteering your services as raw materials, I don't think you are going to be much help.
    • Half of the named characters get a crowning moment of snark or two, and some unnamed. Bonus points to Spoony Bard Elan, who's not particularly bright most of the time, doubles as his Crowning Moment Of Awesome when he pulls a What the Hell, Hero? moment on Vaarsuvius when he/she killed a minor villain purely because he/she was impatient that the plot wasn't moving fast enough for his/her taste.
    Vaarsuvius: Your swift progress with illusions is overshadowed only by your long-overdue grasp of the basics of sarcasm.
  • All of the characters in Out There, but mostly Sherry, Clayton, and James.
  • Ozy of Ozy and Millie, being The Stoic, manages to be so deadpan that his targets often don't even realize he's being snarky. A prominent case of this came when Avery declared himself to be a "bad boy".
  • Tycho in Penny Arcade.
  • The On-Cue Ball from Precocious is an oracle! ...Or, very possibly, prerecorded snark.
    '''"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying atten—I MEAN REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN!"
  • Brent Sienna from PvP.
  • Zodon from the web- and print-comic PS238.
  • Faye (and others) in Questionable Content. Early in the comic's run, Faye and Martin got their new apartment because the landlady liked their snarkiness.
  • Nancy in Rhapsodies.
  • Mr. Snippy in Romantically Apocalyptic.
    Captain: (in front of a computer with a destroyed monitor) Hello computer... I'd like one free internet please. Maybe if I twiddle these wires...
    Mr. Snippy: You are an idiot.
    Captain: What? No... Why?
    Mr. Snippy: (holding up a cell phone with a destroyed screen) To illustrate, I shall take a photo of your epic failure with my phone.
  • In RPG World, every member of the main cast gets a turn at deadpan snarking, even the dim-witted Hero. Cherry, Eikre, and Reka are the most frequent offenders.
  • Most of the main cast of Rumors of War, and a good chunk of the periphery characters are snarky — possibly to the point of creating a veritable World of Snark.
  • Yuudai from Sakana is this occasionally, which fits well with his general Jerkass personality.
  • Bunker from Sandusky.
  • Ferret from Scooter And Ferret.
  • Quinn from Shotgun Shuffle is a particularly caustic one.
    Quinn: Do you speak English? 'Cause I don't speak retard.
  • Art from Sequential Art is like this whenever he isn't busy being a Man Child.
  • Rhea from Slightly Damned is snark with a tail.
  • Nearly all the cast of Something Positive, but Davan is King Snark.
  • Stickman from Stickman and Cube.
  • Ruby, in Sticky Dilly Buns, has a bumpy start as a snarker, being too neurotic to manage the deadpan well and living in a fairly snark-light comic. However, this strip suggests that she's working on the skill. The male disguise may help her relax enough, but mostly it's the golden opportunity that she's offered.
  • Cassie, Chris and Alan are all snarkers in Sunstone.
  • Also many people in another of the author's comics, Super Stupor. Come to think of it, perhaps every character R. K. Milholland creates. And thus, probably Milholland himself, as well.
  • Androssi Zahard from Tower of God. That paired with her arrogant narcissism and Jerkass With A Heart Of Gold attitude have made her somewhat of a fan-favourite.
  • Bert and Darby from TRU-Life Adventures are the most consistently snarky among the toy store staff, but almost everyone working there gets a moment. It must be a survival technique for dealing with the customers.
  • Gracelis in Trying Human.
    Quazky: The master love machine has taken him (Hue) under his wing!
    Gracelis: You mean EBE1? (blows smoke in Quazky's face while maintaining a completely serious expression)
    Quazky: NO! ME!
  • Lazarus from Underling.
  • Dewey from Unshelved.
    Mell: People don't like it when you're right all the time.
    Dewey: If being right is wrong, I don't want to be right. Nah, I still want to be right.
  • Aeris, the pink female cat from VG Cats, provides the page pic. Pantsman is snarky as well, but to a lesser extent.
  • Shelly's conscience from Wapsi Square is just as sarcastic as it is creepy.
  • Reuben from Woods For The Trees.
  • The Word Weary features a character named Yorick who has yet to have a line that ISN'T dead snarky.
  • Jason Grey in The Wotch (and Sonja as well).
    Jason: Anne, even your personified sarcasm is no match for me. I've been constanty sarcastic for 15 years.
  • Howard from Zodiac Blues, even when he's facing his worst fears.
  • In Zokusho Comics, Max's reaction to having his leg blown off by a suit case bomb? Snark..
  • Carrie, Simon, Vincent and Autumn from Zoophobia.
  • Imm from this comic appears to be headed this way.

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